Hotel Manners... (569 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.77 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lilybaby228 (View user info) at 2007-09-03 03:35:26 EDT
I currently work night audit for a hotel in my area. I have been here for a little over a year and needless to say I have run into all sorts of complaints and interesting characters. Recently we had an impromptu front desk meeting and we created a list of hotel "rules" if you will.
The How To Guide for Hotel Guests..
1. Nice hotels cost money. Check in is at 3 and check out is at noon the next day. That is the time frame you are paying for when you check in here. We can not give you a discounted rate if you will only be using the room for 2 hours. If you are only wanting to pay $29.99, there are 5 or 6 fleabag crackhouse hotels down the street. They would be honored to have you stay as their guest.
2. We are not here to personally attack you. Shit happens and people fuck up. If your reservation gets cancelled, we promise we didn't do it for fun or just to spite you. Nothing is certain when you travel and the sooner you accept that, the sooner the both of us will have less stress in our lives.
3. Don't throw your credit card at us like you are Donald Trump or something. We know you aren't and we fucking hate that. Just be nice. If we are obviously busy with other guests and the phones, don't make it worse for us by being pissed off when you finally get up to the desk. It never helps.
4. Use mapquest prior to leaving for the hotel. If you are on your way and the only thing you know is that your hotel "is somewhere in the North Dallas area," We are sorry but you are hopeless and unfortunately we can't track your position via your cellphone, and telling us there is a big tree on the left side of the road won't help either.
5. We don't owe you shit. Just because you heard that someone got an upgrade or something for free, does not mean that you will get the same experience. If the heated pool is scalding hot, don't marinate in it for an hour and then complain because you boiled yourself and your skin is peeling off. If the couple is having loud sex in the room next to you, and its keeping you awake, call us. Please. Because if you dont and the next morning you want your money back, it's not our fault it is yours. Take responsibility for your own actions. We will not compensate you for your own fuck up. Or better yet if the couple is being that loud usually it means they are having a fun time. Call them. Shit you might just get a mind blowing experience from it when they invite you over to join in.
6. We know you watched "When Good Midgets Go Bad with Goats." We also know how long you watched it. Just confess and pay your damn bill. You only embarrass yourself when you say that you "accidently" ordered it. To "accidently" order it is nearly impossible. Maybe the accident was that it was the wrong fetish. Once again we won't compensate you for your own fuck up. Masturbatory or not.
7. Shut your fucking mouth. Sometimes a hotel policy is complicated and we need to explain it to you. Allow us to explain and keep your trap closed. Nothing gets solved by yelling and interrupting.
8. We can't build extra rooms out of duct tape and pillows if the hotel is sold out and you did't make a reservation. We also can't give you someone's guaranteed reservation. That's why its called "Guaranteed."
9. Don't leave personal items in the room when you leave. Just double check. We can't mail you the personal item you left in the bedside table. Unfortunately we throw the dildos and the pot away. (which might I add makes me very sad when my boss makes me flush a whole sack of weed down the toilet)
10. We can't make the high-speed internet download your porn any faster. We have no control on that.
User Reviews
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-09-04 20:25:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're in a service industry. You serve, capiche? I'm the paying customer. If I offer a complaint, I'm the one who gets listened to. You're the help. You're replaceable in less than a minute. If I have a problem with your hotel, you're at best left in a position of making excuses for poor service. Money has the voice where you work. Money walks in the front door, money doesn't work behind the counter. Now get me some more towels, bitch, and be quick about it.
Kidding. People suck, don't they?
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-04 19:54:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by RjFnC (user info) at 2007-09-04 19:29:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed it. Welcome!
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-09-04 18:59:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
An ok first post. Welcome.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-04 15:57:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i miss jaypeg
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-09-04 13:14:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to work at a shitty "inn and golf resort" in the Shawnee area of Pennsylvania, and let me tell you what a fucking nightmare the 3-11 shift is. Beyond awful, its hellacious at best.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:24:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I worked on the 11-7 midnight shift at a hotel while I was in college. I saw every crackhead, pimp, and ho coming through I-85. Since I worked on the night shift, and the customers I saw usually only used the room for a couple hours, after they'd left, I'd go check the room out myself for souvenirs. By the time I'd left I had scavenged around 3 ounces of pot (one large bag of high quality too!) I found several empty crack vials and meth baggies, used syringes, that sort of thing.
Best job I ever had, slept on the clock, smoked pot all night while watching HBO and occasionally doing term papers.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-04 07:16:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
...For what Jeannee said.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-09-03 21:30:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What kind of Communist flushes perfectly good weed down the commode? That is disgraceful.
I work in the service industry too, but I know better than to bitch about it on here. The vast majority of people on this site are master-of-the-universe types with big, important jobs and if they make one wrong decision, billions of people could die. They also make seven figures a year and wear midgets as shoes. Just ask them, they'll tell you - and they'll also fall all over themselves to remind you what a worthless peon you are.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-09-03 18:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wasn't a really decent rant. plus it pisses me off when people rant about their jobs in the service industry - you bring it on yourself. I got out of that bullshit job and now I don't have to deal with people, it's great.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-09-03 16:28:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have some great memories working in hotels and some shitty ones. The worst was weddings. Getting called out of the kitchen with the the head chef to be thanked for the wedding cake and stuff was nice and all, case of beer for the kitchen and what not. But they insist on doing it in the middle of service. I'm hot, stressed and frazzled by trying to keep section from going under for thier party and 150 guests and I have to go out all smiles for 15mins whilst they coo and ask silly questions.
I'm being an arse now, because it's much nicer than the people who leaved a £10 tip for the chef.
THERES 20 OF US BACK HERE.
Best tip we ever got was 2500 and a case of lovely scotch. Nice people.
I'm burbling. Sorry.
Submitted by lilybaby228 (user info) at 2007-09-03 12:53:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-09-03 12:45:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll behave, really.
Now give me my fucking key, you pothead!
Good list too.
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*cough cough* right away sir!
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-09-03 12:45:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll behave, really.
Now give me my fucking key, you pothead!
Good list too.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-03 10:53:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Heh...
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-09-03 08:57:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
8. We can't build extra rooms out of duct tape and pillows if the hotel is sold out
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hee hee
I hated working in hotels and the more expensive they are the shittier the "guests" treat you.
The Hilton was fucking hellish to work in, nouveaux riche scum infested the place like rats in a crack house.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-09-03 08:55:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-03 03:39:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey who else used to work in a hotel........Some of the first posts I ever read on this site, I want to say Merlina but she sits in the garden drinking tea.
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I believe that was Stin.
Submitted by Crudite (user info) at 2007-09-03 08:03:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Can I get a copy of that Good Midgets Bad Goats flick?
Submitted by lilybaby228 (user info) at 2007-09-03 07:04:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a great attitude towards my guests and I personally have never cancelled a reservation for one of our guests. However, I work the last shift so I catch the rest of the arrivals, and I get to deal with all of the fuck-ups from the day. Of course if I had cancelled your reservation then I would take the following steps.. a)find you a hotel room somewhere if we were sold out- charges billed to our hotel. b) paid for dinner at some place of your choosing- just bring me the receipt.
Submitted by lilybaby228 (user info) at 2007-09-03 06:57:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by RenTheUnsightly (user info) at 2007-09-03 06:15:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
blah blah, blah, "let me tell you this, and that" blah blah, "my job and life are unimportant but I'm gonna feel good by making a big deal out of the boring nuances of my day to day interactions with other boring people" I don't wanna be an ass, but there's too much of this internet-nerd anger. Smoke pot.
I do smoke pot.. alot. Besides that I didn't come on here to try to make anyone think that my life or my job were important. It was one of those Im really bored things.. you know.. The same reason that you logged on and rated this post. Internet-nerd anger??? Ha ha ha I like that.. its funny
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-09-03 06:24:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Holy shit this is your first post
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-03 06:18:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually reading some of this, your attitude stinks. If something you do cancels my stay in a hotel, I shoudlnt be upset?? That's fair enough so long as you do all you can to sort some compensation out.
Submitted by RenTheUnsightly (user info) at 2007-09-03 06:15:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
blah blah, blah, "let me tell you this, and that" blah blah, "my job and life are unimportant but I'm gonna feel good by making a big deal out of the boring nuances of my day to day interactions with other boring people" I don't wanna be an ass, but there's too much of this internet-nerd anger. Smoke pot.
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-09-03 04:55:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 coz im unbanned. But seriously crap post
Submitted by big_spliff_smoker (user info) at 2007-09-03 04:40:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Boring as hell.
Submitted by lilybaby228 (user info) at 2007-09-03 04:31:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-09-03 04:14:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
where i work we will offer a different room if something is wrong (ie noisy neighbors, heat not working right, etc...if i dont know about it i cant fix it... if you refuse to move or dont let us know about the problem in the first place, you're shit out of luck
most of the time i get shit like "there was a sound keeping me up all night starting at 3 am" im here all night asshole, you have a phone, dial "0" or jsut walk to the fucking desk
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No shit. I get so bored anyway at night. Hell I can use the company.. even if it is a complaint. However Friday and Saturday nights are entertaining between 2 and 4 a.m. because thats when i get all the drunks coming back from the bar. The best is when they run into the sliding glass doors and then get mad at the invisible guy that "hit" him.
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-09-03 04:14:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
forgot to rate
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-09-03 04:14:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
where i work we will offer a different room if something is wrong (ie noisy neighbors, heat not working right, etc...if i dont know about it i cant fix it... if you refuse to move or dont let us know about the problem in the first place, you're shit out of luck
most of the time i get shit like "there was a sound keeping me up all night starting at 3 am" im here all night asshole, you have a phone, dial "0" or jsut walk to the fucking desk
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-03 04:11:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For no.8 alone.
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-09-03 04:02:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There was no mint on my pillow, and I still enjoyed my stay at this post.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-03 03:40:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
2 because it reminded me of when I frist joined Uber . Tell stories next time, not just points.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-03 03:39:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey who else used to work in a hotel........Some of the first posts I ever read on this site, I want to say Merlina but she sits in the garden drinking tea.