A Question of Morality (1019 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 1.42 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by _Q_ (View user info) at 2007-09-27 19:48:34 EDT
I just completed a survey that left me questioning the level of duality that mild-to-severe internet use has on the human condition.
It was a simple enough survey: answer seven questions on the subject of morality.
As I was answering the questions, I found myself urged to answer with my "web-self" more often than what I truly felt about the subject. It is making me wonder who I really am... and furthermore, if that the internet is really just a life support machine for the bratty inner-child that had been put into the dryer on "tumble setting" and left for dead, but just will not die... that is inside all of us.
Here are the questions, my answers, and the answers that my internet born personality came up with.
Do you see anything wrong with this picture?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What are your views regarding sex outside of marriage?
Real me: If it is before getting married then it is okay as long as you are safe about it. After you are married, it is not okay.
Internet me: I have cut back since I found out that it pisses my wife off so much.
--
Q: What are your views regarding homosexual or lesbian relationships?
Real Me: Everyone has the right to get it wet.
Internet Me: Fag above.
--
Q: What are your views on abortion?
Real me: It should be employed as early as possible and only in cases where either the baby, the mother, or both are in serious health risk if the pregnancy continues; or if the child was conceived as the result of a rape or sexual abuse.
Internet me: Needs more rape.
BONUS: rape mentioned in both answers
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Q: Do you believe in moral absolutes (ie: that there are some things that are always right or wrong regardless of culture or religion)?
Real Me: No.
Internet Me: The only absolute is free porn.
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Q: What, in your view, is the purpose of life?
Real Me: Life is how God created itself.
Internet Me: Getting drunk, stoned, and laid as much as possible, plus eating when you are hungry, pooping when you are full, and sleeping when you are tired. Oh, and two chicks at the same time.
--
Q: What is your view of the Bible and what role should it play in our lives?
Real me: It is a book that I have never read, yet it is so constantly in my face and is the source of so much garbage in this world that I do not think that I ever will read it, or open myself to people on a level that will leave me open to discuss it's "teachings".
Internet me: It is a great conversation starter with any Muslim women I see on the street. I typically use it as kindling for my fires.
--
Q: Do you go to church? If so, how often?
Real me: No.
Internet Me: Only to touch myself while watching little boys suck the priests off, and to re-stock my kindling supplies. Also, why haven't I ever tried to bang a nun?
User Reviews
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2007-10-10 15:46:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-09-28 18:39:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was superlative. Especially "a life support machine for the bratty inner-child."
*standing ovation*
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-09-28 15:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-09-28 06:30:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-09-28 03:21:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've always wanted to read the Bible. I'm not a Christian but I'd like to see what the bullshit they're quoting comes from, except I don't cause...well I have better things to do like absolutely nothing.
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Highly recommended. Here's a link to digital images of a copy of the Gutenberg Bible http://www.hrc.utexas.edu/exhibitions/permanent/gutenberg/web/pgstns/01.html
Also read the Torah, the Q'ran, and any other texts that people base their beliefs on. Great insight is to be gained in this manner.
****************************
No way I'm reading that. I saw the word texas in that link!
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-09-28 13:23:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-09-28 13:16:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what's funny? I can't say anything on the web that I wouldn't say in person. I just can't do it.
Which is to say that the real-me is a smart ass who got roughed up a few times back in the day, but I always say exactly what I'm thinking, on or off the web.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-28 12:48:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-28 09:02:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
lungfish said bourgeois
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-09-28 06:30:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-09-28 03:21:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've always wanted to read the Bible. I'm not a Christian but I'd like to see what the bullshit they're quoting comes from, except I don't cause...well I have better things to do like absolutely nothing.
------------
Highly recommended. Here's a link to digital images of a copy of the Gutenberg Bible http://www.hrc.utexas.edu/exhibitions/permanent/gutenberg/web/pgstns/01.html
Also read the Torah, the Q'ran, and any other texts that people base their beliefs on. Great insight is to be gained in this manner.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-28 03:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Heyyyy thats not a real nun!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-09-28 03:22:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-09-28 03:21:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've always wanted to read the Bible. I'm not a Christian but I'd like to see what the bullshit they're quoting comes from, except I don't cause...well I have better things to do like absolutely nothing.
Submitted by Respek (user info) at 2007-09-28 02:48:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Morals die with humanity. You know what to do.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-09-27 23:33:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, you filled out the same shitty survey TWICE!
You sir, are a GOD!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-09-27 23:07:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I AM A GOD WARRIOR
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2007-09-27 23:05:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your mom goes to college.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-09-27 23:02:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2007-09-27 22:02:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Huh? Do I know you?
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-09-27 21:50:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2007-09-28 11:31:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Meh. Alot of wasted opportunity here.
I expect better from you.
----
Your rating was a waste of time, fortunately nobody expects better from you.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2007-09-27 21:31:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Meh. Alot of wasted opportunity here.
I expect better from you.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-09-27 20:59:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Real Me: You make some interesting points, although I must take issue with your conclusions regarding the nature of <insert talking point>, which are ethnocentric to an extreme and clearly resultant of your bourgeois upbringing.
Internet Me: +2 no penis.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-09-27 20:50:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-09-27 20:48:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Real Me Rating: Shrugs it off. To each, their own.
Internet Me Answer: Holier than thou lecture on the value of morality.
Submitted by pshuu (user info) at 2007-09-27 20:26:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think this is so true. Someone once told me to "grow up and get some dignity" but Internet me loves dick and fart jokes... what dignity is there in that? The real life me just snickers quietly in social situations instead of loling.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-09-27 20:22:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you should have answered them all, "that's some more of your damn business".
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-09-27 20:19:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
an excellent break from my design report....now back to it.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-09-27 20:15:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Two chicks at the same time. I'm starting to think that's never going to happen for me.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-09-27 20:12:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
the problem is mistaking a situation where internet funny is not appropriate. real people, specifically women, don't think seal clubbing is funny.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-09-27 20:08:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I always tend to distrust people who wait until marriage for sexy time.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-09-27 20:06:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Q: Do you believe in moral absolutes (ie: that there are some things that are always right or wrong regardless of culture or religion)?
Real Me: No. "
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Oro de la comedia.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-09-27 19:54:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1. Go for it!
2. Go for it!
3. Go for it!
4. Absolut vodka, go for it!
5. Life - go for it!
6. Go for it!
7. Go for it!
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-09-27 19:54:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Made me laugh a fair bit.
Also you made me realise that there is a really big difference between our opinions in real life and our opinions via the internet. +2 for laughter! +2 for self-realisation!
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-09-27 19:53:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is there any way we can concentrate and bottle this much funny?