"Speed of Pain" Grueberfest '07 (919 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.84 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bigmike (View user info) at 2007-10-02 13:23:24 EDT
"Speed of Pain"
Karl stood back and looked at his work. He inspected the clean tile of the floor, sanitary to a gleaming shine. He gazed at the light reflecting off of the stainless steel gurney frames. There were four of them and they all were polished to an incredible shine. The light from the overhead fluorescents was eye shattering to him. The sheets covering the tops of the gurneys were bleached whiter than the whitest cloud. He knew they were soft and luxurious because he had slept on each and every one of them at one point or another over the last few weeks. He had snuggled under each sheet every night prior to bringing home a subject. He had coddled himself in the wrappings on which now rested the flesh of his subjects. He felt a personal bond with them because of this.
Each subject had its differences. Number one, whose name had escaped Karl, had rough flesh, especially on his fingertips and the bottoms of his feet. His knees showed the scars of long past scrapings, most likely having occurred as a child. His hair was shoulder length and dirty blonde, at least where he had hair left. The red wires emanating from the bluish hue that now dominated the top of his skull were in stark contrast to everything else that was happening on his head.
Subject two was a woman. As she lie there on the gurney, he noticed for the first time that she could possibly be of Spanish descent. The night he acquired her, he hadn't really paid much attention to what color she was or what her lineage might be. He was now admiring the olive hue her skin was giving off under the bright lights. He was also admiring the brazilian wax job between her legs, its allure teasing him ever so gently. She had long black hair and quiet features. There was really nothing special about her except the fact that the top of her head also had a bluish-grey mass protruding out of it, red wires extending out to subject number one and also opposite number one to her other side where subject number three was strapped tightly onto his gurney.
Number three was quite an accomplishment for Karl. Number three was an athlete, a boxer by trade and relatively famous for his rage and anger. Karl looked at his menacing black skin, his scarred knuckles, his cauliflower ears. This once volatile and dangerous subject was now resting in a comfortable stupor, the bluish mass protruding from the top of his nappy head oozing just a little bit of blood from the extra cutting Karl had supplied to him. Karl had to remove his frontal lobes in order to settle him down. The boxer was now staring up at the ceiling lights, as the other two subject were, calmed but not completely incapacitated. Karl followed the red wires from subject ones brain, to subject twos brain, to the formerly formidable Mr."Boxer-now-know-only-as-subject-three's" brain. The wires looked a little like tiny telephone wires running from one juicy blue house to another, ready for any communication that might pass through them. He followed the wires to subject number four, whom happened to be his favorite subject of all.
Karl had known John personally when he was in his "salad days" so to speak. John was a police detective and a damn fine one. John had solved a variety of cases, all but one involving a serial murderer. John had attempted to catch Karl. Karl had instead caught John.
Karl walked over to subject number four and gently stroked the side of his head, being careful not to touch any part of his protruding brain. He stood directly over him and looked deeply into his vacant eyes.
"How's it feel, John?" He whispered ever so gently. "How's it feel to be the helpless one?"
Subject number four had no response. He could formulate one in his brain since it still was working, as were all the brains in the room, but he couldn't articulate the thought. All the subject in the room were alive and awake, able to feel and think. Each had been incapacitated by minor surgeries, thus rendering them helpless to act upon their thoughts. Karl bent down and kissed subject number four squarely on his dried, cracked lips. The lips of a police officer who was a little too nervous due to the nature of his work. The lips of a detective who had failed to solve his last case. It was the last kiss those lips would ever feel.
Karl picked up a syringe that was laying next to subject number four, inserted it into his arm, and shot a very tiny amount of adrenaline into his system. After a second, subject number three was straining a little against his bonds, eyes darting from side to side. He was clearly confused and on the edge of delirium.
Karl stepped back from subject number four and walked the length of the room, inspecting all the wires running from each brain on his way back and administering the same shot, the same dosage to each subject. When he reached number one, he opened a cherry box that was setting on a stainless steel table next to the first subject. He reached inside and pulled out three things:
A finely sharpened cleaver,
A pair of dental pliers,
A small hand held drill.
"Ok, all," he said aloud and watched as they all reacted to the adrenaline. "We are about to begin this very important experiment." He could clearly see number three lift his arm against the strong leather restraint that was holding him down, impressive muscles flexing hopelessly. It brought a huge smile to his face.
"READY?" He asked.
No reply, just adrenaline fueled dementia from all four subjects. Karl had hoped he had connected the thalamus of each of their brains together properly. He had done quite a bit of reading on how to do it; on how pain was distributed to the brain and back to the body. He was wondering now, hoping actually, that he could torture all four of them at once using just one of them as a pain receptor, namely subject number one. He was curious to see how it would happen, how the pain would move through them, how long it would take and how intense it would be.
"Let's begin to measure the speed of pain then, shall we?" He said as he picked up the cleaver and lifted it over his head. He brought it down sharply into subject number ones side, burying the eager steel four inches into his soft flesh; his straining muscles twitching violently.
Then Karl heard music to his ears. All four subjects screamed and writhed against their bonds at once, all feeling the same pain, all instantly.
Karl was impressed with himself as he put down the cleaver and picked up the dental pliers. Using a quote from a movie he had watched just recently, he placed the pliers into the mouth of subject number one and latched onto one of his back molars. He leaned down and looked at number one, saying the words that he had heard in the movie.
"Is it safe?" He said as he yanked the molar from subject number ones mouth, spraying blood all over his other teeth. Karl listened to all the subjects screaming now and was proud.
He decided to use these pliers for a little while longer before he picked up the drill.
Karl was in his heaven as he spent the next three days slowly killing four people at once.
He spent the four days after that preparing a room for twenty.
User Reviews
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2007-10-23 09:59:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BigMike is always the Horror King to me.
Submitted by ColchesterDr (user info) at 2007-10-07 12:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-10-05 13:35:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not quite a +2, not quite a +1. As usual it was a very well-written piece, but this kind of torture thing has been done to death on uber.
Even more than zombie stories, although zombie stories are catching up fast.
I agree on this. Really well writen, overdone premise.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-10-05 13:35:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-10-05 13:35:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not quite a +2, not quite a +1. As usual it was a very well-written piece, but this kind of torture thing has been done to death on uber.
Even more than zombie stories, although zombie stories are catching up fast.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-03 19:59:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice device...recalling one of the most chilling movie scenes ever.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-03 15:44:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-10-03 03:25:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
disturbingly excellent
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-10-03 15:43:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah the talented writers on this site makes me jealous...
it was 'bloody' good!!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-03 09:08:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maniacal!
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-10-03 08:47:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-03 07:45:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome. Great concept.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-10-03 03:25:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
disturbingly excellent
Submitted by pshuu (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:12:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're already aware of your spelling/grammar issues. There are also a few sentences with continuity issues. Very good as a body of writing. I'm not a big fan of the psychological thriller, yet your story interests me. I'm eager to hear the rest.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-10-02 23:36:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-02 22:50:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-02 16:26:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's a line from Marathon Man.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-02 16:12:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome, were you referring to "Oldboy" with the dental work?
The Uniter got it right. Great movie btw.
This was originally longer and I cut it down just a little. I didn't want to go too long or draw out the torture too much. I like to leave a little to the readers imagination.
The reason for the cleaver first? I don't know really. He wanted to start with something larger I suppose to see if the reaction would spread on down the line to the others.
Although he relishes the idea of drawn out pain, I think that he just wanted to start out with a bang so to speak.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:08:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Tweaky....
Although burying the cleaver in #1's side...may have been a little early... I would have started with a test pinky or something.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-02 16:31:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant. I felt it ended rather too soon but that may be because I didn't want it to end.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-02 16:26:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's a line from Marathon Man.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-02 16:12:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome, were you referring to "Oldboy" with the dental work?
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-02 15:45:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-02 15:45:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2007-10-02 15:23:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad you posted again.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-10-02 15:05:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love your darker work, but then you already know that.
A perfect balance, horrifying physical imagery and psychological terror.
You're the man to beat in this contest. I look forward to more.
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-10-02 14:40:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome!
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-10-02 14:34:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The bar is set. Awesome concept.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-02 14:07:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aside from the minor grammar/spelling errors, this was very well done.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:57:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*shudders*
That's creepier than Hannibal Lecter, man.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:53:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:36:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, Mike, you scare me some. Not b/c of what you write, but b/c I enjoy it so immensely. If I were ever a serial killer, it'd be the really fucked up kind you conjure up. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Wow, this is just a bit scary Hilarity. :)
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:51:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The dogs are all fine and still eating/pooping as usual Hilarity.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:50:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:42:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay, there were a few spelling mistakes and grammatical errors that deterred from the story some.
Yeah, I'm just getting back into my writing and to tell the truth, I didn't spend the time proofing this that I should have.
I was too busy imagining what it would be like to be Karl. :)
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:42:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay, there were a few spelling mistakes and grammatical errors that deterred from the story some, but this was a great premise and a fine short piece of writing. Building around a psychopaths "experiment" brought back that Frankenstein feeling.
Psychopaths have always fascinated me. What is truly going on in their minds? Not that I would ever want to know, but within their heads, they must feel that what they are doing is perfectly normal and acceptable, but not within the standards of our "morality."
Liked it quite a bit.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:36:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, Mike, you scare me some. Not b/c of what you write, but b/c I enjoy it so immensely. If I were ever a serial killer, it'd be the really fucked up kind you conjure up. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:35:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All dogs are puppies to me.
The cute dog that I constantly threaten to steal from you. I believe she's 10 or so....
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:33:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the ending felt a little abrupt but this was quite entertaining.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:29:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What puppy? I have full grown chewing machines now.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-02 13:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus, I've only read the 1st paragraph and I already know I'm going to love it.
How's the puppy, by the by?