Mildly NSFW: This place is dead quiet tonight so I thought I'd share what I was thinking the first time I got intimate with a few individuals. (2105 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.8 on 43 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lungfish is an Asshole (View user info) at 2007-09-02 21:09:06 EDT
Lucky you.
1) Holy shit. I'm gonna get some. Holy shit. I'm gonna get some. Holy shit. I'm gonna get some. Oh fuck!!!
Ummm ...
2) I wonder if she's barely moving because she's so stoned.
3) Hey! That vagina's not horizontal!
4) Well look at that. Those things are twirling in opposite directions. I'll be damned.
5) Well it's about time! Jesus!
6) I thought it was the French who didn't bathe regularly. Italians, too??? Damn.
7) I'm bigger than your boyfriend, eh? Well aren't you just the SWEETEST little thing.
8) I knew you had a huge ass, but I must say that I'm pleasantly surprised that it's so firm. I would never have guessed. The guys are gonna love this.
9) Ladies and gentlemen! We have a screamer! This is just too cool.
10) I wonder if she's barely moving because she's so stoned.
11) Okay. She's walking toward me taking off her bra. I guess I'm really going to... AUGH!!! PUT IT BACK!!! RIGHT NOW, GODDAMMIT!!!
12) Fuckin' shame I'm not going to remember most of this.
13) Holy shit. That thing is a ridiculous monstrosity. Oh well...
14) I wonder if she's barely moving because she's... Hey! You're not stoned. What the fuck?
15) Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh yeah. Screamer No. 2. I love the Dutch.
16) JESUS, WOMAN! WATCH THE FUCKING TEETH!!!
17) Is she 30? Or is she 60? Is she 30? Or is she 60? Is she 30? Or is she 60? Oh, who cares? I'm not going to remember much of this anyway.
18) In the creek? Well, um, yeah, but is that safe?
19) I wonder if she's barely moving because she's so drunk. What? You want me to stop? Are you serious? Oh...well...shit.
20) Oh my God. This officially makes me a prostitute. Oh well...
User Reviews
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-09-30 16:38:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm afraid I'm going to have to start rooting for the Padres now.
I realize this is probably the end of our friendship.
Submitted by Little_Sally (user info) at 2007-09-29 05:53:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I never thought I'd say this. GO DIAMONDBACKS!!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112096
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-09-27 01:36:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-09-23 03:20:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the phillies can't keep winning forever.
but the padres can.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-09-17 13:48:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thanks for what man?
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-09-12 10:28:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lungfish
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-09-08 14:29:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Glavine is perfect through 5... details as they come
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-09-08 08:50:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fair enough then.
man I'm hungover and don't wanna go to work.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-09-06 11:44:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
(We beat fuckin' Peavy, by the way. And we did so handily.)
Good. I'm a little worried about the 'Dres. We're probably going to be playing them in the DS.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-04 14:44:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BLACKMAIL was a good show
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-09-04 13:23:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That picture is filthy with the wrong.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-09-04 13:08:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HIYO!!!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:24:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:07:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay...I'll give ya that I'm younger than YOU...but being in my thirties, that squarely places me in the minority with you on here based over the average Ubernaut's age, no?
Monty Python does kick copious amounts of ass.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-09-04 10:17:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nah...you're young. I can remember when MP first aired in the US. Mainly because I wasn't allowed to watch it. This gave it a mysterious aura, ensuring that I would watch with relish every chance I got for about 20 years.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-04 10:08:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not young, just not well-versed in British comedians. The only Monty Python character I would recognise immediately by face would be John Cleese.
Clearly I need to expose myself to the world more often.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-09-04 09:56:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That's Terry Jones. Monty Python.
Oh, you young people.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-04 09:35:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Who's the photogenic subject?
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-09-03 17:50:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
# Hits: 50184
*ding* *ding* *ding* *ding*
We have a winner !!!!!!!!
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2007-09-03 15:46:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've said most of these before. Alright, maybe I've only said one before, but it was repeated several times throughout the post.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-09-03 13:51:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry, Mom.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-09-03 12:37:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
0 : I'm going to regret this.
0.5 : I might be able to pull myself through this bj.
0.75 : Ok, just because you want to. I hate tight hole's...
</crap>
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-09-03 07:33:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Lungfish, baby - dont get crazy
Detours. fences... I get defensive
I know youve heard it all before -
So I dont say it anymore
I just stand by and watch you
Fight your secret war.
Although I used to wonder why -
I used to cry till I was dry.
Still sometimes I get a strange pain
Inside
Oh, Lungfish, if youre hurting so am i.
Lungfish, honey - I got some money
All is forgiven. listen, listen
And if I seem to be confused
I didnt mean to be with you.
And when you said I scared you,
Well I guess you scared me too.
But we got lucky once before
And if youre somewhere out there
Passed out on the floor.
Oh Lungfish, Im not angry anymore.
----
Seemed fitting.
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-09-03 06:19:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Has a sweaty mangina below
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-03 05:53:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I meant from start to end, but guess what I wrote sounds kinda funny.
Have to be honest though.
Seems as though I am obsessed with vaginas, im not obsessed with vaginas.
vaginas, vaginas, vaginas.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-03 03:24:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Absoloute quality from start to vaginas, but shhhh VAGINAS are sideways......................in Japan.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-09-03 03:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'll tell ya one thing...you can't beat the French for the shit they mumble in the clinches
besides that...they've always seem to treat my johnson like a GOD
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-09-03 03:05:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't unsee it.
I'm disgusted, offended... and I can't look away.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2007-09-02 19:08:13 PDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think the scariest thing about that picture is the pianist's right ankle. Everything else could be considered some sick artist's fantasy, but that ankle--and the tensioned calf connected to it--are too real...it makes the whole God awful scene vivid and horrifying.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-09-03 02:48:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-03 01:16:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-09-03 00:14:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
....its a post
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-09-03 00:06:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FYI
the party went by swimmingly.
the new lady friend is naked in my bed after a fantastic episode which is inappropriate to detail even for uber. my friends got too drunk to even try to embarrass me..
all in all, 2 thumbs up... time to take a shower and hop back to bed.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-09-02 23:09:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
romantic
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-09-02 22:33:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it at least the second best post of the day!
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-09-02 22:29:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So this is what's getting 2's these days.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-09-02 22:22:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
tuns o' fun
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2007-09-02 22:13:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Most amusing.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2007-09-02 22:08:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think the scariest thing about that picture is the pianist's right ankle. Everything else could be considered some sick artist's fantasy, but that ankle--and the tensioned calf connected to it--are too real...it makes the whole God awful scene vivid and horrifying.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-09-02 22:02:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah. We're dicks.
In all honestly, these are all fond memories, except for 19. And of course "the guys" didn't hear about that.
I need smokes.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-09-02 21:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the things i've heard my flatmate and his best mate talk about in reference to girls they've fucked has made me extremely paranoid.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-09-02 21:37:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-02 21:29:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, contrary to popular belief about gender roles, you're ALLOWED to just walk away, you know.
-------
Really? Wouldn't that be cruel?
Nah. Just a bit of nonsense here. The family's off watching somebody's dogs, cats, guinnea pit, and fish. Boredom make me a bad boy.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-02 21:29:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, contrary to popular belief about gender roles, you're ALLOWED to just walk away, you know.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-09-02 21:20:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ummm. Before anybody suggests it, "ridiculous monstrosity" does not refer to a cock or any other part of the male anatomy.