Wheelchair Woman Blues (1352 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryLabels: handicapable_women
Rating: 1.72 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2007-09-27 18:06:16 EDT
Well I woke up this mornin
Had to pee
I can tell my lovergirl I can tell by the trails she leaves
If you see my lovergirl please push her on home
Cause I ain't had no sexy thickness since that girl been gone
Well you know you owe me honey
Below the belt
I take you out on "walks" and shit
And I get you things off the shelf
Now you're gonna please me
You're gonna please my
Flesh bassoon
And oh don't your crazy-ass jimmy legs look delicious sittin' there below that pale white moon
Aw I should get you a roll bar for oral...
Roll on, roll on, roll on little gal, roll on
Oh roll on, roll on, roll on little gal, roll on
You just keep right on rollin til you hit the foot of the bed
Are you ready
Can I get you a magazine?
I said are you ready
Can I get you a magazine?
Cause you're gonna be here for a while and you'll probably get bored and want something special to read
Well I've put your thighs in position an I've lubricated too
Now I'm gonna tell you whats I'm gonna do
Gonna give your bits attention
But I won't forget your feet
Yeah just cause you can't move em girl
Don't mean they can't move me
You ain't gonna feel me
You ain't gonna see my sweet sweaty face at all
Cause I'll be right behind you, honey, humpin and havin a ball
User Reviews
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-11-09 12:11:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-09-29 08:21:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-09-28 13:25:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dog pic = PWNT
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-28 12:43:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Steak- I read what you said, but eBay really is the place. I've rarely ever had an issue- just make sure the seller has good feedback and ask a lot of questions if you have them.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-09-28 12:34:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe you can help. I'm looking for some old 33s, and I can't find any. Nowhere sells the kind I want, and I need them. I'm looking for Howlin' Wolf, T-bone Walker, Muddy Waters and the like. I refuse to use Ebay, because it is untrustworthy.
Do you know where I can find any?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-28 12:16:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just used this somewhere else, but found it appropriate:
"Hey, they have chairs with wheels and here I am using my legs like a sucker!"
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-28 11:54:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
See?
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-09-28 11:37:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Manatee Shank-Steak Blues
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-28 11:07:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://youtube.com/watch?v=z-RdfJuTXbA
Looks like a gloid made the "video" but whatever, the song's pulled from the album.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-09-28 11:01:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-28 10:52:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-28 09:54:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
George Strait's preferably. Y'know, considering what a historic figure he is in the world of blues music.
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*snorts*
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-28 10:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment Blues
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-28 10:17:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-28 10:00:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Everything is made better by adding "blues" at the end of it.
Hot Snapper Blues
Wal-Mart Shotgun Blues
Barium Enema Blues
Forgetful Godparent Blues
Unfortunate Cancer Test Results Blues
Genocide Blues
Winnebago Septic Pump Blues
Vietnam Suicide Blues
Hole Blues
Barrel of Monkeys Blues
It's Piss Blues
SIDS Blues
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-28 09:54:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-09-27 19:15:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not your best, but certainly a concept worthy of further exploration.
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Agreed on both counts. I love the idea of throwing "blues" at the end of a title because I think it's just fucking ridiculous. But I hate writing in a blues style because it's either repetitive or really limited by the lack of musical accompaniment. Besides, I was making good on a comment I left on some other post.
So, whatever. Try listening to "Milk Cow Blues" and following along as it allows.
George Strait's preferably. Y'know, considering what a historic figure he is in the world of blues music.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-28 08:58:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So a +1.5 you shall receive from me.
BTW - Chicago style or New Orleans style blues? I'm having trouble envisioning this in my head.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-28 08:56:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-09-27 19:15:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not your best, but certainly a concept worthy of further exploration.
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Have to concur...you've spurned much better than this. Not bad, though.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-09-28 03:17:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sounds like your area of expertise
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-09-28 02:01:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-09-28 01:52:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That picture at the end reminds me of the animated movie 'Babe' (about the pig). It had a dog like that in it and it got hit by a car and they made you believe for a while that he had died (he hadn't).
I was crying my eyes out. The Bloke had just met me so was pretty shocked at how I cried over a cartoon..
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-09-28 00:49:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*harmonica solo*
*fade*
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-28 00:03:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DENNA NENNA NENNA NENNA NENNA NENNA NEH
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-09-27 20:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-09-27 20:26:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
as long as she's not wearing Crocs there shouldn't be a problem
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-09-27 20:02:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Heh,
Sounds like something Weird Al'Yankovich would write about.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-09-27 19:15:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not your best, but certainly a concept worthy of further exploration.
I look forward to the next, polished installment.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-09-27 18:55:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
classy
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-09-27 18:42:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
roll on
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-09-27 18:34:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-27 18:23:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh - and it gets its own label...
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-09-27 18:15:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Parking spaces aside, the life of a handicapper is not an easy one.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-27 18:14:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-27 18:09:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are so very, very wrong.
I think I love you.
I know Gimp does.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-27 18:07:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was gonna read this, but my ride's here.
Regina time!