ATTN: UberLadies (934 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.35 on 46 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lambchop's Death Legion (View user info) at 2007-09-13 11:51:30 EDT
Last night, after band practice, I started to get this pain in my nut sack. I tried to skate it off, but the pain became so unbearable that I yelled at them to take me to the hospital.
After lying there in the hospital bed for an hour or so, i was told that i had "testicular torsion" and there was no blood flow to my right testicle. He told me that if the operation is done now i would have a 90% percent chance to be able to untwist it and get blood flow back. Obviously, i decided to take the surgery ASAP.
It made me think though. There would have been that 10% chance that they could not have saved it and I would only have one nut. I would have been a Lance Armstrong. Right then and there, I was scared that if that happened I would never have a sex life again. I asked if that did happen, if I could get a prosthetic, and the surgeon said not until 6 or 7 months from now.
So here is the question I ask you UberLadies, would you care if a dude had only one nut? Would be you be totally freaked out?
User Reviews
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-09-15 23:38:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To be perfectly honest, I would probably get off on it just a little bit. I think scars, old injuries, and imperfections are badass.
That sucks about your nut pain though. Glad you're feeling better.
Submitted by steph (user info) at 2007-09-15 23:33:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't say honestly I've ever gazed romantically at a dude's sack... Can't quite see how it'd matter much.
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2007-09-15 22:34:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I Had a friend who only had one nut.
We called him "one nut Joe"
Submitted by olivia_tremor_control (user info) at 2007-09-15 20:07:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel your pain. I had a testicular torsion a couple of years ago. Not fun.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-09-15 00:35:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think it's a great set opener.
"How you ladies doing, I have one testicle."
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-09-15 00:29:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-09-14 20:08:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
unless this really happened... then damn sucks to be you.
---
Yeah, it did.
And it was Dean Venture.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-09-14 20:08:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
unless this really happened... then damn sucks to be you.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-09-14 20:05:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So are you Hank or Dean Venture?
dumbass
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-09-14 10:56:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Natures_Biggest_Mistake (user info) at 2007-09-14 03:45:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, don't mean to be prying here.... But the way this is put forward.... With the question at the end.... Did it.... Er.... Well....
Did you fall into the 10%? Be honest.....
---
Nope. Plus, they threw in a bonus stitch in my left one to prevent it from happening again to my other one.
Submitted by Surgeon (user info) at 2007-09-14 07:40:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
thymectomy..
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-09-14 06:45:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:24:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It would be easier to teabag, if you do that sort of thing. Let's work up a pros vs cons list on this one.
---------------
Damn Anansie, all hatin' on the male form. Do you insist on being taken from behind so that you don't have to look at our offensive bodies?
Is it all nudity though? Do you simply find the human form repulsive? What about animals? In your perfect world are swine required to wear baggy clothing?
I'm scurred of you now. If we started a family and had sons you'd be all like "nasty, dirty, SINFUL, little boys!" and they'd be all weird and living in the attic and mutilating squirrals and stuff.
If I had only one nut I don't think it would be so bad. I could wear tighter underwear and suffer less discomfort from the confinement maybe.
Submitted by Natures_Biggest_Mistake (user info) at 2007-09-14 03:45:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, don't mean to be prying here.... But the way this is put forward.... With the question at the end.... Did it.... Er.... Well....
Did you fall into the 10%? Be honest.....
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-09-14 03:27:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:02:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i would feel the need to poke and jiggle it because that's so freakish. like if you had a spare, i'd be forced to squeeze it to test its reality
***********************
AHAHAHAHAHAHA Best mental image ever! Just a picture of pure joy and wonder on her face!
Submitted by Mizuna (user info) at 2007-09-14 02:18:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I personally think, shit if a woman gives a fuck about how many balls I have, she needs to realize shes just another cheap bang.
Because honestly, long term relationships are more about who you are, if its just about sex, its not a relationship so I don't think it really matters what they think regardless. Plus, if you read uber or post on it, chances are the only chicks your going to get are half drunk ones. I doubt she would care if you put it in her ass let alone if you only had one nut.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-09-13 21:45:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would laugh a little initially if I ever saw 'the one nut phenomenon'
then ask how it happened.
then probably not feel like having sex after all that talking. Then i'd leave and as my parting words I would say;
SUCKS TO BE YOU!!!
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-13 19:01:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2007-09-13 18:30:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Who gives a fuck? If a Woman bases her opinion of a man on the amount of testicles he has, she deserves to have her head caved in.
Submitted by AllyJeans (user info) at 2007-09-13 15:44:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
A nut in hand is worth two in the bush. Though nuts don't really belong in the bush.
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-09-13 14:37:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=355708808082112148
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-09-13 13:58:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well it's 40 below and I don't give a fuck
Got a heater in my truck and I'm off to the rodeo
And it's allemande left and allemande right
Come on ya fuckin' dummy get your right step right
Get off the stage ya god damn goof, get off
piss me off, fuckin' jerks, get on my nerves
Well here comes Johnny with his pecker in his hand
He's a one ball man and he's off to the rodeo
And it's allemande left and allemande right
Come on ya fuckin' dummy get your right step right
Get off the stage ya god damn goof, get off
piss me off, fuckin' jerks, get on my nerves
Well it's 40 below and I aint got a truck
and I dont give a fuck cause I'm off to the rodeo
And it's allemande left and allemande right
Come on ya fuckin' dummy get your right step right
Get off the stage ya god damn goof, get off
piss me off, fuckin' jerks, get on my nerves
Well here comes Johnny with his pecker in his hand
He's a one ball man and he's off to the rodeo
And it's allemande left and allemande right
Come on ya fuckin' dummy get your right step right
Get off the stage ya god damn goof, get off
piss me off, fuckin' jerks, get on my nerves
Submitted by kirst-n-dennis (user info) at 2007-09-13 13:54:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If I really liked someone I don't think it would bother me in the slightest if they only had one ball.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-13 13:25:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i know a couple of uniballers and they had no problems either. one thing I've never asked is do they just have empty sack or does the surgery end up changing the sack? not that I really care but curiousity sometimes gets the best of me.
"Hey! while you're down there don't forget to suck on my ball."
"Damn that guy's got ball"
"stop touching your twig and berry in class"
" I got kicked in the ball by some chick last night"
so many changes! craziness.
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:56:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Are you there God? It's me, Lambchop"
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:51:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A fine comeback.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just close one eye and "pretend".
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:33:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Silly man, I'm trying to think of what I would do differently with one ball, so unless your playing uno over there I don't think you can help.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:29:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe if you swing by and play with MY balls for a while, you'll be able to add to your list.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:29:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's the chinese stress balls, NOT the kind you squeeze until it pops.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:28:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
PROS
Half as gross
Easier to teabag
Less to shave?
Scars are sexy, right?
CONS
Can't pretend they are stress balls if there's only one.
Some scars are gross.
Looks weird. Although like snowflakes, each set is unique, so maybe it doesn't matter.
I can't think of anymore.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:27:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As long as it wasn't some sort of freakish mutation...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:25:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:24:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It would be easier to teabag, if you do that sort of thing. Let's work up a pros vs cons list on this one.
===
Less trimming/shaving you have to do out of consideration for me.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:24:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It would be easier to teabag, if you do that sort of thing. Let's work up a pros vs cons list on this one.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:23:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That would make your balls half as hairy and gross, so I suppose it would be alright.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:23:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're asuming that women care about nuts. If you've got one, you're still in the running as "potential genetic material."
Lemme ask you this; could you love a woman with one breast? Could you look her deep in the eye and tell her she means the world to you? Could you make love to her without wincing every time you glanced at the flat space where a boob should be?
Besides, womenz don't want to see your sack, so if you didn't tell her, she might not notice.
Unless you insist on bjs, then she'd probably figure it out.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:18:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If I loved him, I'd get over it.
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:18:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Codeine is awesome
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:15:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"You weren't shooting dope into your scrotum were you?!"
Submitted by MouRNIngLoRY (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:12:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I could give a shit. One nut, two nuts, three nuts, four.
OK, four might be pushing it.
Honestly, I don't even think I would notice.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:03:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
By "band practice", you mean this: http://www.ubersite.com/m/109286
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:03:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Easy fix: http://www.neuticles.com/
That, or change your name to John Kruk.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-09-13 12:02:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i would feel the need to poke and jiggle it because that's so freakish. like if you had a spare, i'd be forced to squeeze it to test its reality.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-13 11:56:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't worry about it...Wouldn't be an issue.
I didn't foresee a huge future for you with chicks, anyway.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-13 11:55:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My friend got testicular cancer when he was like 20 or so. He had to get one nut removed and he's still shagging a lot.
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-13 11:55:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had the same scare with a hematoma from a motorcycle accident :(
Submitted by EmoJean (user info) at 2007-09-13 11:54:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck nuts, dicks get all the pussy
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-09-13 11:53:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had that same thing. I kept my nut too