My Little Friend (601 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -0.9 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by RenTheUnsightly (View user info) at 2007-09-01 10:47:11 EDT
I'd like to take a minute from all the pointless, self-gratifying camwhores and dick talk and whatnot, and introduce y'all to a friend of mine. His name is Jesus (H.) Christ. And he was the bravest little schizo to have ever traversed this Earth of ours.
Yes, Jesus, like countless people before the advent of modern psychiatry, was an undiagnosed schizophrenic. Take this verse from John 1: 1-3: "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being." Can you make heads or tails of that? Complete gibberish. It represents the honest attempt of an overwhelmed minister to transcribe the incoherent blatherings of a delusional mind.
And I can totally relate to it. To what Jesus performed and underwent. I happen to have had a schizophrenic episode myself not too long ago. One crazy weekend and now there's certain people I wouldn't feel comfortable seeing again. But the offshoot of that is that I totally understand the sense of impending doom and self-importance and the relentless attacks of guilt. The guilt propels the most insane trains of thoughts and concoctions--a world gone mad, a Valentine's day of the utmost importance and you blew it! You blew it all. And now they know. They know what you did to that poor girl. You yourself may not remember but goddamnit everyone knows and they think you're ugly for it. Jesus turned 20 or so and started down a similar path. The ages between 17 and 22 are the most common for the onset of serious schizophrenia. And what was Jesus doing in his 20's? He was wandering around Israel preaching and being chased by the deamons inside him, telling him that his was purpose in life was to take on everyone's sins. To suffer for them.
"He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; And like one from whom men hide their face He was despised, and we did not esteem Him." From Isa 52:2,3. Jesus obviously had some tough times. However, if you think about it, his lifestyle was perfect for a schizophrenic. He wasn't tied down to a specific job or town, he just sorta bummed around and crashed other people's places. He always had an audience for his crazy theories about his body being bread sent from heaven. I mean, you might have been witness to the uncomfortable rantings of a local schizo on the bus: they'd die for a devoted audience.
I don't want to seem like I'm making fun of Jesus' life. From what little I know about his story, I can appreciate the fact that he spread peace and love. And I think that was his greatest feat. To be able to withstand the fear and paranoia and overcome it by pure thought power, without the benefit of modern medications. Just pure force of thought, the thought that he had a Father in the sky looking after him, and that all of humanity was his loving family. That's pretty nice, I think.
But finally, things didn't end on a pretty note for 'ole Jebus. His inner violence and outer notoriety finally caught up with him and seemingly manifested itself in the form of pissed off Romans carrying pikes. And when they came for him, you can bet he saw them coming a mile away. In Jesus' mind it made perfect sense and after a few anxious moments he let his body go limp and they dragged him off to the cross.
I can't explain how I can relate to that moment of reckoning. You'll have to take my word for it. In any case, it makes me feel that much closer to my secret little friend, Jesus H.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-04 15:07:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-09-02 21:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-09-01 16:10:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-01 18:02:48 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-09-01 17:01:48 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
Jesus would -2 this post if he had an ubersite account.
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im sure he has actually.
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didn't someone 'leave' last week and name Jesus H Christ as their alter?
god that comes out as extremely nerdy.
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-09-02 01:36:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What?
Whatever. I don't care enough to have it explained.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-09-01 16:39:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus was a good guy he didnt need this shit
So he took a pill with a bag of peanuts and
A coca-cola and he swallowed it.
He discovered the beatles
And he recorded with the stones
Once he even opened up a three-way package
In southern california for old george jones
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-09-01 16:10:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-01 18:02:48 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-09-01 17:01:48 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
Jesus would -2 this post if he had an ubersite account.
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im sure he has actually.
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shhhhh keep it down!
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-01 15:56:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-09-01 15:36:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-01 13:02:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-09-01 17:01:48 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
Jesus would -2 this post if he had an ubersite account.
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im sure he has actually.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-01 12:08:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Decent idea, poor execution.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-09-01 12:01:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Jesus would -2 this post if he had an ubersite account.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-09-01 11:59:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Auto -2 Blasphemy