Way out, in the water, See it Swimmin (NSFW Image) (1830 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.63 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by NintendoCzar The Horny (View user info) at 2007-09-23 01:30:12 EDT
A nice long story for a nice long walk.
I went for a nice, long walk today. I'm a gamer, so you know these are rare (LOL!). Actually, I go on many walks now, between diapers and despair, and they usually allow my mind to wander around the outside world. Usually, I'll contemplate solutions to my amounting problems, and then I'll end up missing the peace that should come from an epic walk. However, when my mind started doing this today, I had already walked so fucken far I told my mind to shut the fuck up and moved on. I also took a cue from a few movies I've seen lately that were cult classics. I'm not going to name them, but each one had the undermining theme of "stop giving such a damn and maybe you'll get somewhere". Replace that with whatever one word can be used to convey that idea, and you got it. Anyway, so on my walk, I was so tired, and thirsty, I started to think about a Super Mario Brothers Super Show episode where Mario and the gang are walking the desert and they keep seeing mirages. The rest of the episode is awesome, and I only need to say that it ends with "Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf. In that train of thought, I began to imagine what my mirage would be, or what my ideal event would be at that very instant. This is when my walk took a turn for the awesome ("oops, two awesomes, now three, I guess I better -2 die this NOW, ROFLCOPTER (oh, I wasn't going to, but that roflcopter, damn, oh well -2)). Okay, "this is where my walk took a turn.." yadda yadda here's my hallucination:
So I'm walking. Man, I'm so tired...Whoa...that is the hottest chick I've ever seen. She's wearing a tight grey shirt, maroon shorts (emphasis short), and a smile created by perfect teeth. She's blonde with green eyes (why not?), and they are most likely contacts, but I'm not one to argue. She is just standing there, with a pitcher of ice cold tea in one hand, and lemonade in the other. If this is some sort of lemonade stand, I'm buying one of everything until she comes home with me. Alas, it is not, but she does confront me.
Girl 1: Excuse, sir! Care to have something to drink? You look mighty thirsty.
Me: *removes headphones* Uh, sure, I'll stop for a quick drink...
Girl 1: Great! What'll you have, tea or lemonade, or me *cutesy giggle*
Me: Haha, well, I'd like a tall glass of tea if you don't mind (smooth as always)
Girl 1: Alrighty! Shoot, I forgot a cup...I'll just step inside to grab one. It's really hot out here, why don't you come in for a bit?
Me: Well, I do need to continue my jog...But, for you, I'll make an exception (haha, I'm on fire!)
Once inside, I notice a few things about the place. The carpet is sky blue, and the walls are painted with the traditional white. I'm totally digging the carpet, it gives me the feel that I'm walking on air, or water, and it's soft on my now bare feet. You see, this girl has a policy of no shoes and no shirt, so I had to take off both before leaving the step in area. The house looks to have three bedrooms, a huge living room with a giant leather couch, and a spacey kitchen.
Girl 1: Hey Mira, can you please help me find a good cup for our friend?
Mira comes from one of the bedrooms, and I hear "Where is My Mind" once she opens her door. Not a bad song, not a bad song at all...
Mira: Oh Lucy, you can never find a thing...Oh hello there! Lucy didn't say it was a gentleman friend. *giggle* In that case, I'll find a nice big glass just for you.
I'm too stunned to speak. Mira is just as beautiful as Girl numb- I mean, Lucy. She has brown hair, curly, and nice big lips. She's got a nice "booty", and the words "GO TEAM" are printed in white on her short red shorts. Go team, indeed. Unlike Lucy, who is white complected Mira is tanned, dark enough to compliment her hair, but light enough to notice it's not a natural bronze. As she disappears into the kitchen, Lucy politely offers me another suggestion.
Lucy: You know, I'm having some trouble finding a cup, why don't you take a seat on the couch?
Me: Oh, well- (my mind has gone into tongue tie)- Uh, sure.
I sit down, but out of the corner of my ear, I hear the two girls whispering something, but I can't clearly make it out. I don't turn around to avoid detection, and instead stare at their 61 inch TV. It's not on, but it seems that they have a Nintendo Wii, and it's on.
Me: Hey, uh, Lucy, or Mira...You're Wii is still on, do you want me to turn it off?
Lucy: Oh, hm, I wonder if Tonya left it on again..Tonya! Did you leave on the Wii?!
And, as if I haven't already been given enough presents, Santa puts a nice, red haired bombshell in my lap. Tonya emerges from her room, no music coming from it, and she's in her PJs. She looks tired, and confirms that she is.
Tonya: Yes...I stayed up all night playing Mario Kart AGAIN! I'm so tir...Hey, you, how are you doing? Wow, you have the honor of being the first guy in our new home!
Me: Haha, well, uh...What an honor, I must say. Hey, so, are you playing now? Which Mario Kart are you playing?
Tonya rushed over to sit next to me. She is wearing an aqua green tank top and the pants are green "1-Up Mushroom" that go all the way down to her red painted toenails. She's not as endowed as Lucy, nor does have the awesome ass of Mira, but she's that special cute where you'd do her over the other two in an instant.
Tonya: I'm playing Mario Kart for the GameCube. See, the Wii one is coming out next year and I wanna be ready before I get Smash Bros and forget about Mario Kart. I LOVE Mario games, he's so cute!!! Here, let me show you where I'm at...
Tonya turns on the TV and finally Lucy and Mira return from the kitchen with my glass of tea and sit down on the side of me opposite to Tonya. I had forgotten how thirsty I was until I sipped down half the glass.
Lucy: I'm glad Mira found the big one! You were probably dying over here, I'm so sorry!
Mira: Yeah, Lucy is a bit of a klutz *giggle*
Lucy: Oh Mira, you're so bad! *hits Mira with sofa pillow*
Mira: Hehe. Tonya, don't bore us with the level you're on, let's all play together!
Tonya: Oh...Alright.
I can tell that Tonya is quite torn. I decide to intervene.
Me: Well, ladies, why don't I help Tonya real quick, and then we get into a match. I need to warm up anyway..
All 3: Sounds like a good idea!
Tonya lets me play through her level, and then we save and start up a 4 player session. I'm too nervous to even look at the girls. I don't know which deity to thank first, and my mind begins to wander away, causing me to place last in the match. Fudge.
Me: Wow, you ladies are good! You all must play all the time!
Mira: Well, Tonya plays the most, as you can probably tell, she's our resident nerd. Lucy plays sometimes, but her and I spend more time outside at the pool....Hey, speaking of which, I think today would be a great day to go out to the pool, don't y'all? (This is in Texas, folks)
Lucy: Oh yeah, I just got this new blue suit I wanted to model off, and who better than our studdly friend here!
Tonya: Hmm, yeah, let's go out...But dude, you can't make fun of my suit.
Me: Why's that?
Tonya: Well...See, I have this thing where I like pink..So it's a bright pink top..But I also like purple, so the thong part is purple, and it totally doesn't match!
....Well, Tonya either was teasing me or has really low self-esteem. I prayed for low self-esteem.
Me: Oh, Tonya, that's not a problem! I mean, I don't even HAVE a suit to wear...
Lucy: Oh drat, Mira didn't think about that! Hey Mira (who has exited the room and walked towards the back) What will- Hey, we didn't get your name?
Me: Oh me? Just call me Dude (haha, so smooth)
Tonya: Haha! Dude! I love that movie!
Lucy: Alright, What will "Dude" wear to swim?!
Mira: (3 seconds of silence) Well, I guess we'll just have to go skinny dipping!
Lucy: I don't know, maybe that's too much to handle for the "Dude"
I thought for a second, and came to the conclusion that it was too much for me. However, I told my mind to shut the fuck up.
Me: Oh no, I've done it before, are you all sure you'll be okay with it? I don't want you all to be uncomfortable....
Tonya and Lucy stared at each other and then began to laugh so hard that Tonya started rolling on the floor. She got back up and assured me they would be quite alright with it.
So we turned off the Wii and headed outside to the pool. They had a medium sized pool that took up most of their backyard. It has some of those squishy noddle toys you always see kids play with nowadays. The girls stripped down and then waited for me to do the same. I don't know if it was the Tea or the Wii, but I ripped those clothes off and dived right in, emerging inside a circle that the girl's three bodies created. They laughed as I splash them with a little water. Unfortunately, the cold water had the "Constanza" effect on me at first, but after a few minutes with Lucy, I shook it off. The hard part was keeping my boy down. However.....
Lucy: Well, well, I see the Dude is excited about our pool *winks*
Me: *blushing* Hah, well, um...
Lucy: Oh, don't be embarrassed. I mean, I don't blame you. Aren't they cute?
Me: You're not too bad yourself (YES! Smooth comes back, thanks brain!)
Lucy: Hehe, well, thank you....Hey, it's getting hot out here...Maybe we should go inside for a bit?
Me: That sounds...fantastic.
We leave the other girls, and Lucy turns to tell them we'll be back in a minute. I hope I can last that long. Lucy grabs my hand before I can wrap a towel around me and rushes me inside. I concluded that her room was the only one with the door closed, left of the other two rooms. She thrusts me on her bed and...Wow....Tea..Wii...Pool...Sex...This can't get any better. It does, because I last 2 minutes instead of one!
Lucy: Phew, man, I needed that. That was perfect timing too, because the last guy would take way too long.
Me: How long ago was that?
Lucy: Hm, well, I'm 24, soo...5 years ago. We only did it like twice and then I swore off doing anything until I found the right one...And that's when you showed up on our doorstep!
Me: Yes, how interesting that you were standing outside...
Lucy: Well, I saw you turn the corner about 4 hours down, and I rushed inside and grabbed whatever cold drink we had in the fridge. I had a feeling about you, and I was right!
All of a sudden, Tonya walks in, Dripping wet, with a classic Nintendo controller towel.
Tonya: Hey guys- Oh man! No way Lucy, did you all....Haha, that's so cool!
Lucy looks alittle embarrassed, the first non-happy emotion she's shown since I've been there. Tonya picks up on it.
Tonya: Well, I just hope you didn't tire him out....
Lucy smiles, giggles, and then tells Tonya that I'm all hers. As Tonya pulls me away, Lucy winks at me one last time and informs me she'll be at the pool.
Tonya's room is much different from Lucy's. Lucy's room was traditional girl, and while Tonya's is pink, it's nerd pink. What's the difference? Everything Pink is because of her Princess Peach collection!
Me: Wow, I think I found someone who'd appreciate my Mario collection!
Tonya: No way, you have a Mario collection...Cool!! I love Mario...He's so..
She edges in with each word, and our lips lock before she can finish her sentence. I'm good to go in seconds, and this time I last about 20 minutes before I finally cave in. Tonya looks satisfied, sweaty, and sleepy when we're done. She lays next to me and turns.
Tonya: Wow...Wow....I always heard that nerds go the longest, but...Wow....
Me: Heh, well, I had a time trial before you got to me, so I was ready.
Her and I laughed at the nerd joke (?) and then I get up so she can get some rest. I just can't believe my luck so far today. It's been an amazing day....As I step out of her bedroom, I feel the wet carpet and remember that I was swimming 22 minutes ago. That's right....Mira! Crap, I better go outside ASAP before she comes in and wants sex. I need a break!!
I step back outside to see Mira and Lucy in a far corner of the pool talking. As I step out Lucy swims over to me and whispers to me that she told Mira about our "Adventure" and that I may have another customer lined up. Usually this would be good news but- oh fuck it, it's great news. I attempt to stale Mira as long as I can though. Lucy walks inside and Mira and I spend some time alone. She tells me how much she likes sports. I'm not a sports-nut, but I am a guy, and I enjoy basketball. We talk about our city team, and get into how well they are going to do next season. The talk lasts a good 45 minutes, and finally I feel I'm ready for one last march.
Me: Oh wow, everyone went inside...Maybe we should too? I heard you blasting out a song earlier, it sounded cool.
Mira: You wanna come to my room and have a listen? They say I have good taste in music.
We head inside, and you can imagine the next scene as the one from Clockwork Orange where the main character has those two girls from the record store in his room. Yes, Mira was one women, but it was so great the third time it was like having two there. This time I only last 15 minutes...But for some reason, I don't get soft on her. We go again. And once more. These bouts last about 10 minutes each before Mira finally taps out.
Mira's bed is wet, smells like sex and chloride, and Mira's face looks quite exhausted.
Mira: *catching breath* Wow...Wow....
Me: I don't know what got into...
Mira: Well, I know what got into me! That was fucken fantastic...Wow, I'm good for a month. I mean, unless you come back tomorrow *winks*
Me: Haha, I hope I can walk home after all this, I'm so..tired...
I drift away. I don't know if it was the Tea, the Wii, the Chloride, the Pixies, or the Sex, but something knocked me out.
When I open my eyes I'm outside, dripping wet with sweat, and in front of my house. I look around to confirm my location. I don't know how I got there, but my legs are tired, and I head inside. My head is dizzy....Did that all just happen? I need to find that house! Crap, I don't remember the street name, I don't know how I got there, I don't know...
I run back outside and look both ways to see if I can somehow remember which way I went. I can't...I can't remember anything except the- Why the fuck is my neighbor starring at me?
Me: Hey, what's up?
Neighbor: Oh, sorry to stare, I just wanted to make sure you're okay (my neighbor is an 18 year old girl, nothing particular about her one way or another).
Me: Why is that?
Neighbor: Because you've been standing there for about 2 hours with your eyes closed. I was going to call the cops, but you seemed to be enjoying yourself. *glances down*
Oh fuck. Fuck you mirages. Fuck you indeed.
User Reviews
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-09-26 19:34:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-09-24 15:39:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
had to read it 2wice...I grok now
I like boobs under water, they do different things
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-09-24 10:50:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-24 09:19:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i enjoyed it.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-24 09:16:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-09-24 09:08:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-09-23 20:07:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's like a Nirvana album cover, but with boobies.
Submitted by Surgeon (user info) at 2007-09-24 08:31:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
rongeur..
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-09-24 07:41:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-09-24 00:33:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This entertained me.
You kept fucking it up, but the next line or two made up for it. Nice work.
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Not very original, no. But, I'll be damned if I haven't had dreams about these same three chicks.
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-09-24 04:32:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
came for the image, left a +1
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-09-24 01:08:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
pixies
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2007-09-24 00:53:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i am un chien andalusia
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-09-24 00:33:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This entertained me.
You kept fucking it up, but the next line or two made up for it. Nice work.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-23 20:29:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-09-23 20:07:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's like a Nirvana album cover, but with boobies.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-09-23 18:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sigh
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-09-23 17:20:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how very original
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-23 11:30:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hehe. looks like fake boobs to me..but nevermind.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-23 10:35:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Vamos a jugar por la playa!
Submitted by ramirez60 (user info) at 2007-09-23 06:46:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-09-23 05:32:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-09-23 03:06:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah.
(sigh)
yeah.
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-09-23 02:16:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i laughed