Down and Out in the Southwest of England (613 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.71 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Fabit (View user info) at 2007-09-03 17:53:06 EDT
It's been roughly two years since I have posted on Uber. That's for various reasons I won't discuss here because you don't care to hear about it and I don't care to talk about it.
In that time my life has gone from horribly mundane, to amazingly fantastic, to vicously depressing and now has petered out into a peculiar bimble. In short from indifferent, to good to much, much worse.
At such a young age (comparatively) I feel I have experience my fair share of highs and lows. Currently I'm desperately attempting to clamber out of a low.
To be honest it's one of the lower lows. I had everything, then in the blink of an eye I had less than nothing, and now I have a few bits and bobs that don't really fit together.
When I look back with my negative eyes in, I see my world torn to shreds. I see love disappear only to be found again with little to no meaning. I see the normal familiarity of friends and loved ones become nothing but a front to disguise the beguiling loneliness that is life. In short - everything sucks. It always has sucked, it does suck and it will continue to suck.
Now a lesser Uber would now move on to discuss the merits of Buddhism, and how to realise the suckage of life is to begin accepting ones place in afor mentioned suckage.
But not me. Oh no. For I have learned that life doesn't at all suck. Now this is all sounding rather irrational and pointless. Perhaps that is the point and I am a fan of misnomers? No.
For I have discovered this. The less you have going on, the better you will feel.
Now I hear you all screaming "Give us something tangible, give us something real!!!"
So context will be our next stop. 2 years ago, I was in a mediocre job. It was ok. Average pay, benefits and prospects. I landed (by fluke more than anything) my dream job. Excellent pay, benefits and prospects. Shortly afterwards, I purchased for myself a nice car. Shortly after that, I met the girl of my dreams. All good news. I was having a whale of a time.
About 6 months ago, I lost my job. It was my own fault. I split up with my girlfriend, that was a joint effort. Luckily my car is still here, though it's making some funny noises. I felt like shit. That somehow the universe had built me up just to knock me down. I felt like uber shit.
In the time since then, I have had to harden up a bit to keep afloat. I've been working jobs I've hated, for next to no money, I've been single since then, but mostly through my own choice. My social life has essentially ended to accommodate the new, somewhat smaller wage slip I receive. A lot of my friends have disappeared, along with the job and relationship.
But I feel better than ever. I thought the universe was being cruel. I thought it was picking on me. But I was wrong - again.
The universe had done me a bit of a favour. It had weeded my life in a major way.
With my new job I had become arrogant, proud and somewhat holier than thou.
My friends had become fashion accessories, and my religious life had ended almost completely. My relationship with my girlfriend had been wrong from the start, but I was too proud to admit it. To arrogant to admit that I was scared of being alone. Although professionally I was doing ok, in every other way I was stagnant.
The universe flushed me out. A big attitude detox.
Since I have had more time on my hands. I have rekindled my love of photography (plug http://www.flickr.com/photos/12538116@N03/) and I plan to pursue this as a new career avenue. I began to read again into philosophy, spirituality and and psychology.
And most of all, I began to look inwards again at how much of a tool I had become.
That's pretty fucking scary.
I know this might get flamed but no problems. It did me more good writing about it, than it will do you good slating it, which is a fair trade if you ask me.
User Reviews
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2007-09-18 11:12:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Will you text me, you daft bastard. My phone got stolen and I've got no numbers. Get in touch numbnuts.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-09-05 14:31:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Fabit!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-05 10:10:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
know the feelings expressed here.
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-09-04 20:04:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck Uniter.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-04 19:48:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-09-04 19:21:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I saw your name and thought I'd seen it before.
This post is on it's own level.
Dump that car, you know you want to, just do it and move on.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2007-09-04 16:32:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto Fabit +2.
This place drags you back in no matter how bad/good your life gets.
-Dave
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-04 15:25:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey...what ever happened to our Civil War?
I thought that piece had some real promise to it...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-04 12:51:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Remind me...Did I used to like you? I can't recall.
Submitted by Adereterial (user info) at 2007-09-04 12:38:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're... you're alive?!?!?
Good afternoon, Mr Fabit sir.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:02:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2007-09-04 07:34:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FABIT!!!! You're alive!
I'd ask how you're doing but considering the post right above this it seems a little redundant. Good to hear from you matey.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-04 05:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-09-04 10:15:40 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-04 03:07:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahhh, Bristol here! Im tired, have red eye and am at work.
~~~~~
I'm working from home again today. Just starting the refurbishment of Kings Cross station. Then tonight!!! I'll be studying my nexy assignment of Quantum Physics.. *sigh*
-----
Merlina, im doing statistics on the amout of sport related planning appeals there were last month and I have forgotten how to concatenate. No sighing allowed, Smile and be happy and don't worry about what other people tell you, its what you believe that counts.
Go Go Go!
Submitted by kirst-n-dennis (user info) at 2007-09-04 05:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice philosophy
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-09-04 05:15:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-04 03:07:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahhh, Bristol here! Im tired, have red eye and am at work.
~~~~~
I'm working from home again today. Just starting the refurbishment of Kings Cross station. Then tonight!!! I'll be studying my nexy assignment of Quantum Physics.. *sigh*
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-04 03:07:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahhh, Bristol here! Im tired, have red eye and am at work.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2007-09-04 02:26:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-09-03 19:52:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
congrats you are the only non-muslim Brit left that is arsed about religion.
good to see you around.
since we last interacted i moved to seppo land and am marrying a seppo. most odd.
--------------
You're marrying one? I can only imagine what a half scouse half yank baby would be like.
Congratulations mate!
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2007-09-04 02:22:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Merlina - I will email you!
Jamowilly - I go knocked off my road bike. So no. Motorcycling now :o)
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-09-04 02:00:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-09-04 01:57:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2007-09-03 17:07:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Merlina, where are you living now? Spiffing garden!!
I miss you all so much :o(
~~~~~~
Place called Bushwood, near Wanstead, just on the edge of Epping Forest. Its beautiful.
Come visit - we have two lovely guest rooms..
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-09-03 20:52:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Still cycling?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-09-03 20:11:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-09-03 19:52:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
congrats you are the only non-muslim Brit left that is arsed about religion.
--
*laughs hysterically*
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-09-03 19:52:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
congrats you are the only non-muslim Brit left that is arsed about religion.
good to see you around.
since we last interacted i moved to seppo land and am marrying a seppo. most odd.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-09-03 18:22:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
could be worse, at least you aren't addicted to drugs.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-09-03 18:14:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gloucester still blows some serious donkey dick
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-03 17:56:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It looked like it might have been very cool, just needed a resize- 800 px wide max.
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2007-09-03 17:53:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Noob photo indeed.