Catch a Tiger by the Toe? S.C. Amputee's lost leg found in barbecue smoker (1356 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.99 on 62 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Crystle (View user info) at 2007-09-28 15:20:20 EDT
Tigerlilly has a brother?
Check out the names - a man with a fake leg named Wood, and his sister Wood-Lytle. Come on.. this is TOO funny.
Even better - the leg he lost wasn't his prosthetic.
Article from www.obscurestore.com : Man's lost amputated leg found in a barbeque smoker
Pasted here for those too lazy to click and scroll:
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S.C. amputee's lost leg found in barbecue smoker.
'There were no macabre intentions'
CLEVE R. WOOTSON JR. AND MARCIE YOUNG
cwootson.at.charlotteobserver.com
John Wood is trying to get from South Carolina to Catawba County today to retrieve his leg.
On Tuesday, a Maiden man found the lost appendage in a barbecue smoker he'd bought from a storage facility.
The man took the smoker home, looked inside, and saw something wrapped in paper. Inside, said Maiden Police Chief Troy Church, was Wood's leg -- the foot and most of the calf. Police are keeping it for Wood.
Doctors amputated Wood's leg after a 2004 plane crash in Wilkes County that killed Wood's father and injured two other family members, Wood said.
"When it was amputated, he told (the hospital) that he wanted that leg saved," said his sister, Marin Wood-Lytle. "He wanted to keep the bone because he wanted to be buried as a full man." Instead of a bone, a funeral home delivered the whole leg.
Wood put it in his freezer, his sister said. It became something of a joke when she came over. "I wouldn't even get a Pepsi out of his refrigerator."
But it stopped being funny when Wood got behind on his power bill and his electricity was shut off, the sister said.
Despite his family's protests, Wood-Lytle said, her brother took the screen off his front porch, wrapped the leg inside and "tied it to two posts to let it dry."
Wood-Lytle said her brother was homeless for a while, living in his van, which he eventually lost.
Their mother put his belongings in a storage facility in Maiden, about 45 miles northwest of Charlotte, Wood-Lytle said, and paid for the first few months.
Reached Tuesday, Wood declined to answer most questions. He did say he put the leg in the smoker because "I didn't have anything else to secure it in. There were no macabre intentions."
Maiden police talked with the storage facility's owner, who was auctioning off items in the units of people who were behind on their payments. Wood said he asked the owner of the storage facility not to open his belongings and is trying to get from Greenville County, S.C., to get his things.
On Tuesday his sister was watching TV and saw the man who found her brother's leg and thought "it just seems to never go away."
She said that on Tuesday, an officer came by and said they had her brother's leg.
"John had told them `how about just dropping it off at my sister's and she'll just hold it until I get there?' " she said.
"I told them `don't bring that thing in my house.' "
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User Reviews
Submitted by MrsKitty (user info) at 2008-04-11 12:15:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ArnieGeddon (user info) at 2008-04-08 19:49:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jigglypuff (user info) at 2008-04-08 19:35:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-11-13 04:35:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Crystle
Submitted by beat_raven (user info) at 2007-10-26 18:21:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
urgh
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-22 12:34:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
rules are rules
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-22 12:29:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
sorry crystle, its the new rules.
Submitted by jared.melton (user info) at 2007-10-10 03:33:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-10-09 17:01:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're right. Too funny.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-10-01 16:29:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
IT'S A MAJOR AWARD
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2007-10-01 09:55:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha... that HAS to be fake, right?
You should've kept this a secret and posted it as your Grueberfest entry.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-01 09:30:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-09-28 18:07:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I once knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith
DAMN THORNS BEAT ME TO IT.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-01 08:35:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-09-28 18:07:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I once knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith
--------------------------
WHAT WAS THE NAME OF HIS OTHER LEG?!?!?
Submitted by hellish (user info) at 2007-10-01 00:52:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by hellish (user info) at 2007-10-01 00:51:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lame
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-09-30 17:55:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It's just like an awful pun, but it won't stop.
PS: It's like if you're talking about breakfast, and the topic of eggs comes up, you'd be one of those people who'd say "egg-zactly" at every opporotunity. I hate people like that.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-30 16:57:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GO PHILS WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-09-29 14:27:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 leg.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-29 02:56:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love lamp. And daddy.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2007-09-28 19:38:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-09-28 18:07:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I once knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-28 18:02:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
heh - yeah, I'm glad I don't have daddy issues
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-28 17:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah the old days...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-05-31 14:09:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
My woman has a leg of life, a leg of lust, a leg of love
My woman has a leg of God, ordained by Him from up above
Its hotness, uncontrollable, its curves are smooth and tan
It's sure to bring about a boner in each mortal man
It's long and lovely, supple with a tautness, firm and fit
I love to spend long hours in bed just touching all of it
This leg is something to behold, and flexible to boot
I cannot stand its flexy ways - it causes me to shoot.
My woman has a leg of lies, a leg untrue, a leg quite false
And yet this fabrication brings a stirring to my balls,
A trickster made of plastic, tin, with foot and knee and joint
This Loki leg confounds me, yet I cannot help anoint
The length of it with chrism, blessing that which, though, quite hollow
Helps move this lovely woman who is guaranteed to swallow,
The sweet deception comes undone, it falls with click and push
And then there's but one runway to the comfort of her bush.
In bed I find myself presented both, but can't pick either,
My mind is forced to choose between the lady and the Tiger.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-28 17:22:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I blame too many innocent reviews on your part.
It's the innocent ones that you've got to watch.
Well, and the drunk gyrating "look at me" daddy issue sluts.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-28 17:18:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you know... you mayb have the wrong impression of me.
I have nothing against fishnets and stilletto's
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:56:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For my sake huh? Mmm hmm. A likely story.
The fine porcelain exterior you've put around yourself is starting to crack. No longer is there a pristine and untouched Crystle exterior to catch and bend the fading summer sun or the soft kiss of candlelight. Now from below the fissures and the fragments comes a slight hint of tit, a flash of fishnets and scandalously high heels.
You can fool everyone else. You're not fooling me.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:48:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
poor lil noob.... I think we may have scared her away.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:44:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And you can play Whistle or Lose It whenever you want to, Brdn.
It's the game that's fun for anyone at anytime.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:44:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no, no, no, no...
That was on YOUR behalf.
UBERtard
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:43:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But you're into assplay obviously, since you inquired about bumsecks earlier today.
Tart.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:39:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm SO not into any part of bdsm
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:39:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hard and fast?
You're just GROSS Barry
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:37:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great God almighty that's disgusting
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:37:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
is that a hard and fast rule O? Like if she comes after me I can use that to escape?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:36:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's also damn near impossible if you've been drinking and are either laughing your ass off or wailing in Extreme Nipple Pain.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:36:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SEEEEEEE!!!??? SHE DOESN"T DENY IT! OMG!!! I WILL FIND A WAY TO PROTECT MY NIPPLES!!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:36:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's where one person grabs another person by the nipple and twists both hard and consistently.
The only way the victim can make his/her assailant stop is to pucker up and whistle a tune.
This usually works best when the victim has no idea it's coming.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:29:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
never heard of it..
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:24:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Has anyone here played Whistle or Lose It?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:23:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha
bastahd
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:21:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
crystle has threatened me with death by purple nurple:
Crystlesun: Go do it or I will hunt you down and twist your nipple so hard that it'll pop off and then there will be blood shooting out of the hole that used to be your nipple and I will dance in it as the poor kids dance in fire hydrant sprays. I will dance until finally you fall over dead from the loss of blood. I will then kiss you goodbye and take your son and groom him to be the perfect husband for my daughter.
Sent at 3:15 PM on Friday
All i said to her was I'm bored and that's how she replied. I am honestly frightened for my life. Crystle, I've notified the authorities and they've already relocated my son to take him out of harms way. I will wait for you and when you arrive I will thwart your attack and engage my own... motorboating you to death and loving every minute of it.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:21:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For O-tron:
Quid, quidest? Estne sanguis hostium meorum? Stereos! Ego diligo sanguis hostium! Quomodo tu novisti hoc?
I hope I spelled that right... it's been a while.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:19:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should really have someone lick that off.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have blood on my hands? Or beer on my hands?
Either way, it's kind of a sticky mess, isn't it?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:16:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, it would make a terrible coffee table.
It WOULD however make a totally bitchin' beer glass.
I would fill it with finest brew and hoist it aloft with both mine hands as I stood tall and proud over the shattered remains of my enemies. To my lips it would be placed and the rich drink inside would run through me and over me, and I would wipe at my face with the back of my forearm like a real man. I would yell. It would echo through the mountains and wash over the faces of the widows and orphans my Awesome had created, having killed so, so many men.
There would be blood. Blood and victory. Like a doctor's hands after childbirth.
Your hands. My hands. Beer in a leg and Saturn high in the midnight sky.
Come and join me. Live the dream.
Do it. And let the English see you do it.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:13:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh wow. If I had anything amputated, i would absolutely keep it.
Currently there is a plaster foot in my freezer that came from a girl i used to know. The plaster is stark white so when you open the freezer door it just looks like a frost-burned woman's foot. I figure that should scare off all of the potential mates without a sense of humor.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:06:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-09-28 15:56:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"But I don't WANNNNA go to Maiden to get more wooden legs!"
*wookie growl*
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-28 15:54:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
how do you make a book out of a leg?
Wouldn't it be simpler to use it as the coffee table leg?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-28 15:47:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't want anyone else's. I want hers.
I have plans for it. Big plans. Coffee table book plans.
Help me, Crystle Wan Bend-Over. You're my only hope.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-28 15:41:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
which version, O - Wood, or Wood-Lytle?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-09-28 15:41:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Less "news story" more "how can you help me convince Tiger to send me her leg."
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-09-28 15:38:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-28 15:35:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When did that become a requirement? No one told me....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-09-28 12:33:21 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No picture of Crystle -2.
--
It's part of the govering principles laid out here...
http://www.ifjackruledtheworld.com/goveringprinciples/survivalnecessities/mandatorycuteness.html
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-28 15:36:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's a major award
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-09-28 15:36:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just that you have been a little slap happy the last few days.
More so than usual.
Now that I know, it makes sense.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-09-28 15:35:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"it's a major award"
"Fragile?...must be Italian."
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-09-28 15:34:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*resists urge to make filthy 'on top' innuendoes all day long*
--
Waiting (previously posted on pulsehead) (Rating: 0 on 1 review, last by Jack_McCallum 2 minutes ago)
Submitted by Jack McCallum (View user info) at 2007-09-28 15:29:26 EDT
Catch a Tiger by the Toe? S.C. Amputee's lost leg found in barbecue smoker (Rating: 0 on 3 reviews, last by Crystle 56 seconds ago)
Submitted by Crystle (View user info) at 2007-09-28 15:20:20 EDT
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-28 15:34:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
aw come on.. it's funny!!!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-09-28 15:33:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Crystle post +2.
No picture of Crystle -2.
Still, she has boobies and stuff, so +2.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-09-28 15:32:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
stressed, tired, living out of boxes, but yeah, doing ok... why?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-09-28 15:27:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have you been feeling ok, Crystle?
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-28 15:23:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2