Time Flies: Worries and What Nots (630 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.97 on 51 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ShapeShifter (View user info) at 2007-09-04 10:44:29 EDT
When I found out the bumps on my penis were not venereal or sexually related, I was relieved beyond all comparison to ever hear such godly news. I was nervous, not going to the clinic, but opting to go to my PCP and explain to him that I have bumps that started on my legs and gradually moved to my cock tip. I was elated to find out that I had an allergic reaction to my laundry detergent. I was upset, however, because I was coming down with a cold, would now have to take steroids, starve my body of alcohol, and subsequently miss a weekend at my buddy's cottage fishing and drinking because of the aforementioned. I would deal.
As such, my labor day consisted of bicycling, albeit healthy, a terrible way to reintroduce your self into physical fitness, especially after a rigorous 10 mile mountain biking exploratory. I saw much more of my quaint village than I intended but I also saw some blue crystal waters from abandoned slate quarries. It was beautiful, but lacked the excitement of seeing my best friends and enjoying merriment from all.
I got an email this morning from my best friend of ~10 years.
Verbatim:
Yo man, sorry you couldn't make it down to the cottage this weekend. You missed Uncle Buck (one of the folks at the cottage) in rare form... Plus the usual shenanigans. I hope that you're feeling ok, you rarely miss outings like this so I understand you probably felt like ass.
I wanted to tell you in person, but I guess email will do... Jamus (his girlfriend, Jamie, who've shared the past 2-3 years...who's counting) and I are engaged now (gulp) and I was going to ask you to be part of the wedding. It's you, Jon boy, and ARR-AK. It's not until the end of next May, but I wanted you to hear it from me first.
Holla back negroid - hope you're feeling better.
Now, I was the one to call this a little over a year ago when we went to a wedding for my old roommate and his shared girlfriend of 10+ years. It's quite different joking about it and actually having it happen, so much to the point where I feel that I'm still in shock.
Just yesterday, it seems that he and I were swapping girls, smoking pot, boozing until puking, boozing until blacking out, and the general sophomoric behavior that everyone, hopefully, outgrows. Neither of us smoke pot anymore regularly, me on occasion, we occasionally have bouts of problem drinking but I'm left to wonder what have I done that has had time pass me by.
It is factual that I've had my fair share of women and opportunity to fall in love, and have twice, but have I set my bar too high that has allowed me to slip a possible opportunity. Sure, this is all hypothetical but with the news of my peers getting hitched, having kids, and starting families I'm left to feel as though I may be missing the boat. Perhaps, I'm just a self indulgent bastard who doesn't deserve anything better at this junction, but what exactly is the appropriate time to start thinking about spreading my seed within the sacred and sanctimonious confines of a loving marriage?
I still think I'm young and I enjoy playing the field but it's almost as though if I don't settle down now I may miss an opportunity. Herein lies the problem. In my hastiness I may settle for second best when Mrs. Opportunity is still out there. I think I'll stew on this one for a while and no matter how naive this sounds I'm sure I can count on 1 out of 10 of you to give an honest answer. Here was my response to my friend.
Verbatim:
bwahahahahahahaaha,hahahahahahah,awhahahwhwhawhaahahhaha, I FUCKING CALLED IT! CONGRATS! SEE YOU NEVER NOW! BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, collar, Bwahahahahahah ahahahaha leash! In all seriousness, congratulations dude. You two deserve each other and all the happy nuances that you bring to each other. Other than Chris and Bethe, who are already planked and slated to imminent doom, I can't think of two other people that could be perfectly suited for each other. Your ingenuous and effervescent personality mixed with her kind and caring demeanor would make rainbows pale in comparison to the love you two share. With all my will to keep you on this end of monogamy, may the best be to both of you. Extend my condolences to the loss of Willie (his name), however :)
I love you dude...and there better be some hot fucking ass at this wedding, so help my STD free tip. Turns out that I had an allergic reaction...hence the steroids. Sorry I missed this past weekend but we'll do it soon.
What's the verdict?
And does this dude creep anyone out besides me?
User Reviews
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2007-09-05 03:47:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you are always looking for something better you are always gonna find it, or course that would mean that no one should settle for you either...
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-04 23:26:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thorns is right.
but it gets trickier as you get older... fewer and fewer options.
for instance, I've always held that core beliefs have to be shared, but I haven't ever found anyone else who thinks I'm the best thing to hit this earth.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-09-04 21:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good news about your penis - mazel tov.
Don't rush into settling down. I don't know exactly how old you are, but all signs point to you being very young. Have fun, get to know yourself, and the right person will come along eventually. Marriage is not for everyone, and if I may generalize - when people get married young, it seldom lasts.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-09-04 20:04:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
24 and thoughts like these....
When it comes to love try to cut back a bit on the thinking-it-over part and try to enjoy the ride.
What you wrote to your buddy about his relation should apply to your own some day.
And we don't mind that you're gay.
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-09-04 20:02:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck Uniter.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-04 19:41:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-09-04 19:26:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't stand that weird guy either. When those commercials come on I just change the channel and vow never to buy his product.
Don't rush yourself into marriage, but maybe get to know more women who are suitable.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-09-04 18:48:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-04 16:31:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So...metaphorically I should try for a triple, getting in 3 RBIs, but getting a homerun can turn into a grand slam?
===========================
haha something like that. If you feel the homerun coming on stick with it, dont look for the safe base hit, work at it and turn that homerun into a grand slam. Or something.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-09-04 17:19:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked the first 15 words. then it got kinda generic.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-09-04 16:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
JonnyX : been done, here, and everywhere else
ShapeShifter : Kind of like posting lingerie and the originality behind it, right?
---
Yup, it's official. You are likable.
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-04 16:32:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And what about the sac fly?
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-04 16:31:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So...metaphorically I should try for a triple, getting in 3 RBIs, but getting a homerun can turn into a grand slam?
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-09-04 16:29:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay, now that we have cleared up(nice pun) the similarity between STI/STD and that I have a very underdeveloped writing style, any honest opinion about the topic at hand?
=============================
Dude, if you're perpetually thinking that theres always gonna be someone better, you will never be able to find someone at all. Theres no such thing as a perfect person for you, EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE has to WORK at relationships to make them work. So I guess I'm saying, dont swing for the fences on just any pitch, but keep your eye on the ball, and work towards your goal with the person your with. If after working you aren't happy then you should move on. But always looking for someone better will never get you anywhere.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-04 16:09:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-04 15:55:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kind of like posting lingerie and the originality behind it, right?
--------------
Ahahahahahahahaha
You just may be my favourite new Ubernaut.
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-04 15:55:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kind of like posting lingerie and the originality behind it, right?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-04 15:15:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
been done, here, and everywhere else
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-09-04 14:26:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Creepy yet rather enjoyable.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-04 14:05:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and just to be a bigger asshole I will now rate you instead of the post!!! hahahhahahahahahahaha
incidently I don't necessarily find that guy creepy so much as just fucking wierd.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA +1
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-04 13:59:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-04 10:55:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What HBTS said...
ouch, STI-pwned (me, that is---once upon a time).
Anyway, your writing style is a bit immature and hard to follow.
Still, I think you could be a lot better if you proofread a little more.
Oh, and one more thing...
DO NOT POST ON UBERSITE ABOUT YOUR LUMPY GAWDAMN COCK!
...
Have a nice day.
that said..... marriage is a lot of work and is not designed to last anymore. society almost expects you to fail at it at least once and in some ways encourages you to. here's the thing.... it takes two to GET married. It takes two to STAY married. it only takes one to end it all and they don't really have to provide any sort of reason in order to do it.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:49:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you think there's baggage in your mid-twenties, just wait until you're in your thirties. :)
In some regards, though, baggage can work to your advantage. People with baggage are generally older, (hopefully) a little wiser, and don't want to waste time playing the games that the young ones do. It's all just a matter of what type of baggage you're willing to cope with in a mate, and to what degree.
And that just gave me a great idea for a song...
*rushes off*
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:42:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's okay, Captain, this was some of the honesty that I was hoping for and I just find it extremely interesting to see what does and what doesn't work for some people. Going back to that example, I didn't have to have a mate that believed in everything as me, however, she couldn't learn to cope for whatever reasons. I don't hold that against her, and if her faith is that strong, so be it.
I agree with the respect/compromise thing but that almost goes without saying. Couples that don't have either one of those traits or abilities are doomed to failure I would think. What I'm trying to figure out is how much I should sacrifice in fear of being left out or if I still have time on my side. I'm 24, but like I said the walls are slowly closing in around me. Even now, I find it hard to find women my age that don't have baggage (kids, ex's, etc.).
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:35:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I forgot to mention it in my rambling below, but you can probably read it between the lines anyway: compromise and respect - i.e. accepting someone for who they are - are the foundations of a successful marriage, IMHO. Or any meaningful relationship, for that matter. The respect has to come first though; without respect, there is no desire for compromise, and in that case, you'd be better off by yourself than with another.
Okay, I'll let the psychologist in me shut up now. ^_^
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:35:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine
-------------------------------------
Hahaha.
Also, yes, that guy scares the fuck out of me.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:31:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:21:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:16:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't rush it, and don't settle on someone that doesn't agree with you on core ethics/beliefs - you'll save yourself (and said spousal candidate) a lot of future trouble that way. You owe it to yourself and the other person to be completely honest about who you are and what you want.
-----
This is an interesting concept because one of the girls that I could have made it work with was a devout, bible thumping Christian. I never wanted to change her but she always wanted to convert me. I've had it the other way with a lass as well. I feel as though because we have such drastic and radical differences we would be ideal for each other in that we'd always have something to talk about without sacrificing love.
Maybe this doesn't make sense, but it does have a tinge of truth to it, no?
==================
Yes, it does. Speaking from my experience...I've been married for over six years now, and the missus and I wasted a lot of time trying to change each other during the first five and a half years of marriage. She's the devout hardcore evangelical Christian - me, I'm wayyyy more laidback and free-thinking - and that's made for some interesting arguments and conversations.
Through it all, though, the glue that has held us together are the interests and beliefs that we DO have in common, and most importantly the ability to make each other laugh, especially in times of duress. Find me a person that says they're happy being with someone long-term with whom they have absolutely nothing in common, and I'll say you've found either a liar or someone in major denial. (Emphasis being on the long-term, of course. Everybody likes the spice and excitement of change in the short run, I believe.)
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:21:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:16:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't rush it, and don't settle on someone that doesn't agree with you on core ethics/beliefs - you'll save yourself (and said spousal candidate) a lot of future trouble that way. You owe it to yourself and the other person to be completely honest about who you are and what you want.
-----
This is an interesting concept because one of the girls that I could have made it work with was a devout, bible thumping Christian. I never wanted to change her but she always wanted to convert me. I've had it the other way with a lass as well. I feel as though because we have such drastic and radical differences we would be ideal for each other in that we'd always have something to talk about without sacrificing love.
Maybe this doesn't make sense, but it does have a tinge of truth to it, no?
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:20:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-04 16:16:20 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-09-04 16:11:49 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-04 16:10:02 BST (#)
Ranking: -1
A sexually transmitted disease is a sexually transmitted infection that has developed symptoms
======
and therefore warrant the use of different terms QED
==========
Oh my god you pair are such faggots. All I know is that it burns when you pee and you get an itchy cock. Whether to end the acronym in a 'D' or an 'I' is a fucking irrelevance.
==========
It's ok not everyone was blessed with brains and beauty, you should know that from experience. You are one of the unlucky people which didn't get either
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:18:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:16:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-09-04 16:11:49 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-04 16:10:02 BST (#)
Ranking: -1
A sexually transmitted disease is a sexually transmitted infection that has developed symptoms
======
and therefore warrant the use of different terms QED
==========
Oh my god you pair are such faggots. All I know is that it burns when you pee and you get an itchy cock. Whether to end the acronym in a 'D' or an 'I' is a fucking irrelevance.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:16:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't rush it, and don't settle on someone that doesn't agree with you on core ethics/beliefs - you'll save yourself (and said spousal candidate) a lot of future trouble that way. You owe it to yourself and the other person to be completely honest about who you are and what you want.
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:15:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess spelling is too...hahaha
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:13:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thats irrelivant
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:12:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't have and STI or STD...
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:11:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-04 16:10:02 BST (#)
Ranking: -1
A sexually transmitted disease is a sexually transmitted infection that has developed symptoms
======
and therefore warrant the use of different terms QED
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:10:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
A sexually transmitted disease is a sexually transmitted infection that has developed symptoms
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:09:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-04 16:07:42 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-09-04 16:04:06 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
STI and STD are pretty much interchangeable
=========
No infanct they are different terms for different conditions.
A disease (STD) is not comparable to an infection (STI)
==========
Oh fuck off. I'm going to -2 the shit out of you for this pompous rubbish.
-=======-
dont hate my intelligence
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:07:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-09-04 16:04:06 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
STI and STD are pretty much interchangeable
=========
No infanct they are different terms for different conditions.
A disease (STD) is not comparable to an infection (STI)
==========
Oh fuck off. I'm going to -2 the shit out of you for this pompous rubbish.
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:06:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*typo below* in fact
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:04:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
STI and STD are pretty much interchangeable
=========
No infanct they are different terms for different conditions.
A disease (STD) is not comparable to an infection (STI)
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:01:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-04 16:01:02 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay, now that we have cleared up(nice pun) the similarity between STI/STD and that I have a very underdeveloped writing style, any honest opinion about the topic at hand?
======================
No.
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-04 11:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay, now that we have cleared up(nice pun) the similarity between STI/STD and that I have a very underdeveloped writing style, any honest opinion about the topic at hand?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-04 10:59:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-04 15:56:01 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha below. I thought you made a mistake, and if you did, that's a very clever and funny cover up. I'm going to assume that your side of the pond has STI whereas stateside has a STD. Or did you truly slip?
===============
STI and STD are pretty much interchangeable.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-04 10:58:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-04 10:56:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That was directed towards Hurtbythesun.
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-04 10:56:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha below. I thought you made a mistake, and if you did, that's a very clever and funny cover up. I'm going to assume that your side of the pond has STI whereas stateside has a STD. Or did you truly slip?
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-04 10:55:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Forgot to rate...
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-04 10:55:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What HBTS said...
ouch, STI-pwned (me, that is---once upon a time).
Anyway, your writing style is a bit immature and hard to follow.
Still, I think you could be a lot better if you proofread a little more.
Oh, and one more thing...
DO NOT POST ON UBERSITE ABOUT YOUR LUMPY GAWDAMN COCK!
...
Have a nice day.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-04 10:49:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What the hell? You don't know what an STI is? Sexually Transmitted Infection dude.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-04 10:49:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-04 15:47:53 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's tough to get an STI period.
============
Not really.
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-09-04 10:48:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ramblings of a cock-addicted psychopath.
Marriage is a overhyped institution and it belongs in the same trash can as the Holy Bible.
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-04 10:47:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's tough to get an STI period.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-04 10:47:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It's tough to get an STI as a virgin.