UGR- Last Man Forfeiting - Plus, Bonus camwhore where Shlongy scores with another random broad! (3266 hits)
Category: Politics -> IraqRating: 1.14 on 214 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ShlongyHatesContests (View user info) at 2007-09-25 23:37:15 EDT
...So I was balls deep in this chick, pumping away like there was no tomorrow. The first Clash album was on the turntable, carnked to 11...all I could hear was "I'm so borrrrrred with the U...S...A..." and that was just helping me wail away on this chick's hot little shaven snatchbox. In...out...In...out...like a fucking piston. Fuckin' A man...she was as wet as Niagara Falls...only she smelled way better than that. She was screaming, "Don't stop now, Adolf" and I didn't plan on stopping anytime soon. We had snorted so much blow that I couldn't feel my dick, but by the way she was screaming, moaning, and squirting, she sure could. The harder I pumped, the more she laughed...and the more the whipped cream and sprinkles went flying. I was just about to pull out and shoot my load of jiz
WTF?
Oh...I'm sorry. I'm not very competent with this word processor and I guess part of my letter somehow got attached to this post. So pretend you didn't see that and let's get down to the task at hand...writing a UGR (What the fuck DOES UGR stand for?) story that can beat Fey and win the championship.
OK...here goes.
I got nothin'.
Oh, yeah. Let me tell you about my night out last night.
You probably noticed that I didn't review as much as usual today. I was a little tired...had a big night out last night. What happened was it was one of my account executives' last day yesterday. He's leaving for "greener pastures" but instead of being bitter, or at least SHOWING my bitterness, we decided to go out for drinks. Well, I was buying, as usual, and after about 45 minutes, I was bored hanging out with my co-workers - a real snooze-fest - so I hung out up at the bar and struck up a conversation with some of the random chicks at the bar. Well, after I bought these broads about 4 drinks, either I was becoming more interesting - and better looking - or they were getting pretty smashed. So was I, but you couldn't even tell. I'm too cool to act hammered. Like, for example, gnarls barkley. Oh, and Kaos King. PS. And Electro.
Anyway, I guess these chicks were in town on a business trip and they told me that they were subscribing to that age old unwritten rule - once they are out of their home state, or at least 8 zip codes away from home, I guess they're "not considered married" in the state of South Carolina. Which was fine by me.
Since I last had sex at home probably 3 weeks ago, Shlongy Jr., in addition to feeling ignored and mistreated, with also feeling kind of frisky. We were just sitting there bullshitting and I looked at my watch. It was about 10pm which meant one of two things had to happen fast.
Either I had to get my ass home...or I had to get some ass.
I chose the latter option, or option 2, if you will.
I think I had my choice of any of the 4...but something about the chick in the hat just felt right...it felt very familiar to me. So I chose her.
It started with me innocently grabbing a handful...or four, of this broads great rack. It gave me wood.
And, I think you can pretty much figure out for yourself what happened after that.
I never did get her name but what the fuck did that matter? I'll probably never see her again.
Anyway, as usual I will be called a liar - and also a dipshit, a fag, "Shlongy" , a "forfeiter" and a "crappy writer". Only one of those accolades are true.
As usual, I supply photographic evidence of this sexual conquest.
I would have taken more pictures but as usual, my camera malfunctioned when I tried to take the pictures of me mounting her from the rear. And I wore my cowboy boots in the rack.
The end.
User Reviews
Submitted by RestrictionsApply (user info) at 2008-10-21 22:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2007-12-24 14:36:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-01 18:40:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"But these go to 11".
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-11-01 16:25:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-11-01 14:54:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"CRANK THAT FISHER-PRICE GUITAR UP TO 11!!!"
____________
Spinal Tap reference = auto +2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-30 16:35:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nope...No assistant. Unbelievable.
As a result, I have to actually type out my own Ubersite reviews and comments.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-30 16:32:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-30 12:34:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I wish.
I also wish that I actually HAD a secretary.
===
Hey, I thought you were a DOS or something. How can you function WITHOUT one?
(I wouldn't want my Office Mgr/Admin Assistant to the DOS job back for less than a 20K raise, even though the DOS was my friend and the position was mine from the start.)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-30 14:58:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HOMO BELOW!
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2007-10-30 14:54:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
stalker
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-25 16:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are those really Tiger's globes?
-Captain Thorns
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-24 15:27:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nice, Danny.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2007-10-24 15:14:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lumberyard
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-24 15:12:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh, him?
That was no one...just some drunk who horned in on Shlongy's action.
Where the fuck have YOU been...jail?
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2007-10-24 14:49:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow. Who's the fat fuck you erased out of those pictures?
I bet he's got a wicked slice.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-24 13:16:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is McDonald's and you can suck my McBalls.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-24 13:03:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When you say broad you ain't kiddin' pal.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-24 12:58:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Who's the newest incredibly unfunny alter/retard below?
Submitted by pillowcase (user info) at 2007-10-24 12:43:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You post on here, you've got nothing at all to say.
You think your cool, but we all know your ghey.
You don't spell check
You don't proof read.
You post your crap up here for the world to see...
But theirs nothing we can do.
cept give you a -2!
cept give you a -2!
Don't take it personally,
but -2 die
Don't get all teary,
your post makes baby jebus cry
But theirs nothing we can do......
cept give you -2!!!!!!!!!
cept give you -2!!!!!!!!!
Your post screams out "help me"
I'm not that bright
I'm sure you're smarter then this
but capitlize your "I"'s
But theirs nothing we can do.....
cept give you -2!!!!!!!!!
cept give you -2!!!!!!!!!
Fetish says "har har peener"
Mickginny says "kill yourself"
Bart leaves a no comment
hm hm hm hm rhymes with "peener"
But theirs nothing we can do......
cept give you -2!!!!!!!!!
cept give you -2!!!!!!!!!
Post something Funny,
Not plagerized
If you Cut and paste e-mails
God kills a baby bunny.
But theirs nothing we can do......
cept give you -2!!!!!!!!!
cept give you -2!!!!!!!!!
Don't you dare post poo,
like you just did
Wait till you have something to say,
to earn a +2.
But theirs nothing we can do......
cept give you -2!!!!!!!!!
cept give you -2!!!!!!!!!
CEPT GIVE YOU A -2!!!!!!
CEPT GIVE YOU A -2!!!!!!
Submitted by pillowcase (user info) at 2007-10-24 12:32:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
For Being Such A Suck Up And A Wack Off For Unabonger And Having A Big Cunt For A Pair Of Lips. Making Unabonger Stick His Pecker In Your Cunt Lips...
CUNT
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-23 11:53:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah, but i sure hate the hype that they are piling on Colorado..."21 out of the last 22 games, blah blah, blah I JUST CREAMED MYSELF"..
but i can't deny that it is a pretty fucking impressive thing. their offense has been nothing short of legendary.
add to that the fact that i hate manny ramirez and i'm with you. Colorado for the win.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-23 11:42:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Even though I am an American League fan, I will be rooting for Colorado and their minimum wage earning squad.
I'm a fan of Tony T, Hawpe, Holliday, Atkins, Spillbrough....Great bats.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-23 11:40:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
even cranky geriatrics have to follow the rules, shlongy
are you going to bother watching this snoozefest of a world series? if so, who do you like to win it?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-04 13:18:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It went over so well, I'm using this exact post in EVERY contest for the rest of my Uber life.
I think it can make the finals in this latest contest, too.
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2007-10-04 11:54:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I somehow missed rating this the first time.
I'm an asshole.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2007-09-30 04:47:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-09-28 18:43:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tigerlilly hasn't talked to me since I showed my cock at her wedding.
-----------------
do you do childrens partys too?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-29 18:10:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice purchase... I haven't played Ping irons in 20 years.
I don't play golf anymore...I'm too wrapped upplaying poker on the weekends...and weeknights BUT...
I DO foresee some beautiful fall golf in my future...now that it's not 100 degrees out every day down here.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-09-29 17:13:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dude you wear some BAD shirts.
In other news, I got my Ping G10's yesterday.
They are the greatest single purchase I've ever made.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-28 18:44:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That's strange...when I showed her my cock, you couldn't shut her up.
You still can't.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-09-28 18:43:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tigerlilly hasn't talked to me since I showed my cock at her wedding.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-28 10:27:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm too young- and hip - to be anyone's granddad.
Shlongy's a hipster doofus.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-09-28 06:29:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish you were my grandad
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-27 16:54:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read that as 'Shlongy is the big toad of ubersite'
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:42:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-09-27 11:32:17 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-27 09:23:30 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do, it's usually something exotic..."
--------
SHLONGY IS THE BIG TOE OF UBERSITE
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-09-27 12:26:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's like waiting for Christmas innit, Shlongy?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-27 12:18:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-27 11:54:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-27 09:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So, did Shlongy win?
OR WAS THIS CONTEST A BIG WASTE OF MY TIME?
===
Stay tuned tomorrow for the EXCITING CONCLUSION.
--------------------------
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-27 12:10:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Not HIM, you silly whore....YOU.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-27 12:08:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brdn_Nkd?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-27 12:07:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think that the winner should have to email erotic pictures of themselves to the 2nd place finisher.
That would be the prize for second.
Also, the contest organizer should do the same.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-27 11:54:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-27 09:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So, did Shlongy win?
OR WAS THIS CONTEST A BIG WASTE OF MY TIME?
===
Stay tuned tomorrow for the EXCITING CONCLUSION.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-09-27 11:18:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Randy old coot. You see? That's the charm that puts you at #1 with the People of Uber!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-27 11:03:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I do like to engage in 69 with my female competitors.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-09-27 10:51:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Would you have it any other way?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-27 10:35:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Number 8714 in the Uber rankings...Number 1 in Uber's hearts.
That's Shlongy.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-09-27 10:32:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
But you're always a winner in the peoples' hearts, dear.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-27 09:37:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It should be a competition on who has the wittiest remarks
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-27 09:36:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ratings???
There's a way to RATE posts on this site?
NOW you tell me.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-27 09:34:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
whoever has the highest rating peewee
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-27 09:33:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy will lose to Fey
i see the headlines now
FEY WHIPS SHLONGY
FEY SPANKS SHLONGY
and so on
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-27 09:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How can we tell who's winning?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-27 09:32:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
well that made no difference
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-27 09:32:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-27 09:27:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, it was a waste of EVERYONE'S time. :)
But, for the record, I believe you are still trailing on this round.
C'MON OLD MAN, DROP SOME TROU AND GET WITH THE PROGRAM
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-27 09:18:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So, did Shlongy win?
OR WAS THIS CONTEST A BIG WASTE OF MY TIME?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-27 08:41:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 16:26:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's because Thorns is an idiot.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-26 16:11:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha - I love how I get a shout-out with about 6 reviews, and Cap'n Thorns doesn't after he has an anurism heating this..
-------------------------------
MOMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
SHLONGY'S MAKING FUN OF MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
*mwah*
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-09-27 00:10:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, so you hung out with Tiger Lilly. Whoopee.
Did she at least blow you?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-09-26 23:52:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-09-26 23:51:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Two for you and...
-------
...two for you.
Go D'backs, ya bastards.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-09-26 22:12:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why not
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-09-26 18:51:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 17:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No fucking way...
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME???
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-09-26 17:53:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit on a shingle. Why I think that is me.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 16:26:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's because Thorns is an idiot.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-26 16:11:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha - I love how I get a shout-out with about 6 reviews, and Cap'n Thorns doesn't after he has an anurism heating this..
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 16:07:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Number one with a bullet.
Thank you, alters.
And, Crystle, for my usual number 1 heat.
This is TOOOOOO fucking easy.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-26 15:25:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cough coughcoughlinkwhore cough
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-09-26 11:36:40 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:14:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i no longer have access to that account...don't have the password nor can I remember the email account so its gone forever...stuck at 250 posts but amazingly has gained 20k hits since I stopped using it.
-----
Oh. However does that happen?
Submitted by crosschris (user info) at 2007-09-26 15:24:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gotta hand it to ya - YOU ARE ONE FUNNY MUTHA FUKA! :-)
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-26 15:23:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-09-26 13:01:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:38:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.jibjab.com/starring_you/receipt/980603
SHLONGY DOES THE CANASTA!
Click it, goddamn it!
---
Fuck...Yeah!
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2007-09-26 14:51:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yaaaaaaay Shlongy! :D
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-09-26 14:36:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:14:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i no longer have access to that account...don't have the password nor can I remember the email account so its gone forever...stuck at 250 posts but amazingly has gained 20k hits since I stopped using it.
-----
Oh. However does that happen?
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-09-26 14:36:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112012
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-09-26 14:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:38:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.jibjab.com/starring_you/receipt/980603
SHLONGY DOES THE CANASTA!
--------------------------
Awesome.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-09-26 14:31:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-09-26 13:01:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:38:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.jibjab.com/starring_you/receipt/980603
SHLONGY DOES THE CANASTA!
Click it, goddamn it!
---
dear god that is wonderful
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-09-26 14:26:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111642
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 13:39:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn streaming media blocked at work...I'll have to check this out later from home.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-09-26 13:01:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:38:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.jibjab.com/starring_you/receipt/980603
SHLONGY DOES THE CANASTA!
Click it, goddamn it!
===
the pelvic thrusting about halfway through made me laugh my ass off
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:52:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I remember getting an email forward about 5 years of ago of GW Bush doing a JibJab dance and it always cracked me up...even if I thought GWB is a fucking douche.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:48:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There's a ton of those jibjab ones you can make yourself, this one just seemed the most fitting. Almost did you and Ghola doing some disco dancing.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:45:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nahhhhhh...You're still on the first list.
Apologies are always accepted.
See, isn't this contest fun?
We get to meet all kinds of new people.
Who are the same as the old people...but what the fuck.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:43:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry, Shlongy. The million dollar prize pot for UGR clouded my judgement temporarily. I'm okay now.
And for the record, even though I may have moved to your second list, you're a screw.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:40:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i know :-(
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP whenever the vicinity is right, you know...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:40:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I did....bauahauahahahahahahahahahahaha
I didn't know that Shlongy could wiggle his groinal area like that!
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:38:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.jibjab.com/starring_you/receipt/980603
SHLONGY DOES THE CANASTA!
Click it, goddamn it!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:37:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's too bad...because we were in rare form - OK, maybe not so "rare" - but we had a great time in SF.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:36:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know I missed you - hazard of the lillipution, no doubt
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:35:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's what I'm thinkin'...but maybe she just misses Shlongy.
Most of them do.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:34:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wouldn't it be cheaper to just ship the leg back and forth?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:33:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think she's on a plane flying down to either:
1) have more sex with me
b) Kick me in the nads
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:30:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
or herself, for that matter
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't believe Method hasn't stopped by...I AM grabbing his broads' rack, after all...
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:24:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It was either me or MeTHod. I lost the straw draw. :(
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:22:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The only reason I post at all is to allow Uber to have a "playground" or an "outlet" for immature behavior.
And y'all NEVER disappoint.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:21:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Aaaaaaaaaand I'm spent.
*wipes sweat from brow*
Was it good for you, Shlongy?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:20:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*asplodes*
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:20:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
REVERSE HEAT BOMB!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:20:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
REVERSE HEAT BOMB!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:20:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
REVERSE HEAT BOMB!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:20:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
REVERSE HEAT BOMB!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:20:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
REVERSE HEAT BOMB!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:20:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
REVERSE HEAT BOMB!!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:20:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
REVERSE HEAT BOMB!!!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:20:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
REVERSE HEAT BOMB!!!!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:20:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
REVERSE HEAT BOMB!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:19:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
REVERSE HEAT BOMB!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:19:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
REVERSE HEAT BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:19:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
REVERSE HEAT BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:19:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
REVERSE HEAT BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:19:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
REVERSE HEAT BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:19:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
REVERSE HEAT BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HEAT BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HEAT BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:18:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HEAT BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:18:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HEAT BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:18:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HEAT BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:18:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HEAT BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:18:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HEAT BOMB!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:18:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HEAT BOMB!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:18:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HEAT BOMB!!!!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:18:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HEAT BOMB!!!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:18:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HEAT BOMB!!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:18:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HEAT BOMB!!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:18:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HEAT BOMB!!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:17:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HEAT BOMB!!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:17:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HEAT BOMB!!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:17:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HEAT BOMB!
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:17:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by theBarron (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:10:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:09:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
annoying alters?
can i join in?
=========
FUCK OFF!
==============
Oh Sharon, you're so cute when you're angry
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:14:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i no longer have access to that account...don't have the password nor can I remember the email account so its gone forever...stuck at 250 posts but amazingly has gained 20k hits since I stopped using it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:10:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
YOU'RE ALREADY IN!
I THOUGHT YOU HAD ONE MORE...oh, and BRING BACK BAMF.
He was the only one of you I could stand.
Submitted by theBarron (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:10:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:09:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
annoying alters?
can i join in?
=========
FUCK OFF!
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:09:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
annoying alters?
can i join in?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:07:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
IT'S a "BATTLE OF THE ANNOYING ALTERS" taking place in Shlongys' UGR post...
Tell all of your friends!
Submitted by theBarron (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:04:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:03:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
AND THEN YOU'LL HAVE A RED BARON!!!
=====
IS THAT A CONFESSION OF SOME KIND OF ANAL DISEASE THAT'LL BE PASSED ONTO ME?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:03:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hehehehe
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:03:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
AND THEN YOU'LL HAVE A RED BARON!!!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:02:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
BUT I CAN STILL DUNK!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 12:02:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-09-26 11:27:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the funny thing is, having met her in person and seeing you standing next to her it gives real perspective as to how elevationally challenged you are.
I think I'm getting shorter with age but that's not a bad thing because it makes my dick appear larger.
Submitted by theBarron (user info) at 2007-09-26 11:54:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HOT WILLIE? I'LL PUT MY HOT WILLIE UP YOUR FESTERING ARSE!
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-09-26 11:48:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Holy Horseshit!
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-09-26 11:39:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-26 11:35:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You could of put some trousers on, chicken legs
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-09-26 11:35:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by theBarron (user info) at 2007-09-26 11:35:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-09-26 11:32:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Short, arrogant and stupid.
=======
YOU OR THIS POST (WHICH WAS AMAAAAZING)!?
Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-09-26 11:32:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Short, arrogant and stupid.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-09-26 11:27:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the funny thing is, having met her in person and seeing you standing next to her it gives real perspective as to how elevationally challenged you are.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 11:17:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-26 10:59:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For a final round submission I was expecting a better picture.
A shot of you doing a little jig beside Darby O'Gill, maybe.
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE BETTER THAN SHLONGY GRABBING THE BOOB OF A WELL KNOWN, STACKED, UBERITE?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 11:16:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I was being courteous...to TL.
Not to the other dork.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-26 10:59:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For a final round submission I was expecting a better picture.
A shot of you doing a little jig beside Darby O'Gill, maybe.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-09-26 10:50:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
did he ask you to white out his pic or were you jsut being courteous?
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-09-26 10:41:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh snap!
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-09-26 10:39:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
And I wore my cowboy boots in the rack.
----------------------------------------
You wore cowboy boots with those shorts and that shirt? I bet you couldnt hear anything over all those Dork Alarms going off.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 10:34:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-09-26 09:26:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i wish i had boobs to grab :(
Let SHLONGY be the judge of that.
I'm sure you more than make up for the lack of boobage with your fellatio skills.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 10:29:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-09-26 10:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111996#2534984
Hey. Why are you hit and rate whoring on a forfeiture post? Or is this another one of your asterisks?
What the fuck do YOU care, ya whore?
Ok, maybe that was a bit uncalled for. I don't care about ratings...I only care about hits.
And, getting blown.
AND THESE CONTESTS ARE HIT AVERAGE KILLERS.
Submitted by The_Hitcher (user info) at 2007-09-26 10:17:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck you, misspelled Baron! I'm far more evil than you could ever hope to imagine Shlongy boy!
Submitted by theBarron (user info) at 2007-09-26 10:17:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SOUNDS LIKE SOME WONDERFULLY EEEEVIL SHENNYS TO ME. MY BLACK CROW OF DESTRUCTION AND I FULLY APPROVE!
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-09-26 10:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111996#2534984
Hey. Why are you hit and rate whoring on a forfeiture post? Or is this another one of your asterisks?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-26 09:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*Holes
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-26 09:44:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We have missed your hole Meeley.
Submitted by ameelius (user info) at 2007-09-26 09:43:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I LOVE YOU!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-09-26 09:26:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i wish i had boobs to grab :(
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-26 09:15:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2007-09-26 09:10:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How is this post not rated a perfect +2?? It has everything. Chills, thrills, The Clash, alcohol, big racks, and even a rear mounting reference thrown in for good measure.
The PBR contest is a sham.
Submitted by Wompom (user info) at 2007-09-26 09:04:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Schlongy has no standards, apparently. Not that he could afford them.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 09:02:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Seriously though, Fey's is much better.
Though, I will round this up to a -1.5 for at least including a pic of TigerLilly in your post, and not your penis.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-26 09:01:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
UGR: U Got Robbed. :)
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-09-26 08:56:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2007-09-26 08:22:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
harpsichordless loser
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 08:17:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wait...you know HER???
LET ME IN ON THE JOKE, DAMMIT!
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2007-09-26 08:16:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the rack. Believe me, they're (not really) real...but they're spectacular.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 08:11:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Real leg"???
Whatever do you mean? Please tell!
Submitted by Surgeon (user info) at 2007-09-26 08:00:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
rare+2ectomy..
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-09-26 07:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jacque (user info) at 2007-09-26 07:21:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why is that girl shifting all of her weight to one side in both of those photos?
====================
its easier to stand on the real leg
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-09-26 07:46:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anything to get darko's ratings back.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-09-26 07:33:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jacque (user info) at 2007-09-26 07:21:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why is that girl shifting all of her weight to one side in both of those photos?
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-26 07:20:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She is remarkably unattractive in mine eyes.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2007-09-26 07:16:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My roommate has the same exact shirt and always manages to pull trim with it. I have NO idea how, since he's not even half as handsome as you.
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-26 07:01:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy will win this competition.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-26 06:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She also looks like a fat woody allen with tits
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-09-26 05:19:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That girl certainly looks game for anything.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-09-26 05:06:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I hope this gives you a leg-up on your competitor.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-09-26 04:50:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm afraid this ain't gonna do the trick, hell at least you got the chick.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-09-26 04:40:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-09-25 23:53:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I smoked a menthol cigarette tonight
^^^
I thought only niggers smoked that shit?
Camel shorts
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-09-26 03:52:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this contest is officially the most successful in teh history of ubersite.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-26 03:07:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You wore some cowboy boots in her rack?
WOW
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-26 03:01:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Respek the Shlongy!
But...
Fey's story rocked my face off.
Sorry :(
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-09-26 02:30:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tony Soprano called and wants his shirt back.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-09-26 02:30:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I was watching some movie, and for one of the songs they played in the background, some DJ (I'm assuming) had mixed The Clash and some other group covering a Clash song...it was really good.
I can't remember what it was, for I was pilled and wined up.
Oh, -1 because you could do better than that...in reference to the behemoth in the tiny hat.
Also, Spokane cares way too much about high school sports. Do I really need to see the regular season girls volleyball scores? Definitely not, the "unintentional" close-ups on high school girl spandex covered ass was ok, though.
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-09-26 02:16:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 for Shlongy.
If I knew where to send pics of my hole, I'd show you my hole.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2007-09-26 01:43:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This counts as Hookhand's +2
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2007-09-26 01:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This counts as Darko's +2.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2007-09-26 00:52:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are the undisputed King of MSPaint
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2007-09-26 00:52:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like happy endings
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-26 00:47:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Jesus, Kaelic is such a moron I almost want to change my vote.
Almost.
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-09-26 00:37:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I am pretty sure I saw you on "To catch a predator."
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-09-26 00:29:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're the only dude that can somehow stand next to a girl with pretty big boobs and still look gayer than holy hell. In conclusion please stop making posts and get back to hardening up that liver, dickface.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-26 00:22:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
huh, she does look familiarthanks for playing shlongy.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2007-09-26 00:17:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-09-25 23:53:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I smoked a menthol cigarette tonight. I will never again. that shit is for the birds. Big effeminate, shit-stabbing birds. And old women.
Give me Camel lights or give me....marlboros....or death.
---------------------------------------------------------
Camel lights, the tasty tobacco of choice. But I don't smoke. That is, I'm up to about 3 cigarettes a week courtesy of an increasing workload at work.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-26 00:08:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Who's the dude in the hat?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 00:06:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Those aren't shorts.
Those are my boxers.
Maybe I was a little drunker than I thought.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-26 00:05:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah, but the shorts scream sitcom.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 00:03:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I got a closet full of them.
You get them for every birthday after age 40.
I call them "Soprano shirts", but to each his own.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-26 00:02:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Are you the 1/2 in Two and a Half Men?
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-26 00:01:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nice Charlie Sheen shirt, by the way.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-26 00:00:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Winner of WHAT?
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-25 23:59:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The weekend before Labor Day I shot a 90 at Pebble Beach.
No fog at all. It was the most beautiful I'd ever seen it.
Then drinks at the Lodge and dinner on the pier in town.
It was a thing of beauty.
Unlike this post.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-09-25 23:58:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Winner.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-25 23:54:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought about posting this one minute after midnight to see if they would have REALLY forfeited me but that's past Shlongy's bedtime.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-09-25 23:53:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I smoked a menthol cigarette tonight. I will never again. that shit is for the birds. Big effeminate, shit-stabbing birds. And old women.
Give me Camel lights or give me....marlboros....or death.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-25 23:53:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What happened to rating the post like 4 times to get that perfect +1.27???
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-25 23:51:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I want you to have a hissy fit like when Orgasmatron fucked you in SUPA.
But I'm with you in spirit, pal.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-25 23:48:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I used to drive to the corner store...it was two houses down from my house when I lived in NY.
Could smoke a cigarette on the way there and the way back, though.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-09-25 23:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
one time I ran 30 feet. Don't even TALK to me about tired.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-25 23:44:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nah...You wouldn't want to be this tired.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-09-25 23:43:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish I were shlongy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-25 23:40:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
GIVE DARKO BACK HIS RATINGS, for chrissakes.
HASN'T THE MAN SUFFERED LONG ENOUGH???
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-09-25 23:39:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-25 23:37:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I sure hope that this fucking contest is finally over.