Post Rock Dreaming: A Rumour Confirmed. (774 hits)
Category: RomanceLabels: postrockseries
Rating: 1.18 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (View user info) at 2007-09-26 07:22:31 EDT
Part One: http://www.ubersite.com/m/110466
Precursor: http://www.ubersite.com/m/110609
Journey: http://www.ubersite.com/m/110800
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You stood with your back to me, arms wrapped around your naked breasts, gazing down at the street below. Through the open window I could hear the screams and madness.
When you turned to face me, there was a tear in your eye, in a whisper you said,
"It's actually happening. It's arrived here. There are people just..."
"Come here baby, come here."
I opened my arms to you as you treaded softly back over to the bed. Cradling you and stroking your hair I told you everything I knew...
It started as a rumour, a dark and distant and repugnant shadow of insanity that people said could never possibly reach our little island. Laughing, our politicians scoffed against any kind of protection. I first heard about this plague a month ago. I convinced myself it wasn't true. Honey, I was wrong. Thinking back now, even if I had believed, I doubt we could have done anything. Everyday there were new reports of violence, fire and brimstone just ravaging places... China, Russia, Europe...
And now it's here. There's not much we can do now. Nothing except hide.
I whispered to you,
"Kiss me, you're beautiful... These are truly the last days"
When you didn't move, I turned on my side to look at your face. There was a fire in your eyes that I'd never seen before.
"No. Fuck you, FUCK YOU BABY! "
"What?"
"If you think I'm going to just fucking lie here while we get caught up, burnt up in this, then you're wrong."
Believing in your conviction I got up and walked to the cupboard in the corner of the room. I pulled out two hiking backpacks and threw them on the bed.
"Let's go then. We'll go as far North as we can. Buy ourselves a few days at least. We'll be OK."
Madness and confusion then, as we ran about naked, packing what we thought we'd need. I heard you laughing in another room. I walked in and saw you holding an ornament your mother had given us. Your laughter turned to tears and you hurled it with real venom to the floor.
User Reviews
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-24 05:26:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THANKS FOR FUCKING UP MY PERFECT +2 YOU GUYS.
*Cuts self*
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-24 04:48:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I meant so far! Lordy.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-24 04:43:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
oooh i cant wait
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-24 04:33:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-24 08:54:13 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
As a whole, this series was breathtaking. Bravo.
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Is not finished yet!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-24 03:54:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As a whole, this series was breathtaking. Bravo.
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-09-27 06:59:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
vewwy vewwy neece... next part.. want now!!, 'kay
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-27 06:58:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh oh.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-27 06:52:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-27 11:42:05 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yes you are gay, sorry my bad.
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Where's your naked lady posts then, virgin?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-27 06:42:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yes you are gay, sorry my bad.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-27 06:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-27 11:28:46 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would prefer more nude women posts please.
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Yo. I've done like... no naked lady posts I don't think.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-27 06:28:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would prefer more nude women posts please.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-27 05:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-09-27 10:28:35 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good, want more.
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Am going to try and finish it off soon. Three more, tops.
Then I'm going to finish off the 'Fist' series I started. (http://www.ubersite.com/m/93918)
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-09-27 05:28:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good, want more.
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2007-09-27 05:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-09-27 02:11:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-27 01:40:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-26 11:40:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-26 16:39:17 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
i liked it well enough, could have gone for more too but it does stand as a piece of the whole in my opinion.
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Hooray! I hope that you meant to put piece 'of' the whole. That's bang on. 2 people get it!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-26 11:39:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i liked it well enough, could have gone for more too but it does stand as a piece of the whole in my opinion.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-26 10:08:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
She......O RLY............. of course SHE was.......Muahahahahahahaha
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-26 10:07:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rest assured that I didn't read this.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-26 10:07:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-26 15:03:12 BST (#)
Ranking: 1
Uh oh HBTS fantasies are coming out
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I'll be honest here. She was really hot.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-26 10:03:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Uh oh HBTS fantasies are coming out
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-26 10:00:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-09-26 14:49:56 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice thought, wrong forum.
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Haha. You're probably right. My old English teacher likes it though, so that's something!
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-09-26 09:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice thought, wrong forum.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-09-26 09:47:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-26 09:40:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I gave a honest rating thankyou very much.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-26 09:36:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-09-26 14:28:52 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
It doesn't stand on it's own, which I suppose is why it's part of a series. But I understand clicking on this and feeling that it is a) too short and b) not deep enough. But I liked the others (at least the one I just read, and I think I liked the two before it) so plus two for you.
I do feel, though, that you would gain from making each section a little longer and more connective. (If I just made up a word, get back to me and I'll explain what I meant. It's a Swedish thing I tried to translate.)
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I never intended them to stand on their own. They're supposed to be just snippets, snapshots if you will, of the story.
I was kind of hoping that people would have enough imagination to let themselves 'see' what they wanted out of the story.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-09-26 09:28:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It doesn't stand on it's own, which I suppose is why it's part of a series. But I understand clicking on this and feeling that it is a) too short and b) not deep enough. But I liked the others (at least the one I just read, and I think I liked the two before it) so plus two for you.
I do feel, though, that you would gain from making each section a little longer and more connective. (If I just made up a word, get back to me and I'll explain what I meant. It's a Swedish thing I tried to translate.)
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-26 07:49:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Chaos, look at the other ones. It's the whole style of the thing. You're supposed to care about them more as it goes on.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-26 07:48:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've gotta say that I didn't much care for this, mostly because you over-used italics and bold type. This is a mistake that is commen to those who don't write very much. When you feel the need to artificialy accentuate a part of your writing, it is almost a sure-fire bet that you should try to re-work it. Well-crafted writing almost always emphasises itself without external help.
Also, your characters don't seem all that sympathetic. As a reader, it is difficult for me to cere very much whether they live or die. Perhaps giving them more depth and characterization would help.
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-09-26 07:47:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Reminds me of Stephen King's Cell. Needed to be a longer entry as well.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-26 07:36:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Maybe a little choppy, I enjoyed the start but as it went on the style seemed to change. Also I found it to be a bit short but thats understandable because of the format.
Anyway it's lunch soon.
I may change my mind after.
Im a maverick you see.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-26 07:29:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's like, the worst 'constructive' criticism I've ever read.
Submitted by TheLightOfSpeed (user info) at 2007-09-26 07:28:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Could have been better, could have been worse.