The King of (663 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.59 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by baron von munchausen (View user info) at 2007-09-27 14:00:06 EDT
Once there was a man from a planet without a name, and he was king.
He enjoyed rocks; he would spend many hours admiring rocks and that they were rocks. He wasn't a rock. He was unable to be a rock. Therefore he believed that since rocks were rocks, they possessed a divine talent he did not, for he could not be a rock. And a rock could be a rock, because a rock is a rock.
He also admired flat. He was very bumpy and misshapen, he thought, and there was some very nice flat around. This flat was better than him because it could be flat. But he was king. The flat was not king.
He was the only man on the planet without a name. He did not find this peculiar. The planet had only one moon. The planet had only one sun. The planet had only one planet. That was itself. So he found it normal for the planet to have one man.
So when another man came to his planet, it was peculiar. The man was wearing a silly suit. The man took off his silly suit. Then he died. Not right after he took off his suit. But soon after. He fell over after he died, like this: thunk. Just like that. He stayed there for a while. The king looked at him. He was not impressed; this man was just a man. It was easy to be a man. The king was a man.
Several years later the king became a rock.
The king would have been very proud of himself for becoming a rock; he had been trying for a long time, and thought himself unable to become a rock. But he could not be proud, because he did not know he was a rock, because he was a rock and rocks don't know anything. Rocks also aren't king. The dead man was king now. But the old king didn't know, because he was a rock and rocks don't know anything.
Here is what the king thought:
Just like that.
User Reviews
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2007-09-28 13:24:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Interesting piece. I'm inclined to give it a higher rating as per the sway of mainly +2's, but this is how I honestly would have rated it had i not read them.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-28 11:23:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-09-27 19:05:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I expected this to do horribly.
It should have.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-28 11:08:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:45:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:03:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:01:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oddly
I liked this
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Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-09-27 22:24:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Here is what the king thought:
...
Just like that."
--
"I tried to write something Kilgore Trout might write."
------------
You certainly aim high, and in this case hit the bull's eye. Well done.
<presents soles of feet>
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-09-27 19:09:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you must be a rock then
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-09-27 19:05:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I expected this to do horribly.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-09-27 17:25:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:03:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:01:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oddly
I liked this
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-09-27 15:45:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
better than your first attempts.
re: name calling/insult slinging/ negativity in general:
Welcome to Uber.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:55:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
After the first paragraph, I was all set to -2, and move on.
Luckily, I kept going.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:48:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hard to believe that you're the same person who posted the previous drivel.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:47:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read it, but you broke Uber +2
The King of (1 hits)
Category: General
Rating: 1,77 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V) (Label this item) X
Labels:
Submitted by baron von munchausen (View user info) at 2007-09-27 14:00:06 EDT
1 hitS, 22 reviews! It's a miracle.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:45:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:03:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:01:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oddly
I liked this
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except now i have simon and garfunkel stuck in my head.
-1 for that.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:44:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent stuff.
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I tried to write something Kilgore Trout might write.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:42:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very Good
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:41:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yea -
double cool
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:32:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was brilliant
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
short and sweet
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:24:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
So THATS what happened to Le Petit Prince!
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:20:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:17:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Had to come back to re-read.
I REALLY like this.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:16:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:15:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"What do you wanna do with your life?!"
"I WANNA BE A ROCK!"
"ROCK! I WANNA BE A ROCK! ROCK!"
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:14:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Somebody is alluding to antisemitism and communism.
Submitted by Rhymenocerous (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:09:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:08:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:06:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I WANNA BE A ROCK, I WANNA BE A ROCK
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:04:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For those about to be a rock, WE SALUTE YOU
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:03:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:01:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oddly
I liked this
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:02:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good.
NOW...take careful note of the earlier events of today, and don't fuck your streak up by posting pictures of yourself in an hour or two.
Welcome aboard.
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:02:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He fell over after he died, like this: thunk.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:01:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oddly
I liked this
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-09-27 14:01:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oddly
I liked this