Eating out (1075 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.13 on 39 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by TechnoRatty (View user info) at 2007-09-21 12:06:05 EDT
Karen was not a slut. She repeated this to herself frequently when, in the haze of alcohol, someone interesting hit on her to get to one thing.
It wasn't like that this time. He really was interested in her. She thought. Also, he said he wanted to eat her out. That sounded interesting, right? Really, what guy volunteered that. Not even on the first date...so much as the first meeting. And she hadn't had that much to drink, only 14 double Vodkas.
So while they caressed each other with kisses and soft touches all the way to her bed. She worried he'd notice her wrinkled, crusty sheets that hadn't been changed in over 6 months. Instead, he went about stripping her down to her teeny tiny black lace underwear. It wasn't like she'd gone out looking...it was just a coincidence that she was wearing such underwear.
His fingers wriggled into the elastic around her sensitive bits and she felt a jolt of adrenaline. Without his mouth to cover hers, she heard herself start to jabber. "I-I've never...well, I mean, I'm not a virgin or anything, but like..."
He turned his eyes up to look at her. As if he was just WAITING for her to say something more. And she really didn't have more to say. How was she supposed to cover that blunder in sex-etiquette? Thirty seconds later, he didn't seem to notice her awkwardness. Instead he was trailing kisses down her stomach and to the line created of her hip and waist meeting. Her panties were flung somewhere over near the desk and again she felt the jolt of adrenaline.
"One-once, when I was a lot younger, we had a moth problem in our house and I was changing my underwear...well the point is, I found only half a moth in my undies that particular day and..."
"Oh brilliant" he said with a grin. "Of all the women I could've picked up, I got the one with the insectivorous pussy." Had she realized he'd had an accent? No. Not one so enticing either.
This, of course, only made her that much more nervous. Thankfully, he stifled her next spurt with a finger in a particularly good place. "Oh God!" Not that that lasted too long. "Once, after masturbating, I licked my fingers to find out what I tasted like and...well, to be honest, I'm surprised you're willing to go down that route."
For a moment, he looked confused, then he dove his head down between her legs, taking a few experimental licks. Popping his head up once more, he shook his head, "You're fine, Darlin'"
"So you are a connoisseur?"
Again, he paused, laying his head on her thigh and nodding slightly, "Well, yes. On some weekends, I have a lovely little cafe that serves me wonderful champagne flutes full of female ejaculate."
Seeing her horrified face, he dove down again, mumbling into parts that don't normally have ears attached, "I'm joking, sweetheart. Relax."
Oh, easier said than done. Karen lay her head back on the wall. Closing her eyes, she breathed a sigh, as if to relax every muscle. Somehow, with fingers and a tongue probing tender bits, it was much harder than expected
It was if someone had quite literally plunged her into a vat of cold water and boiling water at the same time. "I DON'T KNOW YOUR NAME!"
An eyebrow, where an eyebrow normally isn't found, was raised. Resting his chin on the small and unnaturally shapely tuft of hair that rested on her crotch, he chuckled softly. "I believe you will have an angry roommate though. I'm Jim."
"Didn't your mother tell you not to stick your tongue into unknown areas? I'm Karen."
"Actually, no. Mum never mentioned this sort of situation. She was a notorious killjoy, though. However, I would like to get off the topic of my Mum while I get a face full of fanny."
Karen bit her lip and blushed, "Sorry. Yeah. Uhm."
He made a move as if to continue and quite suddenly looked up. "I'm sorry, I really can't do this anymore. May I take you out to eat tomorrow night, instead? Perhaps we'll continue this...or a more appropriate conversation then?"
Karen sighed, then laughed. "Yeah. I'd like that, lets go somewhere classy, like a seafood restaurant,..... since you enjoy the taste of fish"."
User Reviews
Submitted by beat_raven (user info) at 2007-11-23 14:17:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
© All rights reserved
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-09-22 16:24:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-22 15:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THIS IS WHY VIBRATORS WERE INVENTED
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-09-22 12:38:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I almost said something terribly inappropriate.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-21 15:29:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Let's drop this conversation, please.
I'm in the mood to eat some pussy and I'd say my chances of that happening this evening couldn't be any lower.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-09-21 15:24:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well Saccy, I definitely think that she isnt able to relax enough. I'd say on average I take a good amount of time "heating the oven" so its not the amount of lead up time. She's just very tense I guess. Thanks for the advice.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-21 15:15:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Wait...it's supposed to please HER???
Now I've heard everything.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-09-21 15:09:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Saccy:
Quit profiling the poor boys on their potential oral skills.
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Aside from that.. about the ABC's mentioned below? Just come out and say the whole thing.
Write the alphabet, A-Z in cursive on her with your tongue. one or more letters is bound to get you there.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-09-21 14:50:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you spend enough time leading up to it?
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Yup, gotta really preheat that oven.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-21 14:39:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-09-21 14:21:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think if you know she knows you want to please her, and you talk openly about it, it's probably not a lack of skill on your part. The self-conscious thing is big on the list of reasons people can't get over. Like, huge. It's very possible that she hasn't been able to relax enough. Do you spend enough time leading up to it? The suspense kills me every time.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-09-21 14:21:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can definitely understand you there. I sometimes worry about that with my lady because its been difficult to get her to finish when I'm down that way. She quivers and shakes while its going on, but she says she thinks about the act to much and cant get her head in the right place to "get over the ridge" so to speak. I often worry that its something I'm doing or maybe she just isnt that turned on by me but is it possible for a girl to just not get her head right in this respect? She swears that im doing everything right, but she's very self concious and its hard for her to relax.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-09-21 14:17:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-09-21 13:49:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hmmmmm "eating out" is a gross term. I prefer "going down" or "eating at the Y"
and Saccy, what if you encounter a man that doesnt know what he's doing? do you educate? Is there some sort of class that those who do not meet the standard can take in order to increase their ability?
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Every straight man should know the ABC's trick. There's bound to be at least one letter that works.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-21 14:14:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-21 14:08:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-09-21 13:49:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and Saccy, what if you encounter a man that doesnt know what he's doing? do you educate?
==
I've been pretty lucky in that I haven't met anyone with a major lack of skill in a long time. But if someone has a style that doesn't give me what I need, I'll either use dirty talk to tell what I want (reduces embarrassment for the giver) or if there's a certain scene on video that turns me on, I'll share it, or I'll show what I do to myself to get me there. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out the self-oral yet, but otherwise, it usually pays off.
I know some women get offended when men suggest that if their partners can't satisfy them sexually, they leave. And you know, depending on the priorities and the delivery,that doesn't necessarily make someone a selfish or shallow person- it's an important part of an intimate relationship. I wouldn't be happy if my man didn't know how to go down, and do it like I need it (or at least learn how). So within reason, it would be unfair to expect any different from him.
I know there are classes available, but I'd rather school him myself if he's worth it, you know?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-21 14:00:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whenever I see that picture I think "awwww looks like she had a Real Good Time."
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-09-21 13:49:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hmmmmm "eating out" is a gross term. I prefer "going down" or "eating at the Y"
and Saccy, what if you encounter a man that doesnt know what he's doing? do you educate? Is there some sort of class that those who do not meet the standard can take in order to increase their ability?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-09-21 13:44:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-09-21 13:40:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
now this i like
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-21 13:13:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This reminded me of a fair number of chicas that I've known.
A lot of women seem to have a problem with this, at least initially.
One of my favorite things in the whole wide world too, though.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-09-21 13:05:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This reminds me of a party I attended along with a group of motorcycle enthusiasts.
I remember it well because I was lucky enough to be #2 in line.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2007-09-21 13:04:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh ya...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:52:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Now I'm hungry for some snatch.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:48:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bleugh
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:46:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
set yourself on fire.
do it.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:43:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sacrilicious thinks she can bitch cuz she's an old user
===
Is this your weekly attempt, Caul? I gave an opinion relevant to the post, just the way it's supposed to work. It's not like I told the guy to set himself on fire.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:41:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this made me incredibly uncomfortable.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sacrilicious thinks she can bitch cuz she's an old user
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:39:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
um......? i got nothin
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:33:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:26:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:23:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:13:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's gross. I fucking hate it when people compare girl bits with the sea. It's degrading.
_____________
fucking...WAH.
===
I know the steroid sweat is so pungent you have no idea what you're eating, but I actually give a fuck about hygiene.
____________
My aroma is a perfect combination of leather and gunpowder.
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:31:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"PLZ STOP CALLING IT EATING OUT I GET OFFENDED WHEN I HEAR THAT!1"
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:29:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
you said "bits" huh huh huh
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:28:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Swing and a miss, strike 462 for Oathy.
You are the most consistently unfunny person on Uber...maybe in Georgia.
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:26:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:24:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll eat out anything that breathes.*
*Must weigh at least 235lbs and be alive to qualify for services.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:26:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:23:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:13:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's gross. I fucking hate it when people compare girl bits with the sea. It's degrading.
_____________
fucking...WAH.
===
I know the steroid sweat is so pungent you have no idea what you're eating, but I actually give a fuck about hygiene.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:24:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll eat out anything that breathes.*
*Must weigh less than 135lbs and have a vagina to qualify for services.
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:23:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:13:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's gross. I fucking hate it when people compare girl bits with the sea. It's degrading.
_____________
fucking...WAH.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:17:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Enjoyable.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:14:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
heh.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-21 12:13:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's gross. I fucking hate it when people compare girl bits with the sea. It's degrading. And it's called SOAP for fuck's sake.
I also hate the term "eat out." Sounds cannibalistic.
The actual experience, though? My favorite thing in the whole wide world.