One Last Thing On The List - Grueberfest 2007 (597 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.02 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by TechnoRatty (View user info) at 2007-10-02 17:47:22 EDT
"Come on in, sweetheart," I said, pulling him into the house. "What do you think? Isn't it wonderful?"
Throughout the house there were shadows cast from the objects hanging from the ceiling. There were so many they looked like Christmas decorations.
"You've got to be kidding me. You're not really serious are you?" he said, stepping back.
"Oh, I'm serious," I said, barely glancing at him and locking the door behind us. "I'm deadly serious."
"It's awfully dark. Can't we turn a light on?" he asked, walking to the wall while trying to find a light switch.
"No need for that." I walked over to him and put my arms around his waist. I knew I had to distract him long enough to get him into the bedroom. Once he was there, there was no turning back. "You don't really need to see, do you?"
"Guess not," he said, leaning in for a kiss.
'Just a little longer,' I thought, trying not to show my disgust.
I led him to the bedroom, removing pieces of his clothes as we went. Once inside, I pushed him back on the bed. The headboard and footboard were made of custom designed metal.
"You don't mind being tied up by little ol' me do you?" Batting my eyes, I climbed onto the bed and attached each of his wrists to the handcuffs that were tucked down near the mattress.
"A little fox, eh?" he replied, a smile playing on his lips. "Do I have to be all... 'oh don't hurt me,' and things like that?"
"Yes, that would do nicely," I said, returning his smile. "Now, I just have to go and get a few things. I don't want you going anywhere while I'm gone. Can you be a good boy? Just nod yes."
He nodded, and I left the room. Returning a few minutes later, I enjoyed the change in his face when I walked in the room. His eyes, which mere moments before held a look of intense desire, now held a look of fear.
I watched excitedly as his whole body became tense. My whole body was tingling. I was going to enjoy this.
"W-what the hell do you think you're doing?" he screamed, trying to pull the handcuffs from the headboard.
"Now, now. There's no point in straining yourself. Those are police issue. They'll do nothing but break your wrists if you keep doing that." Walking over and turning the stereo on, I let the music fill the room, before returning to the bed.
I studied him closely as he began screaming. This didn't phase me any. A long time ago I had soundproofed the whole house. I couldn't do what I love, without taking care of that in the first place.
"Yell, scream, beg, or whine... none of it will matter." I smiled. "No one will hear you."
"Why are you doing this?" he asked, his body beading with sweat.
"A girl's gotta eat," I said, shrugging. Pulling the power cord, my saw came to life. Humming to myself, I slipped on my gloves and safety glasses. I didn't want to take the chance of cutting myself or getting anything in my eyes. That would have been bad.
"Please," he begged.
I couldn't hear him over the saw but I was able to see his lips move. I felt a pang of something I hadn't felt before. Brushing it aside, I slid the saw across his ankle. Back and forth I went until it had been completely severed. I continued slicing up his leg. The meatier parts reminded me of when I was younger and my mother carved the turkey. I must have been about six. It slid through like softened butter. The thigh muscles cut the same way.
Placing the pieces on the metallic tray near the bed, I smiled up at him. He had passed out, but to me, he looked like he was sleeping peacefully.
"I guess this wasn't what he had in mind when I suggested he come back to my place for a quickie," I laughed.
The only part that I wouldn't be able to recycle was his head. That was always the most difficult to dispose of. The skull pieces had a tendency to fly around the room when my blade hit them. I didn't have much choice though. I continued until everything was done.
It took hours, and I was physically exhausted. I still had to clean up my room and put away my fresh meat. De-boning it was my favourite part. That was when I was truly able to show my talent.
Wrapping up the meat, I brought it to the freezer and carefully packed it in. I didn't want it to spoil while I was cleaning. After bleaching the walls, changing the sheets, and going meticulously over the room until I was satisfied, I set about cleaning my saw. That was my baby. She helped me get what I want, that made me happy.
As I checked the room one last time, it reminded me I forgotten my trophy, that one last thing on the list. I had to add to my 'decorations.' Picking it up, I headed to the living room and attached a decorative string. When I flicked the light switch on illuminating the room, I grabbed a chair, and climbed up, putting one of my plant hooks through it. Finally satisfied, I got down and examined the room.
The least meaty part of the body was the fingers and toes, I discovered, and they were pretty ugly. Smiling happily, I saw all my special treasures. After my first 'gentleman caller,' I wanted to do something a little different. Some people were attracted to jewellery, others wanted more meaningful items. I stuck with something that would only enhance the beauty of my home... their eyes.
I sat on my couch and watched as some of the eyes swung in the breeze from an open window. I stretched out and relaxed, listening to the light patters of the various eyes as they collided in a wonderful orchestra.
"Ah," I said contentedly. "there's one last thing on the list , a nice glass of red wine, it goes so very well with red meat..,."
User Reviews
Submitted by beat_raven (user info) at 2007-11-23 13:45:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Totem/153682/
For a contest, even. tsk tsk
Submitted by ColchesterDr (user info) at 2007-10-07 12:29:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This was just okay.
The picture didn't go with the story.
Submitted by pshuu (user info) at 2007-10-07 12:22:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Interesting.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-10-05 15:46:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I mean, it was well-written, better than most in fact, but there just wasn't anything new.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-10-05 15:45:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, but this has been done to death on uber. There are proabbly 100 similar fiction posts like it.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-05 09:03:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-03 15:37:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-03 09:52:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:23:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This reminds me of a Tales from the Darkside episode or a Tales from the Crypt episode.
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D'jever hear of Belle Guiness? She and your main character would get along.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-03 15:11:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This feels like it started in the middle.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-03 09:52:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:23:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This reminds me of a Tales from the Darkside episode or a Tales from the Crypt episode.
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-10-03 08:55:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-10-03 08:21:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Predictable but not bad. Personally, I would have ditched the saw and used a knife to properly cut the primal and subprimal cuts. I mean if she's done it before she should have done it right. It would have drawn out the death, and created a feeling of far more evil intent in an action that she believed to be "normal". Especially since she was so personal in the very beginning. A mind like that would enjoy taking the extra time to get it right.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-03 07:36:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking cool. Would have liked more torture though.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-03 04:48:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
MEAT!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-03 04:22:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Better than i could do. But disappointing.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-03 04:11:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:09:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It sorta stopped being scary once I knew he was being chopped up. I think you let the suspense die too soon.
It's almost like sex, in that the longer it takes to reach the climax, the better the climax is.
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:25:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad, but I agree with someone below, it lost that "bite" when she began to carve. A little more draw out, a little longer dance, this would have gone +2.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:19:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF?
What you do to my picture?
It's SUPPOSED to say steak.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-02 23:42:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-10-02 21:04:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Human is considered white meat.
Long Pig
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-02 20:29:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-02 20:29:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:23:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This reminds me of a Tales from the Darkside episode or a Tales from the Crypt episode.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:09:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It sorta stopped being scary once I knew he was being chopped up. I think you let the suspense die too soon.
It's almost like sex, in that the longer it takes to reach the climax, the better the climax is.
All the same, good read, and I'm +2ing every Grueber post, except for that one by Baron Assmuncher, because that guy just isn't entertaining.
Also he gobbles donkey cock.
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2007-10-02 18:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Reminds me of that episode of I Lov...
...oh, never mind.
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-10-02 18:13:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
She should have put plastic wrap all over the room like Dexter. I would have rated this higher if it wasn't fantastically predictable.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:56:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm your number one fan
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-10-02 17:50:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Reminds me of that episode of I Love Lucy.