Down and out in the south west of England (189 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.33 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Fabit (View user info) at 2007-09-03 17:31:19 EDT
It's been roughly two years since I have posted on Uber. That's for various reasons I won't discuss here because you don't care to hear about it and I don't care to talk about it.
In that time my life has gone from horribly mundane, to amazingly fantastic, to vicously depressing and now has petered out into a peculiar bimble. In short from indifferent, to good to much, much worse.
At such a young age (comparatively) I feel I have experience my fair share of highs and lows. Currently I'm desperately attempting to clamber out of a low.
To be honest it's one of the lower lows. I had everything, then in the blink of an eye I had less than nothing, and now I have a few bits and bobs that don't really fit together.
When I look back with my negative eyes in, I see my world torn to shreds. I see love disappear only to be found again with little to no meaning. I see the normal familiarity of friends and loved ones become nothing but a front to disguise the beguiling loneliness that is life. In short - everything sucks. It always has sucked, it does suck and it will continue to suck.
Now a lesser Uber would now move on to discuss the merits of Buddhism, and how to realise the suckage of life is to begin accepting ones place in afor mentioned suckage.
But not me. Oh no. For I have learned that life doesn't at all suck. Now this is all sounding rather irrational and pointless. Perhaps that is the point and I am a fan of misnomers? No.
For I have discovered this. The less you have going on, the better you will feel.
Now I hear you all screaming "Give us something tangible, give us something real!!!"
So context will be our next stop. 2 years ago, I was in a mediocre job. It was ok. Average pay, benefits and prospects. I landed (by fluke more than anything) my dream job. Excellent pay, benefits and prospects. Shortly afterwards, I purchased for myself a nice car. Shortly after that, I met the girl of my dreams. All good news. I was having a whale of a time.
About 6 months ago, I lost my job. It was my own fault. I split up with my girlfriend, that was a joint effort. Luckily my car is still here, though it's making some funny noises. I felt like shit. That somehow the universe had built me up just to knock me down. I felt like uber shit.
In the time since then, I have had to harden up a bit to keep afloat. I've been working jobs I've hated, for next to no money, I've been single since then, but mostly through my own choice. My social life has essentially ended to accommodate the new, somewhat smaller wage slip I receive. A lot of my friends have disappeared, along with the job and relationship.
But I feel better than ever. I thought the universe was being cruel. I thought it was picking on me. But I was wrong - again.
The universe had done me a bit of a favour. It had weeded my life in a major way.
With my new job I had become arrogant, proud and somewhat holier than thou.
My friends had become fashion accessories, and my religious life had ended almost completely. My relationship with my girlfriend had been wrong from the start, but I was too proud to admit it. To arrogant to admit that I was scared of being alone. Although professionally I was doing ok, in every other way I was stagnant.
The universe flushed me out. A big attitude detox.
Since I have had more time on my hands. I have rekindled my love of photography (plug http://www.flickr.com/photos/12538116@N03/) and I plan to pursue this as a new career avenue. I began to read again into philosophy, spirituality and and psychology.
And most of all, I began to look inwards again at how much of a tool I had become.
That's pretty fucking scary.
I know this might get flamed but no problems. It did me more good writing about it, than it will do you good slating it, which is a fair trade if you ask me.
User Reviews
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-09-03 18:06:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good luck with that. Unfortunately huge picture.
Submitted by BRKNDREAMZ (user info) at 2007-09-03 17:50:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
yessss
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-09-03 17:47:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i like doors myself
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-03 17:44:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For as ambiguous at it may be, this post was well worth reading. The noob-sized photo finishes it off nicely.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-09-03 17:43:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm stuck in Gloucester myself at the mo, is there something in the water here that makes me people stupid?
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2007-09-03 17:42:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I drew it under my microscope uaing a nats pube paintbrush.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-09-03 17:40:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Y HALO THAR MASSIVE PICTURE
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-09-03 17:38:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THAT PICTURE IS FAR TOO SMALL.