Ever seen 'Death of a Salesman' with Dustin Hoffman and John Mealakovoloich? -or- Here's to new beginnings (522 hits)
Category: Politics -> AfghanistanRating: 0.76 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JamOwilly (View user info) at 2007-09-11 09:28:04 EDT
So far, the front page tells us that:
- It's 9/11
- Ubersite sucks
- Ubersite rocks
- Rob Berg uses the 'e-' prefix FAR TOO FUCKING OFTEN AND IT'S MAKING ME WANT TO RIP MY GODDAMNED EYES OUT OF THEIR SOCKETSE (hehe I misspelled 'sockets' and realized it kind of looks like goatse so I left it)
- Matt Mairoiaonoano is gay
- That RabiedRooster noob would do well to invest in some flouride toothpaste
But you know as well as I do that what *really* matters is what pertains to my general well-being. OathMeal's welfare is paramount to any and all matters of uber-causality.
So here's what's been up:
I saw 'Death of a Salesman' last night for the first time. You know, the movie rendition of Arthur Miller's masterpiece about a tired, aging salesperson fighting suicidal thoughts and the malaise of his sons? Yea, story of my fucking life, just 40 years in the future.
At the end of the film I shut off my playstation 2 (Because let's be honest...the absolute most functional piece of machinery ever known to man is the Sony PS2. It plays CD's, PS2 games, REGULAR playstation games, DVD's, AND CDR's. I mean, wtf! Butter, right! Fucking BUTTER) and sucked down my final Coors tallboy before heading to bed, thinking to myself, "You know, I'm much too badass to allow some shit like THAT to happen to ME."
Then, I castrated myself with a rusty fork out of the fear of procreating. Yes, this makes all of Ubersite a happy panda.
But really, people...whether you're a fan of mine or not, I'm going to get serious on that ass for a second.
I'm leaving Atlanta. For good.
It's true. In about 3 weeks, I'm packing everything I own into my tiny little Honda and trekking out west to make a life somewhere between here and Sacramento. Where will I end up? Fuck knows. I have some idea but, after some reflection, isn't the point of doing shit like this to NOT have a plan?
I'll never come back to Atlanta for as long as I live. This city is a cum-encrusted cesspool of crime, traffic, bad rap music (yes, there IS good rap music and it DOESN'T come from Atlanta) and more traffic.
Jeanneee, sinistral et al know what I'm chirpin' bout.
So yea. That's what's up. Those of you faggot-faced dickshits who keep tabs on where I work/live/fuck can chalk this one up to youthful ignorance (I'll be youthful until at least 35 thanks to my Adonis-like body and cunning wit).
Oh, and here's a pic of my dog, for value-add.
She's getting the front seat.
User Reviews
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-09-12 05:00:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
plus two more for SOCKETSE
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-11 18:49:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey, haven't you been on here a year, yet?
I think it time for your annual post - it should be a good one, actually
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-11 17:46:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
- Rob Berg uses the 'e-' prefix FAR TOO FUCKING OFTEN AND IT'S MAKING ME WANT TO RIP MY GODDAMNED EYES OUT OF THEIR SOCKETSE (hehe I misspelled 'sockets' and realized it kind of looks like goatse so I left it)
--------
haha, this is gold
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-09-11 16:25:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had a little while ago that if I ever get to a point in my life where I am financially stable but have no sense of "being," I'm going to buy my dream car (E30 M3) and just drive around the country.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-11 14:24:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2007-09-11 14:05:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DOGGY!!!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-09-11 13:57:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
e-!
Submitted by Surgeon (user info) at 2007-09-11 13:21:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
culdoscope..
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-09-11 13:15:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
good luck on your travels. i'm sure a guy like you can survive quite comfortably on the road by manning truckstop gloryholes for spare change.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-09-11 12:47:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm torn between being sad that you're leaving and being glad that there will be one less car clogging up the roads. My road rage is so out of control that I actually considered flicking a lit cigarette at a construction flagman the other day. I need help.
Anyway, congratulations. You and Loki have a safe trip.
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-11 11:33:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I take it back, ubersite is your ONLY friend.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-09-11 11:27:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
rearrange....
Fire
Die
In
A
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-11 10:57:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey, look.
Oathmeal was able to poop out a post.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-09-11 10:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Since when is having sex with other men "gay"?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-11 10:28:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
UnderOathMeal: Bringing the Crumple to Your State in 2008.
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-11 10:03:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
UBERSITE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND, ASSHOLE!
Submitted by stone8946 (user info) at 2007-09-11 09:38:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-09-11 09:37:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats, but if you don't start moving now, the ghetto that is your current city will steal all your possessions and and shank you in the neck, while you brag about your escape.
But honestly, that's why most people live in the suburbs and Atlanta's sprawl reaches for an extra 60 miles in every direction outside of the perimeter.
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-09-11 09:31:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yet again a victory for RabiedRooster
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-11 09:30:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ATLANTA WEEPS FOR THE LOSS OF ITS GREATEST SON!!!