... don't listen to Schlongy... (710 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.79 on 38 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by crosschris (View user info) at 2007-09-11 22:26:38 EDT
I'll give you an example on HOW to use "Beaver".
Say, you're walking down the street...laying on the beach...strolling an aisle at the supermarket, and a hot looking piece of ass walks by. You just stare at the traffic sign, the ocean, or the Heinz Ketchup ("Buy One, Get One Free") and calmly say, loud enough for her, and your girlfriend or wife to hear, "BEAVER".
You would be amazed at the reaction you'll get. I swear, I've gotten phone numbers using this 100% Guaranteed method of scoring with broads.
All very well, but just look what happened to me...(!)
User Reviews
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-09-12 15:36:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I can hear him now - "Only 3 more weeks until my unibrow is completely filled in and kickin! Yah!"
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-09-12 15:00:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is a zero, Uniter? Seriously?
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-12 14:50:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-09-12 12:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"PASCAL PASCAl .. ET OUUU PASCAL?"
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-12 11:39:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-09-12 11:03:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Who is schlongy?
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-12 08:23:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You get incredibly ugly?
Can you please make the picture bigger next time? My eyes aren't what they used to be.
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-09-12 07:05:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Would have been a +2 if the picture was bigger.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-12 04:59:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Alex Zane?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-09-12 04:45:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111642
Submitted by Natures_Biggest_Mistake (user info) at 2007-09-12 04:34:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-09-12 04:01:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dude, I can see the pores on the tip of your nose.
Why would you do that to me? Seriously, I'm not even making fun of you right now...I just want to know why that had to happen.
----
LOOOOOOL. **Appriciating haikumikoo's view on the post matter**
-2 for tripe post, but i'm +2ing kumikoo's comment.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-09-12 04:18:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My lord! Somebody afflicted you with blue velour and bad skin for saying "beaver"? Oh the humanity!
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2007-09-12 04:03:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Too small; resize please.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-09-12 04:01:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Dude, I can see the pores on the tip of your nose.
Why would you do that to me? Seriously, I'm not even making fun of you right now...I just want to know why that had to happen.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-09-12 03:46:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hah!
Submitted by Natures_Biggest_Mistake (user info) at 2007-09-12 03:17:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It's early enough in the morning to make me laugh. The photo with the black eye. The rest could have been tweaked a bit.
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2007-09-12 03:10:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I could count every hair of your tribrow.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-12 00:31:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't understand why this is so poorly rated.
I thought it was quite funny...
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-12 00:19:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
All very well, but just look what happened to me...(!)
your head swelled to insane proportions before asploding in a fine mist of bone, blood and what little braing youhave?
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2007-09-12 00:16:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
YOU LOOK LIKE A HOBO EMO SLOB
FUCK YOU AND YER EYE
GO BEARS WOO!!!
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2007-09-12 00:12:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OMFG you do drugz... lolllolololzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz u r so kewl...
fucking fag
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-09-11 23:41:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-09-11 23:10:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by crosschris (user info) at 2007-09-11 23:08:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Constitution:
MY FACE SWELLED UP THAT WAY BECAUSE I'D JUST BEEN HIT VERY VERY HARD IN THE FACE.
that is ALL
*************
You should be hit HARDER and MORE OFTEN, dipshit. . . .
Submitted by crosschris (user info) at 2007-09-11 23:08:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Constitution:
MY FACE SWELLED UP THAT WAY BECAUSE I'D JUST BEEN HIT VERY VERY HARD IN THE FACE.
that is ALL
Submitted by Constitution (user info) at 2007-09-11 23:04:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Your face slants a little to the left. Your right.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-09-11 22:52:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hence no sleep, no shave, no fightin' back, no clear skin, shit couch, no statement taken by cops on the night as I was seen as unfit.
***************
Unfit???? NO ONE is fit to ream Shlongy.
Except me, Orgasmatron, Jack McCallum, and da Shlong hisself. Keep that in mind. . . . .
Submitted by crosschris (user info) at 2007-09-11 22:44:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jees guys, you don't get to look THIS good less you've bin on massive ammount of drugs for 2 days. Hence no sleep, no shave, no fightin' back, no clear skin, shit couch, no statement taken by cops on the night as I was seen as unfit. Regardless if you can't laugh at yourself, or along with others that are doin the same I wouldn't have posted this.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-09-11 22:39:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
why didn't you fight him for the sake of - BEING A MAN?!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-09-11 22:38:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Big pile o shit.
Submitted by crosschris (user info) at 2007-09-11 22:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The police caught the guy, but as he shouted 'Eat my shorts' before he smashed me (and 3 of my friends both male and female) I didn't press charges, cos I thought he was Bart Bart and he was let out after a night in the cells. This is a partly true story, but the reasons of why both my friends and I didn't press charges are completely fabricated for the benefit of the tinterwebs..
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-11 22:38:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
PS. That couch isn't helping you not get punched, either.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-09-11 22:34:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet you get punched in the face frequently.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-09-11 22:32:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A) You misspelled Shlongy
B) The picture shows your lack of beard-growing ability.
C) You suck big doggie cock.
D) Fuck off and die, fool.
E) Reread all of the above.
F) I lament the fact that -2 is the lowest available. . . . . .
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-11 22:29:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The poor guy that punched you is hurting, too...he has to get all of the zit-puss off his knuckles...
And that's no picnic.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-11 22:28:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That wasn't because you said "beaver", Howie...it was because of that haircut and your piss-poor photography skills.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-09-11 22:28:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
All right. His story checks out.
-- Homer Simpson, checking in the encyclopedia
under "Bush, George"
Two Bad Neighbors
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2007-09-11 22:28:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If anything, the picture isn't big enough.
Submitted by crosschris (user info) at 2007-09-11 22:27:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shit, sorry about the picture size, me bad.