Attn Ubersite: I Want You To Hit Me As Hard As You Can (4777 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.93 on 354 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Matt Maiorano (View user info) at 2007-10-01 22:04:14 EDT
Here's the gist:
Ask me any question(s), and I will give you an honest answer. You can ask me anything, and I will answer EACH AND EVERY QUESTION for as long as this post exists.
Seriously, you can ask me anything. I know you guys can cook up some good ones. I'm looking at you, Shlongy.
Hit me, bitches.
User Reviews
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2008-10-23 01:46:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-10-22 13:19:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Matt:
What can you do about getting sage104 kicked off Ubersite for stealing the idea that I'm pretty sure you stole from someone else, but she's doing a shitty job at?
Signed;
Bored in Shlongytown
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I can write a strongly worded letter to Bart, where he'll promptly laugh at my sorry ass for being such a raging vagina. Secondly, I don't think anybody on this website did this before me. Correct me if I'm wrong.
But in either case, we all know that you started everything that was good back in '53 over a bucket of clams with Winston Churchill.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-10-22 17:36:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice. I just got here though so it's not my responsibility to look into every post ever posted on ubersite and not copy them. I'm sure you weren't the first and I'm certainly not the last...but mine was definitely the best.
I win.
Points for you anyway, though.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-10-22 13:19:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Matt:
What can you do about getting sage104 kicked off Ubersite for stealing the idea that I'm pretty sure you stole from someone else, but she's doing a shitty job at?
Signed;
Bored in Shlongytown
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-05-15 10:02:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2008-05-09 19:01:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-05-09 09:05:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you ever get that threesome with your pool-shark Girlfriend?
I didn't read the reviews so if someone already asked...fuck 'em
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Alas, no. The idea had come up several times, but in the end the teasing was too much for me to handle, so I ended up killing her with a claw hammer to the eye socket.
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Equally as gratifying. Just in a different way.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2008-05-09 19:01:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-05-09 09:05:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you ever get that threesome with your pool-shark Girlfriend?
I didn't read the reviews so if someone already asked...fuck 'em
---------------------------------
Alas, no. The idea had come up several times, but in the end the teasing was too much for me to handle, so I ended up killing her with a claw hammer to the eye socket.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2008-05-09 09:05:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you ever get that threesome with your pool-shark Girlfriend?
I didn't read the reviews so if someone already asked...fuck 'em.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-29 21:01:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, at least this time he made it past the first round.
Silva's a bad, bad man. I don't who could stand a real chance against him.
It's the accuracy of his striking. The man can hit you multiple times AS you're falling down. A good example was his fight with Chris Leben. That one ended in the first round, but Silva did land three or four solid shots as Chris was falling down. Pretty brutal.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-29 03:02:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-28 14:52:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Franklin vs. Silva II
In case you missed it: http://tinyurl.com/2pgz66
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Yeah, I saw it. Franklin had his face fucking rocked off.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-28 14:52:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Franklin vs. Silva II
In case you missed it: http://tinyurl.com/2pgz66
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-20 22:08:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-20 10:10:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The one you omitted previously:
Some of the more pessimistic economists believe that 20-something Americans today may be the first generation to be financially worse off than their parents (as a group). Have you noticed this personally? How do your financial well-being compare to the well-being of your parents when they were your age?
And now, I shall close with the questionnaire made famous by the great Bernard Pivot.
What is your favorite word?
What is your least favorite word?
What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]?
What turns you off?
What sound or noise do you love?
What sound or noise do you hate?
What is your favorite curse word?
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
What profession would you not like to do?
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
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1. I'm pretty sure I'm about the same, or better off. My dad is the kind of guy who keeps telling me how shitty he had it when he was on his own, but I'm doing ok for myself.
2. Gravyboat.
3. Yoghurt
4. Nothing. Generally, my mental erections are spontaneous.
5. Poor choice of words.
6. A woman's ass slapping against me.
7. Cicadas.
8. Fuckface.
9. Music Producer.
10. Pig farmer.
11. "Right this way, sir."
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-20 10:10:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The one you omitted previously:
Some of the more pessimistic economists believe that 20-something Americans today may be the first generation to be financially worse off than their parents (as a group). Have you noticed this personally? How do your financial well-being compare to the well-being of your parents when they were your age?
And now, I shall close with the questionnaire made famous by the great Bernard Pivot.
What is your favorite word?
What is your least favorite word?
What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]?
What turns you off?
What sound or noise do you love?
What sound or noise do you hate?
What is your favorite curse word?
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
What profession would you not like to do?
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-15 14:03:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-14 11:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Someone born eighty years ago has witnessed incredible leaps in technology. What is commonplace today was purely the realm of science fiction back then. Since we can probably expect this rapid growth of technology to continue indefinately, what "science fiction" technology would you most like to see become commonplace in your lifetime (ie flying cars, light saber, etc.)?
Some of the more pessimistic economists believe that 20-something Americans today may be the first generation to be financially worse off than their parents (as a group). Have you noticed this personally? How do your financial well-being compare to the well-being of your parents when they were your age?
Are you currently taking any prescription medication?
Who is your favorite U.S. president?
If you could go back in time and crush the still-soft skull of newborn baby Hitler, would you do it?
Is answering "no" to the above question equivalent to asserting that the world today is a better place because Hitler existed?
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1. Organic computers and flying cars are the only things I can conceive of right now. Light sabers will NEVER be an invention because of several reasons: The blade itself would carry no weight, thus the center of gravity of the saber would be in the hilt, making it just as likely for you to cut one of your own limbs off as somebody else's. The other reason is that focused light cannot stop at any given point without being contained. The blade would be FAR too long to be considered useful.
2. No. I never liked medication, unless it's for pain after surgery. In that case, then I love Percocet (or however you spell it).
3. I don't care what anybody says, I actually really liked Clinton. As far as my FAVORITE goes, though, I'd have to go with Lincoln. He's one of the reasons why I wanted to learn how to articulate myself goodly.
4. No, but I would probably shoot him after he finished his first painting.
5. No. A lot of people find the reasoning behind punishing a man for sins he hasn't yet committed flawed. While the events of the Holocaust were tragic and horrifying, I feel that events like this in history also serve some sort of purpose, and people in general are able to look at these historical events and learn something from them.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-14 11:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Franklin vs. Silva- UFC 64 http://tinyurl.com/2wvq4z
In my opinion, in spite of Franklin's record, Silva's victory didn't look like a fluke. However, I've heard that Franklin has changed a lot of his training routine and altered his overall fight plan quite a bit. If that's true, then this really might be anyone's fight. If not, I'd expect Silva to win again.
Course, it'd be kind of hard for any change in Franklin's strategy not to be an improvement. Watch the video. It seems his orginal strategy was to use his head and torso to block the knees of Silva. Probably not the best idea.
~~~~~~~~~
Someone born eighty years ago has witnessed incredible leaps in technology. What is commonplace today was purely the realm of science fiction back then. Since we can probably expect this rapid growth of technology to continue indefinately, what "science fiction" technology would you most like to see become commonplace in your lifetime (ie flying cars, light saber, etc.)?
Some of the more pessimistic economists believe that 20-something Americans today may be the first generation to be financially worse off than their parents (as a group). Have you noticed this personally? How do your financial well-being compare to the well-being of your parents when they were your age?
Are you currently taking any prescription medication?
Who is your favorite U.S. president?
If you could go back in time and crush the still-soft skull of newborn baby Hitler, would you do it?
Is answering "no" to the above question equivalent to asserting that the world today is a better place because Hitler existed?
Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2007-10-12 12:27:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, unfortunately you were off on the Fedor question. That really screwed things up. Now Randy has resigned from UFC and we'll have to hope those two will meet up in M-1.
RE Silva-Franklin
"9. It's hard to say. He may have lost against Silva a year ago, but his records suggest that it could have been a fluke. I haven't watched either fight, but judging by records alone I'm gonna have to go with Rich Franklin on this one."
Holy shit, go watch their fight, it was a total fucking dismantling. This one will be closer but I still thing Silva will win. (disclaimer: my fight predictions are wrong about 85% of the time)
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-11 23:52:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-11 21:38:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's your resting heart rate? (Looking for a number, not a definition)
What's your favorite book?
Do you feel that you particularly, or people in general, have a moral obligation to donate (time, money, goods, etc) to charity?
Karma. The universe "balancing the scales" or wishful thinking of an oppressed underclass?
What's your fondest memory from high school?
Given the opportunity, which uberuser (if any) would you most like to meet?
If you could be granted the abilities of any master tradesman, whose abilites would you want most (ie welder, carpenter, cement mason, etc.)?
What's the fastest time you've ever run a mile?
Who's your money on, Anderson Silva or Rich Franklin?
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1. About 82 bpm. I just changed a light bulb that was inside one of those impossibly shitty light fixtures.
2. "Sphere" by Michael Crichton.
3. No, but it doesn't stop me from donating once in a while anyway.
4. Karma does not exist, and the people who believe in it are not an "oppressed underclass", because the surprising majority foolishly believe in karma in one way or another. One of the most profound questions in human history has been "why do bad things happen to good people?" According to Karma, bad things shouldn't/won't happen to good people. Conversely, the question "why do good things happen to bad people?" is also directly opposed to the idea of karma. As for the first question, Christian theologists acknowledge that even Jesus couldn't answer it before he died ("My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?") Things happen either out of pure coincidence or because other people make choices without realizing these choices affect others.
5. I was wrestling some guy and he made a grab for my leg so I pushed him away by his head. He didn't like it so he started slapping me directly in the face, so the ref awarded me a warning point. The kid gave me a smug little smirk, so I proceeded to take him apart slowly. I grabbed one of his arms with one arm and the back of his neck with the other and muscled him all over the mat, throwing him everywhere and taking him down with brute strength (back then, I was actually pretty strong). After I would take him down, I would let him back up again, and kept up with the embarrassment for all three rounds. The best part was that his girlfriend was taking score for the match and I got her number afterwards.
6. There are SO many I've met, and SO many I have yet to meet. I'm gonna have to go with Crystle for several reasons: Firstly, she's a fucking cool cat. Secondly, she seems like the kind of chick who you can sit down with over a few beers and the conversation could NEVER get old. Plus, she's kinda cute.
7. Would a UFC fighter be considered a "master tradesman"? If so, I would pick that. If not, I'd probably pick master chef.
8. 6 minutes 17 seconds.
9. It's hard to say. He may have lost against Silva a year ago, but his records suggest that it could have been a fluke. I haven't watched either fight, but judging by records alone I'm gonna have to go with Rich Franklin on this one.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-11 21:38:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's your resting heart rate? (Looking for a number, not a definition)
What's your favorite book?
Do you feel that you particularly, or people in general, have a moral obligation to donate (time, money, goods, etc) to charity?
Karma. The universe "balancing the scales" or wishful thinking of an oppressed underclass?
What's your fondest memory from high school?
Given the opportunity, which uberuser (if any) would you most like to meet?
If you could be granted the abilities of any master tradesman, whose abilites would you want most (ie welder, carpenter, cement mason, etc.)?
What's the fastest time you've ever run a mile?
Who's your money on, Anderson Silva or Rich Franklin?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-10 22:01:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-10 21:06:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HONEST (although admittedly not serious) QUESTION: Do you want fries with that?
See, I'm an engineer, and part of the reason I expended so much effort in school and afterward to be able to call myself an engineer is so that I would never have to ask that question seriously.
-------------------------------------------------
There's this place over near where I work called "Five Guys Burgers and Fries", and holy assholes that place is the most incredible burger joint in existence. They only have four types of burgers: Hamburger, Cheeseburger, Bacon Burger, and Bacon Cheeseburger. All toppings are free (I always get mayo, pickles, mushrooms, and jalapenos), they always give you two patties, and you get a choice of either a regular or large fry with that. If you want a drink, it only comes in one size: large. The fries are cooked in 100% pure peanut oil (glaaaaaaahhhhhhhh) and dumped on top of your burger in a brown paper bag after the burger is wrapped in foil. Everything is so deliciously greasy that in a matter of seconds the paper bag is clear.
So yes. I will ALWAYS get fries with that, even if I'm not that hungry.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-10 21:06:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HONEST (although admittedly not serious) QUESTION: Do you want fries with that?
See, I'm an engineer, and part of the reason I expended so much effort in school and afterward to be able to call myself an engineer is so that I would never have to ask that question seriously.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-09 19:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:12:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HONEST QUESTION: What one adjective would you use to describe your general demeanor?
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Generally, I'm actually not entirely sure. I know that a lot of the time I'm very awkward. Then there are other times when I'm relaxed and generally fun to be around. I'm gonna have to go with 'awkward' on this one, though. Not a lot of people don't know what to make of me when they first talk to me.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:12:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HONEST QUESTION: What one adjective would you use to describe your general demeanor?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-08 23:08:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-08 21:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you were drafted tomorrow, would you obey the draft order or flee to Canada, knowing that, barring a Ford-style mass pardon, you may never be legally allowed back in the U.S.?
Do you think women should have to register for the draft when they turn 18 as men do?
Wouldn't that be a policy more consistent with the whole "women and men are equal" idea?
Who would you rather fornicate with, Jenna Bush or Chelsea Clinton? (before you answer, google image search Chelsea, she's had work done)
If you had to choose, would you take your chances as a POW, or save the last bullet for yourself?
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1. I would obey the draft. Firstly, I wasn't allowed to join the military because my eyesight is worse than a -8.00 (that's REALLY FUCKING BAD, if you don't know what that means). Secondly, depending on what I was being drafted for, I could always eat a few sticks of chalk to raise my blood pressure significantly enough where they would reject me. If I'm behind the front line, however, then I probably wouldn't mind too much.
2. Actually, I don't really even believe that women make good soldiers. It's kinda like wrestling: sure, they can fight, and every now and then you have a chick who can really kick ass, but women just aren't physically capable of fighting as men are. Also, I wouldn't want a child's mother to be sent off during a war. No child should ever be separated from their mother like that.
3. Not really. It's one thing to pay a woman less for doing the same job as a man, but it's quite another to make EVERYONE have to sign up for a draft. I think that a draft infringes on our rights as people overall, so to say that women have the same LACK of rights as men is ludicrous. Also, we don't have to sign up for a draft.
4. I'd rather FUCK Chelsea Clinton. I bet she could suck a mean cock. Also, I would rather not sleep with a chick who reminds me of George Bush.
5. I don't believe in suicide as an option. I'd take my chances as a POW.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-08 21:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you were drafted tomorrow, would you obey the draft order or flee to Canada, knowing that, barring a Ford-style mass pardon, you may never be legally allowed back in the U.S.?
Do you think women should have to register for the draft when they turn 18 as men do?
Wouldn't that be a policy more consistent with the whole "women and men are equal" idea?
Who would you rather fornicate with, Jenna Bush or Chelsea Clinton? (before you answer, google image search Chelsea, she's had work done)
If you had to choose, would you take your chances as a POW, or save the last bullet for yourself?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-08 21:20:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-08 21:13:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah. Guess I was confused on what you meant by "honest answer". Mea culpa.
---------------------------
I actually considered giving honest answers for ALL the questions, but then I realized that this is Ubersite. I'll be lucky if I get a handful of honest questions. So what I decided was that for every serious question that was posed, I gave it a lot of thought and gave a serious answer. Everything else I would try my best to give at least an interesting response.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-08 21:13:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah. Guess I was confused on what you meant by "honest answer". Mea culpa.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-08 21:07:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-08 20:16:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you think the effort you're putting into this post is worth the imagined reward?
--------------------------------
Not a whole lot of effort was put in, really. I answered questions whenever I had the time (ie: I was bored). And the reward that I got WASN'T imagined. I seriously did receive oral sex from 3 18 year-old swimsuit models while Bob Barker made me sandwiches.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-08 16:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
who is your daddy and what does he do?
who is the whoriest girl you know and what makes this girl so whorey?
Do you think women are attracted to me?
Have you ever had your asshole licked out by a fat man in an overcoat?
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1. HE'S A COP, YOU IDIOT!!!
2. The whoriest girl I know is this whore named Betty. What makes this girl so whorey is the fact that she exchanges sex for money, and asks me all the time: "YO, YOU GOT ANY ROCK!?!?"
3. That depends. Are you made out of chocolate?
4. There was a distinct lack of overcoat.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-08 20:16:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you think the effort you're putting into this post is worth the imagined reward?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-10-08 19:10:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-07 10:59:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-10-07 05:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHO ARE YOU?
------------------------------------------------
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next
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While an excellent response and certainly more than satisfactory - the answer I was going for was: Batman.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-08 16:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have you ever had your asshole licked out by a fat man in an overcoat?
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-08 16:21:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
who is the whoriest girl you know and what makes this girl so whorey?
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-08 16:19:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you think women are attracted to me?
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-08 16:16:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
who is your daddy and what does he do?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-08 01:38:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-10-08 01:21:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck norris?
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A wood chuck would chuck no chuck norris, even if a wood chuck could chuck norris
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-10-08 01:21:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck norris?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-07 19:17:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-07 18:54:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you could either have the ability to fly or become invisible at will, which would you choose?
Why are the Chinese holding the value of their currency artifically low?
How old were you and what was the first image of sex/sexuality you remember veiwing (ie Sear's catelog underwear section, Dad's Playboy, etc.)?
By the time your kid reaches college-age, how much will a 4-year degree cost (tuition, fees, and books)?
If you could either die tomorrow a national hero or live the next fifty years as a national coward, which would you choose?
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1. This is a hard one. I would probably pick flying over invisibility, but there are a couple of issues. Being able to fly doesn't necessarily mean I'm able to fly FAST. How fast would I be able to go in this case? Would it be my top running speed? Because that's pretty slow if I'm trying to go cross-country. Would it be supersonic? Would I be able to fly as high as I want without freezing to death or passing out from the lack of oxygen? Would I have to flap my arms in order to stay aloft or would I be able to rise off the ground through sheer will? It really depends. If I'm a slow flyer, can't go very high, and have to flap my arms, then I certainly wouldn't have much of a power. I'd choose invisibility in that case. However, If I can at least move at supersonic speeds and not have to flap my arms like an epileptic retard, then I would choose flying.
2. Chinese exports are cheaper for U.S. consumers to buy. The problem is that since U.S. exports to China are more expensive, it fuels a worsening trade deficit and destabilizes the U.S. economy.
3. "The Chinese Connection" with Bruce Lee. My dad had it playing for me and my brothers once. There was a scene with a Japanese stripper that solidified my love for Asian women, even at the young age of 6 years old, I would still pop the tape in the VCR and watch that scene over and over again.
4. Average tuition alone will cost nearly $98,000. With books and fees, we're looking at probably over $110,000.
5. I'd rather die a notional hero than have everybody hate me or my family be embarrassed by me.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-07 18:54:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you could either have the ability to fly or become invisible at will, which would you choose?
Why are the Chinese holding the value of their currency artifically low?
How old were you and what was the first image of sex/sexuality you remember veiwing (ie Sear's catelog underwear section, Dad's Playboy, etc.)?
By the time your kid reaches college-age, how much will a 4-year degree cost (tuition, fees, and books)?
If you could either die tomorrow a national hero or live the next fifty years as a national coward, which would you choose?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-07 18:45:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-10-07 18:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
can't be arsed reading the replies.
have you ever picked your nose and ate it?
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Actually, no. Even at 3 years old I knew it was gross. Closest thing I've done was after a wrestling match in which I had a nosebleed, I sat down in the bleachers and realized my nose felt stuffy. I sucked it back as hard as I could, and my mouth immediately was filled to the brim with the blood clot inside my nose. I was so shocked by the sheer size of the clot that I ended up swallowing it.
You can imagine what transpired from there.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-10-07 18:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
can't be arsed reading the replies.
have you ever picked your nose and ate it?
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-10-07 17:29:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn! You're a smart mofo!
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-07 15:26:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-10-07 12:03:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you could bitch slap someone, and get away with it, who would you do?
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Dick Cheney all the way. Biggest cocksmoker ever.
Submitted by pshuu (user info) at 2007-10-07 12:00:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What decision in your life has been the absolute worst (i.e - something extremely bad happened that changed your life completely)?
What was your favorite movie of 2007?
What type monster do you think will be introduced in 01/18/08 (aka Cloverfield Project)? [Please elaborate farther beyond "big", "scary", "mean" and "aquatic". Think in terms of monster-types it might mimic (not Godzilla).]
What song did Alanis Morissette sing for the Chronicles of Narnia Soundtrack?
In Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, where was the desert diner located? (In real life, not in the movie's plot/storyline.)
What number answers this question: how many sexual partners have you had full intercourse with?
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1. This: http://www.ubersite.com/m/61868
2. Smokin' Aces. I was surprised at how much of a kickass movie it was considering most movies with an all-star cast blow.
3. The director was actually inspired to make the film when he went shopping for Godzilla toys, so don't try and tell me that it won't mimic Godzilla in one way or another. I also know that the monster was rumored to be some sort of parasite, as suggested by a working title called "The Parasite". My guess is that it will be just a standard CG dragon/dinosaur monster thing, because good ideas for monsters are scarce these days.
4. Wunderkind. Haven't listened to it yet, but I'd imagine it was pretty good considering I enjoyed the movie's soundtrack overall.
5. I'm gonna guess on this one: Arizona. Even Google wasn't able to give me the answer for that one.
6. 7. Wanna be number 8?
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-10-07 12:03:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you could bitch slap someone, and get away with it, who would you do?
Submitted by pshuu (user info) at 2007-10-07 12:00:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What decision in your life has been the absolute worst (i.e - something extremely bad happened that changed your life completely)?
What was your favorite movie of 2007?
What type monster do you think will be introduced in 01/18/08 (aka Cloverfield Project)? [Please elaborate farther beyond "big", "scary", "mean" and "aquatic". Think in terms of monster-types it might mimic (not Godzilla).]
What song did Alanis Morissette sing for the Chronicles of Narnia Soundtrack?
In Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, where was the desert diner located? (In real life, not in the movie's plot/storyline.)
What number answers this question: how many sexual partners have you had full intercourse with?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-07 11:38:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-10-07 11:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How old were you when you lost your virginity?
--------------------------
16, and it was in the back of this piece of shit Volkswagon with different colored hubcaps I used to have. This was also in the back of my old grade-school playground, so the act itself was especially filthy.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-07 11:36:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-10-07 11:21:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BTW ; Will timetravel be feasable, when on the event horizon of a black hole ?
Or in other news, can i travel back in time, when flying above warp 1 ?
Questions, questions...
-----------------------------
Unfortunately, no. The event horizon of a black hole is the point when all events cease to exist, and the escape velocity of the gravitational pull of the black hole itself is greater than the speed of light. What's strange about this is that if an outside observer witnesses you fall into the event horizon, it would appear that you simply freeze there and your image stays even though you've most likely been torn apart atom by atom.
Laws of relativity also prevent you from moving faster than the speed of light, so unfortunately, the idea itself isn't possible. That is, unless you can fold space-time itself like the movie Event Horizon, then maybe you could go around the laws of relativity, but it aint likely.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-10-07 11:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How old were you when you lost your virginity?
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-10-07 11:21:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BTW ; Will timetravel be feasable, when on the event horizon of a black hole ?
Or in other news, can i travel back in time, when flying above warp 1 ?
Questions, questions...
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-10-07 11:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-07 10:59:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-10-07 05:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHO ARE YOU?
------------------------------------------------
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next
It will be the next, i'm on my way to kill you. Altough, in that case we miss the tremendous fights in the Colosseum. Grr,that's a tough one.Glory to the Empire!
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-07 10:59:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-10-07 05:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHO ARE YOU?
------------------------------------------------
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-10-07 05:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHO ARE YOU?
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-10-07 05:24:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, i meant what are the minimum and maximum lengths that the buffer spring should be before the spring goes bad and needs to be replaced. But your answer was actually quite interesting.
The correct answer to my question was 11 3/4 inches minimum and 13 1/2 inches maximum. If the length of the spring does not fit within those dimensions, the spring must be replaced.
Good Job, though. You get a cookie.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-07 03:33:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-07 02:59:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am not sure of the specific classification of the monster living in my closet. What is his name and where did he (she? it?) come from?
------------------------------------------------------------
From what I understand, the Boogeyman was fired for voyeurism...... inside his emplyer's closet, ironically enough. This new guy that's hanging out in your closet, his name is Todd. He holds poker games in there every Friday and Saturday. The rest of the time he just kinda drinks beer with Pennywise. On the one hand, they really won't do much except keep you awake with conversations about which is better: Amateur Porn or Pornstar Porn.
The conversations get to be pretty funny, but that doesn't mean you can join in. They'll still sodomize you with bowling pins.
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-10-07 02:24:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is the minimum functional length (in inches) of the buffer spring on an M16A2 assault rifle? What is the maximum?
------------------------------------------------------------
Are you referring to the Elastic Potential Energy of the spring itself, how far it can stretch and its free length?
If so, the formula is: (1/2) * K * X^2
K is equal to the spring constant, and in this case the spring constant is equal to approximately 1.46 lbf/in.
Here's some other information about the buffer spring:
Maximum load possible, Fmax: 15.5 lbf
Maximum shear stress possible, tmax: 107 ksi
Maximum displacement possible, Ldef: 10.6 in
Length of wire required to make spring: 107 in
Solid height: 2.77 in
Distance between coils in free spring: 0.362 in
Rise angle of coils: 7.56 deg
Lowest spring resonant frequency, fres: 35.0 Hz
Shear modulus of material, G: 76.9 GPa
Mass of spring: 1.84 oz
Hope that answers your question.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-07 02:59:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-06 06:15:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why wont the voices in my head just leave me alone?
-----------------------------------
Because they want you to burn things. Have you burned anything yet?
No?
Better get started. They're only quiet when things are on fire.
----------
As a matter of fact...
did you know ping pong balls are flammable? Because I didnt until last night. I know that if you hold a light underneath a dented ball then the air inside will expand and push the dent back out, but I wasnt aware that the ball would ignite and burn my finger if I put it directly on the flame. All things considered, it was perfectly hilarious, and I enjoy learning new things.
A few minutes later, some kid walked into our room with a coffee mug full of everclear, and then he set the mug on fire. He meant to get the everclear but the entire mug blew up in his hand, creating another hilarious fire in our basement. We let this one go for a few minutes before pouring beer on it. Fun was had. The voices in my head were satisfied.
I am not sure of the specific classification of the monster living in my closet. What is his name and where did he (she? it?) come from?
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-10-07 02:24:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is the minimum functional length (in inches) of the buffer spring on an M16A2 assault rifle? What is the maximum?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-07 01:21:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fatterrific (user info) at 2007-10-06 23:55:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Matt: If your mother was dying of a debilitating, agonizingly painful, slow-progressing disease, and the ONLY way to cure her was for you to violently fuck her up the ass, would you do it?
---------------------------------------------------
That is a horrible question.
Of course I'd do it.
After I toss a load in her mouth.
Submitted by Fatterrific (user info) at 2007-10-06 23:55:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Matt: If your mother was dying of a debilitating, agonizingly painful, slow-progressing disease, and the ONLY way to cure her was for you to violently fuck her up the ass, would you do it?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-06 13:55:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-06 11:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wanna suck face?
-----------------------------------
Absolutely.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-06 11:55:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where have all the cowboys gone?
-----------------------------------
A nice little place called "Brokeback Mountain".
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-06 11:31:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I-IIIIIIIIIIIII wanna know...Have you ever seen the rain?
-----------------------------------
Someone told me long ago theres a calm before the storm,
I know; its been comin for some time
When its over, so they say, itll rain a sunny day,
I know; shinin down like water
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-06 10:42:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why do you build me up, buttercup, just to let me down?
-----------------------------------
I need you more than anyone, darlin'
You know that I have from the start
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-10-06 09:20:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have you ever been insecure about your performance in bed?
-----------------------------------
Very VERY rarely.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2007-10-06 09:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Peanut butter: Crunchy or smooth?
-----------------------------------
Smooth, all the way. Crunchy peanut butter looks like shit on a spoon.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-06 06:15:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why wont the voices in my head just leave me alone?
-----------------------------------
Because they want you to burn things. Have you burned anything yet?
No?
Better get started. They're only quiet when things are on fire.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-06 11:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wanna suck face?
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-06 11:55:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where have all the cowboys gone?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-06 11:31:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I-IIIIIIIIIIIII wanna know...Have you ever seen the rain?
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2007-10-06 10:42:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why do you build me up, buttercup, just to let me down?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-06 10:08:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAhahahahahahahaha Touche
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-10-06 09:39:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:D
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-10-06 09:39:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111836#2529563
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-10-06 09:38:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:(
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-06 09:22:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Erm, is there something you wanna talk about Red?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-10-06 09:20:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have you ever been insecure about your performance in bed?
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2007-10-06 09:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Peanut butter: Crunchy or smooth?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-06 06:15:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
why wont the voices in my head just leave me alone?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-05 17:55:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FatTony (user info) at 2007-10-05 15:38:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Have you ever masturbated to Shlongy?
-------------------------------
Shockingly, no. Although, I have touched myself thinking about giving you a good tittyfuck.
Submitted by FatTony (user info) at 2007-10-05 15:38:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Have you ever masturbated to Shlongy?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-05 13:32:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-05 10:50:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1) Two train stations are 500 miles apart, connected by straight tracks. If a Train Engine A leaves station A for station B traveling 50 miles per hour at noon, and Train Engine B leaves station B for station A traveling 100 miles per hour one and one-half hours later, where will the two meet?
2) Train Engine A weighs 75,000 pounds. Train Engine B weighs 50,000 pounds. The steel/steel sliding friction coefficient is 0.25. How far and in which direction from the point at which they meet in the previous problem will the Engines come to rest? Assume no energy is dissipated in crushing the Engines and splattering the Engineers, and that the trains remain on the tracks.
-----------------------------------
1) I'm confused by the wording of this question. Is Train B traveling 100 mph one and one-half hours later AFTER noon? Or after it leaves the station? When did train A leave its station? The time variables aren't clear enough for me to give you a solid answer.
2) Since I couldn't answer the first question due to how poorly worded it was, I'm just going to say that the answer is "brown".
Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2007-10-05 08:54:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Who will Fedor sign with?
-----------------------------------
Everybody knows it's gonna be the UFC. He'd be a fool not to, especially with his record.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-05 10:50:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1) Two train stations are 500 miles apart, connected by straight tracks. If a Train Engine A leaves station A for station B traveling 50 miles per hour at noon, and Train Engine B leaves station B for station A traveling 100 miles per hour one and one-half hours later, where will the two meet?
2) Train Engine A weighs 75,000 pounds. Train Engine B weighs 50,000 pounds. The steel/steel sliding friction coefficient is 0.25. How far and in which direction from the point at which they meet in the previous problem will the Engines come to rest? Assume no energy is dissipated in crushing the Engines and splattering the Engineers, and that the trains remain on the tracks.
Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2007-10-05 08:54:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Who will Fedor sign with?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-04 23:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-10-04 23:18:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you stronger than me?
(hint: the answer is a two-lettered word that begins with 'N')
-----------------------------------------------------
We are the knights that say...... NI!! NI!!!!
So yes. Since I am indeed a memeber of this order, I will fucking break you in half by farting in your direction.
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-10-04 23:18:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you stronger than me?
(hint: the answer is a two-lettered word that begins with 'N')
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-04 19:58:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by anass (user info) at 2007-10-04 17:35:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whats your social security number and where do you live?
---------------------------
I already explained to somebody else that your social security number is basically your identification code that's issued to you soon after birth. It helps keep track of important things, like bad credit. I'm surprised at how many of you don't know what a social security number is.
I also live in an apartment.
Submitted by anass (user info) at 2007-10-04 17:35:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whats your social security number and where do you live?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:53:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, that is cool. My son is nearly 10 months old it is amazing how fast the time goes by. I am amazed at how he has grown, how he says yes and no and stands unaided. But part of me is sad - my baby is not really a baby anymore.
Cherish your daughter, honestly in 7 years time (the age of my eldest) you will have forgotten so much.
Thanks for a very entertaining and interactive post.
Toodle-pip.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is the hierarchy here?
Pirates, Space Pirates, Sharks?
-----------------------------
Are you fucking serious?
1. Space Pirates - They're fucking pirates........ IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!
2. Pirates - They're fucking space pirates....... ON EAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTH!!!!!
3. Sharks - They're fucking eaten....... BY PIIIIIIIIRAAAAAAAAATES!!!!!!!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is the hierarchy here?
Pirates, Space Pirates, Sharks?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-04 14:38:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-04 14:31:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHOA! I didn't know you had a daughter!?!?!?
Seriously? How old is she?
------------------------------------------
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111601
Almost 10 months now. I've kept everything about my personal life off Uber as much as possible, but I figured I could let everybody know about at least this.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-04 14:31:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHOA! I didn't know you had a daughter!?!?!?
Seriously? How old is she?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-04 14:25:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-04 14:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good answer
-----------------
Why thank you. I'm glad I could help.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-04 14:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good answer
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-04 13:59:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-04 13:06:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Last one from me - what is your favourite book? Also stay away from that slut Candyfloss, she will only break your heart.
---------------------------------------------
"Sphere" by Michael Crichton. It's been a long time since I've picked up a real book. I just bought "The Alphabet of Manliness" and it's pretty decent.
How will she break my heart? After I eat her box, she won't give me a blowjob or something? Psshh.
Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2007-10-04 12:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Has there ever been, or will there ever be, a better post than:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/58601
---------------------------------------------
I found it funny how he kept linking to Goatse, and called it the Guild Of Activists Toward Social Equality, and had the picture at the end. Aside from that, it really didn't get a whole lot out of me. There was a titter or two, but I've seen better.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-04 11:52:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is your bank name, bank account number and bank sort code?
---------------------------------------------
My bank's name is what helps me distinguish it from other banks. It would be pretty silly if all banks names were "Bank". Now, the tricky thing about bank account numbers is that there's more than one type. A regular bank account number is just a imple series of numbers that serves almost as an identification code for your account. However, an IBAN is an international standard for identifying bank accounts across national borders. Unfortunately, however, the USA hasn't adopted this form of banking, mostly because American banking mostly takes place within America's own borders.
As for your last question about what a bank sort code is, it's simply a number which is assigned to a branch of a bank for internal purposes. Banks use sort codes as it is easier than writing the full address of the branch out and it tells customers which branch they are at.
Hope this helps you with your future banking.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-04 13:06:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Last one from me - what is your favourite book? Also stay away from that slut Candyfloss, she will only break your heart.
Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2007-10-04 12:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Has there ever been, or will there ever be, a better post than:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/58601
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-04 11:52:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is your bank name, bank account number and bank sort code?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-04 09:22:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by candyfloss01 (user info) at 2007-10-04 05:44:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lick me out?
----------------------------
Lick you out?
Does that mean eating you out?
Because usually if I'm eating someone out, simply "licking" isn't going to get the job done. I gotta dive into that shit and have myself a stinkfish buffet.
You must be easy to please.
Submitted by candyfloss01 (user info) at 2007-10-04 05:44:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lick me out?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 23:21:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-03 23:18:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Go to bed. You'll ruin your eyes staring at the screen for 21 hours a day.
...and "that's Amore"
-------------------------------
ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?!?
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-03 23:18:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Go to bed. You'll ruin your eyes staring at the screen for 21 hours a day.
...and "that's Amore"
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 23:11:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-03 23:04:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, what's that?
-----------------------------
That's a meteor shower.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-03 23:04:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, what's that?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 22:41:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-03 21:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why have you ignored my question? http://www.ubersite.com/m/112138#2542840
Oh well, I have more.
What's your greatest fear?
If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who'd it be?
If you could fight anyone, living or dead, who'd you fight? (assume the dead person would be brought back to life. I'd imagine meeting/fighting a corpse wouldn't be too awful interesting.)
Up to this point in your life, what do you view as your greatest accomplishment?
Would you murder someone you knew to be really horrible (ie child molester, etc.) if you knew you could do it and not get caught?
Why don't you do those eyeballed posts anymore?
Knowing that the gravitational attraction force is proportional to 1/(r^2) with r=distance between the centers of mass of two bodies, if you dug a hole straight through the earth and out the other side and jumped in it, could you oscillate falling through the hole idefinately?
Why do electrical fields induce magnetic fields, and vice versa?
-----------------------------------------------
I thought when you said "not my question" you didn't care for me to answer it. I didn't realize you meant "That was Chuck Palahniuk's question, even though you clearly know this because I put his name right by the quote". And to answer that question, I feel that God's worst enemies are doomed to nonexistence eventually, so I might as well enjoy it while I could. My will is too weak to actually believe I would choose nonexistence if I were ever confronted with a choice like that.
My greatest fear is never making a positive impact on anybody's lives.
Jon Stewart. I just want to sit down with the man over a few pitchers of beer, and just listen to what he has to say. Such an incredible mind.
Mussolini. He was a coward and a bully, and I just want to see if he'd be able to hold his own against a skinny little shit like me.
My daughter.
I probably wouldn't KILL him, but I would probably torture him for as long as possible.
I have lots of ideas, I just haven't gotten around to making them. Between school, work, raising a baby, and a slew of other things, it's a bit hard for me to write a comic.
No. Wind resistence gets in the way, so you will fall back and forth until you stop in the middle, where you will most likely be crushed by gravitational forces.
That's like asking why plants expel oxygen and thrive on carbon dioxide while living organisms expel carbon dioxide and thrive on oxygen. It's probably because you touch yourself in the shower.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-03 21:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why have you ignored my question? http://www.ubersite.com/m/112138#2542840
Oh well, I have more.
What's your greatest fear?
If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who'd it be?
If you could fight anyone, living or dead, who'd you fight? (assume the dead person would be brought back to life. I'd imagine meeting/fighting a corpse wouldn't be too awful interesting.)
Up to this point in your life, what do you view as your greatest accomplishment?
Would you murder someone you knew to be really horrible (ie child molester, etc.) if you knew you could do it and not get caught?
Why don't you do those eyeballed posts anymore?
Knowing that the gravitational attraction force is proportional to 1/(r^2) with r=distance between the centers of mass of two bodies, if you dug a hole straight through the earth and out the other side and jumped in it, could you oscillate falling through the hole idefinately?
Why do electrical fields induce magnetic fields, and vice versa?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 15:27:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:54:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
have you ever played Dungeons and Dragons?
---------------------------------------------------------
Surprisingly, no. I hear it's a lot of fun, though.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:43:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where do babies come from?
---------------------------------------------------------
Gangrape.
Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:39:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
But whom killed him and why?
---------------------------------------------------------
James Dupont, 34, has lived a life of crime and drug dealing, as well as being worked by the local mafia. Even though he was great at doing his job, he was failing to pay all money he made to the mafia, and he has been warned and almost caught many a times that if he was caught stealing from them, he would be sleeping with the fishies.
Today would be his last day being alive. As James worked a corner selling people the drugs they want, one of the people from the mafia spyed upon him and noticed that bits of money was being pocketed and the rest placed into an envelope. He was busted on the spot. The spy left to tell the boss what he seen and the boss didn't liked what he heard. He didn't like that he wasn't being paid in full. He didn't like people whom backstabbed him. After James worked the corner, he headed to the Riverside Warehouses to deliever the money he made, unknowning that the boss and few of is helpers awaited him.
As James approached the boss to deliver the cash, his helpers grab him by the arms. "Tsk tsk tsk" said the boss, "I have warned you plenty of times James, that if I catch you stealing from me, that you would pay the price."
"I don't know what you are talking about. The money is all there." said James.
"Oh really?...Then explain why one of my people watched you for over an hour, stealing money from me." said the boss. "James, I have caught you, and now you must sleep with the fishies. Get him out of my sight."
"Nooooooo!!! Please! Give me another chance!" screamed James as he was dragged out of the warehouse and off to the docks... James was warned that he should have paid in full, but now he has been delivered to his grave, he paid in full, with his life.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:28:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-03 04:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What the fuck is a woodchuck?
--------------------------------------
Does Fey have a woodchuck in her vijayjay? (I ask because I imagine that is the reason she asked HER question AND the reason SHE WON'T FUCKING TELL US HER NAME!)
---------------------------------------------------------
Not a woodchuck, but I hear she has a Nerf football in there.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:06:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How do you get the smell of "chinese" food out of your car?
---------------------------------------------------------
With "Mexican" food.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you regret this post? I don't think it will ever die.
Who is afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Do you know the way to San Jose?
---------------------------------------------------------
I regret nossing. There're a lot of fun questions that people have been asking. I think it'll die sooner than later, to be perfectly honest.
Martha is, Orphelia. Martha is.
I've been away so long
I may go wrong and lose my way
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:50:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Back in the slavery days in africa, why would it be advantageous to get the most foreign slaves possible?
---------------------------------------------------------
Because they're exactly that: foreign. Could you imagine how much of a fuckup it would have been to try and enslave Natives? That's like trying to put me to work at my friend's house. I'll just leave and go home.
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:47:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
On a graph of 1-89.4 who is the caste's house? How many? Domestic?
---------------------------------------------------------
I'm afraid I really don't understand this one.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:42:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why does WaWa make such good prepackaged salads?
---------------------------------------------------------
That's like asking why Krispy Kreme makes such good donuts. Because they're just all kinds of amazing.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi there my lesbian lover.
Tell me, has there ever been a poster of the name "Laird AJ"?
---------------------------------------------------------
Hey there, babycakes.
I'm sure there has been, but apparently he probably fell off the face of the earth. Not worth thinking about.
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:20:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Assholy specified an african swallow...god.
Does my african history class start at 25 after or 35 after?
---------------------------------------------------------
Indeed he did. But he didn't specify if it was an unladen or laden swallow. I need to know these details.
I'm gonna go with 25 after. Just a guess, really.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-03 14:53:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Modified chances due to "wand of knowledge +2"
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-03 14:18:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And if he rolls a second 18-20 after that, it's a critical hit that deals double damage.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-10-03 14:16:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:54:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
have you ever played Dungeons and Dragons?
-------------------------------------------
If he rolls an 18 or better on a 20d, the answer is yes.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:54:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
have you ever played Dungeons and Dragons?
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:43:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where do babies come from?
Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:39:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
But whom killed him and why?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:29:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no biggie but thanks for the sentiments.
I think we'll end up staying in Jersey for a while longer.
I'd like to do a rental cabin thing out in WV and if that took off then move out there eventually.
right now we just both make too much money to drop it all and run.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:28:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-03 04:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What the fuck is a woodchuck?
--------------------------------------
Does Fey have a woodchuck in her vijayjay? (I ask because I imagine that is the reason she asked HER question AND the reason SHE WON'T FUCKING TELL US HER NAME!)
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:18:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aw, sorry to hear, man. Plenty of time though, I don't think a lot of people find their 'home home' when their kids are so young. I hope it works out like you want.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:06:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How do you get the smell of "chinese" food out of your car?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:02:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I never really wanted to get into it but since you asked....
I'm in Jersey. Never left actually. The plans with my Uncle, the land, all of it came crashing dow and I sold my part of the land to him and got out of it.
Never left jersey, i'm at my second job since the last time i posted as bamf and we're currently looking at some new land peices in WV.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:54:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:42:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why does WaWa make such good prepackaged salads?
===
I'll field this one:
BECAUSE WAWA IS A MECCA OF FUCKING AWESOME. Also, because most are PACKED with salt.
Hey wait..how do you have Wawas near you? Are you back in NJ? Or do you just miss them that much?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you regret this post? I don't think it will ever die.
Who is afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Do you know the way to San Jose?
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:50:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Back in the slavery days in africa, why would it be advantageous to get the most foreign slaves possible?
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:47:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
On a graph of 1-89.4 who is the caste's house? How many? Domestic?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:42:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why does WaWa make such good prepackaged salads?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi there my lesbian lover.
Tell me, has there ever been a poster of the name "Laird AJ"?
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:20:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Assholy specified an african swallow...god.
Does my african history class start at 25 after or 35 after?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:47:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:40:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who invented liquid soap and why?
--------------------------------------------
William Shepphard first patented liquid soap on August 22, 1865. No reason is listed why, other than the fact that it's a kickass idea. In 1980, the Minnetonka Corporation introduced the first modern liquid soap called SOFT SOAP brand liquid soap. Minnetonka cornered the liquid soap market by buying up the entire supply of the plastic pumps needed for the liquid soap dispensers. In 1987, the Colgate Company acquired the liquid soap business from Minnetonka.
Yeah, with enough soap, one can blow up just about anything.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:40:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who invented liquid soap and why?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:24:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:14:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can Virtue be Taught?
------------------------
All rational desires are focused on what is good; therefore if one knows what is good, he or she will not act contrary. If one has non-rational desires, but knowledge is sufficient to overcome them, so if one is knowledgeable of goodness, he will not act irrationally.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:14:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can Virtue be Taught?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 10:59:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-03 04:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What the fuck is a woodchuck?
---------------------------------
The groundhog (Marmota monax), also known as the woodchuck, land beaver, or whistlepig, is a rodent of the family Sciuridae, belonging to the group of large ground squirrels known as marmots. Most marmots, such as yellow-bellied and hoary marmots, live in rocky and mountainous areas, but the woodchuck is a lowland creature. It is widely distributed in North America and common in the northeastern and central United States. In the west it is found only in Alaska, Alberta, British Columbia, and northern Washington.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-03 02:31:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How many flew over the cuckoo's nest?
What is the airspeed of an African swallow?
What is your favorite color?
Where did you get that lovely bowtie?
In which historic massacre would you most like to have died in? Wartime, gangwar, or otherwise?
Would you rather make $250K/year while everybody who lived around you made $100K, or would you rather make $100K in a neighborhood where everybody around you makes $90K? And why?
How long did it take for your beard to stop growing in patches? Because mine just stopped and I feel like that's pretty late.
What do you think of this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFVoLz88hiU&eurl=http://www.ineptuser.com/2007/07/02/toilet-training/
---------------------------------
1. One
2. Somebody already asked this, and you guys need to clarify if this is an African or European swallow.
3. Red..... no, wait! BLUE!! BLUUUUUUUE!!! AUUUUUUUGH!!!!!
4. This men's shop called "The Toolbox". Nice guys.
5. Probably the Destruction of Thebes. At least we tried.
6. $250K. I don't give a shit how much everybody else makes, I do enjoy my Beluga Caviar.
7. By the time I was a sophomore in high school, I was shaving regularly. I was VERY early when it came to shaving, so don't worry too much about it. There's only a problem if you start to get hair on your forehead.
8. I wish my parents would throw me a party every time I took a piss, or dropped a load..... this video saddens me.
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-10-03 07:55:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK YOU MAN! I want my damn icecream and I'm gonna get some... FUCK YOUR CANDY WAX MAN!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-03 04:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Its when you get an erectionlarry
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-03 04:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What the fuck is a woodchuck?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-03 02:31:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How many flew over the cuckoo's nest?
What is the airspeed of an African swallow?
What is your favorite color?
Where did you get that lovely bowtie?
In which historic massacre would you most like to have died in? Wartime, gangwar, or otherwise?
Would you rather make $250K/year while everybody who lived around you made $100K, or would you rather make $100K in a neighborhood where everybody around you makes $90K? And why?
How long did it take for your beard to stop growing in patches? Because mine just stopped and I feel like that's pretty late.
What do you think of this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFVoLz88hiU&eurl=http://www.ineptuser.com/2007/07/02/toilet-training/
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 01:21:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Though the actual answer is that this woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 01:15:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-10-03 01:11:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how much wood would a woodchuck chew if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
haha now you hafta type out the entire answer
----------------------
No I don't. This woodchuck is clearly chewing the wood, as opposed to the usual chucking. This woodchuck won't be able to chew much wood without being declared a heathen by his other woodchuck brethren.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-10-03 01:11:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how much wood would a woodchuck chew if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
haha now you hafta type out the entire answer
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 01:07:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:59:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i just imagine shooting in the face would be so much better...down the throat obviously is enjoyable...my bitch is calling me right now...convenient, I get to go to sleep and so do you.
Will i be able to shoot in her face tonight?
---------------------------------
Listen, man..... shooting her in the face is NOT the answer, no matter how desperate you may be. Maybe the kneecaps or something, but don't shoot her in the face. First off, there's a ton of blood and shit, and you have the whole "I probably won't ever suck your dick again" thing going on after that, because she's..... you know.......... dead.
Seriously, just put the gun away and jack off on her tits. You'll feel better, I promise.
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 01:06:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'll just find out for myself.
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:59:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
p.s. i'm not going to her house till you answer.
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:59:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i just imagine shooting in the face would be so much better...down the throat obviously is enjoyable...my bitch is calling me right now...convenient, I get to go to sleep and so do you.
Will i be able to shoot in her face tonight?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:50:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:40:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i didn't ask you to ask me a question.
yes.
what is your age? ever jerked off a pig? Ever ejaculated in a girls face? how awesome was it?
------------------------
23.
Alas, no.
Not directly on her face, no. But I did cum down her throat, and it was a fucking BLASTY BLAST!!!
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:40:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i didn't ask you to ask me a question.
yes.
what is your age? ever jerked off a pig? Ever ejaculated in a girls face? how awesome was it?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:37:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:32:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's african history before the 1900s and i've been to every one...do you know any places that vend tofu in mass amounts in the oakland area?
---------------------------------
Skip it. We all know Africa didn't exist before 1900. As for mass quantities of tofu in Oakland, alas, I do not know of any such vendor. This is Oakland California, right?
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:32:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's african history before the 1900s and i've been to every one...do you know any places that vend tofu in mass amounts in the oakland area?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:28:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:25:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
when are you going to get tired? I'm just curious, i have class tomorrow at 1 30...should i go to it?
------------------------
Usually around 1:30 or 2:00 AM. You probably SHOULD go to class, especially because it's about that time for midterms (assuming you're in college). However, also keep in mind that there's nothing wrong with taking a day off here and there and putzing around your room naked, thigh-deep in tofu.
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:25:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
when are you going to get tired? I'm just curious, i have class tomorrow at 1 30...should i go to it?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:23:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:17:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How late are you going to stay up tonight to answer these?
---------------------------
Until I get tired, really.
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:17:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How late are you going to stay up tonight to answer these?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-02 23:29:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-02 23:11:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ever thought about your mother or grandmother or sister whilst jerking off? even as a mistake, it just popped into your head...did you continue?
-----------------------------
Not jerking off, no. But I have dreamt about it.
Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-10-02 23:11:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ever thought about your mother or grandmother or sister whilst jerking off? even as a mistake, it just popped into your head...did you continue?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-02 22:45:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-10-02 22:42:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Would 6 paper clips, a rubber band, a green dry erase marker, and a can of beer be an attractive enough offer to coax you into taking your own life?
---------------------------
No, but the promise of 70 dark-haired virgins meeting me in the afterlife if I take you with me is.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2007-10-02 22:20:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're like Confucius... or some other smart Asian person.
What is my purpose? In life, in my cyberlife, in the universe... etc?
---------------------------
In all honesty, I firmly believe that the purpose of my life is to give me life purpose. Mull that around a little in your noggin..... that idea has always helped me through many a hard time.
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-10-02 22:42:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Would 6 paper clips, a rubber band, a green dry erase marker, and a can of beer be an attractive enough offer to coax you into taking your own life?
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2007-10-02 22:20:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You're like Confucius... or some other smart Asian person.
What is my purpose? In life, in my cyberlife, in the universe... etc?
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-02 21:04:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you could be God's worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose? -Chuck Palahniuk
Not my question, but a good one nonetheless. The picture reminded me of it.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-02 20:59:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:45:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright then...before I stop wasting my life away in front of a computer screen (for the night):
Can you explain YOUR belief in what happens when we die?
or if that's too complicated or personal:
Which is better:
Chicken nuggets w/honey mustard OR teriyaki chicken wings?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't believe in hell. The only hell I actually believe in is a state of nonexistence reserved only for those who truly reject God. I feel that when we die, we must be held accountable for our actions in life and we must do penance in one way or another (purgatory) where we are purged of our sins. After that I feel that we will have to make a decision to either accept or reject God. I feel that the popular idea of hell goes against the very idea of a forgiving and loving God.
And I much prefer Honey Mustard, but I still love teriyaki.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:25:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have you ever had phone sex, and if so, did you enjoy it?
Please answer the same for the following types of sex: butt, gay, and gaybutt.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yes. It was ok, nothing spectacular. I didn't cum, if that's what you're thinking.
As for the others, no, yes (receiving oral), and no.
I probably won't go for gay oral again. Their stubble tickles my balls.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-10-02 20:28:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Of course, how silly of me. Holla.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-02 20:18:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well I guess that wouldn't count. But the gay phone sex was an offer, duh.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-10-02 20:10:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nope, no gay phone sex. Yes phone sex, yes I enjoyed it, yes butt sex (once), yes gay sex, but no on the gay butt sex.
Unless you count the time I got anally railed by the cast of Project Runway Season 2.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-02 20:04:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WAIT- Jeanneee- gay phone sex? mmm.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-02 20:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jeanneee, we have so much in common..it's one reason I loves ya.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:57:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:25:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have you ever had phone sex, and if so, did you enjoy it?
Please answer the same for the following types of sex: butt, gay, and gaybutt.
-------------
Yes, yes, yes, yes, and uh... no.
Oh my bad, I guess you wanted Matt to answer those. Apologies all around.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:45:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright then...before I stop wasting my life away in front of a computer screen (for the night):
Can you explain YOUR belief in what happens when we die?
or if that's too complicated or personal:
Which is better:
Chicken nuggets w/honey mustard OR teriyaki chicken wings?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:25:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have you ever had phone sex, and if so, did you enjoy it?
Please answer the same for the following types of sex: butt, gay, and gaybutt.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:07:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:51:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:46:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ooooh. So close. We were looking for "There are no bones in ice cream."
-----------
Most ice cream has gelatin as an ingredient, which is made from the collagin in cow and pig bones. Therefore, and you must admit that the logic is undeniable, because there ARE in fact bones in ice cream, there is no difference between a duck.
---------
.....your kung fu is good.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-02 18:13:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-02 18:06:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Which Uber broad has enjoyed Shlongy's semen the most?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What kind of question is that? ALL of them, of course. Except for the ugly ones.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:53:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you are an undercover lesbian will you be my bitch? I give good muff for a girl.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WILL I!!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who is Navin Johnson?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He is the adopted white son of black sharecroppers, who grows to adulthood naïvely unaware of his obvious adoption.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-02 18:06:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Which Uber broad has enjoyed Shlongy's semen the most?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:53:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you are an undercover lesbian will you be my bitch? I give good muff for a girl.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:51:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:46:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ooooh. So close. We were looking for "There are no bones in ice cream."
-----------
Most ice cream has gelatin as an ingredient, which is made from the collagin in cow and pig bones. Therefore, and you must admit that the logic is undeniable, because there ARE in fact bones in ice cream, there is no difference between a duck.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:46:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ooooh. So close. We were looking for "There are no bones in ice cream."
*bwa bwa bwa bwaaaaaaa*
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who is Navin Johnson?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:44:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:34:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What's the difference between a duck?
--------------
One leg is both the same.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:39:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ooh! Susie, I think I know that one!
Its two back legs are the both the same and its head bangs together when it walks!
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:34:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What's the difference between a duck?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:34:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:24:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:19:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Could there possibly be a more blatant attempt at hits and heat than this post?
------------------------
Actually, yes.
------
Which one?
----
I don't know. Probably a post titled "All ur heat r belong 2 us" would take the cake.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:32:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:01:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dear sir, for my next question, could you please define what exactly "emo" is.
I keep hearing alot about it, and I know that it's bad to be "emo", but I'm still unclear as to exactly what it is. I saw a this young guy the other day wearing what appeared to be women's pants, some crappy new band t-shirt and I'm pretty certain he had makeup on.
Was he emo?
Or just a transvestite/ghey?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Emo" is basically an offshoot of being the more popular (HA!!!) "goth". Emos are characterized by long hair covering only one eye, My Chemical Romance t-shirts, and an overall sullen demeanor. Often described as "goth-lite", there is no true definition for being Emo, just as there is no such thing as a true "goth". In the end, they should all be left alone to go about their business.... because they all want to kill themselves anyway.
Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2007-10-02 16:25:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what is your full name address and social security number?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My full name was the name that was given to me at birth.
My address is the exact location where I reside, and my social security number is basically an identification number that was also issued to me soon after birth. I thought you already knew what these things were?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-02 15:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Yo, Phil...what's a good shampoo to use...I was thinking about one of those ones that are pH balanced..."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I really don't even know what pH means.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-02 15:24:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How long will it take you to respond?
Where is Ian Beale?
I liked your answers by the way. You seem like a nice guy. Are you?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm at work at the moment, so I respond when I can. Sorry about the delays.
Last I saw he was confronted by Steven in that flat.
It's all a facade. I'm actually a very nice young lesbian.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 15:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You did get the bit where you either kill innocent people, or innocent people you love (your family) are killed anyway, right?
It's not supposed to be a fun question. But I'm going to go ahead and assume you're going for option 3 then.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah, I got it. Good call on your assumption.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-02 15:19:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is Feys real name?
-------------------------------
Rumpelstiltskin
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:24:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:19:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Could there possibly be a more blatant attempt at hits and heat than this post?
------------------------
Actually, yes.
------
Which one?
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:01:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dear sir, for my next question, could you please define what exactly "emo" is.
I keep hearing alot about it, and I know that it's bad to be "emo", but I'm still unclear as to exactly what it is. I saw a this young guy the other day wearing what appeared to be women's pants, some crappy new band t-shirt and I'm pretty certain he had makeup on.
Was he emo?
Or just a transvestite/ghey?
Submitted by iambetteratit (user info) at 2007-10-02 16:25:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what is your full name address and social security number?
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-10-02 15:39:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-02 15:19:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is Feys real name?
-----------------
Johansson probably
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-02 15:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Yo, Phil...what's a good shampoo to use...I was thinking about one of those ones that are pH balanced..."
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-02 15:24:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How long will it take you to respond?
Where is Ian Beale?
I liked your answers by the way. You seem like a nice guy. Are you?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 15:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You did get the bit where you either kill innocent people, or innocent people you love (your family) are killed anyway, right?
It's not supposed to be a fun question. But I'm going to go ahead and assume you're going for option 3 then.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-02 15:19:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What is Feys real name?
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-10-02 15:09:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
here have a +2 then
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-02 15:06:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-10-02 15:05:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
your hole or mine?
----------------------
Both.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-10-02 15:05:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
your hole or mine?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-02 15:05:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-02 14:49:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How far up my ass do I have to insert my index finger to "get to that itch"???
----------------------------------------
Shoulder-deep.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-02 14:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
alright, thanks for the answers.
next question:
ATTN GHEY MENZ?
----------------------------------------
LOL YES PLZ!!!!
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-10-02 14:37:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who is the asshole behind the Nigerian email scam?
----------------------------------------
Why, it's Mbutu Mambawe, of course. Everybody knows that.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 14:36:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:38:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Of the three following, what do you choose?
Becoming a suicide bomber to save your family from death.
Killing one person to save your own life.
Or to die before you choose either of the two above.
----------------------------------------
Are these people I'm supposed to kill innocent? Or are they the ones trying to hurt my family? Clarify your questions, Fey. Jesus Christ.
___________
The victims are innocent. I'm sorry, I thought it was implied. Or do you know many people who deserve to be hugged by a suicide bomber?
If you don't suicide bomb, your family dies (killed by the same people who want you to bomb for them).
The one person would also be innocent, at least to your knowledge, it's merely convenient for someone else that they die.
----------------------------------------
I can't kill innocent people. I wouldn't be able to live with it. What if I killed a few hundred puppies instead?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-02 14:49:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How far up my ass do I have to insert my index finger to "get to that itch"???
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-02 14:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
alright, thanks for the answers.
next question:
ATTN GHEY MENZ?
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-10-02 14:37:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who is the asshole behind the Nigerian email scam?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 14:36:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:38:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Of the three following, what do you choose?
Becoming a suicide bomber to save your family from death.
Killing one person to save your own life.
Or to die before you choose either of the two above.
----------------------------------------
Are these people I'm supposed to kill innocent? Or are they the ones trying to hurt my family? Clarify your questions, Fey. Jesus Christ.
___________
The victims are innocent. I'm sorry, I thought it was implied. Or do you know many people who deserve to be hugged by a suicide bomber?
If you don't suicide bomb, your family dies (killed by the same people who want you to bomb for them).
The one person would also be innocent, at least to your knowledge, it's merely convenient for someone else that they die.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-02 14:25:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:57:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ceiling mounted?
----------------------------------
I suppose that could work.
Submitted by Surgeon (user info) at 2007-10-02 14:01:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
psychosurgery..
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:57:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ceiling mounted?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:54:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-02 12:12:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why on top? Why not under?
-----------------------------------------------
Not enough room, really.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:36:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where is COTN?
-----------------------------------------------
Not dead yet. I'm trying to figure out how to do this next chapter.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why am I such an asshole?
-----------------------------------------------
To make up for something else?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:50:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why on top? Why not under?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-02 12:12:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DO YOU LOVE ME?!?!?!
-----------------------------------------------
It depends. Wanna have sex on top of a giant mirror?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:36:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where is COTN?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why am I such an asshole?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:03:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*WHEW* That was a fucking ordeal. I just answered all of your questions. If I missed one, let me know.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:01:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-02 12:28:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
also - why don't I have a boyfriend?
-----------------------------------------------
Because you're holding out for me. You're such a dear.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-02 12:24:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DO YOU LOVE ME?
-----------------------------------------------
It depends. Wanna have sex on top of a giant mirror?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-02 12:12:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DO YOU LOVE ME?!?!?!
-----------------------------------------------
It depends. Wanna have sex on top of a giant mirror?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-02 12:59:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2007-10-02 10:52:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what was the name of your first boyfriend?
----------------------------------------
Thumper.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-10-02 10:46:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
have u ever fingered your own ass...honestly?
----------------------------------------
No, but I did try and use a toothbrush once. It didn't work out.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-10-02 10:09:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What did the turtle say to the eagle?
----------------------------------------
Slow and steady, wins the- OH MY GOD, YOU JUST ATE MY FUCKING EYE!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU PREDATORY PIECE OF SHIT!?!? GODDAMMIT, THAT HURTS SO MUCH!!! AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGH YOU'RE PECKING MY BRAIN OUT!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME, PLEASE!!!! Oh, oh thank God, Rabbit, get this fucker off me! Hey, HEY!!! STOP RUNNING, YOU CHEATING BASTARD, I'M GETTING MAULED OUT HERE!!!!
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2007-10-02 10:08:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
Why are apartments called apartments when they're all together? Shouldn't they be called togetherments?
----------------------------------------
I drive on driveways and park on parkways, what the fuck are you talking about?
And about apartments...... yeah, I like togetherments.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:48:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How can I bring Yozz's wife to orgasm.....again?
----------------------------------------
I spoke to her, and she said you were a solid "meh".
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:44:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
How can I bring my wife to orgasm?
----------------------------------------
Pay me $2000 and leave the backdoor key under the mat.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:31:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you like Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain?
----------------------------------------
Only if you're not into yoga and you have half a brain.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:30:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
----------------------------------------
What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:28:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What is the proper dosage of Kaopectate?
----------------------------------------
The dose of attapulgite will be different for different patients. Follow your doctor's orders or the directions on the label . The following information includes only the average doses of attapulgite.
The number of tablets or teaspoonfuls of suspension that you take depends on the strength of the medicine.
* For diarrhea:
o For oral dosage form (suspension):
+ Adults and children 12 years of age and older—The usual dose is 1200 to 1500 milligrams (mg) taken after each loose bowel movement. No more than 9000 mg should be taken in twenty-four hours.
+ Children 6 to 12 years of age—The usual dose is 600 mg taken after each loose bowel movement. No more than 4200 mg should be taken in twenty-four hours.
+ Children 3 to 6 years of age—The usual dose is 300 mg taken after each loose bowel movement. No more than 2100 mg should be taken in twenty-four hours.
+ Children up to 3 years of age—Use and dose must be determined by your doctor.
o For oral dosage form (tablets):
+ Adults and children 12 years of age and older—The usual dose is 1200 to 1500 mg taken after each loose bowel movement. No more than 9000 mg should be taken in twenty-four hours.
+ Children 6 to 12 years of age—The usual dose is 750 mg taken after each loose bowel movement. No more than 4500 mg should be taken in twenty-four hours.
+ Children 3 to 6 years of age—The oral suspension dosage form should be used in this age group.
o For oral dosage form (chewable tablets):
+ Adults and children 12 years of age and older—The usual dose is 1200 mg taken after each loose bowel movement. No more than 8400 mg should be taken in twenty-four hours.
+ Children 6 to 12 years of age—The usual dose is 600 mg taken after each loose bowel movement. No more than 4200 mg should be taken in twenty-four hours.
+ Children 3 to 6 years of age—The usual dose is 300 mg taken after each loose bowel movement. No more than 2100 mg should be taken in twenty-four hours.
+ Children up to 3 years of age—Use and dose must be determined by your doctor
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:23:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did Shlongy rape that monkey or was it just an unfortunate accident?
----------------------------------------
The monkey never actually said "no", so I don't think he did anything wrong. Except for fucking a monkey.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:22:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When does 'no' really mean 'yes just tear my fucking clothes off and fuck me forcefully'?
----------------------------------------
When she's drunk and throwing up all over herself, and the words become garbled by the sound of her own vomit.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:22:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The traditional sign for tomato in ASL involves one hand with the index finger extended, moving from the lips down in front of the body, while the other hand is in a flat O handshape and remains still in front of the body. Some signers now produce it without the O handshape, instead extending the index finger on the hand that stays still. What type of phonological process is this? Why do you think such a change might have happened?
----------------------------------------
I'm not entirely sure. Just as our language evolves, I would imagine that American Sign Language is subject to change as well. I'm sure something like that would be on par with something like everybody's mutual understanding of the term "LOL" or other nonsensical "words".
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-02 12:59:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You think the carpet pissers did this?
----------------------------------------
Probably. You never know with those carpet pissers.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:15:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:43:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?
---------------------------------------------
Heh...I just saw Rockapella in concert last weekend in St. Louis...awesome show, and they did that song. Well worth the $20/ticket, and then some.
Mr. Maiorano:
Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
----------------------------------------
Because I've got birdseed in my pocket and peanut-butter on my balls.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-10-02 08:55:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
who let the dogs out?
----------------------------------------
The Baha Men, of course.
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2007-10-02 08:34:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why does ubersite have 5 days of material still on the front page?
----------------------------------------
Because it has turned into a serious writer's forum.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-10-02 08:18:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Last night I had a dream that Brian Urlacher bought the Chicago Bears franchise and fired the coach. What does it mean?
----------------------------------------
That you secretly want to have sex with your grandmother and your aunt at the same time.
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-10-02 08:13:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A hangman is standing on a path, stopping everyone who passes and asking them where they are going. If they tell the truth, he lets them pass, and if they lie, he hangs them. One day, a man comes to him and says, "I came here so you could hang me." What should the hangman do?
----------------------------------------
Cut his dick off.
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-10-02 08:10:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Three friends check into a motel for the night and the clerk tells them the bill is $30, payable in advance. So, they each pay the clerk $10 and go to their room. A few minutes later, the clerk realizes he has made an error and overcharged the trio by $5. He asks the bellhop to return $5 to the 3 friends who had just checked in. The bellhop sees this as an opportunity to make $2 as he reasons that the three friends would have a tough time dividing $5 evenly among them; so he decides to tell them that the clerk made a mistake of only $3, giving a dollar back to each of the friends. He pockets the leftover $2 and goes home for the day! Now, each of the three friends gets a dollar back, thus they each paid $9 for the room which is a total of $27 for the night. We know the bellhop pocketed $2 and adding that to the $27, you get $29, not $30 which was originally spent. Where did the other dollar go?
----------------------------------------
I believe that the flaw in this word problem stems from the fact that the $5 was supposed to be divided three ways, no matter what. Had the $5 been divided equally amongst the three friends, they would have paid a total of $24.99 and they would fight to the death for the extra penny.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-10-02 07:10:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Here's a great one: don't you have anything better to do? Like maybe noting at all and atleast not this awesome crap?
----------------------------------------
When I have something better to do, then I go do it. Until then, I'm going to sit here and weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-10-02 06:57:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Can I have an icecream?
----------------------------------------
Holy fuck, no. You're probably thinking of just your regular everyday ice cream with all those bells and whistles and shit, with gumballs on the bottom held together with nothing but a fucking popsicle stick. YOU KNOW NOTHING OF ICE CREAM UNTIL YOU HAVE BEEN TO MY HOMETOWN!!! UNTIL THEN, YOU WILL NOT EAT ANOTHER ICE CREAM FOR AS LONG AS YOU LIVE. We had this pimptastic place called Dip Top. You'd get either a vanilla, chocolate, or vanilla-chocolate swirl soft-serve, and then they would dip it into this candy-wax and it would all harden around the outside of the ice cream. Holy shit, I just came.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 06:04:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why does wildman call fey Fay-O?
----------------------------------------
I have no idea. Maybe he thinks it's cute or something?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:59:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Does Fey like me now?
----------------------------------------
She's all over your nuts, bro. Go tap that shit.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:56:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AND THAT, MATT, IS THE REAL FINAL QUESTION, AFTER WHICH YOU MIGHT AS WELL SHUT THIS WHOLE POST DOWN, BECAUSE THE PEAK, THE ZENITH, HAS BEEN ATTAINED:
why?
----------------------------------------
Tarzan. That's all you need to know.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:47:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
After recently seeing the classic; Word Association, brought back to life and then modeling your post along the same general lines...do you expect to garner the same amount of hits and reviews?
----------------------------------------
Actually, this was an idea that I had last Thursday, before Word Association got back on the heated list. I waited until now, because this is when Uber is at its peak. And no, there is no way this can match the sheer number of hits and reviews.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-02 12:58:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:45:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who does Fey find attractive on Ubersite?
----------------------------------------
Me.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And finally, WHY DID YOU DO THIS POST?
WHAT DID YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE?
DO YOU FEEL YOU HAVE ACHIEVED IT?
I want anwers. Honest answers. You promised. (Needs to do what it says on the tin.)
----------------------------------------
I've been sitting around for too long. I needed to get myself out there and do something different. Plus the heat is nice.
Maybe to get people to know me a little better? I'm really not sure. I kinda thought of this on the fly.
Yeah, sure, I guess.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:43:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Am I annoying you yet?
----------------------------------------
That's pretty hard to do, princess.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:43:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When will fey do another camwhore?
----------------------------------------
Whenever she decides to stop being a prude and show us her hole.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:43:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why did you choose to use your (assumedly) real name on Uber?
Do you regret the decision?
----------------------------------------
I hate handles. It's too fake, and the one thing I've vowed never to be is a fake person. No, I don't regret it. There are surprisingly quite a few "Matt Maiorano"s in the world. One of which I went to school with. He was one year ahead of me.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:42:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What do you most wish you started with at a very young age so that you were a master at it by now?
----------------------------------------
Mixed Martial Arts.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:40:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you take the last piece of cake, or let somebody else have it?
If you're doing the dividing, do you take the largest piece for yourself or let the other person choose?
What's more important; being liked or being right?
----------------------------------------
I cut it in half.
Depends on who it is.
This question doesn't apply to me, because I'm either neither or both.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:39:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What part of yourself do you love the most?
----------------------------------------
The fourth toe on my left foot. It's so curly.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:38:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What part of yourself do you hate the most?
----------------------------------------
My all of me.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:38:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Of the three following, what do you choose?
Becoming a suicide bomber to save your family from death.
Killing one person to save your own life.
Or to die before you choose either of the two above.
----------------------------------------
Are these people I'm supposed to kill innocent? Or are they the ones trying to hurt my family? Clarify your questions, Fey. Jesus Christ.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:34:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you love your mother or your father the most?
----------------------------------------
That's like asking your parents which child they love the most. I'll tell you who I LIKE the most, and that's my mom.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:34:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who from your past do you most want to meet again, and what would you say?
----------------------------------------
My dog Clifford. I wouldn't say anything, I would just want to hold him again.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-02 12:58:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:34:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where do you wish you were, right NOW?
----------------------------------------
Am I limited to a single PLACE? Or could I say that I wish that something could be happening around me? In any case, I need to be in the center of a Brazilian Model Blowjob Contest. In Boulder Colorodo.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:33:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What's wrong with society today?
----------------------------------------
Fear is what's wrong.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:33:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Define cool.
Define uncool.
----------------------------------------
Cool: Temperature of an object that falls between cold and luke-warm.
Uncool: Temperature of an object that is either luke-warm, warm, hot, or even cold.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 04:26:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
J'ever notice, how all the self-sacrificing women in history, Joan of Arc, Mother Teresa..hmmm.... can't think of any others, they all die alone?
The men, on the other hand, get so much fuzz it's crazy.
----------------------------------------
That's whack, yo.
Submitted by DancingOtter (user info) at 2007-10-02 03:49:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Will men ever be able to understand women?
----------------------------------------
Make me a Goddamned sandwich.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-02 03:33:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What colour panties am I wearing?
----------------------------------------
None. I hope.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 03:28:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Has Shlongy ever taken it up the pooper?
----------------------------------------
Taken WHAT up the pooper? If you're referring to his daily suppository, then yes. He takes it up the pooper.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-02 02:15:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why the fuck did I join Grueberfest?
----------------------------------------
Because you're a sad little man with a deeper need for acceptance that you never received as a child. Either that, or it might actually be a pretty cool idea.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-02 02:04:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you are the home plate umpire in a one-game playoff that determines who makes the postseason playoffs and it goes to extra innings, how nervous do you get about making calls you didn't see clearly? When it's clear you're not sure whether or not the runner safely reached home on what could be the game winning and season determining play, what's your best guess as to the result? What can you do? How do you deal with the death threats you will receive?
----------------------------------------
I just think everything over with a Twix.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-10-02 01:58:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:59:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Constitution (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:57:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Watch porn with your parents, or watch porn starring your parents?
----------------------------
Ouch. That's tough. In all seriousness, I'd have to say starring my parents.......
____
Bullshit?
----------------------------------------
Actually, no. I would really prefer to watch a porn with my parents in it than watch porn with my parents.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-02 01:56:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Regarding the current environment, what are the three biggest things that disappoint you in the world?
----------------------------------------
1. People's inability or lack of want to change things themselves.
2. The fact that it took a president to take a shit on the earth to make people realize that our environment is in danger
3. The fact that penguins haven't rallied together to support our troops. Fucking penguins.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-02 12:46:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Crystle - I think you wear your heart on your sleeve. You are a beautiful,and from what I gather, a successful woman. A man won't complete you only add more to your life. Stop looking and waiting and you will attract the man of your dreams.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-02 12:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-02 12:30:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-02 12:28:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
also - why don't I have a boyfriend?
~~~~
because you are just being choosy until 'the one' comes along.
And he will
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-02 12:28:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
also - why don't I have a boyfriend?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-02 12:24:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DO YOU LOVE ME?
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-02 12:12:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DO YOU LOVE ME?!?!?!
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-02 11:48:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Woah, it seems I missed a lot of questions while I was off doing shit. I'll have to go through these as quickly as possible.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-02 11:13:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i do suck a mean cock
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-02 11:09:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:50:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well is the ratio larger than before?
yes there are alters but there are 30k plus user accounts and is it really hard to tell the alters and what the fuck does that matter anyway?
if it's sico, you know its sico because he'll use words he doesn't really understand
if its brett you'll know because you just push a few buttons and he wigs out a bit.
I'm an alter but does that validate or negate at all what I have to say on a website where we're all fairly anonymous?
think about how silly this arguement would sound if we had it in front of someone who's never been to uber.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:45:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
alters are not the problem, they've been here forever.
the problem is that you all think there is a problem as if there is some formula this place should follow to fit you.
this place is ever changing and you either stay or don't but to bitch because someone -2s a post or you don't get enough attention or blah fucking blah is ridiculous.
look at loki, she posts whatever the fuck she feels like and has no shame about it and everyone should take a lesson from that
***********
this kind of thing is why me and this bologna gobbling catcher get along so well. well, that and the fact that he sucks a MEAN cock. WHOOOOOOOOOOO-EEEEEEEEEE.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 10:54:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ahahaha EVERYONE HAS!!!
havent they..........
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2007-10-02 10:52:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what was the name of your first boyfriend?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-10-02 10:46:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
have u ever fingered your own ass...honestly?
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-10-02 10:29:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2007-10-02 08:34:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why does ubersite have 5 days of material still on the front page?
--
ya what the hell
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-10-02 10:23:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Careful....
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-10-02 10:09:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What did the turtle say to the eagle?
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2007-10-02 10:08:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
Why are apartments called apartments when they're all together? Shouldn't they be called togetherments?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:59:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if it's sico, you know its sico because he'll use words he doesn't really understand
if its brett you'll know because you just push a few buttons and he wigs out a bit.
hahaha true.
also both are obsessed with camwhoring at any opportunity.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:51:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How did Yozz get a wife?
Is 'wife' slang for man-partner?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:50:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well is the ratio larger than before?
yes there are alters but there are 30k plus user accounts and is it really hard to tell the alters and what the fuck does that matter anyway?
if it's sico, you know its sico because he'll use words he doesn't really understand
if its brett you'll know because you just push a few buttons and he wigs out a bit.
I'm an alter but does that validate or negate at all what I have to say on a website where we're all fairly anonymous?
think about how silly this arguement would sound if we had it in front of someone who's never been to uber.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:48:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How can I bring Yozz's wife to orgasm.....again?
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:47:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:39:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What part of yourself do you love the most?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He's gonna say his wang. Dude's hung like a baby.
...7 lbs. 3 ounces.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:46:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Of they've always been here but it seems like there is a ton of them now.
Hell, someone was paying $1 for Indians to create accounts.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:45:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
alters are not the problem, they've been here forever.
the problem is that you all think there is a problem as if there is some formula this place should follow to fit you.
this place is ever changing and you either stay or don't but to bitch because someone -2s a post or you don't get enough attention or blah fucking blah is ridiculous.
look at loki, she posts whatever the fuck she feels like and has no shame about it and everyone should take a lesson from that
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:44:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
How can I bring my wife to orgasm?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:42:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
One of the problems is currently this site is clogged with alters.
I'm not saying I'm a good writer or anything but at one point in time, I put a lot of thought and care in my posts and I have a few posts I'm proud of.
I had the same problem. Largely ignored until people started recognizing my name.
Now I'd be disgusted to craft a decent post only to have it overshadowed by a post like;
I'M A BIG STUPID, STEROID TAKING DOUCHEBAG WITH A SOCK ON MY DICK AND YOU ALL ARE FAGGOTS!
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:41:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DeadToast (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:38:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't need you to stick up for me, Empathetic. I realize that most people here skip me over and head straight to the more well-know users. I have a small following of people, and a decent rating. I must be doing something right.
On the other hand, it is quite discouraging to see my post with 14 reviews. I am teetering on if I will continue that series or not.
---
I wouldn't blame you if you quit.
I like your stuff, but I need to stay away. See, there are some that think I am you (the mighty alter-slayers ALWAYS think they are right).
Anyway, you should definitely have more hits. That Smurf thing was gold. You better have a B@W post before the year's out, or it just further proves the elitism of Uber.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:41:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DeadToast (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:38:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't need you to stick up for me, Empathetic. I realize that most people here skip me over and head straight to the more well-know users. I have a small following of people, and a decent rating. I must be doing something right.
On the other hand, it is quite discouraging to see my post with 14 reviews. I am teetering on if I will continue that series or not. It's not like it is a dream of mine to be an established author, I just had an idea and typed it out.
We'll see...
======================
Hey man, don't do the rest of us any favors.
I don't mean that as cocky as it sounds I just mean...post for you because you desire feedback or you just wish to put yourself outthere because the majority of us (sico and oathy excluded) can get by today without seeing some uber posts.
uber owes you nothing
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:39:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
EI - hypocritical is not the right term as people are allowed to change views or feelings about things whenever they feel like it
Hypercritical is probably a better definition.
Submitted by DeadToast (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:38:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't need you to stick up for me, Empathetic. I realize that most people here skip me over and head straight to the more well-know users. I have a small following of people, and a decent rating. I must be doing something right.
On the other hand, it is quite discouraging to see my post with 14 reviews. I am teetering on if I will continue that series or not. It's not like it is a dream of mine to be an established author, I just had an idea and typed it out.
We'll see...
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Uber is VERY hypocritical.
I think that's all there is to say.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:36:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
now you have me at a disadvantage..you know me but I don't know you.
anyway, i disagree on the DeadToast issue so maybe i'm biased. I think he does ok but it's not ground breaking just slightly entertaining but therein lies the problem.
the talent pool is so saturated with crap that slightly better than crap will get loaded with +2s when it should really be a 0 or +1 and then you have that side of of it going where the old schoolers call it like it is and the newbies all +2 it because they don't know better, the weren't here to witness stuff like ATP or other such goodness. And then you have the oldtimers that +2 marginal posts in hopes that they spring a trend in good posts and at the end of the day you have the same fucknig formula that has been operating on uber forever and the same people bitching and pointing it out and the same people defending change and so on.
the definition of insanity?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:34:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:31:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you like Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain?
~~~~~
hahah excellent!
Where the hell is my answer ???
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:34:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:31:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you are a good writer you should never give up, if you dont believe in yourself no one else ever will.
---
They probably don't give up on writing, just Uber.
And isn't that what the "Take Back Uber" campaigns are all about. People constantly whine about the quality of material here, but those same people jump on the latest bandwagon or Ghola drivel like lice to a trailer park.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:31:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you like Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:31:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Truth below.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:31:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you are a good writer you should never give up, if you dont believe in yourself no one else ever will.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:30:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:29:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Agreed, BAMF.
But I'm not talking most heated.
I'm just saying that good writers leave because, I feel, they are ignored and give up. Why bother writing anything if nobody will read it?
DeadToast is the most entertaining newcomer in a long fucking time. He is also the most underrated.
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:28:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What is the proper dosage of Kaopectate?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:28:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:24:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2007-10-02 08:34:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why does ubersite have 5 days of material still on the front page?
--------
Because nobody cares any longer. People are more into reviewing the latest Kaos-King shit fest 700,000 times then they are in posting. And why post anyways. It's obvious that unless you are in the secret inner circle, you get largely ignored.
Take Deadtoast, for example.
He has an original, creative, and captivating post. It's rated 1.91. It only has 13 reviews.
Meanwhile, KK has a rating of 0.88 on 216 reviews.
Hardly seems worth the effort for Toast. (I'm not him Bret/Simon. I know you really, REALLY want me to be tough, so you can hate him.)
And that, dear Donitsu, is why we have 5 days of material on the front page.
===========================
Empathetic, while you're on the right track with 'no one cares' the reviewing shit posts straight to most heated is not something new, its been going on forever.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:27:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yawn
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:26:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*though
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:24:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2007-10-02 08:34:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why does ubersite have 5 days of material still on the front page?
--------
Because nobody cares any longer. People are more into reviewing the latest Kaos-King shit fest 700,000 times then they are in posting. And why post anyways. It's obvious that unless you are in the secret inner circle, you get largely ignored.
Take Deadtoast, for example.
He has an original, creative, and captivating post. It's rated 1.91. It only has 13 reviews.
Meanwhile, KK has a rating of 0.88 on 216 reviews.
Hardly seems worth the effort for Toast. (I'm not him Bret/Simon. I know you really, REALLY want me to be tough, so you can hate him.)
And that, dear Donitsu, is why we have 5 days of material on the front page.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:23:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did Shlongy rape that monkey or was it just an unfortunate accident?
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:22:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When does 'no' really mean 'yes just tear my fucking clothes off and fuck me forcefully'?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:22:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The traditional sign for tomato in ASL involves one hand with the index finger extended, moving from the lips down in front of the body, while the other hand is in a flat O handshape and remains still in front of the body. Some signers now produce it without the O handshape, instead extending the index finger on the hand that stays still. What type of phonological process is this? Why do you think such a change might have happened?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You think the carpet pissers did this?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-02 09:15:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:43:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?
---------------------------------------------
Heh...I just saw Rockapella in concert last weekend in St. Louis...awesome show, and they did that song. Well worth the $20/ticket, and then some.
Mr. Maiorano:
Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-10-02 08:55:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
who let the dogs out?
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2007-10-02 08:34:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why does ubersite have 5 days of material still on the front page?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-10-02 08:18:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Last night I had a dream that Brian Urlacher bought the Chicago Bears franchise and fired the coach. What does it mean?
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-10-02 08:13:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A hangman is standing on a path, stopping everyone who passes and asking them where they are going. If they tell the truth, he lets them pass, and if they lie, he hangs them. One day, a man comes to him and says, "I came here so you could hang me." What should the hangman do?
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-10-02 08:10:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Three friends check into a motel for the night and the clerk tells them the bill is $30, payable in advance. So, they each pay the clerk $10 and go to their room. A few minutes later, the clerk realizes he has made an error and overcharged the trio by $5. He asks the bellhop to return $5 to the 3 friends who had just checked in. The bellhop sees this as an opportunity to make $2 as he reasons that the three friends would have a tough time dividing $5 evenly among them; so he decides to tell them that the clerk made a mistake of only $3, giving a dollar back to each of the friends. He pockets the leftover $2 and goes home for the day! Now, each of the three friends gets a dollar back, thus they each paid $9 for the room which is a total of $27 for the night. We know the bellhop pocketed $2 and adding that to the $27, you get $29, not $30 which was originally spent. Where did the other dollar go?
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-02 07:48:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112138#2541335
Incorrect sir! It was a trick question.
I said I never bothered researching it, but she did in fact tell me, which I made no mention of at all!
The answer sir, is a "cheloid" (key-Lloyd)
Thank you for your efforts though.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-10-02 07:10:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Here's a great one: don't you have anything better to do? Like maybe noting at all and atleast not this awesome crap?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 07:04:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
finish your homework first
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-10-02 06:57:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Can I have an icecream?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 06:09:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fey what are your projects regarding, I would guess molecular science.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 06:06:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wildman -
I'll accept the ADD lable, but I balk at needy. Needy I save for people I know and care about, you lot don't get no needy from me. I'm bored and avoiding my projects/assigments/duties.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 06:04:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why does wildman call fey Fay-O?
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-10-02 06:01:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't know Fay-O, it just seems a little: ADD/needy?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:59:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Does Fey like me now?
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:57:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:56:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AND THAT, MATT, IS THE REAL FINAL QUESTION, AFTER WHICH YOU MIGHT AS WELL SHUT THIS WHOLE POST DOWN, BECAUSE THE PEAK, THE ZENITH, HAS BEEN ATTAINED:
why?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:55:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:55:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:55:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wildman..
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:52:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And Fay-O, have you ever considered gathering all of your thoughts together and THEN placing them, in outline form, on a single review?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Society is what people make it.
______
Exactly. And thus I ask, what is wrong with society today.
Camwhore; dunno. Maybe never. Maybe today. Maybe in a year.
Attractive; based on physical appearances, i have no idea. based on writings, reviews, attitude/persona displayed, there's a few.
BUT IT'S NOT MY JOB TO ANSWER QUESTIONS, IT'S MATT'S.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:47:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
After recently seeing the classic; Word Association, brought back to life and then modeling your post along the same general lines...do you expect to garner the same amount of hits and reviews?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:45:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who does Fey find attractive on Ubersite?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And finally, WHY DID YOU DO THIS POST?
WHAT DID YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE?
DO YOU FEEL YOU HAVE ACHIEVED IT?
I want anwers. Honest answers. You promised. (Needs to do what it says on the tin.)
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:43:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Am I annoying you yet?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:43:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When will fey do another camwhore?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:43:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why did you choose to use your (assumedly) real name on Uber?
Do you regret the decision?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Society is what people make it.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:42:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What do you most wish you started with at a very young age so that you were a master at it by now?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:41:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:40:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Society is not wrong but the people are,
________
Society is comprised of people. Society is created by people. Society is people.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:40:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
so many questions, so little time. Well loads of time but im pooped.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:40:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you take the last piece of cake, or let somebody else have it?
If you're doing the dividing, do you take the largest piece for yourself or let the other person choose?
What's more important; being liked or being right?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:40:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Society is not wrong but the people are, It's a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what.
LIES KILL SOCIETY.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:39:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What part of yourself do you love the most?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:38:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What part of yourself do you hate the most?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:38:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Of the three following, what do you choose?
Becoming a suicide bomber to save your family from death.
Killing one person to save your own life.
Or to die before you choose either of the two above.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:37:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So many questions Fey.......
cool is realising there is nothing in this universe that can't be explained. Eventually.
Uncool is a being jerk to people you even haven't slept with
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:34:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you love your mother or your father the most?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:34:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who from your past do you most want to meet again, and what would you say?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:34:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where do you wish you were, right NOW?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:33:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What's wrong with society today?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-02 05:33:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Define cool.
Define uncool.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 04:26:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
J'ever notice, how all the self-sacrificing women in history, Joan of Arc, Mother Teresa..hmmm.... can't think of any others, they all die alone?
The men, on the other hand, get so much fuzz it's crazy.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-02 04:21:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Poor Em you were so looking forward to it. Boyfriend trouble, huh?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 04:06:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lets just say , I didnt go.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-02 03:52:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
When are we gonna see a pic of you in your fancy dress then EI?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 03:49:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah I stuffed them in your mouth
Submitted by DancingOtter (user info) at 2007-10-02 03:49:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Will men ever be able to understand women?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-02 03:47:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Emmision, I'm not wearing your panties today.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 03:42:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shit coloured?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-02 03:33:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What colour panties am I wearing?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-02 03:28:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Has Shlongy ever taken it up the pooper?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-02 02:15:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why the fuck did I join Grueberfest?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-02 02:04:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you are the home plate umpire in a one-game playoff that determines who makes the postseason playoffs and it goes to extra innings, how nervous do you get about making calls you didn't see clearly? When it's clear you're not sure whether or not the runner safely reached home on what could be the game winning and season determining play, what's your best guess as to the result? What can you do? How do you deal with the death threats you will receive?
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-10-02 01:58:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:59:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Constitution (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:57:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Watch porn with your parents, or watch porn starring your parents?
----------------------------
Ouch. That's tough. In all seriousness, I'd have to say starring my parents.......
____
Bullshit?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-02 01:56:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Regarding the current environment, what are the three biggest things that disappoint you in the world?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-02 01:12:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-10-02 00:39:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who put the bop in the bop she wop she wop?
--------------------------
The same guy who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-10-02 00:39:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who put the bop in the bop she wop she wop?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:59:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Constitution (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:57:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Watch porn with your parents, or watch porn starring your parents?
----------------------------
Ouch. That's tough. In all seriousness, I'd have to say starring my parents.......
and me.
Submitted by Constitution (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:57:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Watch porn with your parents, or watch porn starring your parents?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:50:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:42:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
have you ever used the word 'BOSH' in your daily conversations?
------------------------------
I have, actually, and it was fucking bosh, bro.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:41:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What position were your parents in when you were conceived?
------------------------------
Eiffel Tower
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:41:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Earl Scruggs:
Banjo legend?
OR
Banjo fisting silly nanny?
------------------------------
Too easy. Neither. Earl Scruggs is a finger-flicking faggot who couldn't banjo his way out of a faggot's pajama party.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:47:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:40:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if there could be only one Uber Matt, like with Highlander, which Matt would survive to the end? also, would we have to cut each others heads off, or would it something even cooler?
-----------------------------
That is an excellent question.
First off, this fight would take place on top of a mountain inside a 6-foot high ring of fire. Each of our left arms will be tied together to each other so that we are all in close proximity of each other. We will each choose a weapon for our right arms. Weapons will be limited to a Chinchilla, accordian, purple pimp-hat, and Chris Crocker.
None will survive.
Only Chris Crocker.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:42:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
have you ever used the word 'BOSH' in your daily conversations?
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:41:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What position were your parents in when you were conceived?
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:41:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Earl Scruggs:
Banjo legend?
OR
Banjo fisting silly nanny?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:40:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if there could be only one Uber Matt, like with Highlander, which Matt would survive to the end? also, would we have to cut each others heads off, or would it something even cooler?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:37:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
From the ages of 12-23,
there was a hard growth in my ear lobe which I thought was placed by aliens for experimental purposes because I saw lights moving in the sky the night before I noticed it.
It eventually dissappeared, and I figured that the aliens had taken it out to read the results.
However, a couple of years ago, I told this to a girl I was dating who was studying to be a doctor.
She laughed, and told me I was funny, and said there was a medical term for it, and it was fairly common.
I never bothered to look it up, so I'm going to take this opportunity to find out what it was by asking you.
Also,
sadly,
I didn't stop thinking it was aliens until I was 25.
100% true
----------------------------
Sorry, I didn't see this was an actual question.
I hate to say this, but that growth was actually that ear-parasite from Wrath of Kahn. You need to do exactly as I tell you:
Find yourself a pair of those nippy cutters at Radioshack, and cut away at your ear until there's nothing left. If you go and cut off the whole thing at once, he'll burrow deeper until you can't get at him at all.
Clear away all the blood and shit with rubbing alcohol, quarterize it with some gunpowder by coating the outside with some powder and lighting it on fire. This will scare it into staying still until you're able to reach inside with those thin-headed pliers so you can yank it out. You gotta reach in deep for it, too, so don't be afraid to yank it right out.
If you go deaf, and you pass out from the pain, you didn't get it.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:22:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll be on gabbly for a bit, if any of you are interested in an interactive version of this post.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:18:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:35:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lish, that just made me doubt your judgement on a fine rack.
===
I did what now?
One fine rack: Porn star Bella Donna.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:17:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:07:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
is it going to burn when i pee?
--------------------------
Only if you just finished jacking off with Dial soap.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:05:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why is there a second season of I Love New York?
--------------------------
Because nobody paid attention to the first, except for all of New York.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:54:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where were you on the evening of October 1st at 9:54 pm?
--------------------------
Carrying groceries home.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:52:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What do you get when you cross an eggplant with a three-toed sloth?
--------------------------
An egg-toed plant. I see these creatures only in my nightmares.
Submitted by PhillipTheGreat (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:51:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is the pope catholic?
Does a bear shit in the woods?
--------------------------
The pope is a Nazi, and bears will often shit next to your refrigerator depending on where you live, and if the area is heavily populated with Black Bears. Arm yourself appropriately, because those fuckers are dangerous, and God knows we could all use a little less fecal matter next to our fridges.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:15:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn. Too soon.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:11:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:46:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what the hell is wrong with the bears this season and how do they beat it and destropy thr cheetriots in da superbowl
weep
--------------------------
Nothing. Cheating will always let you get ahead in life. It's a proven fact.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:44:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
to be or not to be?
--------------------------
That IS the question.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:44:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shrinkage. Do women know about it yet?
--------------------------
Surprisingly enough, not many do. We must alert them with posters and billboards.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:43:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What happened to the Snowdens of yesteryear?
--------------------------
Cradled in the arms of the faithful Yossarian, my friend.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:43:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?
--------------------------
Always somewhere awesome, like Reykjavik. Lucky bitch.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:42:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Matt --
+2 if you can answer this: When the hell are the Grueberfest stories due?
--------------------------
THURSDAY at 11:59pm.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:35:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lish, that just made me doubt your judgement on a fine rack.
who likes steak?
--------------------------
Everybody loves steak. That is, everybody who deserves life.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:35:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If a train left San Diego, CA at 5:40 am on Teusday, June 2nd, headed eastbound carrying a load of potatoes,
and a school bus full of AIDS patients got caught on the tracks near Tuscaloosa, AL at 9:30 pm on Wednesday, June 3rd, and the train happened upon them and smashed them into smithereens,
As preschoolers watched from their desks,
which happened to be situated precariously near the tracks,
but it was all a fantasy of a sociopath named Stu in St. Paul, Minnesota,
who was hiding from the feds in his mothers basement,
would it have a butterfly effect which resulted in crack being legalized?
Because I like that idea.
I also like this post, and I hope you keep your word, because I have questions that need answering!
--------------------------
You are correct in assuming that the butterfly effect could potentially lead to crack being legalized, but keep in mind that this turn of events could warp the very fabric of space leading to the possibility that our only means of reproduction rely on fellatio from a one-eyed, one-armed, peg-legged fat guy in studded latex with a penchant for flicking your sack every time you start to actually enjoy it.
Plus, men make the babies.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:07:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
is it going to burn when i pee?
----
Yes
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:07:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
is it going to burn when i pee?
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-10-01 23:05:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why is there a second season of I Love New York?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:54:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where were you on the evening of October 1st at 9:54 pm?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:52:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What do you get when you cross an eggplant with a three-toed sloth?
Submitted by PhillipTheGreat (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:51:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is the pope catholic?
Does a bear shit in the woods?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:51:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:46:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what the hell is wrong with the bears this season and how do they beat it and destropy thr cheetriots in da superbowl
-----
Orton is the answer. Seriously.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:49:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:47:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:44:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shrinkage. Do women know about it yet?
===
You mean like laundry?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:48:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I +2'd you too early.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:47:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:44:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shrinkage. Do women know about it yet?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:46:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What your favorite of my posts?
And where do babies come from?
------------------------------
"Where the Sidewalk Ends"
Copious amounts of vagina.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:27:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Which living woman has the best boobs?
------------------------------
I know she has huge nipples, but I would have to say the pornstar Lily Thai.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:23:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If an integer n >2, then does a^n + b^n = c^n have a solution for non-zero integers a, b, and c?
------------------------------
Fermat seems to think so.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
From the ages of 12-23,
there was a hard growth in my ear lobe which I thought was placed by aliens for experimental purposes because I saw lights moving in the sky the night before I noticed it.
It eventually dissappeared, and I figured that the aliens had taken it out to read the results.
However, a couple of years ago, I told this to a girl I was dating who was studying to be a doctor.
She laughed, and told me I was funny, and said there was a medical term for it, and it was fairly common.
I never bothered to look it up, so I'm going to take this opportunity to find out what it was by asking you.
Also,
sadly,
I didn't stop thinking it was aliens until I was 25.
100% true
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:46:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what the hell is wrong with the bears this season and how do they beat it and destropy thr cheetriots in da superbowl
weep
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:44:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
to be or not to be?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:44:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shrinkage. Do women know about it yet?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:43:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What happened to the Snowdens of yesteryear?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:43:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:42:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Matt --
+2 if you can answer this: When the hell are the Grueberfest stories due?
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:35:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lish, that just made me doubt your judgement on a fine rack.
who likes steak?
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:35:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If a train left San Diego, CA at 5:40 am on Teusday, June 2nd, headed eastbound carrying a load of potatoes,
and a school bus full of AIDS patients got caught on the tracks near Tuscaloosa, AL at 9:30 pm on Wednesday, June 3rd, and the train happened upon them and smashed them into smithereens,
As preschoolers watched from their desks,
which happened to be situated precariously near the tracks,
but it was all a fantasy of a sociopath named Stu in St. Paul, Minnesota,
who was hiding from the feds in his mothers basement,
would it have a butterfly effect which resulted in crack being legalized?
Because I like that idea.
I also like this post, and I hope you keep your word, because I have questions that need answering!
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:33:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:18:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
rock lobster?
--------------------
Had to:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/109433
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:33:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:27:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Which living woman has the best boobs?
------
15 years ago, it was Greta Scacchi. Look her up.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:32:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:22:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
South Korea's president crossed the Cold War's last frontier on Tuesday in a symbolic walk of reconciliation for talks with his North Korean counterpart?
------------------------
Yes.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:21:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What causes asparagus to grow on doorknobs?
------------------------
Broccoli. We must fear it.
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:20:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm Ron Burgundy?
------------------------
Yes. Stop reading the mistakes on the teleprompter, dicklick.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:19:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Could there possibly be a more blatant attempt at hits and heat than this post?
------------------------
Actually, yes.
Submitted by Constitution (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:19:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
George W. Bush: great president, or greatest president?
------------------------
Fuck you.
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What your favorite of my posts?
And where do babies come from?
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:27:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Which living woman has the best boobs?
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:23:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If an integer n >2, then does a^n + b^n = c^n have a solution for non-zero integers a, b, and c?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:23:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:18:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where on earth did you come up with that filename?
-----------------
My imagination.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:18:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
rock lobster?
--------------------
Commotion in the ocean
His air hose broke
Lots of trouble
Lots of bubble
He was in a jam
Said the giant clam!!!
Rock, Rock
Rock Lobster!!!
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:22:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
South Korea's president crossed the Cold War's last frontier on Tuesday in a symbolic walk of reconciliation for talks with his North Korean counterpart?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:21:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What causes asparagus to grow on doorknobs?
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:20:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm Ron Burgundy?
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:19:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Could there possibly be a more blatant attempt at hits and heat than this post?
Submitted by Constitution (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:19:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
George W. Bush: great president, or greatest president?
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:18:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where on earth did you come up with that filename?
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:18:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
rock lobster?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:16:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:12:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
why is I like magnets and chicks is like metal
---------------------
Because we is cyborgs.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:12:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
why is I like magnets and chicks is like metal
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:12:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:07:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Should I stay or should I go?
---------------------
If you go there will be trouble
And if you stay it will be double
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:07:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Should I stay or should I go?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:06:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:05:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How's my writing?
-------------
Sometimes ok, the rest of the time I don't pay attention.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-01 22:05:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How's my writing?