The First Time (1030 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.03 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Chris Rivers-Liebig <reverse88.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-08-01 10:21:59 EDT
Everyone will have their first time eventually. Im sure that at some point even Rosie O'Donnell did, but McBain might have a challenge. After a few months of deliberation and waiting (9 to be exact), I jointly decided with the girlfriend it was time to rid me of that cumbersome 'virginity' title.
So we're preparing for a week at my cottage, sans parental units (Im 18, in the likely case you dont know me), and its 9:45 on the night of, and I realize that I havent actually bought any kind of contraceptives yet. Brilliant chap, that I am.
So I run over to the local drugstore, and get in about 10 minutes before it closes. Manning the cash are two people: a teenaged girl and a 30 year old guy. I say a quick prayer of Thanksgiving to God for having a male there, and find my way to the family planning wall.
Damn.
I have been, for most of my life, a fairly sheltered lad, and so I was not prepared for the barrage of variety available to me. I sat and stared blankly at the hundreds of sizes, variities and variations for about 10 minutes. The store is now closing. Finally I find something that sounds vaguely familiar (Trojan) that had no fancy labels on it.
So I grab a pack, and try to summon the courage to walk up to the front. Now the fun begins.
As I live in a small 7000 person town, I know most people. And now I realize that I know the girl on the cash. Which is bad, because the guy on the cash has just left. And the girl on the cash is an old friend of my younger sister. *sigh* So I walk up, probably shaking head to toe PRAYING that I wont be recognized.
"Hi Chris!". Well that shoots THAT prayer down.
"Hey Leah." I put the package on the counter, she looks at me, and doesnt say another word. Checks it through, bags it and gives me my receipt. I think I probably turned 18 shades of red.
And in the long run, I didnt even use it because I chickened out owing to the fact that she hadnt been on the pill long enough for it to be effective yet, and I didnt want a child. All that pain for nothing. So know I have a box of unopened condoms, and no idea where to put so as to not be reamed by my mom. I just have to hide for 1 month, then I can take it to university, and problem solved.
User Reviews
Submitted by Rivers_Liebig (user info) at 2003-08-07 09:41:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Insane - No... I just mean that girls never seemed to dig me. Could be the glasses and the computer geek profile. Hmm... *note to grade 11 self: remove tape from glasses bridge* Im impressed with your 35 one night stands, by the way. That's actually a fair number. Ive had kind of maybe sort of one, but not really. Another post for a day when I cant think of anything else to write.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-08-07 09:28:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Insane - Yeah, you're actually probably right, that I was a little weak in remaining sheltered for so long. However, I never had any need to be non-weak, as I had no girlfriend, and wasnt anywhere near built or cool enough for a one-night stand.
***********************************************
Rivers my man, you seem to have a warped image of what "cool" is, as you seem to be quite the cool, laid baci individual.
Actually I hate one night stands, all oh lets see probably 35 of them that I have been in. Perhaps it is I who was never too cool or built enough to NOT have just one night stands.
Well not really, they just usually turned out to be stupid bitches. hahaha
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2003-08-07 08:42:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Poor boy, that is what the internet is for. Purchase them online. Reminds me of one of my old posts.
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1046961905639924315
Submitted by Rivers_Liebig (user info) at 2003-08-07 08:05:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Insane - Yeah, you're actually probably right, that I was a little weak in remaining sheltered for so long. However, I never had any need to be non-weak, as I had no girlfriend, and wasnt anywhere near built or cool enough for a one-night stand.
drtypaws - *laughs* Good to see it's only going to get better.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2003-08-06 16:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm with Zoidberg on this one. I hope people do see me buying condomds. I like the thinking that total strangers are going to know that I'm getting some pussy.
Submitted by d3rtypaws (user info) at 2003-08-06 16:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good story and I know how you feel. I still feel guily getting condoms and I've been married for fours years. Plus getting like Astroglide or KY Jelly just really embarasses the shit out of me. I make the husband go in while I wait in the car. I am such a dumbass.
>^,,^<
Submitted by streetpunk (user info) at 2003-08-06 15:55:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate condoms. I try to have sex with chicks that are on the pill and not diseased. I don't really screw many girls that I didn't know before hand so I guess I am ok. The few times I have bought condoms, I was proud as hell. Funny story though. I can see where you are coming from.
Peace,
STREETPUNK
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-08-06 15:30:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
But i am not saying I didnt pay for them when ABSOLUTELY necessary.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-08-06 15:29:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Plus there is always your local (in the US) High school, health dept and a plethora of other places where condoms are free for the taking, including the drug store, but that apparently is not an option for you. (pocketing them that is)
Condoms were always too expensive for me when I was first starting out. Keep in mind when you are about 13,14 $5 can be spent otherwise
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-08-06 15:24:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hmm, entertaining story, but you baffle me.
How have you lived such a sheltered life? I was raised a Jehovah's Witness, and never had it even like that.
Once you turn about 16, or 17 you only remain as sheltered as you want to be, as parents can hardly stop you from "fornicating" which seems to be the way your mother must view premarital sex.
What reason would there EVER be to be embarassed about a condom purchase? I share Zoid's sentiment, although I have never purchased condoms for anal sex with a man, so it isn't QUITE the same, but almost.
Submitted by speeddaimon (user info) at 2003-08-01 19:37:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm one of those people that will go in, buy the economy box of condoms, a bottle of wine, whipped cream, cherries, a cucumber, and a pound of turkey, and thats it. Talk about getting a couple of strange looks.
Submitted by yes at 2003-08-01 19:20:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
never bought any, i just unleash on the sheep's head, they don't seem to care...
Submitted by audjgirl (user info) at 2003-08-01 19:03:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
weirdest condom experience i ever had was the time me and the boyfriend ran to the gas station drunk to get 'em. we walked over and the guy behind the counter starts hitting on me and talking about his band and the show they're playing and how great it would if i could come. my boyfriend looks at him and says "oh she'll be coming don't worry!" and proceeds to kiss me. then i said "baby get the ribbed ones cuz you know i like those best" i think the guy behind the desk wanted to die. rejection sucks LOL.
it's hard the first time to walk into the store and do it. it gets easier. and then it gets harder when you start buy 36 economy packs. LOL.
Submitted by Acarnis (user info) at 2003-08-01 17:28:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ok, this was funny.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-08-01 16:40:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why are people embarrassed to buy condoms? Im if anything, overly proud. I swagger up to the register, making sure everyone can see the rubbers in my hand, maybe giving the box a wave in the air...
Anyway, I feel like pimping myself out and referencing an earlier condom buying story of mine (I want 200 hits dammit)
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1057577286537014207
Submitted by carmex9 (user info) at 2003-08-01 13:22:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i went to highschool with everyone at the cvs in my town. every time i buy condoms i feel...kind of dirty and wierd i guess, that was the best part of college, the free condoms everywhere
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2003-08-01 13:09:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hhaahahah!
Submitted by johnnyOZ (user info) at 2003-08-01 13:06:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why don't you go to one of those stores with the self checkout? They are very popular these days. K-Mart, Tops, whatever..
John
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-08-01 12:19:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love it when men squirm over shit like this. You could also have stuck a quarter in the machine in the restroom.
Submitted by chinkydiva (user info) at 2003-08-01 12:08:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You're 18? You're just going through this phase in life? Damn you must of lived a sheltered life.
Submitted by NickTheDivine (user info) at 2003-08-01 11:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i make the gf buy them. i am a huge pussy. i did go with my friend to buy them and there were like a bajillion choices and we had no idea which to pick
Submitted by Rivers_Liebig (user info) at 2003-08-01 11:26:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Arsenal: Yes, I really think age matters. The younger you are, the more worried you are of someone passing this on to your parents. That is quite simply not cool. I mean, yes, my parents know about it, but still... its not something that you're happy about. And Arsenal... that may be the funniest thing Ive ever heard about lubricant. *laughs*
Submitted by Arsenal (user info) at 2003-08-01 11:24:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you think whether you are embarrassed the first time you bought condoms or not has anything to do with your age?
How old were you when you first and were you embarrassed?
I was 17, and it was pretty bad. Maybe it was becuase I was so worried about seeing some adult I knew, like the girls mom.
Submitted by Arsenal (user info) at 2003-08-01 11:19:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's my own little first-time-condom-buying story.
A friend and I were downtown at the library reseaching some stuff for school. I took this chance to go to the Safe Sex Store to buy the condoms, I figured this way there was no chance of running into an adult I knew and any kids were probably there for the same reason. So Jason and I go into the store and I get the the largest box of condoms I can find. (DJMatt knows what I mean) Well then my friend and I look around the store for about 10-15 min becasue, well there is some pretty funny shit there.
Finally I go up to the lady and pay. After the transaction she asks "Will you need lubricant with that?" Not thinking too clearly, probably because it was awkard being my first time buying them, I simply mumbled no and didn't realize why she was saying that. When we get out of the store, my friend starts laughing hysterically. After he stops laughing he explained to me that the lady at the counter thought we were a couple and why she would offer us lubricant.
Submitted by Goldneyes (user info) at 2003-08-01 11:17:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've never had a problem buying condoms, maybe girls have a higher tolorance for embarassing stuff. now, pregnancy tests....thats an akward trip!
Submitted by CheesyGoodness (user info) at 2003-08-01 11:16:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nah I just go for the condoms, sometimes if it's a girl working the register I ask which ones they would recommend before I go grab a pack. It's all about having fun, at least that's my opinion.
Submitted by jimmy23 <jka23.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-08-01 11:09:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the first time i bought condoms, my girlfriend was out in the truck and i was talking to the guy behind the cash register about something. I don't believe it was about how i was going to score, just how boring it must be working the late shift at a gas station. So my girlfriend had to honk the horn to get me going.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2003-08-01 10:56:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
does anyone else not buy condoms until they have other stuff to get, like deodorant or other things? so its like, you werent jus going there cuz you had to fuck, it was cuz you needed stuff, and you might as well pick some up while youre going?
lmao.
i hate that.
when i get condoms i get like the 5000000 pack, so i dont have to go back for at least 2 weeks ;)
Submitted by chicagogirl (user info) at 2003-08-01 10:51:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you will learn to not be ashamed in purchasing condoms.
Submitted by CheesyGoodness (user info) at 2003-08-01 10:35:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'd say the first time it's an annoying situation, but after that you just stop giving a shit.
Second time I bought a box o' condoms I got a weird look from the girl behind the register, so I payed and then asked her to hold on to them until later that night. I really didn't expect her to take them though...
Anyhow that's my addition to that story.
+1 for awkward condom purchases
Submitted by LotterFodder (user info) at 2003-08-01 10:28:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Worth a laugh. Those situations are horrible.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-08-01 10:25:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Um. Ok.