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UGR: Lips like Morphine (688 hits)

Category: None

Rating: 1.26 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by drogoroch (View user info) at 2007-09-04 10:43:57 EDT


"Psst. Can I tell you a secret?

Go on. Just one little secret and I'll be on my way."

--

I can tell you down to the actual minute when I first experienced my power. Yeah right down to the first fucking minute.

July 26th 1987. 16:32hrs. that's when my life changed forever, and not for the better either. Lisa was a good girl, it was a shame she died that day it really was, I just hadn't learnt to control it back then.

When you think of super heroes you probably don't get an instant image of me in your mind. I can tell by your face that I'm right. The image before you doesn't strike you as the hero type, but I am I promise.

I reckon when I mention super hero you think of guys like Superman, Spiderman, Wonder woman and shit like that. Not me though. Those guys are all in your face super powered types.

It sucks when your power is like mine.

When I realised my power I initially thought "Shit! What the fuck do I do?"

Then after the brief first shock I thought "Cool, power I can be a hero."

A little after that I came back down to earth, no I don't fly that would be too fucking useful, I mean that metaphorically. I will re phrase it. When I came to my senses properly I thought "Fuck, what the fuck is the point of this fucking power? What the mother fucking crap am I supposed to DO with this bloody power?

You see my power kind of sucks. Don't be impatient I will come to it in a moment.

My power is pretty hard to use in any efficient way, that's why it sucks. It isn't flying, as I said earlier. It isn't fucking laser beams out of my eyes, Christ I would rather laser beams out my ass than what I got.

The problem with my power is that it's doesn't have a marketable aspect to it. I approached the Super heroes' leagues and they just didn't see it as 'Super' enough for them. This of course made me slightly pissed off, so I tried the 'Super Villain' council, they live across the street in the place marked 'Secret Evil Hangout' under the view that the best hiding place is in plain sight, obviously it works. They didn't want me either they thought my power just wasn't 'potent' enough.

So you see how I have a slight issue with my power. The good guys think I'm lame and the bad guys think I'm impotent. Its soul destroying when all you want to do is use your gift but keep getting pushed away.

So I've come up with a little idea. I'm not going to be part of any organised group I'm going to go out on my own and do what I want to.

Anyway I ramble a lot these days. What you want to know is what my power is don't you?

Well come here and give me a kiss and you'll see.

--

"The police have issued a plea for witnesses following the discovery of a third female body at the Green in Exeter. Police would not confirm if this was another suspected drug overdose."


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User Reviews


Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-06 23:48:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Have company, deadline's near- will comment in detail later <3 -lishy

Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-09-05 18:54:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Well...What the fuckin A?!?!?!

Drogo, I'm supposed to like what you right, Stop getting so personal, it doesn't suit you.

How goes it kitten?

Submitted by Nyrea (user info) at 2007-09-05 12:19:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1

No Comment

Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-09-05 12:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

No Comment

Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-09-05 09:27:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

No Comment

Submitted by odin (user info) at 2007-09-05 03:46:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2



Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-09-04 22:08:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1

Run out of time, mate?

Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-04 20:43:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1


Lots of punctuation errors and some weird inconsistencies.

I dunno...



Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-09-04 20:02:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Fuck Uniter.

Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-04 19:41:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1



Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-04 19:32:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

ooooff.

Great concept, needs to be expanded. I think the other entry was better written - well, more complete at the least.


but you should take this and blow it out into a series.

Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2007-09-04 16:45:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Good story.

Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-04 16:25:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

though I could see this being further developed I liked it quite a bit.

Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-09-04 15:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

does what it says on the box

Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-04 15:28:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

well, at least you did better than the other guy

Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2007-09-04 15:19:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2007-09-04 14:31:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Meh.

Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-04 12:12:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:35:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

nice

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:18:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Annnnd I'm spent.

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:18:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

+1.5. No need for me to repeat the comments below...I think this could make for a good series, potentially.

Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:15:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Screw EI!
Him an HBTS are an item now, anyway.
I need me some Hawt Man-luv.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:14:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Thats me!! ok home time now, so you two kids behave!


hmmmmmmmm *eyeballs CJ*

Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:12:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Well I would but Em kinda gets all possesive and stuff if he see's me talking to other men. I dont know why!!

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:11:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Dirty Little Perverts

Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:10:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Yup, been busy.
Should be around for a while though.

In the meantime, comm'ere. I got somfin ta show ya...

Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:08:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:05:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Awwww, Drogo's so cute when he gets all apologetic an' stuff.
--

Hehehehe

Where have you been Chaos? You been awol for a while.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:07:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Hey I have dibbs on Drogo!

Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:05:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Awwww, Drogo's so cute when he gets all apologetic an' stuff.

Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:03:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I heartily apologise for this diabolical entry but found time catching up with me at work and so rushed the first thing to come into my purile little mind.

Sub standard? Yep I'd say so, but thought I would throw something at the screen other than my Aplle.

Great title: Wasted.
Sorry, as my report always said "Must try harder"

Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-09-04 10:52:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Can't +2. I assume from the title that you're saying that you have lips made out of morphine, and you're going around kissing girls to death.... but you're a hero? Do heroes kill people like that? I mean, sure there's gonna be collateral damage when you're battling your arch nemesis in the middle of Times Square in rush hour traffic... I mean, let's be real... battling your foes in the middle of, say, a sheep pasture hardly leads the same sort of danger to the mix... but do heroes kill people?

Or are you one of those madmen who *thinks* he's a hero but is really just a crazyperson that's going around making matters worse?

This was a good title.... it could have been better.

Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2007-09-04 10:49:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I liked the ending. And the visual image of lasers erupting from some guy's ass.

Well, maybe not that last part after all.

Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-04 10:48:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Dude, you can do better.
Still, 'laser beam out of my ass' made me laugh.
+1 for that.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-04 10:47:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Oh Mr Smoothie, what are you babbling about!!

Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-09-04 10:46:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Odd - it started kind of evil, then switched to comic, then back to evil.
Good anyway.

Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-09-04 10:44:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Umm?????????????????? Okay I'll get my coat.


Homer: I want everyone to know that this is Ned Flanders ... my
friend!

Lenny: What'd he say?

Carl: I dunno. Somethin' about being gay.

Homer Loves Flanders