Real story tellin' (519 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -0.87 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Respek! (View user info) at 2007-09-25 08:13:22 EDT
He opened his eyes with the sunrise, light coming in from the bare window. It was far too hot for covers, or pajamas for that matter. He felt sticky, like he shouldn't move or else his flesh would peel off the couch in that prickily stickily manner. Forcing back his grogginess, he forced himself off the couch and onto the hardwood floor. His unshaven face and unbrushed mouth felt infested with microbes and bacteria, and other such nasties. He looked down at his skinny, hairy, naked body, and wondered whether it would cost him more to do a load of laundry or to by new boxers. Then this olfactory started running; the smell hit him...he needed a shower, and soap,
and friends...
"NO! Fuck that! people are horrible, annoying assholes. Yeah, I like being alone..." He thought to himself.
He took his mind off of it. He stretched out, and walked naked towards the bare window. He felt very exposed, not because of the nudity per se, but because the couch, the window, and a small collection of prescription pills and liquor bottles held him company in this vaccous hardwood shanty. A long time ago, this room would have been used as a guest house to a big manor house. But now, there's no longer a manor house, just a guest house for whoever happened to be passing by.
The sweat on his forehead was beginning to set in. He felt gross, and lonely. Maybe it would be nicer outside...
Still naked, he started climbing out the window, the door had been jammed shut for years now. His gangly arms could barely support his weight as he lifted himself up and over the ledge. One swift motion, and his feet touched grass. All around him was nature, dense nettle bushes, overgrown weeds, twangy broken trees, and dandelions. The air was heavy with morning dew, and the sun was peeking out of the tree limbs. His gritty-gross feeling started going away.
"MMMMMMMmmmmm....nature." He thought to himself. He didn't even care he was naked. It was almost fitting.
He closed his eyes and breathed deep the heavy air, prompting him to start thinking about last night.
"What happened, I just remember drunken fragments..." He thought to himself. "OH yeah, that's right, I was gonna finish my job last night, but I was too drunk to go on. Maybe I can get a good whack at things this morning."
He looked down at his penis. It was erect.
He trotted down to the other side of the house, where a naked, tied up, twelve year old girl was passed out uder the strength of the ropes. He ran up to her in a few quick leaps and shouted, "WAKE UP BITCH! ITS PART-AY TIME!! TAKE TWO!"
He grabbed her waist, and jammed his erect penis into her anus. She awoke with a scream of pain on her supple young face. She started to cry again, it was so loud. He had a solution. He quickly pulled his erect penis out of her anus, and started to bludgeon her skull with it. She became near-deathly silent after a good thirty whacks.
"Finally," He thought to himself, "Now I can hear myself think!" So in celebration, he grabbed his erect penis, and forced it back into her anus, and began pumping away. He closed his eyes with a chuckle. "This is so great, much better than starbucks in the morning." He thought to himself.
User Reviews
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-07 16:19:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
uhhhhh no.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-09-27 00:03:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Too bad this wasn't good story tellin'
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-25 18:46:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-09-25 12:23:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
is that the uberbombers shack??
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-25 11:47:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I *almost* refused to expend the effort on this rating, but this sorely deserves a banishing off of the front page.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-09-25 11:29:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I could almost + you for Lostnphounds review. But I won't. Where on earth did you pull this piece of crap from you disturbed sicko.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-25 11:19:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-25 08:27:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ugh...
Give me back the three minutes of my life that I just wasted on this drivel.
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2007-09-25 11:01:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I could eat a bowl of alpha bits cereal and shit a better story than that...
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-09-25 10:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I feel dirty.
Submitted by Respek (user info) at 2007-09-25 09:55:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It was real story tellin' is what it was.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-09-25 09:31:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-09-25 08:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy Christ. What WAS That?
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-09-25 09:31:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You started off great, then you took that detour straight into retard-ville.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-09-25 08:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy Christ. What WAS That?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-25 08:36:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh i know not why, but I laugh at all of these guys posts.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-25 08:27:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ugh...
Give me back the three minutes of my life that I just wasted on this drivel.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-09-25 08:22:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i was thinking about a short story where an American soldier rapes a North Korean soldier within the DMZ where the line of the 38th Parallel runs across tables and I was going to call it "7'6" Behind Enemy Lines"
I just haven't felt like actually doing it...can you write it for me?
Submitted by Respek (user info) at 2007-09-25 08:21:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHAHAHAHA HOW DYA LIKE ME NOW!!?!?!
Submitted by Zackstersmackster (user info) at 2007-09-25 08:20:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Child restraint and molestation. Sick motherfucker. There are better things than that to write (even fiction) about, to be sure. Get some counseling.