I saved a bat today...I am a bat saver (955 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: 1.63 on 66 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by LEGS (View user info) at 2007-09-13 21:52:13 EDT
So check it...
I was walking home from work and I'd just run into my sister Camille and her friend Aesha, who were also on the way to the house.
Its Rosh Hashanah, so all the Jewish people are outside (there's a synagogue near my house). We were walking toward my block and I saw something furry on the corner, something rolling around. At first, I thought it was a mouse but then 2 wings spread out.
Holy Satan's buttcrack, Batman! It's a....it's a......BAT!
(Ok, so that was corny...just bear with me)
Anyway, it was rolling and hopping around, but all we could think was "What the hell was a bat doing in this part of Brooklyn?!?"
There are no caves around where I live, but maybe it was a tree bat. Bats can live in trees, right?
In any event, I also realized that there was something coming out of it. It was a MAMA bat! And it was giving birth....to a BABY bat! At that point, me, Camille and Aesha felt it imperative to stay with the bat through its time of pain. It was the three of us and about 6-7 other people that were watching all this happen, informing people of what was going on, screaming at passers-by to not step on the bat and its baby, etc. We wanted to stay with the bat until it gave birth, but the process was taking way too long. One of the other bat savers exclaimed, "She needs a c-section, stat!"
A batologist even walked by to inform us that both mother and child would die, due to the fact that bats give birth upside down. An interesting tidbit, but I researched it and most bats give birth right side up. He was obviously an impostor/charlatan.
But then the light came at the end of our bat birth tunnel, in the form of an old lady who happened by our small crowd of people. She asked me what was going on and I told her that we were watching a bat give birth.
"A bat?!" she yelled. "I gotta get out of here."
But her sense of motherly duty must have drawn her back because she returned and suggested that we get a box for it and put it somewhere. No one really wanted to go through all that, we just wanted to watch the bat flop around and hear the baby squeal. In hindsight, I realize that we were all bastards.
THEN, she came back WITH a box and a box top. The bat and its progeny were then carefully scooped into the box and we took it to a dark yard to "dump" it in a bush. This was all done carefully, she turned the box upside down and shook it gently, then bringing the box back onto the sidewalk. She asked Aesha if the bat was still in the box but because it was dark, she stuck her head all the way in and when she realized it was still there, screamed, "YES!"
We all screamed and ran, the lady dropped the box on the floor and I saw the bat bounce very high. Poor thing.
We took the box and turned it upside down again, putting it in the bushes, hoping that someday soon we would see a mama with her baby bat flying around Brooklyn. I'll give you an update if this happens
User Reviews
Submitted by zoobie2000 (user info) at 2007-09-18 20:02:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wtf??? you mad bro
" A batologist even walked by to inform us that both mother and child would die, due to the fact that bats give birth upside down. An interesting tidbit, but I researched it and most bats give birth right side up. He was obviously an impostor/charlatan. "
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-17 14:21:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you forgot - It's part of your UberContract that any pictures of you be shown from the waist DOWN...
Submitted by MouRNIngLoRY (user info) at 2007-09-16 22:23:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm just an avid fan of your writing, and your legs!
Seriously, your writing is phenomenal; you put people to shame. Good job!
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2007-09-16 00:58:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-09-16 00:07:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks for ruining my morn leggies
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111716
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yeah, i saw your shit post! and i also rated, sorry to have ruined your morning AGAIN(though I'm not sure what did the first time)
Mourninglory: who are you?
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-09-16 00:07:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks for ruining my morn leggies
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111716
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-09-15 23:56:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really REALLY want to bang you.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-09-15 23:46:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You are so retarded.
Submitted by MouRNIngLoRY (user info) at 2007-09-15 23:16:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And another for reminding me why I love women. You're hot!
Submitted by MouRNIngLoRY (user info) at 2007-09-15 23:16:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For the use of the term "charlatan".
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2007-09-14 17:47:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2007-09-14 15:09:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You should change your username to BOOBS
~~~~~~~~~
My boobs are not that big, its because I'm wearing white.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-09-14 17:43:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is cute.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-09-14 17:22:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Close parentheses.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-09-14 17:21:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've quit smoking, I'm afraid.
But okay, you are a member of the BatSavingBrigade and thus worthy of a +2. (The old lady did the equivalent of picking up the birthing bed of a woman in labour and tipping it upside down. When the lady held onto her mattress, she was shooken. This is perhaps not my definition of "saving", but I am [slightly] adaptable.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2007-09-14 15:09:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You should change your username to BOOBS
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-09-14 15:01:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2007-09-14 14:54:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-09-14 14:17:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 conservation
Although I dont think thats a picture of the bat you saw because that looks like a European horsehoe bat to me
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You look like a European horseshoe bat!
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I just don't know why this exchange made me laugh so hard......
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2007-09-14 14:54:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-09-14 14:17:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 conservation
Although I dont think thats a picture of the bat you saw because that looks like a European horsehoe bat to me
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You look like a European horseshoe bat!
In all fairness, that is what the baby's face looked like when it poked its head out and screamed at us. But maybe it was going to grow into its face or something. I sure hope it isn't dead :(
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-14 14:25:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-09-14 14:17:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 conservation
Although I dont think thats a picture of the bat you saw because that looks like a European horsehoe bat to me
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-09-14 11:39:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know, I can see the similarities.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-09-14 10:29:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-14 08:09:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I absoluetly CRUSHED and killed three palmetto bugs in the garage last night!
SMASHED THEM WITH A SANDAL.
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I found a scorpion on my home office desk last night. 2 inches long and looking mean as hell. I am both bigger and smarter than the scorpion, however, so it's dead now. Fucking scorpions.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-14 10:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no you don't look like a bat but you are quite cute.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-14 10:15:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nahhhhh, berty.
It took three seperate sneak attacks, and probably 7 swings of the sandal.
Those bastards are sneaky.
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2007-09-14 09:37:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
All those reviews made me laugh, except I'm at work, so I laughed hysterically on the inside.
And Fey, I was a part of the Bat-Saving Initiative, which makes me and my cohorts bat savers. Stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it! :P
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-09-14 09:32:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-14 08:09:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I absoluetly CRUSHED and killed three palmetto bugs in the garage last night!
SMASHED THEM WITH A SANDAL.
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What's that? He killed three with one blow?
QUICK, GET GENERAL PETRAEUS ON THE LINE! TELL HIM WE'VE FOUND OUR MAN!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-14 09:23:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LEGS!!!!!!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-09-14 09:12:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-14 08:21:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey give me my cake back
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-09-14 08:10:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-09-14 04:11:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should get a tan.
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that made me laugh like a retard with cake
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-14 08:09:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I absoluetly CRUSHED and killed three palmetto bugs in the garage last night!
SMASHED THEM WITH A SANDAL.
Submitted by Surgeon (user info) at 2007-09-14 07:35:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
mastectomy..
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-09-14 07:35:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
luv u supa hard
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-09-14 06:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome, feel the love.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-09-14 04:11:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should get a tan.
Submitted by 1humangenome (user info) at 2007-09-14 04:09:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
:0) Despite what everyone says, you look a hell of a lot better than the bat out of... Thanks for your contribution to science, nature and humanity. All you need now is a TREE. It's not Hippy crap, but every preserved bat needs a tree to dangle from. That's the bat's view of the world, and it also helps to counter global warming. TREES EAT CO2 if that's an apt way of putting it. If we planted as many trees as Brazil trashes and burns, there would be less floods. Floods don't kill bats, but they drown a hell of a lot of other things, including Polar bears and people from Gloucester and Sheffield. So let's start a vote: how many are in favour of using EU agriculture subsidies EXCLUSIVELY to plant trees and populate them with bats? Even the Germans would like that. So luvya Legs, keep on batting :0)
Submitted by stone8946 (user info) at 2007-09-14 04:09:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I also saved a bat recently.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-09-14 03:47:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If bats looked like you that'd be just terrifying cause you're bigger than a bat. On the other hand bats tend to group in the tens of thousands and if they all look as good as you that'd be awesome! I'm bound to get to bang one of the giant Lego Bat Horde right?
Submitted by Natures_Biggest_Mistake (user info) at 2007-09-14 03:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And FYI, bats can live in many places, we have a family of four nestled in our roof, we cannot get rid of them due to some bat rights shit... But to be honest i wouldn't want to, they come out at night without fail and fly round and round, lalalalalaaaa.
+2 for my bat family.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-14 03:36:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WAIT a cotton pickin moment, so basically you just bounced a bat on the floor?
Oh.
Submitted by Natures_Biggest_Mistake (user info) at 2007-09-14 03:34:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Woooo bat-girl! Go forth, save more... Many more.... Train them to answer to your call....
They will fly you to far away places. I hear Egypt is good.
Your a bit "Bom chikka Wah Wah" if you don't mindmy saying so.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-14 03:18:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey well done Miss bat bat!
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-09-14 02:05:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why is nobody pointing out that you didn't save the bat? You watched a little old lady terrorise it gently, no?
And I think bats can live in eaves. Dunno, though. 'S just a feeling I have.
+2 Bats.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-09-14 01:08:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I remember having bats around growing up.
They rocked. They ate insects, were active when nobody else was awake to notice them, and were suprisingly friendly. I actually got to pet one. It was awesome. Landed on the side of my house, and I had to try it. When else am I going to get that kind of opporotunity?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-09-14 01:00:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Extra point for the camwhore.
I still say "groovy."
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-09-14 00:56:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I grew up here, these are my people. What up?"
"Word."
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-09-14 00:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bats are cool.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-09-14 00:51:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-09-13 21:41:54 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good job, bat saver!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-14 00:46:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2007-09-14 00:41:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good job, bat saver!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-09-13 23:21:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Been there. Sort of.
How I saved A Squirrel From Certain Doom!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/58798
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-09-13 23:07:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You shouldn't lie. You know damn well that the only reason you saved that bat was so you could train it to assist you in taking over the world.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-09-13 23:00:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When the bats take over, it appears that you will be spared.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-09-13 22:55:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU SAVED A BAT! YOU'RE A BAT SAVER! I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-09-13 22:53:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I <3 U
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2007-09-13 22:40:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-13 22:29:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2007-09-13 22:01:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i actually do say that, but i still say "dork" and a plethora of other terms that aren't really used anymore. i'm a throwback kind of girl
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I was thinking more of a throw AWAy kind of girl. p.s. I didn't read this. It's probably shit.
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I'm getting this weird, familiar kind of feeling in the pit of my stomach
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-09-13 22:34:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh jesus...
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-09-13 22:29:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well done, Batwoman.
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-13 22:29:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2007-09-13 22:01:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i actually do say that, but i still say "dork" and a plethora of other terms that aren't really used anymore. i'm a throwback kind of girl
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I was thinking more of a throw AWAy kind of girl. p.s. I didn't read this. It's probably shit.
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2007-09-13 22:26:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-09-13 22:20:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good story
(3 weeks)
~~~~~~
Oh I know, Sini. Just because I haven't been on Uber doesn't mean that I forgot the date of rapeage! I still have your fucking phone number...haha
And fuck you TOE! I'll shoot your face.
(Just kidding)
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-09-13 22:23:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2007-09-13 22:17:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well i probably get away from it because i'm black & from brooklyn. if people raise their eyebrows at me, i shoot them in the fucking face. so they don't. all born and bred new yorkers are like this. thick skin and all that
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that's awesome
*walks out with cautious steps*
*bows in respect*
*runs quickly in other direction*
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-09-13 22:20:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good story
(3 weeks)
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2007-09-13 22:17:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-09-13 22:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I also say 'chillin'
'just chillin with my bruvas, sup' *eyebrow movement*
I still get laughed at.
~~~~~~~~~~~
well i probably get away from it because i'm black & from brooklyn. if people raise their eyebrows at me, i shoot them in the fucking face. so they don't. all born and bred new yorkers are like this. thick skin and all that.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-09-13 22:15:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Karma
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-09-13 22:12:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn mammals.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-09-13 22:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I also say 'chillin'
'just chillin with my bruvas, sup' *eyebrow movement*
I still get laughed at.
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2007-09-13 22:01:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i actually do say that, but i still say "dork" and a plethora of other terms that aren't really used anymore. i'm a throwback kind of girl
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-09-13 21:58:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'so check it'
do people really say that in real life? I wish I could get away with saying that. I get laughed at when I try to bust out the 'sup bruvas'