The Day of the Waffle (476 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.32 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by drogoroch (View user info) at 2007-08-31 06:01:32 EDT
From: Waffle 1
To: Waffle 2
Subject: 'Package' Extraction.
"Waffle 2 you are cleared for go. Good luck, may god protect you with his syrup of joy and delight."
From: Waffle 2
To: Waffle 1
Subject: 'Package' Extraction.
"Waffle 2 preparing extraction. We are go go go. Smoke me a kipper Waffle 1 I'll be back for breakfast. Will maintain email silence until objective complete."
--
Waffle 2 put down his keyboard and steadied himself for his mission. He had never tried this type of extraction before. In the past he had just grabbed whatever was left on the targets desk and hoped it would be the right thing to take. This time however he had a specific target. He must enter the office undetected and remove the 'package' in the 5 minute window he had been afforded.
He felt he was ready it was now just a matter of waiting for the ITASS to leave his office.
Waffle 2 heard shuffling in the target office and heard an "Okay, on my way."
This was it, he was leaving. Waffle 2 sat and pretended to type at his desk to make the ITASS think he was working.
ITASS walked passed Waffle 2's office without so much as a stray glance; so focused was he on responding to an urgent call for assistance.
Waffle 2 broke cover and jumped his desk, catching a trailing foot, the left one, and falling hard into the wall that was far too close for comfort. Wiping blood from his mangled nose he straightened up and continued his mission, people were relying on him to achieve success. The fate of the office Karma was dependant on his completing this mission.
Dusting himself off Waffle 2 ran into the ITASS office and proceeded to the target desk. That was when he paused in shock. The 'Package' had been moved from its designated spot. Intel had specifically told him that the 'Package' was to be found in the little spot between the Keyboard and the Screen. All that was there was empty space and a crumpled post it note.
Damn. The clock was ticking. Waffle 2 had to reassess and change tack. Luckily for the Office personnel, and the population of the planet, Waffle 2 was well trained in counter Waffling and 'Package' handling. He knew instinctively how best to extract 'Packages' with minimal problems arising.
He searched the drawers of ITASSes desk, and swears he hear archangels sing an alleluia when he spotted his prize nestled between 2 cream buns in drawer 3.
Picking up the 'Package' he raised it above his head in thanks before placing it reverently in his special 'Package' carrier, a tesco's plastic bag he liked to think he was being 'Green' by reusing the thing. He then poked his fingers into the cream buns to destroy their loveliness.
He prepared for his evacuation. From his careful and detailed training he knew that getting to the 'Package' was only half the job. For mission success he had to evac safely to his office.
With his best surreptitious glance he checked the corridor outside and, seeing that it was safe, he legged it the 3 foot to his own office door. Once there he removed his 'Office Camouflage Clothes' of Tie, Shirt and trousers and slipped into his normal attire of Jeans and T-Shirt.
He then sat down and typed his message to Waffle 1.
From: Waffle 2
To: Waffle 1
Subject: Mission Update.
"Waffle 2 to Waffle 1. Come in. Over."
From: Waffle 1
To: Waffle 2
Subject: Mission update.
"I'm here Waffle 2. No need to ask me to 'Come in' just say what you have to say."
From: Waffle 2
To: Waffle 1
Subject: Mission Update.
"Sorry Waffle 1 still buzzing from the mission. Mission status is Green. 'Package' safely removed from ITASS possession and safe in my possession. No casualties to report and now on the way to the kitchen.
Anyone want a waffle with Maple Syrup?"
From: Waffle 1
To: Waffle 2
Subject: Mission update.
"Fuck yeah Waffle 2. Bring them in hot and steaming. That will teach the fucker to cook delicious smelling waffles in work and not share them.
Waffle reception team standing by for our filling."
User Reviews
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-09-02 17:28:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't think i've ever had a waffle, isn't it a breakfast food? why would someone put ice-cream ona breakfast food?
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-09-01 06:08:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by beat_raven (user info) at 2007-09-01 04:39:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-08-31 21:16:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hA!
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-31 18:22:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-08-31 18:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-08-31 17:35:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Former cop leads waffle theft ring.
News at 11.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-08-31 13:41:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I like the word "waffling". (You lost me with the whole catching a foot bit, sorry. So no +2.)
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-08-31 13:27:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-08-31 11:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Butter, maple syrup: yes.
Fruit, icecream: yes.
Chicken: maybe.
KIPPER WAFFLE? NO NO NO. A thousand times, WTF is that, and just NO.
I agree with you, particularly about the breakfast meal. If our Sales dept, which I had to walk through every morning before they moved their asses out of our building, had one more goddamned bacon and eggs party and didn't invite us, I may have absconded with their griddle.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-08-31 07:52:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-08-31 07:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Confusing. I stopped reading.
--
Well at least you explained your reasoning.
I admit to this being confusing, it was a rush job as I was busy eating stolen waffles.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-08-31 07:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Confusing. I stopped reading.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-08-31 06:48:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rather quite different - I liked.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-31 06:47:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It gets worse, he's a geek too.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-08-31 06:44:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahhh good honest criticism below. Where would we be without it?
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2007-08-31 06:40:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-08-31 06:20:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-08-31 06:18:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love drogo too.
--
And it's Friday too!!!
Life is complete for me today.
* Skips away, in a manly way of course. Yes you can skip in a manly fashion Rocky did it.*
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-31 06:19:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Im going to start a Drogo fanclub.
Do you want in Merlina?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-08-31 06:18:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love drogo too.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-31 06:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh I mean in a heterosexual way. Gaylord.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-08-31 06:16:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-31 06:14:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Drogo I love you!!
--
If only my Homophobic ways didnt stop me from reciprocating that love Young EM, if only!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-31 06:14:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Drogo I love you!!
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-08-31 06:02:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate not being able to attach pictures anymore. Had a great one of Good old George Peppard ready too. "I love it when a plan comes together"