The White Trash Tea Party - ( ........ another day in Hillbilly Hollows) (531 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.91 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by TechnoRatty (View user info) at 2007-09-20 15:48:08 EDT
It was Little Britney's Birthday and she was looking forward to her tea party. Her favourite dolly, Jemima, and her lovely teddy bear, Mr Furry Bum, were both sitting waiting to be served. What a pity Sambo-Spade, her golliwog, was unable to come. He had been strung up on a tree by Cletus and Big Ed, her two Southern Baptist KKK action men.
Britney was so happy. She looked out of the pretty lace-curtained windows of the little shack which she shared with her one-legged mother, her drunken rapist father and her four mentally retarded brothers and what a pretty sight: the local police were having fun beating up a couple of no good vagrants and how the sun glinted off the tramps' teeth as they flew through the air.
She asked Jemima how she liked her tea and Jemima told her to put some fuckin' moonshine in it. So she added a stiff measure of her Daddy's best rotgut to the Earl Gray. "And five fuckin' lumps o' sugar, bitch," growled Jemima.
Next she asked Mr Furry Bum whether he would like some tea as well, but her just gave her the finger by way of response. My, my, there was no pleasing some people, Little Britney thought. So she kicked Mr Furry Bum in the face and he flew over the room and guess where he landed? Right on the face of her sleeping, drunken, rapist father who woke up and threatened Little Britney.. " with serious fuckin' violence if she didn't fuckin' watch it".
So Little Britney sat in terrified silence, sipping her tea while her little world turned round and round and that old granddaddy clock went ticky - tock, ticky - tock on the wall of the little whiffy shack. And outside in the 95 degree heat, the screams of the vagrants died down as they fell into unconsciousness and the two cops drove off looking for some more riff-raff to interrogate.
Jemima finished her impromptu Long Island Tea and burped. So Little Britney knew it was time for her saucy dolly to go and do wee-wee's. So she took the dolly off to the can to tip her out, but it was no good as the little whore pissed all over her before she could get her knickers off.
Little Britney was so annoyed that she broke Jemima's right arm and hurled the poor little dolly into the corner. Little Britney's birthday party was good and spoiled now, so she got dressed up in her favourite stockings and suspenders and her nice nurse's uniform and out she went to earn a bit of cash to keep her drunken Daddy in booze.
Alas ......... It was just another day in Hillbilly Hollows.
The End
User Reviews
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-21 02:45:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"He had been strung up on a tree by Cletus and Big Ed, her two Southern Baptist KKK action men."
...Gold.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-09-21 01:30:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-09-20 23:31:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-09-20 23:20:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You need a more accurate template.
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-09-20 18:28:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-09-20 17:03:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sorry to break your streak... I just didn't think this was +2 material. Clearly you were setting this in the deep south in America, but you kept using slang terms that nobody in the deep south would use. It threw me off.
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Sorry about that...I'm Scottish it's just my immature (t.v based) interpretation.... now where's my buckfast gone??
Submitted by Tom_Tom (user info) at 2007-09-20 17:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for the picture, not a 2 because it's way to confusing, and I'm not re-reading it
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-09-20 17:45:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
i don't get it.
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-09-20 17:03:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sorry to break your streak... I just didn't think this was +2 material. Clearly you were setting this in the deep south in America, but you kept using slang terms that nobody in the deep south would use. It threw me off.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-09-20 16:55:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-09-20 16:51:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
tee hee
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-09-20 16:49:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Loved it.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-20 16:29:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-09-20 16:05:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny.