PapaShandy’s Child Rearing Tips. Lesson 1: Swearing. (822 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.74 on 43 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by PapaShandy (View user info) at 2007-09-05 01:46:00 EDT
Hi Young Parents!
Havcing recently beren awareded dad of the year at the australia day honours ceremenoy (presented to me by ian healey) I now feel qualified to share my wisdom on childraising with the ubersite bupleic. So I'm starting this new papashandy series of child raising tips.
Lesson 1: Swearing
Children are generally prohibited from swearing by their parents and teachers and other adults. Many of these adults, however, swear themselves.
But, as a parent, if our child swears, many of feel embarrassed and worry that we will be seen as bad parents.
Papa Shandy's approach to this problem has been simple, and, thus far, successful:
When alone with me, my son is permitted to swear as much as he likes. I enjoy swearing and it provides a shared amusement and pleasure, and a communication tool, for us. For example, when young Isaac practises the piano, and he does a particularly good job on a tune he is learning, the highest praise I can bestow on his performance is "Fucking Excellent". If I merely say "Excellent" he is a bit disappointed.
My son is permitted to also swear in the company of certain friends and relatives - ie those who enjoy it and enjoy swearing themselves. (And who do not see me as a negligent father for taking this unorthodox approach.)
I do believe though, at this time, that my unorthodox approach is actually very sensible: it bascially teaches the boy mature, adult swearing ettiquette: he knows in what circumstances he should NOT swear (such as school, with the christian neighbours, with certain other friends and families) and in what circumstances he can.
His mother, Satan, is a grey area. She will get very angry about his swearing at times - and he is technically not supposed to swear in front of her - but she also seems partly amused. And she swears herself sometimes when she is angry. And I have explained my policy to her.
She claims Isaac (aged 7)cried out "you fucking idiot" in his sleep, but I'm not sure if that is true.
DISCRRARED NOTES FOR THIS POST:
I personally enjoy swearing in the right context. It's relaxing. It's fun! And, despite the wowser's refrain that relying on swear words stifles vocavularbly and creaetivielty, it actulaly in fact increases creativity. Enljoyble sweaering is an artr form in itself. Undoubtely. Unquestrionablly. No doubt about it. YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT.
User Reviews
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-09-09 17:53:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-09-05 23:50:26 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
spelling is not important, nor capitalisation. sentence construction is, as is punctuation as these regulate the manner in which your writing is physically read by your reader. if this is not adequate, then your article or whatever will be difficult to read and accordingly make the experience of reading less enjoyable, which in turn means less people are likely to finish reading your article.
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True to an extent, but if I have to keep asking myself, "wait, what is he trying to say? Oh, typo, right", then I'm going to quickly grow bored with the post.
Luckily for shandy, he appears not to give a shit. Which is probably exactly how he should feel.
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-09-07 04:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good stuff
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-09-06 19:41:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wholeheartedly agree with this approach.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-09-06 10:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i just stopped by to salute you a hello and to officially start the rugby banter.
except I hold no hope whatsoever for England.
:(
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2007-09-06 10:02:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was imperfect.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-09-06 06:52:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-09-06 02:50:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
spelling is not important, nor capitalisation. sentence construction is, as is punctuation as these regulate the manner in which your writing is physically read by your reader. if this is not adequate, then your article or whatever will be difficult to read and accordingly make the experience of reading less enjoyable, which in turn means less people are likely to finish reading your article.
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well put
if some of these morons had criticised my overuse of commas in this post, i would have admitted they were on the right track
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-09-06 02:50:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
spelling is not important, nor capitalisation. sentence construction is, as is punctuation as these regulate the manner in which your writing is physically read by your reader. if this is not adequate, then your article or whatever will be difficult to read and accordingly make the experience of reading less enjoyable, which in turn means less people are likely to finish reading your article.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-09-06 00:51:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-09-05 22:54:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Not taking 30 seconds to run your work through spell check at the very least = lack of respect for your audience. Some of us are distracted by it.
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also, how in god's name would you expect me to have any respect for this 'audience'??????
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-09-06 00:08:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
in my case, the unconventionally spelled words is part of the extra added artistic package that you get for free in addition to the wisdom of the content
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-09-05 22:54:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Not taking 30 seconds to run your work through spell check at the very least = lack of respect for your audience. Some of us are distracted by it.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-09-05 19:55:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ubmitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-09-05 19:27:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-09-05 18:25:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and SERIOUSLY, why in fuck's name is spelling supposed to be so important?
even my absurdly typed gibber is bascially complrehensible
the odd spelling mistake hear and their is not going to effect complrehenstion is it?
i have it on good authority that shakespeaere was a very poor speller - his transcripts are full of errors, even for that period when people were less anally obsessed dwith spelling
the whole spelling thing reminds me of cunts i have been involved with producing government publications. they are obsessed about following to the last semi-colan and font-size the Corporate Style Guide, but actually don't give a fuck about the CONTENT - ie the quality of ideas, how comprehensible they are, etc.
i'm not making this up.
so the spelling nazis and the apostraphe nazis (ooh, i just can't stand it when people use its and it's incorrectly) are actually, in my view, the ENEMIES OF GOOD ENGLISH, if we assume that the main point of language is to communicate (rather than to confer status due to technical ability with it)
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According to the history channel, Shakespeare may not have even written his own works. So yes, he probobly was a bad spellar.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-09-05 19:27:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-09-05 18:25:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and SERIOUSLY, why in fuck's name is spelling supposed to be so important?
even my absurdly typed gibber is bascially complrehensible
the odd spelling mistake hear and their is not going to effect complrehenstion is it?
i have it on good authority that shakespeaere was a very poor speller - his transcripts are full of errors, even for that period when people were less anally obsessed dwith spelling
the whole spelling thing reminds me of cunts i have been involved with producing government publications. they are obsessed about following to the last semi-colan and font-size the Corporate Style Guide, but actually don't give a fuck about the CONTENT - ie the quality of ideas, how comprehensible they are, etc.
i'm not making this up.
so the spelling nazis and the apostraphe nazis (ooh, i just can't stand it when people use its and it's incorrectly) are actually, in my view, the ENEMIES OF GOOD ENGLISH, if we assume that the main point of language is to communicate (rather than to confer status due to technical ability with it)
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-09-05 19:13:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
sp
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-09-05 18:25:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and SERIOUSLY, why in fuck's name is spelling supposed to be so important?
even my absurdly typed gibber is bascially complrehensible
the odd spelling mistake hear and their is not going to effect complrehenstion is it?
i have it on good authority that shakespeaere was a very poor speller - his transcripts are full of errors, even for that period when people were less anally obsessed dwith spelling
the whole spelling thing reminds me of cunts i have been involved with producing government publications. they are obsessed about following to the last semi-colan and font-size the Corporate Style Guide, but actually don't give a fuck about the CONTENT - ie the quality of ideas, how comprehensible they are, etc.
i'm not making this up.
so the spelling nazis and the apostraphe nazis (ooh, i just can't stand it when people use its and it's incorrectly) are actually, in my view, the ENEMIES OF GOOD ENGLISH, if we assume that the main point of language is to communicate (rather than to confer status due to technical ability with it)
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-05 17:45:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-09-05 09:43:23 PDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well done on reinforcing the world's view of Australians
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-05 14:47:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-09-05 14:29:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Someone needs to write me a list of what is swearing and what isn't.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-09-05 13:21:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-09-05 02:27:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-09-05 01:58:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's far more important to teach children to properly spell (and type) the written form of their native language.
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holy fuck, if rob_berg tips the scale toward the negative then I think my assessment that this was shit is correct. Have rob's -1 + -1 to grow on.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2007-09-05 13:09:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I'd only discvered this method before I cut their tongues out.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-09-05 12:43:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well done on reinforcing the world's view of Australians
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2007-09-05 12:25:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-09-05 10:57:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My most recent post is ala shandy... Totally undeveloped brilliant idea.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-09-05 10:39:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-09-05 10:28:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it's gosh darn great.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-09-05 09:50:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i think this is a fucking excellent approach.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-09-05 09:43:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree with your approach.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-09-05 09:28:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
splendid.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-09-05 08:50:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Most kids are either full-fledged or occasional swearers who know when and when not to swear by the time they are 11 or 12 anyway. At least, that's been my experience.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-05 08:36:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This is an excellent tip.
You are well on your way to rearing a future Shlongy.
That sounds gay.
Submitted by Natures_Biggest_Mistake (user info) at 2007-09-05 08:23:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
On a completely different note...
WHO READ ABOUT THE VAMPIRE DOGS IN TEXAS? Sucking blood, and leaving the lifeless bodies of farmyard animals intact... that is so cerazy.
Submitted by Surgeon (user info) at 2007-09-05 08:06:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
stitched..
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-09-05 05:38:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I had a lot of influence on my younger brother whilst he was growing up and I permitted him to swear around me, but if he swore in front of a girl/lady/mother I would give him a quick, sharp, smack on the back of his head.
He's now studying Medical Laboratory Science.
Can't have been too harmful...
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-05 05:26:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shandy, take a step back, he's not worth it.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-09-05 05:06:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-09-05 03:59:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Havcing recently beren awareded dad of the year at the australia day honours ceremenoy (presented to me by ian healey) I now feel qualified to share my wisdom on childraising with the ubersite bupleic.
7 mistakes in the first sentence
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BARBARIAN
I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO UNDERSANT THE ARTICTSTIC GENIKUS OF MY WORK - FEW DO - BUT IT SICKENS ME THAT MY IMPORTANT MESSAGE RE CHILDRAISING IS LOST ON YOUR KIND
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-09-05 03:59:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Havcing recently beren awareded dad of the year at the australia day honours ceremenoy (presented to me by ian healey) I now feel qualified to share my wisdom on childraising with the ubersite bupleic.
7 mistakes in the first sentence
Submitted by odin (user info) at 2007-09-05 03:52:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-09-05 01:58:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's far more important to teach children to properly spell the written form of their native language.
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Swearing is the native language in Aust.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-09-05 02:56:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
First Bush invades my home turf, then he takes my pals, then he makes fun
of the way I talk -- probably -- now he steals my right to raise a
disobedient, smart-alecky son! Well, that's it!
-- Homer Simpson
Two Bad Neighbors
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-09-05 02:40:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
IN FACT, IN MANY WAYS MY SENSITIVE APPROACH TO SWEARING HAS BEEN A BIG PART OF MY SUCCESS
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-09-05 02:39:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-09-05 01:58:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's far more important to teach children to properly spell the written form of their native language.
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rubbish!
morons!
I'M A VERY RICH AND SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSMAN WITH A SPECIAL EXPENSIVE MOBILE PHONE AND EVERYTING AND I CAN'T SPELL
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-09-05 02:27:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-09-05 01:58:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's far more important to teach children to properly spell (and type) the written form of their native language.
Submitted by rycke (user info) at 2007-09-05 02:15:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The rating doesn't need any further explanation! Good luck buddy!
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-09-05 02:08:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Four reasons to -2 this post:
1. "Havcing"
2. "Beren"
3. "Awareded"
4. You're Australian
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-09-05 01:58:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's far more important to teach children to properly spell the written form of their native language.