Another slut lusting after shlongy (love letter) (917 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -0.71 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by candy floss (View user info) at 2007-09-14 03:40:11 EDT
My dearest Shlongy...,
Upon this canvas I shall spill my soul's inner-most desires for you, and upon my chest I carve your name with the dagger of carnal desire, so the world may knoweth that only you lie within my heart.
Should a thousand angels tear out my heart with the forsaken instrument of death, it would still beat for you a million times and call your name in the night. I just cannot explain the passion inside which burns for you.
What manner of creature can resist your romantic hazel coloured eyes have always mystified me. I'm not even sure what colour hazel is officially supposed to be, but I did a check using a paint program and the html code is #887044. I always thought hazel was a type of nut, or even a type of witch, but now I realise its actually a colour.
I simply love your gorgeous brown hair which shines in the sun like bear fur. Only your hair is longer then bear fur and is a lot more radiant, and smells better.
I love sitting on the couch with you and talking for hours on end. I think its great fun to wind you up by asking you baited questions like "Who is the better sex, men or women?". Oh how I love to watch your nostrils flare up, and your face turn red. The best part is when you stomp around insisting you are right, like a 2 year old brat. Its the cute little things like that which I really love about you!
Words alone cannot express how unique my love is for you. I love you, and you only, I swear that to you my love ....well OK, I guess I also love my car which I've just recently done up! It now makes more noise then a jet engine, is more blockier then an old Mario game, and has such low skirting that the whole thing will break apart if I drive over a bottle top, but thats besides the point. My point is that I love you and my love for you is unique (isn't it weird how the word 'unique' and 'eunuch' sound the same? The word Unix also sounds similar, but 'Chimpanzee' doesn't)
I really must tell you though, I absolutely adore your gorgeous bum! I think if God created something truly amazing, then its definitely gotta be your bum! I know some people say the same thing about horses and giraffes, but I think your bum exceeds anything else!
My love, you know what would look hot and vibrant on that beautiful body of yours? Leapord Skin underwear! Oh God, if I saw you wearing those I would simply explode into a heap of sparks with joy! (By the way that was a figure of speech, cos I wouldn't ACTUALLY spontaneously combust, otherwise I wouldn't be able to appreciate your lovely body in Leapord Skin underwear).
You always remain in my thoughts, helping me keep alive with visions of your sweet lips to help fire up my aching heart!
Forever lost without you,
Candy
xxooxxooxx
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-24 20:43:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ahhhh...the memories....
Submitted by pillowcase (user info) at 2007-10-24 20:33:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Slut........I Hayte You!®
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-15 13:31:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"show me your hole"®
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-14 14:23:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
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Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-14 14:23:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2007-09-14 12:13:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I shall not tarry to speak of the handsome Shlongy; his stately castle that holds in its stony bosom the secrets of an age so remote that even tradition goeth not back to it; the imposing mountain scenery that ennobles the landscape thereabouts; nor yet of ancient Uber or haughty Bart; nor of their Method and Boshman, their famous balconies and tombs of Squattail and McBain et al.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-09-14 12:11:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-14 11:36:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-09-14 11:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-09-14 10:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Natures_Biggest_Mistake (user info) at 2007-09-14 08:11:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
SHOW US YOUR HAIRY AXE WOUND OR FEKK OFF, WHO'S WITH ME???
-------------------------
YEAH!
Submitted by icanbecool (user info) at 2007-09-14 08:31:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Isn't Candy Floss a character in GTA: Vice City?
Submitted by Natures_Biggest_Mistake (user info) at 2007-09-14 08:11:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
SHOW US YOUR HAIRY AXE WOUND OR FEKK OFF, WHO'S WITH ME???
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-14 08:07:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I like the other Uber broad way better...she shows some hole when she professes HER love.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS???
I DEMAND BOX!
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-09-14 07:43:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
These need a pic or they're useless.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-09-14 07:43:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Surgeon (user info) at 2007-09-14 07:34:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
transplantation..
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-14 04:33:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You have no photos, Shlongy will not be pleased.
Submitted by candyfloss01 (user info) at 2007-09-14 04:30:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
just joining the slut crusade...*nodds head*
Submitted by RabiedRooster (user info) at 2007-09-14 04:20:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
So where's the boobs eh? The other one was better
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-09-14 04:19:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111642
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-09-14 04:15:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wish you all the luck in the world, as long as it burns when he pee's after you're done.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-14 03:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Leopard Skin underwear on Shlongy, oh my.