Oh my god! Why are you basting me!? (Original Content, for better or worse) (831 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.01 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Haiku Mikoo (View user info) at 2007-10-01 12:50:01 EDT
My iMac finally shipped today, that's cool.
In fact, the Fed Ex man just woke me up so I could sign for it. Poor Fed Ex man, I couldn't find a shirt to put on and I was afraid he would leave if I didn't answer the door promptly, so he had to see me in my long johns with no shirt on.
Now, I'm sure he's probably used to this sort of thing, but my long johns are kind of different. Although they do a great job at keeping my legs warm, for some reason the crotch cannot contain my giant flesh baton. Knowing this, I used my left hand to keep my shlong from flopping out, while I signed the deely bopper with my right. Everything seemed to be going smoothly, I was getting my computer, Fed Ex man didn't have to see my penis, until I picked up the package...both hands necessary for that task.
Well, we all know what happened next. The Fed Ex man returned my awkward, "Um...you have a nice day..." while I stood in my front yard, flashing the neighborhood, but...he didn't mean it.
Right, scroll down for the actual reason I'm posting today. Oh, and in case these pictures confuse you, click on these.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3FFnpS-eYA
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112035
User Reviews
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2008-04-09 22:51:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
for bag in quotes.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-04-09 22:44:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Glenn. (user info) at 2008-04-09 21:38:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
LOLZ
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-11-29 03:30:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this is more awesome than its rating suggests. everyone should love haiku!
Submitted by pshuu (user info) at 2007-10-06 13:00:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
+1 for it being funny
-3 for being a mac user
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:54:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you take ME too seriously, M.
seriously dude, take a shower.
:)
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:44:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You take me way too seriously sometimes, M.
I'd still do you.
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2007-10-03 06:51:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
shit
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-10-02 22:50:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
conformist?! it was worth reading, I suppose, even though you'd already shown me. but it was not the kicker of all ass, ducky, and you know it.
i'm making it an even 1 for the flesh baton story.
ps: all ur tase r belong 2 us
pps: take a shower
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-10-02 12:18:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-10-01 12:49:58 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this went well
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Pfft, conformist.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-02 03:55:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-10-01 19:03:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jizzflanger
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-10-01 18:08:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked "don't baste me"
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-01 17:26:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
flashing the neighbourhood? round these parts we just call that a saturday.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-10-01 15:49:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this went well
Submitted by Constitution (user info) at 2007-10-01 15:48:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
For worse.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2007-10-01 15:19:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
50 Cent's music has better points than this post.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2007-10-01 15:09:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That guy has some serious crowding. He may need SmartClip brackets, or even tooth removal.
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-10-01 14:07:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate apple.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-01 14:02:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-01 13:44:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-01 13:42:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-10-01 13:17:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll give you one for "giant flesh baton"
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Harhar! I thought it was just his hate-stick!
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-10-01 13:37:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Huh, you'd think a brand new mac wouldn't take this long to download software updates, anyways
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-10-01 10:12:33 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-01 13:08:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
BAD! NO! STOP IT!
*hits nose with newspaper*
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first steak comment to make me laugh
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I don't know sico, anytime someone uses an "emote" to insult someone on here, it just screams "I'm taking a short break from WoW to ridicule you on the internet!", but maybe that's just me.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-10-01 13:17:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll give you one for "giant flesh baton" because that made me smile like Down's kid smearing poop on a wall.
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-10-01 13:12:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-01 13:08:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
BAD! NO! STOP IT!
*hits nose with newspaper*
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first steak comment to make me laugh
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-01 13:08:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
BAD! NO! STOP IT!
*hits nose with newspaper*
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-10-01 13:03:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not sure what to say about this so I'll tell you that I notched yet another one this weekend when I got back on Saturday night. Oh, and I met yet another normal uberer where I drank my face off.
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-10-01 13:01:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My dick's sore.
Get off of it.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-01 12:59:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*Shrugamus*
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-01 12:57:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh, it just didn't do anything for me.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-01 12:56:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You should have stopped after finishing your iMac delivery story.