Do You Have What It Takes To Join My Militia? (584 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.28 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Scott James Is At Work (View user info) at 2007-09-11 19:53:45 EDT
Question #1
An old dear sneaks ahead of you in the queue at the checkout at Tesco. Do you...
a) Tap her on the shoulder and politely remind her that you were first?
b) Cough loudly and mutter an obscene insult beneath your breath?
c) Scream "I was here first, you bitch!" and subject her to a flying headbutt?
d) Calmly and silently snap her neck like a twig and urinate in her handbag?
Question #2
You board the bus to work and spot a chav playing music on his mobile phone. Do you...
a) Sit down and say nothing?
b) Politely ask for the volume to be turned down?
c) Take the phone and smash it beneath the heel of your boot?
d) Sit next to him, wait five minutes then detonate the bomb in your rucksack?
Question #3
You have your passport photo taken at Boots and the cute shop assistant comments that you look like a 'shoe bomber'. Do you...
a) Smile affably and crack a joke about being frisked at the airport?
b) Scowl fiercely and accuse her of being a racist?
c) Panic, run out of the store and head for the safe house?
d) Kill her, dispose of the body and remove all traces that you were there?
Question #4
Complete the following sentence, "Those kids with the wheelie trainers are..."
a) Cute and adorable.
b) Slightly annoying but I put up with it.
c) A bloody menace and should be banned
d) Collateral damage
Question #5
You park your brand-new Honda next to a gaggle of hoodies. Upon your return you find that the 'H' is missing from the bonnet of your car. Do you...
a) Ask the gang if they have seen anybody tampering with your car?
b) Shake with impotent rage as the gang mocks you before driving off?
c) Threaten the gang with violence if they don't return your 'H'?
d) Zap each of the gang with your stun gun and frisk each body for your 'H'?
Question #6
You go to watch a movie at the Odeon and a woman answers her mobile phone during a crucial scene. Do you...
a) Tut loudly and hope the inconsiderate bitch gets the message?
b) Lean over and politely remind her that people are trying to watch the film?
c) Scream "Shut up, you whore - I'm trying to watch the movie!"
d) Swipe at her throat with a karate chop and snap her larnyx?
Question #7
The government passes another law that restricts our freedom. How do you feel?
a) Not so bad - they must have a good reason.
b) Don't care - as long as they don't raise the VAT on cigarettes and alcohol.
c) Enraged - I really could go on a killing spree right about now.
d) Cold and furious - but all I need to do is bide my time.
Question #8
What is your ideal night out?
a) A meal at a nice restaurant and then maybe a movie.
b) A massive piss-up with all my friends.
c) I don't go out. I'd rather stay at home online.
d) Scouting for locations for 'The Day of Judgement'
Question #9
Complete the following sentence, "All drugs should be..."
a) Dropped into the ocean.
b) Made legal.
c) Free on the NHS.
d) Used to expand people's minds and heal their pain.
Question #10
Che Guervara was a...
a) A guy on a poster when I was at uni.
b) The president of Cuba
c) A revolutionary
d) Pussy
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How did you answer?
- Mostly 'a's
Traitor: You are obviously a government operative sent to spy on our cell. You will be buried up to your neck in the dirt and we will bludgeon your head to shit with big fucking rocks.
- Mostly 'b's
Cannon Fodder: Nice try but your time in my service will be short-lived. You will either be sacrificed as a suicide bomber or be made to take the rap while the rest of us escape.
- Mostly 'c's
A good soldier: You have the loyalty of a faithful hound and the morality of a pirate. You prosper in chaos and understand the virtues of electrocution, waterboarding and Chinese Burns.
- Mostly 'd's
Officer: By the beard of Zeus, you may one day be general of my legions! Russell Crowe ain't got shit on you. You are the baddest motherfucker in the valley - you eat gunpowder and shit dynamite. I salute you.
User Reviews
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-12 14:54:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-12 12:10:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
good pic
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-09-12 11:09:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-09-12 07:52:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
filename
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-09-11 22:27:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-09-11 22:19:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck against my cultists.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-09-11 22:00:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Question #1
What the hell is a queue and a Tesco?
Question #2
What's a chav?
Question #3
Boots?
Question #4
Trainers?
Question #5
Hoodies?
Question #6
c
Question #7
b
Question #8
b
Question #9
b
Question #10
a
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-09-11 21:22:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-09-11 21:09:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A child once threw his ball into my yard. I took it away from him and told him that if he ever so much as fucking looked at my property again, the ball would be his new butt plug.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2007-09-11 20:39:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You think rugby is:
a) something do with rugs
b) some kind of sport or game - might have seen it once on cable - but you're not sure
c) one hell of a sport
d) something you've played a thousand times & a great thirst-builder for the ensuing evening's activities
by the way, my answer is d. I want to be at a Major - at least.
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2007-09-11 20:29:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-11 20:25:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Then this +2 ought to give you nightsweats.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111636
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Hah! Touche, motherfucker!
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-09-11 20:27:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nope
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-11 20:25:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Then this +2 ought to give you nightsweats.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111636
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2007-09-11 20:19:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-11 20:18:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, if I can't be first, I CAN still throw out the first -2!
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Yeah, where the fuck were you?
I can't sleep well until you -2 one of my posts.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-11 20:18:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, if I can't be first, I CAN still throw out the first -2!
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-09-11 20:13:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-09-11 20:04:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
If all your militia does is sit around asking each other questions like this, then I feel very good about saying "No, I am quite thankful for the knowledge that I absolutely don't have what it takes to join your militia."