GRUEBERFEST '07 - Sign Up Announcement (1470 hits)
Category: Computers & InternetLabels: GFest07
Rating: 1.24 on 114 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kaos-king (antius777) (View user info) at 2007-09-29 14:39:24 EDT
"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality." - Edgar Allan Poe
Ah yes, once again you twisted lil' deviants of Ubersite, it's come time to reach down into the depth of your madness and depravity and now write me a tale. Although UGR'07 just wrapped up, enough of you sick fucks have shown interest in yet another competition, one that will force you to reveal just how truly incorrect you really are...
It's time for GRUEBERFEST '07!!!
Just in time for Halloween, we will be creating tales of horror, terror, suspense, mystery, and anything else that will chill the blood of our fellow Uber users. From the far-flung paranormal to gritty, stark realism, you may take us down whatever dark path you wish. Let us discover the interiors of Hell, together, that which is inside our own imiginations.
THIS IS THE SIGN-UP POST. If you wish to particiapte, merely add a review to this post expressing your interest in playing along. Names will be organized and a 1st round announcement post will be posted later this week naming your randomly selected opponent. (If you simply plan of forfeiting, don't bother signing up.) You and your opponent will have 12 hours from the time of the posting to give each other an appropriate title to work with. (Any ridiculous titles CAN be contested.) If your opponent has not given you a title in that 12 hour time period, you are free to create your own title, or have one provided by me. This will be single elimination, and expect to churn out a tale a week.
The winner will face the GREATEST HORROR of them alll... having to give ME their address! That way I can send you a box full of random horror & Halloween crap as your prize. Plus, you get to join the ranks of such (losers) like McCallum and myself as GRUEBERFEST winnarz!!!
Seriously though, this contest has produced some of the best work I've ever seen on this site in the past. Please check out http://www.ubersite.com/u/Orgasmatron/l/grueberfest05 as well as http://www.ubersite.com/u/Orgasmatron/l/grueberfest06 to wallow in some of the most dispicable work to ever grace the front page here.
So come along, sign your souls away below...
User Reviews
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-04 11:27:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
why on earth would you want to discount all of uniter's ratings?
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-10-04 04:24:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-10-01 10:07:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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It's ok. The people who actually have something to do on the weekend other than check ubersite for contest updates tend to forfeit the second or third round anyway. Or at least, I do.
Hahah
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-10-01 10:30:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This consistentely produces some great stuff; I look forward to reading
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-10-01 10:07:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2007-10-01 09:48:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-10-01 09:43:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Next time, post the sign up post on a weekday when people are actually here. Not that I have time to write anyway, so you've saved me the trouble, I suppose. But you posted this during the weekend, then closed the signup Monday morning, which is kind of unfair to some.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
That's what I'm sayin'.
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It's ok. The people who actually have something to do on the weekend other than check ubersite for contest updates tend to forfeit the second or third round anyway. Or at least, I do.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-01 10:03:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Unpopular choice or not...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112121
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-01 09:55:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
don't worry folks, just put a little pressure on the man and his fragile psyche will have him flip-flopping on his decision in no time.
oh god kaos...what to do man...you made an unpopulkar decison....maybe one of the playground kids will get angry with you
whater you gonna do now champ!!!!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-01 09:51:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WAIT, you closed signups on a Monday morning? WTF??
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-01 09:48:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I'd known this was going to be posted on the weekend I'd have given an early shout-out to be part of it. I rarely check this place on the weekends or weeknights anymore.
Mondays or Thursdays are usually great for getting people to sign up. Everyone's either pissed off about being at work and avoiding responsibilty or getting ready for the weekend and phoning in the rest of their work week.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2007-10-01 09:48:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-10-01 09:43:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Next time, post the sign up post on a weekday when people are actually here. Not that I have time to write anyway, so you've saved me the trouble, I suppose. But you posted this during the weekend, then closed the signup Monday morning, which is kind of unfair to some.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
That's what I'm sayin'.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2007-10-01 09:45:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SON OF A BITCH, I always miss this crap. Have fun... I look forward to reading.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-10-01 09:44:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-01 09:41:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh hell did I miss the sign-up?
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See what I mean.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-10-01 09:44:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 though, because I'll definitely be reading.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-10-01 09:43:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Next time, post the sign up post on a weekday when people are actually here. Not that I have time to write anyway, so you've saved me the trouble, I suppose. But you posted this during the weekend, then closed the signup Monday morning, which is kind of unfair to some.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-10-01 09:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and... inspiration hits.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-01 09:41:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh hell did I miss the sign-up?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-01 09:23:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
First round match-up will be posted in about an hour, Forensic...
TIME'S UP!!!
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-01 09:21:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
feel better bro?
i don't think that 'how I feel' has anything to do with the matter at hand here, rather how you feel.
seriously...was that comment a moment of Bi-Polarism or whatever the fuck or did you genuinly mean it?
i've thought in the past, like your indoninja post, that you let emotion get the better of you and you post hastily and sometimes regret your little blow ups but now I'm pretty sure you're just a cunt and rest assured...I'll fuckin tell ya whenever I remember to.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-01 09:21:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When will the first round match ups be posted? I have to leave town Friday through Sunday. I just want enough time to give a title and get a title before I have to motor out.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-01 09:18:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
whatever makes you feel better BAMF...
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-01 09:09:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll give 'er a go...count me in as #30.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-01 08:18:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
the fact that you can actually talk...think...profess this type of thing...
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-01 00:40:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
========================
Hadley, I honestly hope your loved ones die in a horrible manner and you're helpless to save them.
If I knew that happened to you, if I knew you suffered like that... I would smile.
========================
really makes you a cunt, deranged cunt at that.
Seriously, I have no clue what your head problems are but clearly, seeing as you wake up and eat food and drink liquids and breath everyday they don't stop you from acting like a human so you have the ability to tell between right and wrong and wishing injury upon someone or their family because of the internets is just fucking sad.
I'm not gonna play in your game here but I will bring up how much of a spaz you are everytime I see you post, or someone post about you. If I get a chance you know....I mean I don't really want to put a lot of effort into it but you understand what I'm getting at.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-01 07:28:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What can I say... with a prize like THAT how can i not enter??
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-01 04:14:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh NOW you want to eh Hour man, thats purely coincedental huh!
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-01 04:01:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wanna sign up
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-01 03:37:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
KK you forgot to mention im the prize......UH HUH......you get an evening with me to do what you wish, burn, fry or cuddle. Im easy.
Submitted by hellish (user info) at 2007-10-01 00:53:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
nobody cares
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-10-01 00:37:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I always remember seeing "GRUBERFEST" and wondered to myself, "What the fuck is that?"
That being said, I want no part of it now that I know.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-01 00:33:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ATTN: Zampano!!!
There are currently 29 players.
Do YOU want in???
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-01 00:32:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So far...
Beeltea
Skrapmetal
TechnoRatty
ilikesteak
ELG
Jamowilly
Amontillado
Inion De Trua
Beer-Turtle
Lungfish
Monkeyswithguns
BaronMunchausen
Forensic Girl
Jack McCallum
Domenad
Axolotl
Big Mike
Whiskey_Jack
BRDN NKD
Mockidol
Ballare
NintendoCzar
TTOM
Fungah
Yellow-Man
Write-Of-Way
Sir Cowman
ShapeShifter
HurtByTheSun
_______________
Ghola VS Shlongy
29 participants and one SUPER SCARY BONUS EXTRA EVIL MATCH of MAYHEM
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-09-30 22:07:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-09-30 19:24:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm in.
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2007-09-30 18:11:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm going to update my status on this to 'keep me posted as to whether somebody is left without a pairing on account of an odd-number in participants.'
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-09-30 17:49:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MUCH better.
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-09-30 17:43:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sign this nigger up
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-30 16:52:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GO PHILS WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-30 16:46:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So far...
Beeltea
Skrapmetal
TechnoRatty
ilikesteak
ELG
Jamowilly
Amontillado
Inion De Trua
Beer-Turtle
Lungfish
Monkeyswithguns
BaronMunchausen
Forensic Girl
Jack McCallum
Domenad
Axolotl
Big Mike
Whiskey_Jack
BRDN NKD
Mockidol
Ballare
NintendoCzar
TTOM
Fungah
Yellow-Man
Write-Of-Way
Sir Cowman
_______________
Ghola VS Shlongy
27 participants and one SUPER SCARY BONUS EXTRA EVIL MATCH of MAYHEM
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-09-30 16:44:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-09-30 16:36:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112099#2539879
Alter debut!
Keepin' an eye on the competition. Uber fame being made here..lol.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-09-30 16:36:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112099#2539879
Alter debut!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-09-30 15:00:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck me, I thought it was 12 hours to WRITE THE STORY.
Actually, that would be kinda cool.
GRUEBERFEST: THE LIGHTNING ROUNDS
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-09-30 14:41:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Deal me in.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-09-30 14:32:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-09-30 14:04:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What'd I JUST say about my name?
i not "I"
It makes all the difference in the world.
------------------------------------------
I have to agree, but only because my name is all caps, not just two.
Yellow-Man
vs.
YELLOW-MAN
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-09-30 14:20:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahah OATHMEAL is in?!
what a turd.
worst writer on here.
Submitted by write-of-way (user info) at 2007-09-30 14:13:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-09-30 14:04:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What'd I JUST say about my name?
i not "I"
It makes all the difference in the world.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-09-30 13:48:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would like to be the prize, thanks.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-30 13:36:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So far...
Beeltea
Skrapmetal
TechnoRatty
Ilikesteak
ELG
Jamowilly
Amontillado
Inion De Trua
Beer-Turtle
Lungfish
Monkeyswithguns
BaronMunchausen
Forensic Girl
Jack McCallum
Domenad
Axolotl
Big Mike
Whiskey_Jack
BRDN NKD
Mockidol
Ballare
NintendoCzar
TTOM
Fungah
Yellow-Man
_______________
Ghola VS Shlongy
25 participants and one SUPER SCARY BONUS EXTRA EVIL MATCH of MAYHEM
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-30 13:23:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh ya I'm just reading, dear. I only look/act scary. The writing, not so much. But I know someone else who will sure as shit be in once he sees the hub..
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-09-30 12:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sure, i'm in. Though I have an odd schedule, so I might forfeit later on.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-30 11:47:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-09-30 10:45:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"12 hours..."
__________________
Yes Jack. 12 hours... to give your opponent a TITLE. That's all. Calm down.
You know you check this place every single day, don't lie...
... just like I do. **weep**
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2007-09-30 11:34:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Eeeeh...
...maybe. I'll give you a definitive answer once the contest is complete.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-30 11:22:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
SHIT!!!
Fungah makes 25...
He's fast, that Fungah.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-30 11:21:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So far...
Beeltea
Skrapmetal
TechnoRatty
Ilikesteak
ELG
Jamowilly
Amontillado
Inion De Trua
Beer-Turtle
Lungfish
Monkeyswithguns
BaronMunchausen
Forensic Girl
Jack McCallum
Domenad
Axolotl
Big Mike
Whiskey_Jack
BRDN NKD
Mockidol
Sacrilicious
Ballare
NintendoCzar
TTOM
_______________
Ghola VS Shlongy
24 participants and one SUPER SCARY BONUS EXTRA EVIL MATCH of MAYHEM
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2007-09-30 11:19:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
brun.at.yorku.ca
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2007-09-30 11:18:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sign me up bitch
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-09-30 10:45:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"12 hours..."
Holy monkey-fucking Christ.
TWELVE hours??????
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-09-30 10:27:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-09-30 08:57:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck, Ill do it. I mean what else am I doing? EXCEPT GETTING AN INTERVIEW FOR A ZOOLOGY REKLATED JOB THIS THURSDAY! WOO! WOOOO! GO URSIDAE WOOOOO!
---------
yay!!!!
if it had anything to do with me i expect a guinness.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-09-30 09:49:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-09-29 21:53:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'll just look forward to reading.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-09-30 09:47:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Still haven't thought of a good idea but I'm sure it will appear out of nowhere... or I'll just use a dream I had like my last story.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-09-30 08:57:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck, Ill do it. I mean what else am I doing? EXCEPT GETTING AN INTERVIEW FOR A ZOOLOGY REKLATED JOB THIS THURSDAY! WOO! WOOOO! GO URSIDAE WOOOOO!
Anyway, Im in.
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-09-30 03:58:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wii would like to play. Might as well pop my contest on uber cherry now.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-09-30 03:45:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oooh me me me
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-09-30 03:25:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh my! I'm in a Uber contest! I'm as happy as a little giiiiiirl!
*pulls a piece of shirt above each nipple like boobs
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-09-30 02:58:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-09-30 02:51:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i would like a list of users who use capital letters in their name and a list of those who do not.
i don't know what i would do with such a list.
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It would be helpful for name accurate poo flinging.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-30 02:54:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Hoegaarden
Capital (S)acrilicious
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-09-30 02:51:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i would like a list of users who use capital letters in their name and a list of those who do not.
i don't know what i would do with such a list.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-30 02:51:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-09-29 22:31:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sign me up.
Bitch.
===
OMFG *asplode*
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-09-30 02:50:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY!
You see any upper case letters in my name?
Didn't think so.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-30 02:40:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
SHIT... and Mockidol.
20 solid
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-30 02:39:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So far...
Beeltea
Skrapmetal
TechnoRatty
Ilikesteak
ELG
Jamowilly
Amontillado
Inion De Trua
Beer-Turtle
Lungfish
Monkeyswithguns
BaronMunchausen
Forensic Girl
Jack McCallum
Domenad
Axolotl
Big Mike
Whiskey_Jack
BRDN NKD
_______________
Ghola VS Shlongy
19 participants and one SUPER SCARY BONUS EXTRA EVIL MATCH of MAYHEM
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-30 02:14:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bring it biatch
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-09-30 01:43:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck it I feel sassy. Count me in Double K!
...btw keep your expectations low
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-09-30 01:06:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I might play in this one.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-09-30 00:31:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm strangely interested and I don't even read horror. Lemme think about it.
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-09-29 22:31:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sign me up.
Bitch.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-09-29 22:07:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm on. I have some fairly horrible ideas.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-09-29 21:55:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2007-09-29 21:53:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm in. I have some good stuff already in mind.
--
*gives a thumbs-up*
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-09-29 21:54:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
for instance, i'm already pumped to see domenad's entry
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-09-29 21:53:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i really feel like i can contribute to something like this... but i always end up forfeiting.. so i'll just look forward to reading.
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2007-09-29 21:53:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm in. I have some good stuff already in mind.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-09-29 21:50:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
mabye
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-09-29 21:46:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-09-29 17:08:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no thanks.
--
I once got a positive rating from Apollo, on a Grueberfest entry, no less. I kept my shit-stained underwear as a memento of that incredible moment in uberhistory.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-09-29 21:43:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in, even though my workload is a bitch these days and my scores will be bombed by dickheads. Can we have some sort of dickhead-free scoring system? And when that impossibility is achived, I want a jetpack. Thanks, man.
And thanks for running this kk. You owe me nine cents though. I own the rights to the term 'grueberfest.'
AND CONTESTANTS, PLEASE, LET'S HAVE WORKABLE TITLES. TOUGH ONES ARE OKAY, BUT NONE OF THIS 'I Saw Jesus Felching Smurfs at Six Flags' horseshit.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-09-29 21:28:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Forgot to rate.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-09-29 21:26:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in.
And then I'll forfeit.
Hah!
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-09-29 20:47:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll do it. If my relative newness isn't an issue.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-09-29 20:34:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll give it a go.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-09-29 19:08:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just woke up from a lovely nap, during which I had a dream. I was at a party near the Grand Canyon. I was drunk. Thorpe was there.
I said to Thorpe, "Shit, I'm drunk," to which he replied, "You don't look drunk."
I said, "I've been doing this a long time, Thorpey. I wear it well."
Thorpe's furtive smile belied something sinister in his Aussie soul. "You know," he said, "I think you should enter that contest. That...Grueberfest thing...or however the fuck you spell it."
"Why?"
"Because you misunderestimate yourself, like your idiot president says."
"Bush said that of me?" I was intrigued.
"Something like that. Remember that time we got drunk in Payson, and you didn't want to sing in the karaoke contest?"
"I remember. But you weren't there. What of it?" I was starting to get irritated.
"You took second fucking place after singing that lovely duet with the old lady who had her hands all over you. What was it? "Unforgettable." That's what it was. Man, she must have been 80 you nasty seppo."
"Hey. I was drunk."
"Exactly," Thorpe proclaimed. "You're better at most things you do...when you're drunk. Write the stories when your drunk."
I thought for a bit. My head hurt. I simply replied, "Hmmmm." And then, "I've gotta go, Kiwi-boy. Fuck. I hate driving at night. I can hardly see at night."
"That's because you're an old fucking man, Lungy."
"No," I replied, "it's because because it's fuckin' dark, shithead. But, I'm an excellent driver, like Rainman, when I'm drunk."
I slapped him on the back and bid my leave. Then I jumped in my Olds 57; FG jumped in beside me. We lit up a couple of cigarettes, and rode off into the sunset, even though it was night-time.
-----
Count me in. I'll give it a shot. What's to lose.
Thorpe's a bastard. Where the fuck is he, anyway?
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-09-29 18:45:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm in..
I can spare some time for whores...er horrors
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-29 18:13:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So, "yes" I will be paired against ghola, if possible.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-09-29 18:12:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-29 17:20:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-29 15:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So far...
Beeltea
Skrapmetal
TechnoRatty
Ilikesteak
ELG
Jamowilly
_______________
Ghola VS Shlongy
I'm sure we'll play but it will consist of just a big make-out session in front of her boyfriend...and there will be nothing he can do about it.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-09-29 17:53:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i'll sign up.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-09-29 17:25:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes! I want!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-29 17:20:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-29 15:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So far...
Beeltea
Skrapmetal
TechnoRatty
Ilikesteak
ELG
Jamowilly
_______________
Ghola VS Shlongy
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-09-29 17:18:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sure I'll play.
You barrage of inept idiots should be easily trumped by my unparalleled writing skills.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-09-29 17:08:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
no thanks.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-09-29 17:04:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"I aint no writer, never really been one."
Looking forward to reading posts by people who can write, though.
Submitted by ELG (user info) at 2007-09-29 16:59:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm in. I need something to do with my time.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-09-29 16:58:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll play. I love competitons. I just need a title to work with.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-09-29 15:41:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
bummer. I'd play along but I'm going out to sea for a bit.
and why oh why did you choose a Poe quote when there are all these great Lovecraftian ones?
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/h/h_p_lovecraft.html
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-09-29 15:41:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The statement below holds only if Little Sally is really a girl. And of age. Which he is not. Well, of age, yes, but...a dude. Point being: no, I can't write stories.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-09-29 15:30:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in if I can be paired with Little Sally. And I do mean paired. And when I forfeit, she gets to spank me for being a bad boy. And I get to take pictures.
jesus
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-09-29 15:26:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, but I don't play well with others.
Also, I'm probably going to be a mite too busy to meet actual deadlines for the next couple of weeks.
:(
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-29 15:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So far...
Beeltea
Skrapmetal
TechnoRatty
_______________
Ghola VS Shlongy
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2007-09-29 15:16:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That picture reminds me of Samara from The Ring, only really, REALLY hot.
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-09-29 15:14:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aye, go on I'll give it a bash .... then you can all point and laugh 'cos I'm crap
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-09-29 15:12:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll sit this one out, I think, horror's not my genre. Looking forward to seeing what is produced, though.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-09-29 15:11:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What the hell, I'm in. Sounds like the fun in 'dysFUNctional'.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-09-29 15:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Correction. Little Sally is NOT in. I am.
I'm really bad at this whole alter thing.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-09-29 15:04:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad you're hosting, kaos, I'll be reading. I've found that Grueberfest tends to bring out some of the most exciting stories as far as comps go. I don't read a lot of horror these days, but I always look forward to these because people tend to surprise me with some awesomely fucked up writing. Those who write the genre well year-round- you know who you are. But I remember being especially impressed with Forensicgirl's entries last year- they were some of the best I've read here.
Submitted by Little_Sally (user info) at 2007-09-29 14:55:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in. I'll out write all you fucking clowns.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-29 14:50:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You and Shlongy will be paired up specially in SUPER SCARY BONUS EXTRA EVIL MATCH of MAYHEM!!!
It will rock the cocks offa people...
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-09-29 14:47:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm in if i can forfeit against shlongy.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-09-29 14:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Awww, I was gonna put you up against Shlongy in a special exhibition match!!!
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-09-29 14:43:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ima save myself the trouble and go ahead and forfeit now