A Beautiful Day (780 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: fiction
Rating: 1.29 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by FALLEN (View user info) at 2007-09-13 15:49:59 EDT
"Madness! Curse that old hag!"
Case upon case had been opened, their contents spilled to the floor. Every last crate the royal guards opened revealed the same desecration. The sergeant let the wretched thing in his hand fall to the ground as his commanding officer entered the Rockit factory warehouse followed by one of the king's council members.
"Sir, the men have finished the investigation and it was as Mr. Pecially had feared, the statuettes have been tampered with."
His brow furrowed as he turned toward her, she was quite lovely with long brown hair that ended just above her fir-trimmed cape. He had seen her in her royal garb infrequently as she preferred to dress as a normal citizen most days, but as this was official business she wore the uniform of her office.
"My lady, as you can see" he handed her the figure "Corny was correct. His majesty will not be pleased."
"You were wise to involve me before going to my uncle, I will need to keep this from getting out of hand. He will be furious, he has tolerated Elaine's mischief as we all have in the past but I fear this time she has gone too far."
Aberline sighed as she looked down on the statue in her hand, the image of the king's face replaced with the bitter visage of an old woman with short blond hair and a bulbous, red nose.
She entered the throne room to the fanfare of trumpets but also the sight of the King grabbing his robe and sword. Ever the stickler for protocol he still managed his usual greeting.
"Lady Aberline, I presume?"
"Correct as usual Uncle Friday....I must ask you to calm down and think this through. Lady Elaine has.."
"Done enough to this kingdom and to me. The damage to the factory and my statues has been the final indiscretion. She will make reparations for her insolence."
"Lady Aberline?" a small timed voice spoke from behind her.
"Daniel, what is a small tiger like you doing so far from his clock at a time like this?"
"I tried to give the King some advice so he would not send his guards to arrest Lady Elaine. He would not listen to me."
"This is beyond diplomacy my striped minion, justice must prevail. X, fly ahead and report any aerial information, Bob Troll, lead the Royal Guard to the Museum-go-Round."
The Museum-go-Round had no windows making it impossible to see inside. The only illumination was from the flames from the platypus mound next door. The fire danced and strange hues reflected from the multi-colored pillars that surrounded the tomb gray building. Upon later investigation it would be discovered that Dr. Bill put up a valiant effort to defend his family but he could not stop their slaughter.
The interior of the museum was empty, a solitary light shown from above onto a scroll, placed atop a pillar. The King took the scroll and read it aloud.
LOOKS LIKE I'M NOT HOME
WHERE COULD I BE??
GOTCHA, TOOTS.
L.E.F.
"My God.. Sarah. Tuesday!!
Back to the castle men!!!"
He had feared the worst, the tree that stood in the middle of the kingdom had been uprooted and the small house that had been perched atop its limb, crushed beneath the weight of the timber. The trolley had been derailed and plummeted from the track upon which it ran for so many years.
The King and his men burst the doors to the throne room open and saw the queen and prince bound and gagged to their seats.
A figure in shabby clothes stood before them.
"Fairchild"
Screamed the King.
She turned and there eyes locked, in her hand a small curved piece of metal. She waved it menacingly in the air.
BOOMERANG!
TOOMERANG!
"See you in Hell, Friday" she hissed.
ZOOMERANG!
User Reviews
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-03-10 16:15:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I met a fella who looked just like Casey.
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-09-17 10:56:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 Mr. Rogers
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-09-14 16:55:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Okay, now I get the reference, but I refuse to +2
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-09-14 16:43:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wtf.
srsly.
made me laugh though.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-14 14:08:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This kicks ass on so many levels...
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-09-14 14:06:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hooray for Mr. Rogers. May his black, black soul rest in peace.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-14 13:49:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA!!!
This was fuckin' GREAT!
For all those NON-American readers, this is based on a very popular children program many of us grew up with here in the States.
Absolute +2
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-09-14 12:58:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had to google "Pom"
no I am not a Pom.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-09-14 11:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"See you in hell, Friday."
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-09-14 09:08:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Surgeon (user info) at 2007-09-14 07:36:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ritidoplasty..
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-09-13 22:27:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
leaves a +2 and backs away slowly making no sudden moves
Submitted by AccidentalPerfidy (user info) at 2007-09-13 21:58:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Not enough chemicals in my system for this shit. Even after a re-read I'm struggling to see the point of wasting time putting this together.
The fact that's it's several colours of weird kept it from -2 land.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-09-13 21:34:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is the second story in the past two days that i've read in an english accent.
are you a pom?
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-09-13 19:09:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thank god,
it's friday
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-13 18:59:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-09-13 16:18:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Hey - Love Love - Yeh Yeh - Ah Ha
Freddies dead, thats what i said.
Let the man read, the plan, said it singing home
But his home was a rope and he should've known.
Everybody's misused him, ripped him up and abused him.
Another junkie plan, pushin' dope for the man.
A terrible blow, but thats how it goes.
A freddies on the corner now.
If you wanna be a junkie wow.
Remember freddies dead.
We're all built up with progress
But sometimes i must confess.
We can deal with rockets and dreams
But reality, what does it mean?
Ain't nothing said, cause freddies dead.
Hey Hey-Love Love-Ha Ha-Love Love-He Hey-Ha Ha-Yeh Yeh
Freddies dead
All i want is some peace of mind
With a little love i'm trying to find.
This could be such a beautiful world, with a wonderful girl.
I need a woman child. Don't wanna be like freddie now.
Cause freddies dead
Everybody's misused him, ripped him up and abused him.
Another junkie plan, pushin' dope for the man.
A freddies on the corner now.
If you wanna be a junkie why, remember freddies dead.
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha freddies dead
Hey Hey - Ha Ha - Love Love - Ha Ha
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-09-13 16:10:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sir cowman
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neighborhood_of_Make-Believe
thanks
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-13 16:07:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
suitable
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-09-13 16:06:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I re-read it.
I think I get it now.
An old witch messed up some statues, so the king's neice was called to calm the king down but a tiger shower up so they had to send out jets for recon work. Then they went to a museum, you know, the one next to the platypus mound, but no one was home, so they had to rush back to the castle, but when they returned, the king and queen were gagged, and then they were killed by a boomerang.
What?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-13 16:03:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-09-13 16:00:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what?