TransWorld: Introduction and a proposal for Uber fiction writers. (1451 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.46 on 62 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jack McCallum (View user info) at 2007-08-30 19:08:29 EDT
It's that time again, Uber.
Two years ago Pandemic (http://www.ubersite.com/m/61238) tales swept this site like a... well, a pandemic.
The St. Eubrie (http://www.ubersite.com/m/91421) idea was worked by a hell of a lot more authors than me (motherfuckin ADD, man) with some fun results.
Now it is time for another ubersite multi-author free-for-all cluster-fuck.
No deadlines, no assignments, no pressure. You want to add to this world? Do it. You want to sit back and read? Enjoy. You want to show Shlongy your hole? Hey, that's not my call.
All I ask is that you title each story in a similar format.
TransWorld: <Your Title Here.>
If this idea takes off it will make it easier for others to search for stories in this series. Link your own stories, or other, or not. Your choice. Everyone is invited to participate.
You can tell small and intimate stories, sweeping historic tales, whatever you want. You can set tales far in the future, or just a hundred years from now, hell, ten years from now.
THE SETUP: It is 500 years in the future... give or take.
At the end of the 21st century, there was a world war that lasted decades.
One new issue compounding international tensions was the creation and utilization of transgenics, genetic cross species melds between animals, between plants, between animals and plants, and experiments with human 'trans' which every industrialized nation denied. The goals were sturdier crops, durable livestock, and healthier people, and many of the experiments were ethically questionable.
Many nations were hit hard by the war, economies and infrastructures nearly collapsing. Nuclear and biological weapons were used, along with traditional arms. The USA, Canada, and many countries of the EEC experienced an age later dubbed the Second Dark when the First Digital Age came to an end.
Fortunes were lost. Histories were lost. There were long periods of hunger, and disease. 'G storms' circled the Earth, population explosions and devastating plagues moving in waves of plant and animal growth and death that left some areas barren and some filled with new life.
By the year 2500, societies are rebuilding. Along the coasts of a new nation called Ameca there are technologically advanced cities from the northern fjords to the tropical beaches. Between the coasts are wastelands are slums, city-states, and wooden-walled towns called forts. Across the Atlantic Ocean are two seats of power moving towards war, the Union on the mainland, and the Islands, north of the mainland. There are mysterious lands of which little is know. The continents once known as South America and Africa. The vast emptiness of central Asia. The isolationist island Kingdoms of Nihon and Auz.
The lines between human and animal are now blurred. There are countless trans-species, blends of trans-species, and pureblood humans, all with their own political goals, prejudices and religions.
This is TransWorld.
--
TransWorld: Jif
PS 11, Fort Kansas
Jif fidgeted in her seat. She hated seats.
Sapiens, with their nearly inflexible spines, loved seats. Sapiens had most of the wealth in Fort K. Sapiens helped the 'unfortunate' by building schools like this plywood shack with a corrugated tin roof. Sapiens were in fact the only species who loved seats. Even Billy Largo, a primate trans who was closer to human than most of the kids in class, looked uncomfortable in his wooden seat.
Homo pans, Jif thought. Billy is a Homo pans.
Jif wished they could just curl up on mats. Or pillows. Big pillows would be good.
A bird flashed in one of the windows as it flew by the schoolhouse and Jif turned, her wide eyes attracted to the motion.
I bet it was pink, Jif thought. Pink was one of the colors she had difficulty with, but the mix of bluish-green and yellowish-gray she saw was similar to what most Sapiens called pink.
If it was pink, it was a beefbird. Beefbirds were not supposed to be able to fly. Everyone said they had been made with tiny wings and tiny brains and bright plumage so they couldn't conceive of escape, and if they escaped they couldn't get away, and if they tried to get away they could be seen in an instant. They were supposed to eat seed and grow big and provide meat. Something had changed.
Jif looked at her teacher, Miss Berrington. There was a stray cat sleeping in one corner of the classroom, curled into a fuzzy orange ball. Jif looked from the Sapiens woman to the cat.
I'm somewhere in between, she thought.
Jif wondered how the woman could stand on two legs all day without going insane. I can stand tall and straight too, she thought. But all day? Tottering around like that? It was ridiculous. There were times you just had to curl up and get comfortable, or stretch out on your back.
She yawned and wished she could take a quick nap. She'd been up all night reading. She had found some moldy old books in the basement of what had once been a house. The wooden dormitory she lived in had been built on the foundation. She was keeping the basement, and the books, a secret. Not that the stories were dangerous. They were just Sapiens make-believe.
Miss Berrington was writing on the blackboard. She used lots of different colors of chalk.
Fameus Homo sapiens:
—Lenardo Davinsi, painter of the Lisa, the most fameus work of art from before the Dark Age
—Gorge Washington, the father of old America and the first President, who chopped down trees and made wooden teeth out of them
—Nail Armstrong, the very first living being to walk on the Moon
—Bill Grapes, the wealthiest man who ever lived, and the Sapiens who started the First Digital Age by inventing the computer and the internet
Jif thought that alone was an insult to most of the kids here. Everyone could see white chalk on a black board. Why use red chalk and yellow chalk and create a bunch of faint gray lines? What was the point of being here if some kids couldn't read a quarter of what was up there?
It's all garbage anyway, Jif thought. Daddy called it Sapiens propaganda.
"Half of the curriculum is a guess at best, and they just make up the rest," Raff Houston used to say. "They know as much about their history as they do ours, and they are just bullshitting the kids."
This was a speech Jif heard quite often, and when daddy started swearing momma would step in and shush him.
"Yes, dear, but the children have to learn their numbers and letters." Jule Houston was patient, and said one word for every ten that came out of her husband. "We can teach them right from wrong, but they need the basics of school, and they need to interact with other trans."
Jif missed those voices. Both her parents, as well as most of Pawneetown, had been washed away in the flood of '08. She had been only six then. Just a kid. She was a lot older and wiser now. Almost fourteen.
She lived in a communal dormitory with a lot of other trans kids, in a shantytown just outside Fort Kansas. She was dependant on the Sapiens for her food and clothes and education, and she hated it.
Outside the classroom someone let out a loud, wet sneeze. A few of the kids laughed and Miss Berrington glared over one shoulder, then returned to her list of Sapiens. There were no trans on the list.
Jif looked at the plastic ID badge hanging from the chain around her neck.
'Jif Houston,' it said. 'Ward of the Midwest Quad b. 4.15.2502.'
There was a smeary copy of the Governor's signature, probably from a stamp, the indecipherable knotty signature of the Secretary of Education, and brisk lines showing the endorsement of Commander Edgar Smith, who ran Fort Kansas.
She knew the Midwest Quad used to be called Iowa, Kansas, Missouri and Nebraska, back when there were States. She bet the teacher didn't know that.
A lot of myths and stories passed on from trans parent to offspring were banned by Sapiens governments as 'primitive conceits that had a detrimental effect on children.' Her father had said that. He had also insisted that a lot of the stories passed down were the real history of Ameca.
She looked at her badge again, and the picture under the plastic.
Her eyes were golden in color, three times as big as the eyes of Sapiens kids.
Her nose and mouth were small, and most of her teeth came to points. She had trouble with sibilants, even in her own name, which she pronounced 'Hewth-ton.' She liked her lips, and thought she had a nice smile when she didn't bare her teeth.
She had big ears that poked up and out. She had long ago given up trying to hide them under her blonde hair.
Jif was small and slender except for her rear and her thighs, masses of muscle designed for quick sprints and high leaps. Her entire body was covered in short, fine hair, like every other Felis she'd ever met, but that hair was blonde as well, and so fine it was almost invisible.
She had been born with a Sapien brain, and she had the upside-down-teardrop tapering skull of many trans children. A lot of trans kids died from clamphead, their Sapiens brains growing too big for their trans species skulls. With clamphead, the brain essentially strangled itself within the skull.
She didn't have big mammaries like the Sapiens and the trans primates, and boys, Sapiens boys and boys of every trans species, seemed to really like big mammaries. Her chest was now (and always would be) very flat. She had hips like a Sapiens girl and eighteen inches of slender tail at the base of her spine. She wore her denims low on her hips and curled her tail into one of her back pockets so Tooly Thorely (who usually sat behind her, he was a Homo sus and overweight and looked much more like a pig that Jif looked like a cat) wouldn't pull on it for a joke.
Jif was pure Homo felis, as pure as any trans could be, anyhow. Her father had been a Homo canis. He used to say that was why his mother argued like cats and dogs. Jif couldn't imagine being loved by anyone any more than her father and mother had loved her, but sometimes, knowing that her mother and father never could have conceived her, she found herself wondering if her real father was alive, out in the world, somewhere.
The school secretary rapped on the swinging doors and slipped into the classroom. She whispered to Miss Berrington and handed over a note on a small square of paper. Miss Berrington looked at Jif and frowned, and then beckoned Jif with an impatient flick of her hand.
"It seems someone wants to see you," Miss Berrington said crisply. She was annoyed, and not trying to hide it. "Outside the classroom. During school hours. This is most disruptive."
Jif smiled (without baring her teeth) and followed the secretary outside, through the swinging doors and down the steps. With all the kids inside the classroom it was quiet in this corner of Fort Kansas. The light slap of her sneakers on the wooden steps echoed off of the old wooden walls behind and above the schoolhouse.
Someone was standing in the shadow of the wall, someone who sneezed loudly, waiting for the secretary to go back inside before waving an arm at Jif.
She approached cautiously, ready to run if there was trouble. She saw boots and trousers and gloves and a long coat and a hat. That coat is called a duster, she thought. She also saw a bandanna and a hat and sunglasses, and a voluminous handkerchief held in one raised hand, hiding the face.
When she was close, and there was no one else nearby, the stranger lowered the handkerchief. Jif looked up and saw the face of a human/cat trans, a face far more cat-like than any she had seen before.
He smiled (Jif was convinced by his size and his smell that he was unmistakably a he), showing pointed teeth and long, thick incisors, and then he said, "Did you know the felidae family of trans make wonderful assassins?"
User Reviews
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-09-09 17:20:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111574
Part one of a multipart series...
With your permission I'd like to borrow your Jif character Jack.
Smiley very nearly fits the bill for the guy the recruits her...
Submitted by PhillipTheGreat (user info) at 2007-09-07 14:51:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111554
My attempt.
Submitted by PhillipTheGreat (user info) at 2007-09-07 03:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
!
Submitted by beat_raven (user info) at 2007-09-01 04:40:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by steph (user info) at 2007-08-31 21:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good story...+2 for this, though.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-08-31 06:36:53 CDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuckin' furries.
Take this shit back to 4chan.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-31 18:28:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-08-31 15:39:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111387
muphukking meat.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-08-31 15:10:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
for taking back Ubersite
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-08-31 14:03:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111385
More meat to fill this out with, Jack.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-31 13:45:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Write more. I liked this.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-08-31 12:14:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so has anybody made a cat-fucking joke yet?
My (sort of) entry is here http://www.ubersite.com/m/111383
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-08-31 11:50:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, this fucking ruled. As a self proclaimed Sci-Fi addict I love this idea. I dont think I have the caliber of talent to write one of these though. Maybe I'll give it a whirl.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-08-31 11:39:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oryx_and_Crake
You should check it out. It's a great read, about genetic modification, after a megacollapse of civilization.
And yeah, about furries....fuckin wierd.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-08-31 11:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I saw a news article on the whole furries thing. Fucking weird, if you ask me.
And if this is similar to other sci-fi out there it could be because I haven't read any sci-fi in many years.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-08-31 10:01:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have you been reading Oryx & Crake recently? I like this, it's quite awesome, though I must question if you're one of those "furries" I keep hearing about.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-08-31 09:22:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
nice idea. too bad it makes me think of lady boys. :(
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-08-31 08:47:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent, I look forward to reading more entries
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-08-31 07:55:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like this, Jack. To bad I'm not sci-fiy enough to write something for this. I shall enjoy reading the entries though :)
GC is a super-mega dork. Pass it on.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-08-31 07:36:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuckin' furries.
Take this shit back to 4chan.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-08-31 04:34:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-31 03:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want a penis.
*****************
they're over rated
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-31 04:02:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-31 03:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want a penis.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-31 02:50:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pete
http://www.play.com/DVD/DVD/4-/3299695/Neverwhere/Product.html
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-08-31 01:11:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good concept Jack, I like it.
and if I were female I wouldn't want a male felis trans either..... male cats have barbed hooks on the tip of their penis.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-08-30 23:58:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who said I was interested in a male cat-human hybrid? I might half-ass a lot of stuff, but not my sex fantasies.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-08-30 23:44:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-08-30 23:03:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet you'd give your right arm to fuck a cat-human hybrid.
I know I would.
--
Only if I could teach it to use the toilet and not a litter box, and to stop puking on the rug.
Male cats have raked-back penos spines. You have been warned.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-08-30 23:03:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet you'd give your right arm to fuck a cat-human hybrid.
I know I would.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-08-30 22:09:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:37:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It's a cool setup, but I definitely don't like the transgenic cat/human idea. Suspension of belief only goes so far, it's more believable and realistic with pure humans, just like it was 500 years in the other direction. Adding cats and mythological stuff like that only makes me see this as some bizarre furry story, rather than an interesting futuristic society. It's a good effort, but I won't be doing this.
--
Agreed. That's why I tried to tell it straighforward as possible. The trans people are MOSTLY people, with some animal elements, not half and half.
We are on the verge of doing some really strange transgenic shit. Who knows what the hell will happen in the next 100 years. And then a few centuries after than...
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/organfarm/business/business.html
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-08-30 21:21:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool story.
The whole background, now..that reminds me too much of the Palladium Games' RPG world RIFTS.
RIFTS is some cool shit though. Maybe I can do something with this.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rifts_(role-playing_game)
Read that. If you think this is cool, you'd love RIFTS.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-08-30 21:18:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2007-08-31 00:42:23 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:36:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Neil Gaiman
=============
I've only read American Gods and Good Omens. I know he wrote another about a anthropomorphic star falling to earth but the fact that it is now a movie frightens me.
-----------
Stardust is quite good.
His short stories books are worth a look as well.
Give Anansie Boys a miss, its quite dull.
***********************************
Hey now for all you comic dorks Sandman is awesome and so is the Lucifer series.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-08-30 21:12:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
(sfw) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMmlF5kYUhA
Submitted by MouthSore (user info) at 2007-08-30 20:59:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-08-30 20:02:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just didnt like Anansie Boys Lookie, it just wasnt up to scratch.
I forgot Neverwhere, which incidentally was a TV show BEFORE he wrote the novel for it. I did not know that til recently.
And stupidly you cannot get a region 2 dvd of it despite it being a British TV show. Mental.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-08-30 20:02:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kick ass story Jack... nicely done. Sci-fi isn't my bag generally but this has a really cool flow to it.
...me likey.
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:59:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2007-08-31 00:42:23 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:36:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Neil Gaiman
=============
I've only read American Gods and Good Omens. I know he wrote another about a anthropomorphic star falling to earth but the fact that it is now a movie frightens me.
-----------
Stardust is quite good.
His short stories books are worth a look as well.
Give Anansie Boys a miss, its quite dull.
=============
The first chapter of Anansi Boys was tacked on to the end of American Gods. I remember reading it and thinking, "Fat Charlie needs a good douching." Kind of put m off picking up the book.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:55:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-08-31 00:53:46 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2007-08-31 00:42:23 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:36:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Neil Gaiman
=============
I've only read American Gods and Good Omens. I know he wrote another about a anthropomorphic star falling to earth but the fact that it is now a movie frightens me.
-----------
Stardust is quite good.
His short stories books are worth a look as well.
Give Anansie Boys a miss, its quite dull.
---
I must respectfully disagree
Anansie boys has a different voice and pacing. It's more British. Give it another go. It's not american gods - but then, what is?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2007-08-31 00:42:23 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:36:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Neil Gaiman
=============
I've only read American Gods and Good Omens. I know he wrote another about a anthropomorphic star falling to earth but the fact that it is now a movie frightens me.
-----------
Stardust is quite good.
His short stories books are worth a look as well.
Give Anansie Boys a miss, its quite dull.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:51:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good idea, and a nice story to boot!
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:42:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:36:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Neil Gaiman
=============
I've only read American Gods and Good Omens. I know he wrote another about a anthropomorphic star falling to earth but the fact that it is now a movie frightens me.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:39:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-08-31 00:37:35 BST (#)
Ranking: 1
It's a cool setup, but I definitely don't like the transgenic cat/human idea. Suspension of belief only goes so far, it's more believable and realistic with pure humans, just like it was 500 years in the other direction. Adding cats and mythological stuff like that only makes me see this as some bizarre furry story, rather than an interesting futuristic society. It's a good effort, but I won't be doing this.
---
Racist!! Cats need love too
see. Red Dwarf
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:37:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It's a cool setup, but I definitely don't like the transgenic cat/human idea. Suspension of belief only goes so far, it's more believable and realistic with pure humans, just like it was 500 years in the other direction. Adding cats and mythological stuff like that only makes me see this as some bizarre furry story, rather than an interesting futuristic society. It's a good effort, but I won't be doing this.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:36:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack gave the overall timeline. You can choose to write your story during ANY part of said timeline - he was just laying out the events.
You can write about a run-up to the world wars ten years from now OR the period Jack wrote about... 500 yrs from now.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-08-30 16:30:34 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"hell, ten years from now.
THE SETUP: It is 500 years in the future... give or take."
I couldn't get past the redundancy in this. Which is it?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:36:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Neil Gaiman
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:35:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
puss in boots and hello kitty collide!!
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:34:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantasy, on the whole, is garbage. The only good fantasy is when someone is deliberately making fun of fantasy, e.g., Discworld.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:33:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
the confusing thing is that the character is named after surface cleaner
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:32:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"hell, ten years from now.
THE SETUP: It is 500 years in the future... give or take."
I couldn't get past the redundancy in this. Which is it?
----
I was confused by that as well.
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:31:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sci-Fi never interests me, I much more prefer fantasy. Dragons & wizards ftw. Though that was well written with a great imagination.
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"hell, ten years from now.
THE SETUP: It is 500 years in the future... give or take."
I couldn't get past the redundancy in this. Which is it?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:25:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Saying that. I'll try and join in.
Captain Toilet Duck will lead my horde of Sunpatians against the warriors of Vimto
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:20:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you smeared peanut butter on your toilet?!
weird
I use it on my pasta and salmon
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:19:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I use Jif to clean the bathroom.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:17:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
~Crystle Approved~
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:15:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-08-31 00:14:37 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:13:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
kitchen cleaner
lemon juice in a lemon shaped container
both Jif
--
Yeah, and it's peanut butter in the USA.
----
that's just silly
hang on - you named a character after your favourite nuts??
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:14:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
you braced for a trannie before Jack?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:14:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:13:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
kitchen cleaner
lemon juice in a lemon shaped container
both Jif
--
Yeah, and it's peanut butter in the USA.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:13:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*braces for impact of transvestite and transexual jokes*
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:13:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
kitchen cleaner
lemon juice in a lemon shaped container
both Jif
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:12:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Didnt they rename it Cif?
I may participate, I love a bit of the old cyberpunk me
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:09:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
don't forget the pancakes though
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:09:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you watch - they'll all comment now and shake their heads
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-30 19:09:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jif?
That will not fly with British users. No sir. Not at all