Working Graveyard at the Denny's (719 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.85 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by QuinnTheEskimo (View user info) at 2007-09-06 20:48:23 EDT
Every morning I can hear my neighbor vomiting. Every morning around four forty-five or so, my roommate's girlfriend wakes me up with the noises she makes getting ready. After I wake up I wait for her to leave, listening for the sound of the door closing. After that, it's only a few minutes before I hear the terrible wretches and plunking noise that only puke hitting toilet water can make.
Today, however, was different. I was still awake at two in the morning from the night before. I decided I was getting no sleep today, so I put on a pair of shoes and a coat, grabbed thirteen dollars from the top of my dresser, and walked to Denny's to kill some time.
So I sat at the diner at two-thirty or so, sipping on bitter coffee and doodling Abe Lincoln on a napkin, trying to come up with crafty ways to flirt with the waitress. Crappy country music played in the background, someone crooning in a terrible accent about how he was going to have a supper from a sack and a ninety-nine cent heart attack.
After a while I grew tired of trying to hit on the waitress, who was obviously too tired and frazzled to flirt. I tried to imagine reasons why my neighbor vomited so much. Some terrible internal illness? A bad case of nerves? What could have a man so worked up that he needed to vomit every morning, without fail?
"Hey," It was the pretty waitress. I glanced up from my doodles and tried to discreetly cover them up. "Want a screw up?"
I furrowed my brow. I had only caught the last few words and at first wondered if she was hitting on me. I asked her to repeat herself.
"A screw up. Want it?"
Again, I had no idea what she was talking about, but I nodded my head, hoping that maybe it was some alcoholic beverage. There is no better way to start a day than with a little bit of booze. I found out what a screw up was when she brought me an omelet, burned a little bit.
"The guy didn't want it because it was burnt." The pretty waitress explained.
I nodded. "I like my omelets like I like my metal: Black."
She smiled politely, then walked away. I picked at the food, gulped down the coffee and doodled more Lincolns on my napkin. I looked up when the door was opened by a clean-looking man with a big but neat beard, carrying a stuffed animal in the shape of a dog with a red bow.
I only gave him a cursory glance. I've met people that looked stranger. When the waitress asked if he wanted to be seated, he told her he wasn't staying. He explained that he'd just had a "streak of wonderful luck" at a twenty-four hour casino down the street, and had quadrupled his money. Along with the cash the casino had, he said, given him the stuffed dog. "I'm not hitting on you or anything," The man said to the pretty waitress, "I just figured there was a young lady here that could appreciate something like this more than an old veteran like myself."
Veteran? Of what war? The man hardly looked forty, too old for Iraq, too young for Vietnam. Perhaps he was a veteran of that Desert Storm? I couldn't remember exactly when that had happened, but to be honest I doubted that he was a veteran of anything, or that he had won any money at all. I figured that the only reason he had showed up at two in the morning with a stuffed dog was to hit on a waitress in what had to be one of the creepiest ways possible.
She smiled and accepted the dog, mentioning that it would make a good toy for her son. Son? I was as shocked by the idea that the waitress had a son as I was by the bearded man's claim of being a veteran. She hardly looked old enough to have a kid.
The man left right as I finished my coffee. I got a to-go cup, and began walking home at four in the morning, picking up a pack of Backwoods on the way. By the time I was home it was passed dawn. I had missed my neighbor's morning puke, and for some reason felt sort of sad. I turned on The People's Court, wired on caffeine, and thought about what might have happened if I'd had the nerve to make a move on the pretty waitress working graveyard at the Denny's.
User Reviews
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2007-09-07 15:32:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-07 14:47:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
now i want an omelet, biotch
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-09-07 11:18:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i enjoyed this
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-09-07 10:39:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-09-07 10:38:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nothin' like a casual vomit in the morning
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-07 10:34:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2007-09-07 10:26:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm giving you a 2 for the user name.... Which someone at my camp called herself. I'm not sure if that's just a coincidence or what.... Now to read the post, which I'm sure is good judging by the other ratings.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-09-07 10:15:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-09-07 09:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-07 09:07:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-09-07 08:05:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2007-09-07 00:20:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When you build your igloo which way do you point the enterance?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To the South, away from the bitter cold North wind.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-09-07 07:01:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The immortal question: Could you marry a white woman who had a black baby?
Submitted by Surgeon (user info) at 2007-09-07 06:42:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
ligament..
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-07 05:31:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by odin (user info) at 2007-09-07 05:30:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-09-07 05:24:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 i'm buying a house today
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-09-07 00:36:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I turned on The People's Court, wired on caffeine, and thought about what might have happened if I'd had the nerve to make a move on the pretty waitress working graveyard at the Denny's.
-----------------------------
Well, when I did it, the girl never showed up to work again. So, maybe it's best you didn't O_O
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2007-09-07 00:20:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When you build your igloo which way do you point the enterance?
Submitted by Lmarie22000 (user info) at 2007-09-07 00:19:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I haven't even read this yet.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-09-06 23:54:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
liked it quite a bit
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-09-06 23:38:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"This is a free country isn't it? I can take my panda any place I want to. And if I want to buy it a drink, that's my business." -- Humphrey Bogart
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-09-06 23:06:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You ever see a woman that makes you go "OH SHIT! GAG!?"
They work at Denny's.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-09-06 22:52:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hooray
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-09-06 22:10:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-09-06 21:00:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know that country song. Where the green grass grows, right?
---
Tim McGraw.
*hides*
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-09-06 21:39:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i like the way you write
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-09-06 21:33:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well done. +2
ps: past dawn.
:)
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-09-06 21:20:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
P.S. Tell Sean I said, "Loooooooooooooooove"
He'll know what I mean.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-09-06 21:18:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Does he really do it every morning?
I'm glad I sleep with the fan on...
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-09-06 21:12:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was quite good.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-09-06 21:00:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know that country song. Where the green grass grows, right?
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-09-06 20:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
people watching is so cool
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-09-06 20:52:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked it. Simple observations.