Attn Ubersite: I Want You To Hit Me As Hard As You Can (4586 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.93 on 354 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Matt Maiorano (View user info) at 2007-10-01 22:04:14 EDT
Here's the gist:
Ask me any question(s), and I will give you an honest answer. You can ask me anything, and I will answer EACH AND EVERY QUESTION for as long as this post exists.
Seriously, you can ask me anything. I know you guys can cook up some good ones. I'm looking at you, Shlongy.
Hit me, bitches.
User Reviews
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2008-10-23 01:46:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-10-22 13:19:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Matt:
What can you do about getting sage104 kicked off Ubersite for stealing the idea that I'm pretty sure you stole from someone else, but she's doing a shitty job at?
Signed;
Bored in Shlongytown
-----------------------------
I can write a strongly worded letter to Bart, where he'll promptly laugh at my sorry ass for being such a raging vagina. Secondly, I don't think anybody on this website did this before me. Correct me if I'm wrong.
But in either case, we all know that you started everything that was good back in '53 over a bucket of clams with Winston Churchill.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-10-22 17:36:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice. I just got here though so it's not my responsibility to look into every post ever posted on ubersite and not copy them. I'm sure you weren't the first and I'm certainly not the last...but mine was definitely the best.
I win.
Points for you anyway, though.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-10-22 13:19:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Matt:
What can you do about getting sage104 kicked off Ubersite for stealing the idea that I'm pretty sure you stole from someone else, but she's doing a shitty job at?
Signed;
Bored in Shlongytown
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-05-15 10:02:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2008-05-09 19:01:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-05-09 09:05:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you ever get that threesome with your pool-shark Girlfriend?
I didn't read the reviews so if someone already asked...fuck 'em
---------------------------------
Alas, no. The idea had come up several times, but in the end the teasing was too much for me to handle, so I ended up killing her with a claw hammer to the eye socket.
--------
Equally as gratifying. Just in a different way.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2008-05-09 19:01:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-05-09 09:05:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you ever get that threesome with your pool-shark Girlfriend?
I didn't read the reviews so if someone already asked...fuck 'em
---------------------------------
Alas, no. The idea had come up several times, but in the end the teasing was too much for me to handle, so I ended up killing her with a claw hammer to the eye socket.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-05-09 09:05:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you ever get that threesome with your pool-shark Girlfriend?
I didn't read the reviews so if someone already asked...fuck 'em.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-29 21:01:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, at least this time he made it past the first round.
Silva's a bad, bad man. I don't who could stand a real chance against him.
It's the accuracy of his striking. The man can hit you multiple times AS you're falling down. A good example was his fight with Chris Leben. That one ended in the first round, but Silva did land three or four solid shots as Chris was falling down. Pretty brutal.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-29 03:02:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-28 14:52:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Franklin vs. Silva II
In case you missed it: http://tinyurl.com/2pgz66
--------------------------
Yeah, I saw it. Franklin had his face fucking rocked off.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-28 14:52:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Franklin vs. Silva II
In case you missed it: http://tinyurl.com/2pgz66
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-20 22:08:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-20 10:10:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The one you omitted previously:
Some of the more pessimistic economists believe that 20-something Americans today may be the first generation to be financially worse off than their parents (as a group). Have you noticed this personally? How do your financial well-being compare to the well-being of your parents when they were your age?
And now, I shall close with the questionnaire made famous by the great Bernard Pivot.
What is your favorite word?
What is your least favorite word?
What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]?
What turns you off?
What sound or noise do you love?
What sound or noise do you hate?
What is your favorite curse word?
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
What profession would you not like to do?
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
---------------------------------------------------
1. I'm pretty sure I'm about the same, or better off. My dad is the kind of guy who keeps telling me how shitty he had it when he was on his own, but I'm doing ok for myself.
2. Gravyboat.
3. Yoghurt
4. Nothing. Generally, my mental erections are spontaneous.
5. Poor choice of words.
6. A woman's ass slapping against me.
7. Cicadas.
8. Fuckface.
9. Music Producer.
10. Pig farmer.
11. "Right this way, sir."
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-20 10:10:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The one you omitted previously:
Some of the more pessimistic economists believe that 20-something Americans today may be the first generation to be financially worse off than their parents (as a group). Have you noticed this personally? How do your financial well-being compare to the well-being of your parents when they were your age?
And now, I shall close with the questionnaire made famous by the great Bernard Pivot.
What is your favorite word?
What is your least favorite word?
What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]?
What turns you off?
What sound or noise do you love?
What sound or noise do you hate?
What is your favorite curse word?
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
What profession would you not like to do?
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-15 14:03:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-14 11:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Someone born eighty years ago has witnessed incredible leaps in technology. What is commonplace today was purely the realm of science fiction back then. Since we can probably expect this rapid growth of technology to continue indefinately, what "science fiction" technology would you most like to see become commonplace in your lifetime (ie flying cars, light saber, etc.)?
Some of the more pessimistic economists believe that 20-something Americans today may be the first generation to be financially worse off than their parents (as a group). Have you noticed this personally? How do your financial well-being compare to the well-being of your parents when they were your age?
Are you currently taking any prescription medication?
Who is your favorite U.S. president?
If you could go back in time and crush the still-soft skull of newborn baby Hitler, would you do it?
Is answering "no" to the above question equivalent to asserting that the world today is a better place because Hitler existed?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
1. Organic computers and flying cars are the only things I can conceive of right now. Light sabers will NEVER be an invention because of several reasons: The blade itself would carry no weight, thus the center of gravity of the saber would be in the hilt, making it just as likely for you to cut one of your own limbs off as somebody else's. The other reason is that focused light cannot stop at any given point without being contained. The blade would be FAR too long to be considered useful.
2. No. I never liked medication, unless it's for pain after surgery. In that case, then I love Percocet (or however you spell it).
3. I don't care what anybody says, I actually really liked Clinton. As far as my FAVORITE goes, though, I'd have to go with Lincoln. He's one of the reasons why I wanted to learn how to articulate myself goodly.
4. No, but I would probably shoot him after he finished his first painting.
5. No. A lot of people find the reasoning behind punishing a man for sins he hasn't yet committed flawed. While the events of the Holocaust were tragic and horrifying, I feel that events like this in history also serve some sort of purpose, and people in general are able to look at these historical events and learn something from them.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-14 11:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Franklin vs. Silva- UFC 64 http://tinyurl.com/2wvq4z
In my opinion, in spite of Franklin's record, Silva's victory didn't look like a fluke. However, I've heard that Franklin has changed a lot of his training routine and altered his overall fight plan quite a bit. If that's true, then this really might be anyone's fight. If not, I'd expect Silva to win again.
Course, it'd be kind of hard for any change in Franklin's strategy not to be an improvement. Watch the video. It seems his orginal strategy was to use his head and torso to block the knees of Silva. Probably not the best idea.
~~~~~~~~~
Someone born eighty years ago has witnessed incredible leaps in technology. What is commonplace today was purely the realm of science fiction back then. Since we can probably expect this rapid growth of technology to continue indefinately, what "science fiction" technology would you most like to see become commonplace in your lifetime (ie flying cars, light saber, etc.)?
Some of the more pessimistic economists believe that 20-something Americans today may be the first generation to be financially worse off than their parents (as a group). Have you noticed this personally? How do your financial well-being compare to the well-being of your parents when they were your age?
Are you currently taking any prescription medication?
Who is your favorite U.S. president?
If you could go back in time and crush the still-soft skull of newborn baby Hitler, would you do it?
Is answering "no" to the above question equivalent to asserting that the world today is a better place because Hitler existed?
Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2007-10-12 12:27:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, unfortunately you were off on the Fedor question. That really screwed things up. Now Randy has resigned from UFC and we'll have to hope those two will meet up in M-1.
RE Silva-Franklin
"9. It's hard to say. He may have lost against Silva a year ago, but his records suggest that it could have been a fluke. I haven't watched either fight, but judging by records alone I'm gonna have to go with Rich Franklin on this one."
Holy shit, go watch their fight, it was a total fucking dismantling. This one will be closer but I still thing Silva will win. (disclaimer: my fight predictions are wrong about 85% of the time)
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-11 23:52:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-11 21:38:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's your resting heart rate? (Looking for a number, not a definition)
What's your favorite book?
Do you feel that you particularly, or people in general, have a moral obligation to donate (time, money, goods, etc) to charity?
Karma. The universe "balancing the scales" or wishful thinking of an oppressed underclass?
What's your fondest memory from high school?
Given the opportunity, which uberuser (if any) would you most like to meet?
If you could be granted the abilities of any master tradesman, whose abilites would you want most (ie welder, carpenter, cement mason, etc.)?
What's the fastest time you've ever run a mile?
Who's your money on, Anderson Silva or Rich Franklin?
---------------------------------------------------------------------
1. About 82 bpm. I just changed a light bulb that was inside one of those impossibly shitty light fixtures.
2. "Sphere" by Michael Crichton.
3. No, but it doesn't stop me from donating once in a while anyway.
4. Karma does not exist, and the people who believe in it are not an "oppressed underclass", because the surprising majority foolishly believe in karma in one way or another. One of the most profound questions in human history has been "why do bad things happen to good people?" According to Karma, bad things shouldn't/won't happen to good people. Conversely, the question "why do good things happen to bad people?" is also directly opposed to the idea of karma. As for the first question, Christian theologists acknowledge that even Jesus couldn't answer it before he died ("My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?") Things happen either out of pure coincidence or because other people make choices without realizing these choices affect others.
5. I was wrestling some guy and he made a grab for my leg so I pushed him away by his head. He didn't like it so he started slapping me directly in the face, so the ref awarded me a warning point. The kid gave me a smug little smirk, so I proceeded to take him apart slowly. I grabbed one of his arms with one arm and the back of his neck with the other and muscled him all over the mat, throwing him everywhere and taking him down with brute strength (back then, I was actually pretty strong). After I would take him down, I would let him back up again, and kept up with the embarrassment for all three rounds. The best part was that his girlfriend was taking score for the match and I got her number afterwards.
6. There are SO many I've met, and SO many I have yet to meet. I'm gonna have to go with Crystle for several reasons: Firstly, she's a fucking cool cat. Secondly, she seems like the kind of chick who you can sit down with over a few beers and the conversation could NEVER get old. Plus, she's kinda cute.
7. Would a UFC fighter be considered a "master tradesman"? If so, I would pick that. If not, I'd probably pick master chef.
8. 6 minutes 17 seconds.
9. It's hard to say. He may have lost against Silva a year ago, but his records suggest that it could have been a fluke. I haven't watched either fight, but judging by records alone I'm gonna have to go with Rich Franklin on this one.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-11 21:38:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's your resting heart rate? (Looking for a number, not a definition)
What's your favorite book?
Do you feel that you particularly, or people in general, have a moral obligation to donate (time, money, goods, etc) to charity?
Karma. The universe "balancing the scales" or wishful thinking of an oppressed underclass?
What's your fondest memory from high school?
Given the opportunity, which uberuser (if any) would you most like to meet?
If you could be granted the abilities of any master tradesman, whose abilites would you want most (ie welder, carpenter, cement mason, etc.)?
What's the fastest time you've ever run a mile?
Who's your money on, Anderson Silva or Rich Franklin?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-10 22:01:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-10 21:06:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HONEST (although admittedly not serious) QUESTION: Do you want fries with that?
See, I'm an engineer, and part of the reason I expended so much effort in school and afterward to be able to call myself an engineer is so that I would never have to ask that question seriously.
-------------------------------------------------
There's this place over near where I work called "Five Guys Burgers and Fries", and holy assholes that place is the most incredible burger joint in existence. They only have four types of burgers: Hamburger, Cheeseburger, Bacon Burger, and Bacon Cheeseburger. All toppings are free (I always get mayo, pickles, mushrooms, and jalapenos), they always give you two patties, and you get a choice of either a regular or large fry with that. If you want a drink, it only comes in one size: large. The fries are cooked in 100% pure peanut oil (glaaaaaaahhhhhhhh) and dumped on top of your burger in a brown paper bag after the burger is wrapped in foil. Everything is so deliciously greasy that in a matter of seconds the paper bag is clear.
So yes. I will ALWAYS get fries with that, even if I'm not that hungry.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-10 21:06:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HONEST (although admittedly not serious) QUESTION: Do you want fries with that?
See, I'm an engineer, and part of the reason I expended so much effort in school and afterward to be able to call myself an engineer is so that I would never have to ask that question seriously.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-09 19:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:12:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HONEST QUESTION: What one adjective would you use to describe your general demeanor?
--------------------------------------
Generally, I'm actually not entirely sure. I know that a lot of the time I'm very awkward. Then there are other times when I'm relaxed and generally fun to be around. I'm gonna have to go with 'awkward' on this one, though. Not a lot of people don't know what to make of me when they first talk to me.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:12:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HONEST QUESTION: What one adjective would you use to describe your general demeanor?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-08 23:08:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-08 21:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you were drafted tomorrow, would you obey the draft order or flee to Canada, knowing that, barring a Ford-style mass pardon, you may never be legally allowed back in the U.S.?
Do you think women should have to register for the draft when they turn 18 as men do?
Wouldn't that be a policy more consistent with the whole "women and men are equal" idea?
Who would you rather fornicate with, Jenna Bush or Chelsea Clinton? (before you answer, google image search Chelsea, she's had work done)
If you had to choose, would you take your chances as a POW, or save the last bullet for yourself?
---------------------------------------------------------------------
1. I would obey the draft. Firstly, I wasn't allowed to join the military because my eyesight is worse than a -8.00 (that's REALLY FUCKING BAD, if you don't know what that means). Secondly, depending on what I was being drafted for, I could always eat a few sticks of chalk to raise my blood pressure significantly enough where they would reject me. If I'm behind the front line, however, then I probably wouldn't mind too much.
2. Actually, I don't really even believe that women make good soldiers. It's kinda like wrestling: sure, they can fight, and every now and then you have a chick who can really kick ass, but women just aren't physically capable of fighting as men are. Also, I wouldn't want a child's mother to be sent off during a war. No child should ever be separated from their mother like that.
3. Not really. It's one thing to pay a woman less for doing the same job as a man, but it's quite another to make EVERYONE have to sign up for a draft. I think that a draft infringes on our rights as people overall, so to say that women have the same LACK of rights as men is ludicrous. Also, we don't have to sign up for a draft.
4. I'd rather FUCK Chelsea Clinton. I bet she could suck a mean cock. Also, I would rather not sleep with a chick who reminds me of George Bush.
5. I don't believe in suicide as an option. I'd take my chances as a POW.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-08 21:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you were drafted tomorrow, would you obey the draft order or flee to Canada, knowing that, barring a Ford-style mass pardon, you may never be legally allowed back in the U.S.?
Do you think women should have to register for the draft when they turn 18 as men do?
Wouldn't that be a policy more consistent with the whole "women and men are equal" idea?
Who would you rather fornicate with, Jenna Bush or Chelsea Clinton? (before you answer, google image search Chelsea, she's had work done)
If you had to choose, would you take your chances as a POW, or save the last bullet for yourself?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-08 21:20:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-08 21:13:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah. Guess I was confused on what you meant by "honest answer". Mea culpa.
---------------------------
I actually considered giving honest answers for ALL the questions, but then I realized that this is Ubersite. I'll be lucky if I get a handful of honest questions. So what I decided was that for every serious question that was posed, I gave it a lot of thought and gave a serious answer. Everything else I would try my best to give at least an interesting response.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-08 21:13:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah. Guess I was confused on what you meant by "honest answer". Mea culpa.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-08 21:07:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-08 20:16:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you think the effort you're putting into this post is worth the imagined reward?
--------------------------------
Not a whole lot of effort was put in, really. I answered questions whenever I had the time (ie: I was bored). And the reward that I got WASN'T imagined. I seriously did receive oral sex from 3 18 year-old swimsuit models while Bob Barker made me sandwiches.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-08 16:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
who is your daddy and what does he do?
who is the whoriest girl you know and what makes this girl so whorey?
Do you think women are attracted to me?
Have you ever had your asshole licked out by a fat man in an overcoat?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. HE'S A COP, YOU IDIOT!!!
2. The whoriest girl I know is this whore named Betty. What makes this girl so whorey is the fact that she exchanges sex for money, and asks me all the time: "YO, YOU GOT ANY ROCK!?!?"
3. That depends. Are you made out of chocolate?
4. There was a distinct lack of overcoat.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-08 20:16:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you think the effort you're putting into this post is worth the imagined reward?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-10-08 19:10:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-07 10:59:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-10-07 05:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHO ARE YOU?
------------------------------------------------
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next
---
While an excellent response and certainly more than satisfactory - the answer I was going for was: Batman.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-08 16:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have you ever had your asshole licked out by a fat man in an overcoat?
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-08 16:21:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
who is the whoriest girl you know and what makes this girl so whorey?
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-08 16:19:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you think women are attracted to me?
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-08 16:16:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
who is your daddy and what does he do?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-08 01:38:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-10-08 01:21:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck norris?
------------------------------------------------------------------
A wood chuck would chuck no chuck norris, even if a wood chuck could chuck norris
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-10-08 01:21:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck norris?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-07 19:17:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-07 18:54:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you could either have the ability to fly or become invisible at will, which would you choose?
Why are the Chinese holding the value of their currency artifically low?
How old were you and what was the first image of sex/sexuality you remember veiwing (ie Sear's catelog underwear section, Dad's Playboy, etc.)?
By the time your kid reaches college-age, how much will a 4-year degree cost (tuition, fees, and books)?
If you could either die tomorrow a national hero or live the next fifty years as a national coward, which would you choose?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
1. This is a hard one. I would probably pick flying over invisibility, but there are a couple of issues. Being able to fly doesn't necessarily mean I'm able to fly FAST. How fast would I be able to go in this case? Would it be my top running speed? Because that's pretty slow if I'm trying to go cross-country. Would it be supersonic? Would I be able to fly as high as I want without freezing to death or passing out from the lack of oxygen? Would I have to flap my arms in order to stay aloft or would I be able to rise off the ground through sheer will? It really depends. If I'm a slow flyer, can't go very high, and have to flap my arms, then I certainly wouldn't have much of a power. I'd choose invisibility in that case. However, If I can at least move at supersonic speeds and not have to flap my arms like an epileptic retard, then I would choose flying.
2. Chinese exports are cheaper for U.S. consumers to buy. The problem is that since U.S. exports to China are more expensive, it fuels a worsening trade deficit and destabilizes the U.S. economy.
3. "The Chinese Connection" with Bruce Lee. My dad had it playing for me and my brothers once. There was a scene with a Japanese stripper that solidified my love for Asian women, even at the young age of 6 years old, I would still pop the tape in the VCR and watch that scene over and over again.
4. Average tuition alone will cost nearly $98,000. With books and fees, we're looking at probably over $110,000.
5. I'd rather die a notional hero than have everybody hate me or my family be embarrassed by me.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-07 18:54:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you could either have the ability to fly or become invisible at will, which would you choose?
Why are the Chinese holding the value of their currency artifically low?
How old were you and what was the first image of sex/sexuality you remember veiwing (ie Sear's catelog underwear section, Dad's Playboy, etc.)?
By the time your kid reaches college-age, how much will a 4-year degree cost (tuition, fees, and books)?
If you could either die tomorrow a national hero or live the next fifty years as a national coward, which would you choose?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-07 18:45:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-10-07 18:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
can't be arsed reading the replies.
have you ever picked your nose and ate it?
----------------------------------------------------------
Actually, no. Even at 3 years old I knew it was gross. Closest thing I've done was after a wrestling match in which I had a nosebleed, I sat down in the bleachers and realized my nose felt stuffy. I sucked it back as hard as I could, and my mouth immediately was filled to the brim with the blood clot inside my nose. I was so shocked by the sheer size of the clot that I ended up swallowing it.
You can imagine what transpired from there.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-10-07 18:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
can't be arsed reading the replies.
have you ever picked your nose and ate it?
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-10-07 17:29:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn! You're a smart mofo!
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-07 15:26:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-10-07 12:03:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you could bitch slap someone, and get away with it, who would you do?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dick Cheney all the way. Biggest cocksmoker ever.
Submitted by pshuu (user info) at 2007-10-07 12:00:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What decision in your life has been the absolute worst (i.e - something extremely bad happened that changed your life completely)?
What was your favorite movie of 2007?
What type monster do you think will be introduced in 01/18/08 (aka Cloverfield Project)? [Please elaborate farther beyond "big", "scary", "mean" and "aquatic". Think in terms of monster-types it might mimic (not Godzilla).]
What song did Alanis Morissette sing for the Chronicles of Narnia Soundtrack?
In Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, where was the desert diner located? (In real life, not in the movie's plot/storyline.)
What number answers this question: how many sexual partners have you had full intercourse with?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. This: http://www.ubersite.com/m/61868
2. Smokin' Aces. I was surprised at how much of a kickass movie it was considering most movies with an all-star cast blow.
3. The director was actually inspired to make the film when he went shopping for Godzilla toys, so don't try and tell me that it won't mimic Godzilla in one way or another. I also know that the monster was rumored to be some sort of parasite, as suggested by a working title called "The Parasite". My guess is that it will be just a standard CG dragon/dinosaur monster thing, because good ideas for monsters are scarce these days.
4. Wunderkind. Haven't listened to it yet, but I'd imagine it was pretty good considering I enjoyed the movie's soundtrack overall.
5. I'm gonna guess on this one: Arizona. Even Google wasn't able to give me the answer for that one.
6. 7. Wanna be number 8?
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-10-07 12:03:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you could bitch slap someone, and get away with it, who would you do?
Submitted by pshuu (user info) at 2007-10-07 12:00:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What decision in your life has been the absolute worst (i.e - something extremely bad happened that changed your life completely)?
What was your favorite movie of 2007?
What type monster do you think will be introduced in 01/18/08 (aka Cloverfield Project)? [Please elaborate farther beyond "big", "scary", "mean" and "aquatic". Think in terms of monster-types it might mimic (not Godzilla).]
What song did Alanis Morissette sing for the Chronicles of Narnia Soundtrack?
In Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, where was the desert diner located? (In real life, not in the movie's plot/storyline.)
What number answers this question: how many sexual partners have you had full intercourse with?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-07 11:38:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-10-07 11:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How old were you when you lost your virginity?
--------------------------
16, and it was in the back of this piece of shit Volkswagon with different colored hubcaps I used to have. This was also in the back of my old grade-school playground, so the act itself was especially filthy.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-07 11:36:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-10-07 11:21:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BTW ; Will timetravel be feasable, when on the event horizon of a black hole ?
Or in other news, can i travel back in time, when flying above warp 1 ?
Questions, questions...
-----------------------------
Unfortunately, no. The event horizon of a black hole is the point when all events cease to exist, and the escape velocity of the gravitational pull of the black hole itself is greater than the speed of light. What's strange about this is that if an outside observer witnesses you fall into the event horizon, it would appear that you simply freeze there and your image stays even though you've most likely been torn apart atom by atom.
Laws of relativity also prevent you from moving faster than the speed of light, so unfortunately, the idea itself isn't possible. That is, unless you can fold space-time itself like the movie Event Horizon, then maybe you could go around the laws of relativity, but it aint likely.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-10-07 11:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How old were you when you lost your virginity?
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-10-07 11:21:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BTW ; Will timetravel be feasable, when on the event horizon of a black hole ?
Or in other news, can i travel back in time, when flying above warp 1 ?
Questions, questions...
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-10-07 11:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-07 10:59:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-10-07 05:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHO ARE YOU?
------------------------------------------------
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next
It will be the next, i'm on my way to kill you. Altough, in that case we miss the tremendous fights in the Colosseum. Grr,that's a tough one.Glory to the Empire!
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-07 10:59:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-10-07 05:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHO ARE YOU?
------------------------------------------------
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-10-07 05:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHO ARE YOU?
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-10-07 05:24:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, i meant what are the minimum and maximum lengths that the buffer spring should be before the spring goes bad and needs to be replaced. But your answer was actually quite interesting.
The correct answer to my question was 11 3/4 inches minimum and 13 1/2 inches maximum. If the length of the spring does not fit within those dimensions, the spring must be replaced.
Good Job, though. You get a cookie.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-07 03:33:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-07 02:59:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am not sure of the specific classification of the monster living in my closet. What is his name and where did he (she? it?) come from?
------------------------------------------------------------
From what I understand, the Boogeyman was fired for voyeurism...... inside his emplyer's closet, ironically enough. This new guy that's hanging out in your closet, his name is Todd. He holds poker games in there every Friday and Saturday. The rest of the time he just kinda drinks beer with Pennywise. On the one hand, they really won't do much except keep you awake with conversations about which is better: Amateur Porn or Pornstar Porn.
The conversations get to be pretty funny, but that doesn't mean you can join in. They'll still sodomize you with bowling pins.
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-10-07 02:24:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is the minimum functional length (in inches) of the buffer spring on an M16A2 assault rifle? What is the maximum?
------------------------------------------------------------
Are you referring to the Elastic Potential Energy of the spring itself, how far it can stretch and its free length?
If so, the formula is: (1/2) * K * X^2
K is equal to the spring constant, and in this case the spring constant is equal to approximately 1.46 lbf/in.
Here's some other information about the buffer spring:
Maximum load possible, Fmax: 15.5 lbf
Maximum shear stress possible, tmax: 107 ksi
Maximum displacement possible, Ldef: 10.6 in
Length of wire required to make spring: 107 in
Solid height: 2.77 in
Distance between coils in free spring: 0.362 in
Rise angle of coils: 7.56 deg
Lowest spring resonant frequency, fres: 35.0 Hz
Shear modulus of material, G: 76.9 GPa
Mass of spring: 1.84 oz
Hope that answers your question.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-07 02:59:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-06 06:15:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why wont the voices in my head just leave me alone?
-----------------------------------
Because they want you to burn things. Have you burned anything yet?
No?
Better get started. They're only quiet when things are on fire.
----------
As a matter of fact...
did you know ping pong balls are flammable? Because I didnt until last night. I know that if you hold a light underneath a dented ball then the air inside will expand and push the dent back out, but I wasnt aware that the ball would ignite and burn my finger if I put it directly on the flame. All things considered, it was perfectly hilarious, and I enjoy learning new things.
A few minutes later, some kid walked into our room with a coffee mug full of everclear, and then he set the mug on fire. He meant to get the everclear but the entire mug blew up in his hand, creating another hilarious fire in our basement. We let this one go for a few minutes before pouring beer on it. Fun was had. The voices in my head were satisfied.
I am not sure of the specific classification of the monster living in my closet. What is his name and where did he (she? it?) come from?
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-10-07 02:24:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is the minimum functional length (in inches) of the buffer spring on an M16A2 assault rifle? What is the maximum?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-07 01:21:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fatterrific (user info) at 2007-10-06 23:55:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Matt: If your mother was dying of a debilitating, agonizingly painful, slow-progressing disease, and the ONLY way to cure her was for you to violently fuck her up the ass, would you do it?
---------------------------------------------------
That is a horrible question.
Of course I'd do it.
After I toss a load in her mouth.
Submitted by Fatterrific (user info) at 2007-10-06 23:55:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Matt: If your mother was dying of a debilitating, agonizingly painful, slow-progressing disease, and the ONLY way to cure her was for you to violently fuck her up the ass, would you do it?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-06 13:55:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-06 11:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wanna suck face?
-----------------------------------
Absolutely.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-06 11:55:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where have all the cowboys gone?
-----------------------------------
A nice little place called "Brokeback Mountain".
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-06 11:31:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I-IIIIIIIIIIIII wanna know...Have you ever seen the rain?
-----------------------------------
Someone told me long ago theres a calm before the storm,
I know; its been comin for some time
When its over, so they say, itll rain a sunny day,
I know; shinin down like water
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-06 10:42:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why do you build me up, buttercup, just to let me down?
-----------------------------------
I need you more than anyone, darlin'
You know that I have from the start
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-10-06 09:20:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have you ever been insecure about your performance in bed?
-----------------------------------
Very VERY rarely.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2007-10-06 09:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Peanut butter: Crunchy or smooth?
-----------------------------------
Smooth, all the way. Crunchy peanut butter looks like shit on a spoon.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-06 06:15:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why wont the voices in my head just leave me alone?
-----------------------------------
Because they want you to burn things. Have you burned anything yet?
No?
Better get started. They're only quiet when things are on fire.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-06 11:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wanna suck face?
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-06 11:55:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where have all the cowboys gone?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-06 11:31:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I-IIIIIIIIIIIII wanna know...Have you ever seen the rain?
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-06 10:42:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why do you build me up, buttercup, just to let me down?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-06 10:08:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAhahahahahahahaha Touche
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-10-06 09:39:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:D
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-10-06 09:39:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111836#2529563
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-10-06 09:38:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:(
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-06 09:22:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Erm, is there something you wanna talk about Red?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-10-06 09:20:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have you ever been insecure about your performance in bed?
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2007-10-06 09:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Peanut butter: Crunchy or smooth?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-06 06:15:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why wont the voices in my head just leave me alone?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-05 17:55:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FatTony (user info) at 2007-10-05 15:38:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Have you ever masturbated to Shlongy?
-------------------------------
Shockingly, no. Although, I have touched myself thinking about giving you a good tittyfuck.
Submitted by FatTony (user info) at 2007-10-05 15:38:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Have you ever masturbated to Shlongy?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-05 13:32:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-05 10:50:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1) Two train stations are 500 miles apart, connected by straight tracks. If a Train Engine A leaves station A for station B traveling 50 miles per hour at noon, and Train Engine B leaves station B for station A traveling 100 miles per hour one and one-half hours later, where will the two meet?
2) Train Engine A weighs 75,000 pounds. Train Engine B weighs 50,000 pounds. The steel/steel sliding friction coefficient is 0.25. How far and in which direction from the point at which they meet in the previous problem will the Engines come to rest? Assume no energy is dissipated in crushing the Engines and splattering the Engineers, and that the trains remain on the tracks.
-----------------------------------
1) I'm confused by the wording of this question. Is Train B traveling 100 mph one and one-half hours later AFTER noon? Or after it leaves the station? When did train A leave its station? The time variables aren't clear enough for me to give you a solid answer.
2) Since I couldn't answer the first question due to how poorly worded it was, I'm just going to say that the answer is "brown".
Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2007-10-05 08:54:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Who will Fedor sign with?
-----------------------------------
Everybody knows it's gonna be the UFC. He'd be a fool not to, especially with his record.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-05 10:50:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1) Two train stations are 500 miles apart, connected by straight tracks. If a Train Engine A leaves station A for station B traveling 50 miles per hour at noon, and Train Engine B leaves station B for station A traveling 100 miles per hour one and one-half hours later, where will the two meet?
2) Train Engine A weighs 75,000 pounds. Train Engine B weighs 50,000 pounds. The steel/steel sliding friction coefficient is 0.25. How far and in which direction from the point at which they meet in the previous problem will the Engines come to rest? Assume no energy is dissipated in crushing the Engines and splattering the Engineers, and that the trains remain on the tracks.
Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2007-10-05 08:54:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Who will Fedor sign with?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-04 23:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-10-04 23:18:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you stronger than me?
(hint: the answer is a two-lettered word that begins with 'N')
-----------------------------------------------------
We are the knights that say...... NI!! NI!!!!
So yes. Since I am indeed a memeber of this order, I will fucking break you in half by farting in your direction.
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-10-04 23:18:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you stronger than me?
(hint: the answer is a two-lettered word that begins with 'N')
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-04 19:58:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by anass (user info) at 2007-10-04 17:35:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whats your social security number and where do you live?
---------------------------
I already explained to somebody else that your social security number is basically your identification code that's issued to you soon after birth. It helps keep track of important things, like bad credit. I'm surprised at how many of you don't know what a social security number is.
I also live in an apartment.
Submitted by anass (user info) at 2007-10-04 17:35:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whats your social security number and where do you live?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:53:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, that is cool. My son is nearly 10 months old it is amazing how fast the time goes by. I am amazed at how he has grown, how he says yes and no and stands unaided. But part of me is sad - my baby is not really a baby anymore.
Cherish your daughter, honestly in 7 years time (the age of my eldest) you will have forgotten so much.
Thanks for a very entertaining and interactive post.
Toodle-pip.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is the hierarchy here?
Pirates, Space Pirates, Sharks?
-----------------------------
Are you fucking serious?
1. Space Pirates - They're fucking pirates........ IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!
2. Pirates - They're fucking space pirates....... ON EAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTH!!!!!
3. Sharks - They're fucking eaten....... BY PIIIIIIIIRAAAAAAAAATES!!!!!!!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is the hierarchy here?
Pirates, Space Pirates, Sharks?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-04 14:38:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-04 14:31:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHOA! I didn't know you had a daughter!?!?!?
Seriously? How old is she?
------------------------------------------
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111601
Almost 10 months now. I've kept everything about my personal life off Uber as much as possible, but I figured I could let everybody know about at least this.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-04 14:31:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHOA! I didn't know you had a daughter!?!?!?
Seriously? How old is she?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-04 14:25:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-04 14:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good answer
-----------------
Why thank you. I'm glad I could help.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-04 14:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good answer
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-04 13:59:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-04 13:06:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Last one from me - what is your favourite book? Also stay away from that slut Candyfloss, she will only break your heart.
---------------------------------------------
"Sphere" by Michael Crichton. It's been a long time since I've picked up a real book. I just bought "The Alphabet of Manliness" and it's pretty decent.
How will she break my heart? After I eat her box, she won't give me a blowjob or something? Psshh.
Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2007-10-04 12:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Has there ever been, or will there ever be, a better post than:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/58601
---------------------------------------------
I found it funny how he kept linking to Goatse, and called it the Guild Of Activists Toward Social Equality, and had the picture at the end. Aside from that, it really didn't get a whole lot out of me. There was a titter or two, but I've seen better.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-04 11:52:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is your bank name, bank account number and bank sort code?
---------------------------------------------
My bank's name is what helps me distinguish it from other banks. It would be pretty silly if all banks names were "Bank". Now, the tricky thing about bank account numbers is that there's more than one type. A regular bank account number is just a imple series of numbers that serves almost as an identification code for your account. However, an IBAN is an international standard for identifying bank accounts across national borders. Unfortunately, however, the USA hasn't adopted this form of banking, mostly because American banking mostly takes place within America's own borders.
As for your last question about what a bank sort code is, it's simply a number which is assigned to a branch of a bank for internal purposes. Banks use sort codes as it is easier than writing the full address of the branch out and it tells customers which branch they are at.
Hope this helps you with your future banking.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-04 13:06:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Last one from me - what is your favourite book? Also stay away from that slut Candyfloss, she will only break your heart.
Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2007-10-04 12:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Has there ever been, or will there ever be, a better post than:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/58601
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-04 11:52:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is your bank name, bank account number and bank sort code?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-04 09:22:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by candyfloss01 (user info) at 2007-10-04 05:44:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lick me out?
----------------------------
Lick you out?
Does that mean eating you out?
Because usually if I'm eating someone out, simply "licking" isn't going to get the job done. I gotta dive into that shit and have myself a stinkfish buffet.
You must be easy to please.
Submitted by candyfloss01 (user info) at 2007-10-04 05:44:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lick me out?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 23:21:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-03 23:18:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Go to bed. You'll ruin your eyes staring at the screen for 21 hours a day.
...and "that's Amore"
-------------------------------
ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?!?
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-03 23:18:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Go to bed. You'll ruin your eyes staring at the screen for 21 hours a day.
...and "that's Amore"
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 23:11:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-03 23:04:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, what's that?
-----------------------------
That's a meteor shower.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-03 23:04:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, what's that?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 22:41:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-03 21:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why have you ignored my question? http://www.ubersite.com/m/112138#2542840
Oh well, I have more.
What's your greatest fear?
If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who'd it be?
If you could fight anyone, living or dead, who'd you fight? (assume the dead person would be brought back to life. I'd imagine meeting/fighting a corpse wouldn't be too awful interesting.)
Up to this point in your life, what do you view as your greatest accomplishment?
Would you murder someone you knew to be really horrible (ie child molester, etc.) if you knew you could do it and not get caught?
Why don't you do those eyeballed posts anymore?
Knowing that the gravitational attraction force is proportional to 1/(r^2) with r=distance between the centers of mass of two bodies, if you dug a hole straight through the earth and out the other side and jumped in it, could you oscillate falling through the hole idefinately?
Why do electrical fields induce magnetic fields, and vice versa?
-----------------------------------------------
I thought when you said "not my question" you didn't care for me to answer it. I didn't realize you meant "That was Chuck Palahniuk's question, even though you clearly know this because I put his name right by the quote". And to answer that question, I feel that God's worst enemies are doomed to nonexistence eventually, so I might as well enjoy it while I could. My will is too weak to actually believe I would choose nonexistence if I were ever confronted with a choice like that.
My greatest fear is never making a positive impact on anybody's lives.
Jon Stewart. I just want to sit down with the man over a few pitchers of beer, and just listen to what he has to say. Such an incredible mind.
Mussolini. He was a coward and a bully, and I just want to see if he'd be able to hold his own against a skinny little shit like me.
My daughter.
I probably wouldn't KILL him, but I would probably torture him for as long as possible.
I have lots of ideas, I just haven't gotten around to making them. Between school, work, raising a baby, and a slew of other things, it's a bit hard for me to write a comic.
No. Wind resistence gets in the way, so you will fall back and forth until you stop in the middle, where you will most likely be crushed by gravitational forces.
That's like asking why plants expel oxygen and thrive on carbon dioxide while living organisms expel carbon dioxide and thrive on oxygen. It's probably because you touch yourself in the shower.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-03 21:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why have you ignored my question? http://www.ubersite.com/m/112138#2542840
Oh well, I have more.
What's your greatest fear?
If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who'd it be?
If you could fight anyone, living or dead, who'd you fight? (assume the dead person would be brought back to life. I'd imagine meeting/fighting a corpse wouldn't be too awful interesting.)
Up to this point in your life, what do you view as your greatest accomplishment?
Would you murder someone you knew to be really horrible (ie child molester, etc.) if you knew you could do it and not get caught?
Why don't you do those eyeballed posts anymore?
Knowing that the gravitational attraction force is proportional to 1/(r^2) with r=distance between the centers of mass of two bodies, if you dug a hole straight through the earth and out the other side and jumped in it, could you oscillate falling through the hole idefinately?
Why do electrical fields induce magnetic fields, and vice versa?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 15:27:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:54:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
have you ever played Dungeons and Dragons?
---------------------------------------------------------
Surprisingly, no. I hear it's a lot of fun, though.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:43:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where do babies come from?
---------------------------------------------------------
Gangrape.
Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:39:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
But whom killed him and why?
---------------------------------------------------------
James Dupont, 34, has lived a life of crime and drug dealing, as well as being worked by the local mafia. Even though he was great at doing his job, he was failing to pay all money he made to the mafia, and he has been warned and almost caught many a times that if he was caught stealing from them, he would be sleeping with the fishies.
Today would be his last day being alive. As James worked a corner selling people the drugs they want, one of the people from the mafia spyed upon him and noticed that bits of money was being pocketed and the rest placed into an envelope. He was busted on the spot. The spy left to tell the boss what he seen and the boss didn't liked what he heard. He didn't like that he wasn't being paid in full. He didn't like people whom backstabbed him. After James worked the corner, he headed to the Riverside Warehouses to deliever the money he made, unknowning that the boss and few of is helpers awaited him.
As James approached the boss to deliver the cash, his helpers grab him by the arms. "Tsk tsk tsk" said the boss, "I have warned you plenty of times James, that if I catch you stealing from me, that you would pay the price."
"I don't know what you are talking about. The money is all there." said James.
"Oh really?...Then explain why one of my people watched you for over an hour, stealing money from me." said the boss. "James, I have caught you, and now you must sleep with the fishies. Get him out of my sight."
"Nooooooo!!! Please! Give me another chance!" screamed James as he was dragged out of the warehouse and off to the docks... James was warned that he should have paid in full, but now he has been delivered to his grave, he paid in full, with his life.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:28:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-03 04:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What the fuck is a woodchuck?
--------------------------------------
Does Fey have a woodchuck in her vijayjay? (I ask because I imagine that is the reason she asked HER question AND the reason SHE WON'T FUCKING TELL US HER NAME!)
---------------------------------------------------------
Not a woodchuck, but I hear she has a Nerf football in there.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:06:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How do you get the smell of "chinese" food out of your car?
---------------------------------------------------------
With "Mexican" food.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you regret this post? I don't think it will ever die.
Who is afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Do you know the way to San Jose?
---------------------------------------------------------
I regret nossing. There're a lot of fun questions that people have been asking. I think it'll die sooner than later, to be perfectly honest.
Martha is, Orphelia. Martha is.
I've been away so long
I may go wrong and lose my way
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:50:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Back in the slavery days in africa, why would it be advantageous to get the most foreign slaves possible?
---------------------------------------------------------
Because they're exactly that: foreign. Could you imagine how much of a fuckup it would have been to try and enslave Natives? That's like trying to put me to work at my friend's house. I'll just leave and go home.
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:47:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
On a graph of 1-89.4 who is the caste's house? How many? Domestic?
---------------------------------------------------------
I'm afraid I really don't understand this one.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:42:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why does WaWa make such good prepackaged salads?
---------------------------------------------------------
That's like asking why Krispy Kreme makes such good donuts. Because they're just all kinds of amazing.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi there my lesbian lover.
Tell me, has there ever been a poster of the name "Laird AJ"?
---------------------------------------------------------
Hey there, babycakes.
I'm sure there has been, but apparently he probably fell off the face of the earth. Not worth thinking about.
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:20:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Assholy specified an african swallow...god.
Does my african history class start at 25 after or 35 after?
---------------------------------------------------------
Indeed he did. But he didn't specify if it was an unladen or laden swallow. I need to know these details.
I'm gonna go with 25 after. Just a guess, really.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-03 14:53:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Modified chances due to "wand of knowledge +2"
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-03 14:18:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And if he rolls a second 18-20 after that, it's a critical hit that deals double damage.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-10-03 14:16:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:54:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
have you ever played Dungeons and Dragons?
-------------------------------------------
If he rolls an 18 or better on a 20d, the answer is yes.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:54:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
have you ever played Dungeons and Dragons?
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:43:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where do babies come from?
Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:39:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
But whom killed him and why?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:29:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no biggie but thanks for the sentiments.
I think we'll end up staying in Jersey for a while longer.
I'd like to do a rental cabin thing out in WV and if that took off then move out there eventually.
right now we just both make too much money to drop it all and run.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:28:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-03 04:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What the fuck is a woodchuck?
--------------------------------------
Does Fey have a woodchuck in her vijayjay? (I ask because I imagine that is the reason she asked HER question AND the reason SHE WON'T FUCKING TELL US HER NAME!)
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:18:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aw, sorry to hear, man. Plenty of time though, I don't think a lot of people find their 'home home' when their kids are so young. I hope it works out like you want.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:06:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How do you get the smell of "chinese" food out of your car?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:02:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I never really wanted to get into it but since you asked....
I'm in Jersey. Never left actually. The plans with my Uncle, the land, all of it came crashing dow and I sold my part of the land to him and got out of it.
Never left jersey, i'm at my second job since the last time i posted as bamf and we're currently looking at some new land peices in WV.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:54:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:42:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why does WaWa make such good prepackaged salads?
===
I'll field this one:
BECAUSE WAWA IS A MECCA OF FUCKING AWESOME. Also, because most are PACKED with salt.
Hey wait..how do you have Wawas near you? Are you back in NJ? Or do you just miss them that much?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you regret this post? I don't think it will ever die.
Who is afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Do you know the way to San Jose?
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:50:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Back in the slavery days in africa, why would it be advantageous to get the most foreign slaves possible?
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:47:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
On a graph of 1-89.4 who is the caste's house? How many? Domestic?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:42:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why does WaWa make such good prepackaged salads?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi there my lesbian lover.
Tell me, has there ever been a poster of the name "Laird AJ"?
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:20:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Assholy specified an african swallow...god.
Does my african history class start at 25 after or 35 after?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:47:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:40:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who invented liquid soap and why?
--------------------------------------------
William Shepphard first patented liquid soap on August 22, 1865. No reason is listed why, other than the fact that it's a kickass idea. In 1980, the Minnetonka Corporation introduced the first modern liquid soap called SOFT SOAP brand liquid soap. Minnetonka cornered the liquid soap market by buying up the entire supply of the plastic pumps needed for the liquid soap dispensers. In 1987, the Colgate Company acquired the liquid soap business from Minnetonka.
Yeah, with enough soap, one can blow up just about anything.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:40:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who invented liquid soap and why?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:24:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:14:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can Virtue be Taught?
------------------------
All rational desires are focused on what is good; therefore if one knows what is good, he or she will not act contrary. If one has non-rational desires, but knowledge is sufficient to overcome them, so if one is knowledgeable of goodness, he will not act irrationally.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:14:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can Virtue be Taught?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 10:59:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-03 04:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What the fuck is a woodchuck?
---------------------------------
The groundhog (Marmota monax), also known as the woodchuck, land beaver, or whistlepig, is a rodent of the family Sciuridae, belonging to the group of large ground squirrels known as marmots. Most marmots, such as yellow-bellied and hoary marmots, live in rocky and mountainous areas, but the woodchuck is a lowland creature. It is widely distributed in North America and common in the northeastern and central United States. In the west it is found only in Alaska, Alberta, British Columbia, and northern Washington.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-03 02:31:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How many flew over the cuckoo's nest?
What is the airspeed of an African swallow?
What is your favorite color?
Where did you get that lovely bowtie?
In which historic massacre would you most like to have died in? Wartime, gangwar, or otherwise?
Would you rather make $250K/year while everybody who lived around you made $100K, or would you rather make $100K in a neighborhood where everybody around you makes $90K? And why?
How long did it take for your beard to stop growing in patches? Because mine just stopped and I feel like that's pretty late.
What do you think of this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFVoLz88hiU&eurl=http://www.ineptuser.com/2007/07/02/toilet-training/
---------------------------------
1. One
2. Somebody already asked this, and you guys need to clarify if this is an African or European swallow.
3. Red..... no, wait! BLUE!! BLUUUUUUUE!!! AUUUUUUUGH!!!!!
4. This men's shop called "The Toolbox". Nice guys.
5. Probably the Destruction of Thebes. At least we tried.
6. $250K. I don't give a shit how much everybody else makes, I do enjoy my Beluga Caviar.
7. By the time I was a sophomore in high school, I was shaving regularly. I was VERY early when it came to shaving, so don't worry too much about it. There's only a problem if you start to get hair on your forehead.
8. I wish my parents would throw me a party every time I took a piss, or dropped a load..... this video saddens me.
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-10-03 07:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK YOU MAN! I want my damn icecream and I'm gonna get some... FUCK YOUR CANDY WAX MAN!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-03 04:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Its when you get an erectionlarry
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-03 04:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What the fuck is a woodchuck?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-03 02:31:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How many flew over the cuckoo's nest?
What is the airspeed of an African swallow?
What is your favorite color?
Where did you get that lovely bowtie?
In which historic massacre would you most like to have died in? Wartime, gangwar, or otherwise?
Would you rather make $250K/year while everybody who lived around you made $100K, or would you rather make $100K in a neighborhood where everybody around you makes $90K? And why?
How long did it take for your beard to stop growing in patches? Because mine just stopped and I feel like that's pretty late.
What do you think of this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFVoLz88hiU&eurl=http://www.ineptuser.com/2007/07/02/toilet-training/
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 01:21:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Though the actual answer is that this woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 01:15:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-10-03 01:11:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how much wood would a woodchuck chew if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
haha now you hafta type out the entire answer
----------------------
No I don't. This woodchuck is clearly chewing the wood, as opposed to the usual chucking. This woodchuck won't be able to chew much wood without being declared a heathen by his other woodchuck brethren.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-10-03 01:11:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how much wood would a woodchuck chew if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
haha now you hafta type out the entire answer
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 01:07:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:59:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i just imagine shooting in the face would be so much better...down the throat obviously is enjoyable...my bitch is calling me right now...convenient, I get to go to sleep and so do you.
Will i be able to shoot in her face tonight?
---------------------------------
Listen, man..... shooting her in the face is NOT the answer, no matter how desperate you may be. Maybe the kneecaps or something, but don't shoot her in the face. First off, there's a ton of blood and shit, and you have the whole "I probably won't ever suck your dick again" thing going on after that, because she's..... you know.......... dead.
Seriously, just put the gun away and jack off on her tits. You'll feel better, I promise.
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 01:06:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'll just find out for myself.
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:59:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
p.s. i'm not going to her house till you answer.
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:59:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i just imagine shooting in the face would be so much better...down the throat obviously is enjoyable...my bitch is calling me right now...convenient, I get to go to sleep and so do you.
Will i be able to shoot in her face tonight?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:50:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:40:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i didn't ask you to ask me a question.
yes.
what is your age? ever jerked off a pig? Ever ejaculated in a girls face? how awesome was it?
------------------------
23.
Alas, no.
Not directly on her face, no. But I did cum down her throat, and it was a fucking BLASTY BLAST!!!
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:40:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i didn't ask you to ask me a question.
yes.
what is your age? ever jerked off a pig? Ever ejaculated in a girls face? how awesome was it?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:37:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:32:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's african history before the 1900s and i've been to every one...do you know any places that vend tofu in mass amounts in the oakland area?
---------------------------------
Skip it. We all know Africa didn't exist before 1900. As for mass quantities of tofu in Oakland, alas, I do not know of any such vendor. This is Oakland California, right?
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:32:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's african history before the 1900s and i've been to every one...do you know any places that vend tofu in mass amounts in the oakland area?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:28:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:25:09 EDT (#)