Tarnished Silver - Grueberfest 2007 (1069 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.93 on 70 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Forensic (they made me this way) Girl (View user info) at 2007-10-02 18:51:34 EDT
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112121
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Nathan spooned up behind Janice and purred in her ear. "It's 4:30 am, sexy. Time to get up."
"Mmm? Nathan, I thought you said 5:00 last night." Janice replied as she rolled over to face him.
"I did. You know us men and our morning woods though. I thought maybe we'd have some fun beforehand." Nathan said as he nuzzled her neck.
"I knew it. I've married an animal." She said giggling as they began their lovemaking.
Nathan and Janice had only been married a few months and were still intoxicated with newlywed passion. They had a long engagement but getting married seemed to renew the both of them. It certainly did for Nathan; it turned him into a nester.
Nathan had inherited their house from an elderly great aunt. He thought briefly about selling it but decided to fix up the old Victorian and turn it into their dream home. Early on he decided to use as much of the original woodwork and fixtures as he could. What had to be replaced would be replaced with either restored antiques, or at least faux antiques. Every weekend for the past several months, starting even before the wedding, they worked on one renovation project or another. For the past several weeks however, they had been redoing the main bath. After plumbing updates and structural repairs, they had meticulously laid a traditional black and white, small ceramic tiled floor. Janice had wanted a cobalt blue and white floor, but Nathan convinced her that black and white was the way to go, especially because of the tub he wanted to install. It was this tub which was the reason Nathan awoke them before dawn on a Saturday.
Friday afternoons, Nathan would drive through the city's market district which was called "The West Bottoms" because on Friday afternoons, various West Bottom merchants would start unloading their wares for the following morning. He would cruise through and look to see if he saw anything that he wanted. The previous day Nathan spied one of the antique dealers unload a beautiful ornate brass clawed-foot bathtub and knew he had to have it for the main bathroom. The trick to finding treasures instead of junk was to get there early, before the merchants even opened for business. You had to be right there at 6:00 am, otherwise someone else might snag your prize.
Janice shivered in the early morning chill and she blew on her coffee and waited with Nathan in front of the antique shop 'Yesteryear.' Her husband had his face pressed up against the glass like a child outside a toy store. He was teasing the woman inside.
"C'mon Helen, I'm dying out here! Five minutes, Helen. Can't you open five minutes early, Helen? It's me, your best customer. C'mon Helen! Heeeeeleeeennnn!"
A stout hipped woman in her fifties waved a feather duster at him and tapped at her watch, teasing back. Nathan clasped his hands together in mock beggary. The woman walked towards the door and unlocked it.
"Come in already and stop making a scene!" Helen laughed as she held the door open for Janice and Nathan who zipped inside. "Now, what will it be today?"
Nathan ran over to the clawed-foot tub and ran a hand over it. "This beauty right here! It's perfect. I just finished renovating the main bathroom and all it needs is a tub. This tub."
"You certainly are fast. We just got this in last night. Jack? Nathan's here and he's brought his wife! He wants the tub! Jack!" Helen shouted towards the back of the store. A heavy, ruddy man emerged from the storeroom and walked towards them, floor squeaking under his weight.
"Oh Nathan!" Helen chuckled. Nathan had lain down in the tub and was pantomiming scrubbing his back, clowning a bit for Helen and Jack. Janice just laughed, Nathan was always kidding around. Anything for a laugh.
"Mrs." Jack said as he shook Janice's hand. "A fine one you married. I see his eye for quality extends to his choice in women." Janice blushed.
"Alright Nate. Let's get this done. Now, how much trouble do you plan to give me? See, this is a little game we play." Jack explained to Janice. "I quote a price and your husband here accuses me of robbery."
"This old thing?! Not worth more than $1,100 at most."
"And you've lost your mind if you think I'm going to let this go for less than $1,500!"
Nathan paced around the tub, shaking his head. "Hmmmm. I just don't know. I bet I could find it cheaper over at Black Flag Antiques."
"Well, if that's how you feel. I'm going to call up this man who was looking at it last night when we were loading it in. Said he'd be back today. Told me he'd pay whatever I asked."
"Fine, $1,500 it is. I don't know how you sleep at night, Jack."
"I sleep very well. And this is what your hubby considers fun." Jack said to Janice. "I'll have the boys deliver it today. They know your address by heart by now." Jack slapped a sold sign on the tub and walked back to the storeroom to record the transaction and to add the delivery to his sons' itinerary.
Nathan met Helen at the register and began to count out cash. He knew that they preferred cash transactions so he always made sure he had plenty on him whenever he visited their store. As Helen recounted, Nathan spied a large dirty box to the side of the register's counter. "What's in there?"
"The boys and Jack brought it back from an estate sale. I haven't really gone through it yet. Help yourself." Helen said as she began to write out a receipt.
Nathan dug through the box and pulled out a large silver picture frame with an old daguerreotype portrait inside it. He whistled to himself and then handed it to Janice. "Wow! Feel that!"
"It's really heavy." Janice said as she looked it over.
"I know! I think that's solid silver. Hey Helen, I'd like this too. How much?"
"Oh yes, that's a nice one. I ought to keep that for myself. That's a lot of silver. I'm sure I could sell it for a couple hundred." Nathan began to fish in his wallet, worried that he might not have what she wanted for it.
"Bah! I already have too much clutter at home and I've got a soft spot for you anyway. Give me $75 and it's yours."
"You're too good to me, Helen." Nathan said and he handed her one more $100.00 bill.
"You know your antiques, that's for sure." Helen said as she handed him back $25. "I was just telling Jack, if the boys don't want the business when we retire, we should sell the business to you. You know the good from the junk. You would do well in the antiques business."
When Nathan and Janice arrived back home, Nathan had placed the tarnished silver framed picture on a table. Some silver cleaner and elbow grease would have it looking new. At first he thought they would replace the portrait with one of theirs but the harsh looking couple in the daguerreotype was not without unique charm. An elderly man and woman sat side by side. The woman's dark grey hair was pulled back into a bun and her head was bowed and her eyes were not looking at the camera. The man, however, glared out at them from the past. His eyes looked angry and his mouth was pursed in a perpetual frown. His hands were fists and each one sat on a knee. He looked as though he wanted to strike you.
"Sheesh Dude, lighten up!" Nathan said. "What shall we name them, hon?"
"I don't know. I say let's get rid of them. I don't want that old man glaring at us all the time."
"No, I like them. Let's keep them as a conversation piece. I'm going to call them Hezekiah and Ruth. I'll polish their frame later."
A few hours before dusk, Jack and Helen's grown sons delivered their new/old bathtub. Nathan was right as usual, Janice thought as Nathan began hooking it up to the plumbing. That tub went perfect in the bathroom.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Janice tripped over Nathan's shoes as she walked in the front door. Disgusted, she kicked them off into a corner. She had repeatedly asked him to not leave his shoes in front of the door but he never stopped the habit. She yanked off her jacket and hung it up on a wrought iron coat tree, another of Nathan's 'finds.' She walked into their kitchen with a big paper bag of Styrofoam containers. After leaving work she stopped at Boulevard Bread Company and picked up dinner. The daily special today was a soup and sandwich platter and she decided she would do that for dinner instead of the spaghetti she had planned to fix. Nathan had said he wanted to try the food from there and she just didn't feel like cooking tonight.
"Dammit!" Nathan shouted from another room. Janice grabbed some soup spoons from a drawer and set them out. Nathan stomped into the kitchen.
"I just can't get that new closet door to hang right." Nathan complained. He looked at the food. "What the hell is that?"
"I stopped and got us dinner from that new place, Boulevard Bread. I got you a roast beef and cheddar Panini and some vegetable soup."
"Christ, Jan. Don't you ever cook anymore?!" Nathan snapped as he grabbed the Styrofoam container and a spoon and stomped off to the TV. Shocked and angry, Janice chased after him.
"What are you talking about?! You're the one who said they wanted to try takeout from there. What's your problem today?!"
"My problem is I'm working my ass off, trying to renovate this house for us, so the least you can do is help me by keeping the place clean and maybe fixing a meal once or twice." Nathan said without even looking at her. He was flipping through the channels with the remote.
"I cook all the time! And what do you mean by 'keeping the place clean?!' I just dusted and swept last night!" Janice was becoming very angry. What the hell was his problem?! He was acting like a real asshole today. He wasn't normally like that.
"Oh really? That must be why there is a layer of dust everywhere then. Yeah, you're on top of your game alright." Nathan's words dripped venom. Hurt and furious, Janice stomped off to the bedroom to change into her jogging gear. She'd take a run and calm down before hashing it out with him. Jerk. On her way to the bedroom, she ran a finger over the hallway table where Nathan had set 'Hezekiah and Ruth's' picture. Astonished she noticed her fingertip was indeed dusty. Oddly though, although Nathan hadn't yet got around to polishing up the silver frame, it appeared cleaner than it was when they first brought it home. Janice grimaced at it. Creepy old man, she thought.
Janice steered clear of Nathan for the rest of the evening. She had her jog, she ate her dinner while she did some work at the computer, then she took a shower and headed to bed. As she finished a chapter in a book she was reading, Nathan slipped into bed with her. He leaned over and kissed her.
"I'm sorry for snapping. I was frustrated with that closet door and I guess I just took it out on you."
"It's alright. I just noticed all the dust. I could have sworn I dusted everything last night. I'll do it again first thing when I get home tomorrow."
Even though their apologies to one another were genuine, afterwards their nightly lovemaking just wasn't the same.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Janice was in a foul mood. She had been cleaning all day and nothing was looking any better. The house was really looking dingy and dirty. There was dust everywhere, and the walls had what appeared to be soot all over them. She couldn't figure it out. She stood underneath a vent and stared up at it. That must be where all the dust is coming from. She and Nathan had put off having the vents cleaned. They thought they would finish with the renovations and then have it done afterwards. Now it looked like they didn't have that option. She'd have Nathan set something up.
"I give up." Janice said as she threw her dust rag on the floor. She huffed off to the kitchen to get some iced tea and then stomped off to the bedroom to change clothes. Her sweat pants and shirt were filthy after trying to clean the house.
As she stripped out of her clothes, she made a sudden decision to have a nice long bath in the big claw-foot tub. The tub was very large and she could stretch out with a bath pillow behind her head. Perfect for reading and relaxing in a tub full of hot water and suds. She walked past the hallway table with Hezekiah and Ruth's picture on it. The previously badly tarnished silver frame was shiny and reflected the light. Nathan must have polished it up, she thought. Hezekiah glared at her with malice.
"If it was up to me, you old bastard, I would have burned you in the fireplace. What do you think about that?" Janice said to the picture.
Janice entered the main bathroom and selected some bubble bath. As she went to start the water, she noticed a black layer of soot everywhere. Inside the tub, all over the floor, and all over the jar of bubble bath in her hand.
"FUCK!" she screamed and threw the container of bubble bath into the tub and stormed off to the master bedroom's bathroom and took a shower instead.
She watched TV absentmindedly while she waited for Nathan to get home. He had to work a few hours this weekend at his office. It was getting late and he still wasn't home and it was really making her angry. She was angry that the house was filthy, she was angry at the constant renovation, she was angry at everything. Where the hell was he?!
She had begun to doze as it became dusk. The slamming of Nathan's car door woke her up. Finally!
She met him at the door. He brushed past her without so much as a hello or a kiss.
"Nice to see you, too." Janice sarcastically called after him.
"Jan, I'm really not in the mood right now so if you wouldn't mind, shove whatever it is UP YOUR ASS!"
It was on.
"YOU ASSHOLE! FUCK YOU!" Jan screamed.
"I see the place is a fucking pig's sty as usual. What a surprise!" Nathan retorted from the other room.
"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU SHOULD HAVE HAD THE DUCTS CLEANED! YOU'VE BEEN BLAMING ME ALL THIS TIME FOR THE HOUSE BEING DIRTY AND IT'S BECAUSE OF THAT! YOU OWE ME AN APOLOGY!"
"Ok. I'm sorry that you can't make one decision for yourself, Jan. I'm sorry you can't open the phone book and get the cleaners to come out, Jan. I'M SORRY YOU'RE HELPLESS, JAN!"
Later that night, instead of getting into bed with her, Nathan walked into the master bedroom, took his pillow and a blanket, and walked out of the bedroom towards the guest bedroom without speaking one word to his wife. The tears in Jan's eye were from anger.
Hezekiah and Ruth's picture gleamed, shiny and clean, in the dark on the hallway table.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Nathan ripped the phone out of the wall jack and smashed the phone on the floor, kicking up a puff of soot. Jan had left a note for him telling him that the earliest the duct cleaners could come out would be next week. He didn't think they could wait that long. He had tried to call himself, but they told him the same thing. "We're really sorry, sir, but we're all booked up until next Wednesday. We'll give you 5% off for the inconvenience. See you next week."
Nathan's brain felt like a hand was squeezing it. His heart was beating hard inside his chest. He was so angry that he wanted to put his fist through a wall. Look at this place, he thought. Filthy, dusty, dirty, and torn up from the various remodeling projects. Janice stopped even trying to keep things clean. She was turning into a lazy bitch. Yeah, that's what women do once they get that ring around their finger. He hated her suddenly. It also made him angry that she made his love for her disappear. He was very much in love with her only a few weeks ago. He would have done anything for her. Now because she had turned into such a hateful sloth, he couldn't stand the sight of her. He walked into their bedroom to grab some clean clothes. Both of them found themselves having to change their clothes at least once a day.
Nathan had pretty much moved into the guest bedroom permanently. As he passed by the hallway table, he suddenly stopped and looked at Hezekiah and Ruth's picture. The silver frame looked brand new. Stupid bitch won't clean the house but she'll polish this up, he thought. Nathan stood and studied the picture. Who were these people? What were their real names? Why take such a horrible picture? Hezekiah's eyes drilled into his skull, almost as if he would kill Nathan if he could only get out of this picture. Nathan could not take his eyes off of Hezekiah's.
Without explanation, Nathan came to understand that Hezekiah and Ruth had poisoned him and Janice. They had made his and Janice's environment filthy and dirty from their negative energy and hate. Their evil and hostility they had had for each other in life was so strong that it hibernated in their portrait, waiting for someone to come along and absorb it. The more foulness their victims absorbed, the cleaner they became. If they managed to poison their hosts enough, their souls could be freed.
He wouldn't let that happen. Nathan would grab that framed picture and smash it into a hundred pieces and scatter it all over the state. He tried to move his limbs only to find he couldn't. He felt his mind become smaller and smaller until he was no longer Nathan. Only vestigial memories of his former self remained along with a black oozing hate. He knew what would have to follow.
---
"Nathan!" Janice had tried for at least a minute or two to snap Nathan out of a trance. She had found him standing in the hallway, staring at the silver framed picture. He gripped a change of clothes in one hand and stood completely still and unblinking. She finally grabbed his shoulders and shook him.
"Are you ok? What's wrong?"
Nathan looked at her almost as if he didn't recognize her or where he was at. He looked around the hallway and finally back at her.
"I'm fine. I was just going to go change my clothes. Would you get me an aspirin? I have a bad headache." Nathan's voice sounded distant and mechanical.
Janice turned and headed into the master bedroom to get aspirin from the medicine cabinet in the master bedroom's bathroom when something hard hit the back of her head and she fell to the floor unconscious.
---
Janice's head felt like it would split open from the pain. Her neck was painfully sore and her jaw felt out of place. She blinked her eyes open and tried to move. She screamed from the pain.
"Nathan?!"
As she became fully conscious, she became aware first of the strong odor of gasoline and then of the smoke. Realizing that the house was on fire, she tried to jump up but was unable to do more than roll around because her hands had been tied behind her and her ankles were bound with a length of rope extending from her bound wrists to her bound ankles. The pain grew worse from the movement.
"NATHAN!"
Nathan's face appeared over her but it wasn't him. His eyes were dead and emotionless. He tilted his head and looked at her struggling on the bed. The smoke in the room was growing thicker and the oxygen was getting thinner.
"Nathan, get us out of here! The house is on fire! Nathan?!" Janice pleaded with her husband, her eyes darting around the room looking for something to help her escape. Nathan lowered himself on the bed and embraced his terrified wife. He curled up against her in a hollow imitation of affection.
"This has to be, Jan."
Nathan held her as if he was made from cement. Janice continued to struggle in adrenaline fueled panic but stopped with the horrible realization that someone was standing over the bed watching them.
Hezekiah and Ruth stood on opposite sides of the bed looking down on them. The old man still glared but now seemed satisfied, as if something he had been waiting for had finally happened. Ruth appeared sad and sullen but relieved. She looked at Janice almost in pity. Janice screamed in horror as Hezekiah and Ruth grew transparent and finally vanished.
A loud pop and a creak were the last things she heard as the burning ceiling caved in on her and Nathan, still curled up against her.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Hey Ted! C'mere and look at this!"
Ted climbed out of the Bobcat and walked over to Tom. The city had sent them to clear the rubble of a burned down house. The fire and police department had finished their investigation, declaring not only arson, but a murder/suicide as well. It seemed the male occupant had burned himself and his wife up in a fire. He had doused everything with gasoline and lit a match. He had tied his wife up on the bed too so that she couldn't get away. What little there was of the burned bodies indicated that he had curled up against her to hold her in place when the house caved in around them.
Tom handed Ted a sooty object. Ted grabbed it and wiped a section off with his sleeve. As far as he could tell, it was a solid silver picture frame with a portrait of a couple in it. They must be the former occupants, Tom had decided. No wonder this had happened, the couple in the picture looked like two very unhappy people. They stared out at Tom with unsmiling faces. Easy to imagine a murder/suicide between these two.
"That's solid silver, man!" Tom said. "Imagine what that thing is worth!"
"Yeah well just put it over there in that bin." Ted motioned towards a plastic bin they were putting salvaged objects into. When everything was cleared, it would be sent to the deceased occupants' families. Ted wished coworker would keep to the business at hand instead of pretending he's some kind of treasure hunter. He was always causing them to run late. Ted climbed back onto the Bobcat and began clearing rubble that used to be the living room.
Tom walked towards the bin with the frame in his hands. He paused to look at it one more time before he put it in the bin. With some polish and a little work, he thought, this thing would clean up beautifully.
Glancing behind him to make sure Ted was facing away, Tom hurried over to his car and slipped the picture under the seat.
User Reviews
Submitted by PhillipTheGreat (user info) at 2007-10-07 22:40:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ColchesterDr (user info) at 2007-10-07 13:57:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But +1 is too low.
1.5
Submitted by ColchesterDr (user info) at 2007-10-07 13:07:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I wanted a little more Shining.
Get it? Shining the movie and Tarnished Silver?
Okay, that's lame.
This was good, though. Needs more craziness and gore, maybe.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-10-06 16:37:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
actually re-reading I see it was necessary. Drinking makes comprehension difficult.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-10-06 04:52:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this but I have one small problem right at the beginning...
who the hell says it's 4:30 am? Nobody would ever actually say that. It seems contrived. Other than that I really dug it.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-10-04 21:48:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty damn good.
Submitted by SGRPUSS (user info) at 2007-10-04 12:50:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey, awesome story
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-04 09:59:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-04 09:21:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lung,
Did you want to murder your thesis chair? Or merely torture to insanity?
I still weep for myself when I remember when I was writing my Master's thesis. My favorite professor and mentor was battling cancer and was too ill from the chemo to chair my thesis so I had to go with Dr. P.
She was an ULTRA-militant FEMI-NAZI! She cheated me out of a co-authorship too, the bitch. I worked for one year doing HER research FOR HER with the understanding that she would list me as a co-author. When the time came, the bitch submitted the manuscript to a journal WITH HER NAME ONLY on it.
I wanted to tie her up and use a car battery and jumper cables on her nipples.
Bitch.
-------
Unfortunately, that's all too common a story in academia. My dad, who was a college professor when I was young, always gave credit to his grad students. (He quit to become a Washington bureaucrat. WTF? Pussy makes guys do stupid shit.)
I'm afraid my Chair was and is one of my favorite people on the planet. One of the funniest guys I've ever known. Right up there with d_r. Ostensibly, I'm writing a paper for us for publication, but I've been really bad. Did all the analysis; haven't written a word. It's so hard to get motivated to write in the evening after writing all day and getting paid for it. Eh...whatever...maybe after baseball season...
You're going for your PhD, eh? Good for you.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-10-04 02:08:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
something about this, maybe the way it read, just rubbed me the write way.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-10-03 23:44:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Character development in ubetfiction? What a rarity!
Good stuff here.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-03 19:24:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
(honest rating)
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-10-03 17:40:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Saffron (user info) at 2007-10-03 16:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-10-03 15:37:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God, your good!!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-03 15:34:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very, very good.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-03 15:13:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now THEMS horror writings
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:47:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:38:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The comments keep getting better and better.
Sorry for the interruption.
Carry on.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:32:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Haha depends on how many beers I've had. I'm only human like that.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:31:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
HAHA at Icarus.
I guess you pay more attention to how I rate than you initially divulged.
Yes, Orphelia, I am hot.
CJ might be jealous or something. I have no idea why he likes following me around. maybe he smells that bag of assholes.
And yes, FG, I'll get off your post now and buy a bullet, rent a gun, blah blah, blah.
This was a pretty good story.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:28:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not unless a bag of hammered assholes is attractive to you...
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:25:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
CJ - Fuck TheUniter? Why, is he hot?
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:23:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck the Uniter.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:19:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
spooky
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:17:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
real good.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-10-03 13:05:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:46:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Icarus-
I wrote below in that review to which you responded that I don't know why anyone cares what I think or how I rate.
I wasn't even talking to you. I was responding to TigerLilly, who asked the question in the first place.
You prove my point by feeling the need to jump in. People are very sensitive about ratings, and they often seem to care very much about the ratings they receive.
For someone who claims to have only noticed one review I've ever made and purportedly doesn't care what I think, you made a wonderful analysis of my inner thoughts and motivations.
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I wish *my* thoughts were important enough to justify repetitive line breaks. Seriously, Hemmingway, you're missing my primary motivation here. I don't care about your rating. Give this a -2, +2, 0.333333333. Just sit down and shut up.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:46:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Icarus-
I wrote below in that review to which you responded that I don't know why anyone cares what I think or how I rate.
I wasn't even talking to you. I was responding to TigerLilly, who asked the question in the first place.
You prove my point by feeling the need to jump in. People are very sensitive about ratings, and they often seem to care very much about the ratings they receive.
For someone who claims to have only noticed one review I've ever made and purportedly doesn't care what I think, you made a wonderful analysis of my inner thoughts and motivations.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:19:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:06:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Icarus-
People sometimes bitch about why I rate things, and so I gave an explanation in this case.
It's a +1. What's so bad about that?
Some people leave +2s or -2s without even reading, which I consider childish but it's their right, so big deal.
I see +2s all the time with a comment like "I'll read it later" and -2s with comments like "Didn't read."
At least I read what I rate.
But feel free to cry some more about it, if it makes you feel better.
It's your right.
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Sorry, you've mistaken me for someone who actually cares about what you have to say. This is the first time I've even give one your reviews a second glance, and I can't say that I care about what you think of this, or any other, post. It's the fact that you seem to feel the need to sit here humming and hawing, making vague comments about 'details' and 'not measuring up' while having nothing productive to say, that prompted me to respond with 'no one cares.' I know Ubersite has that affect on people; making them feel like they're celebrity judges and that everyone cares about what they have to say, but believe me, in your case it simply isn't true. Nothing you've said up to this point matters. Get off the stage.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:06:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Icarus-
People sometimes bitch about why I rate things, and so I gave an explanation in this case.
It's a +1. What's so bad about that?
Some people leave +2s or -2s without even reading, which I consider childish but it's their right, so big deal.
I see +2s all the time with a comment like "I'll read it later" and -2s with comments like "Didn't read."
At least I read what I rate.
But feel free to cry some more about it, if it makes you feel better.
It's your right.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:54:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:44:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This is why I usually leave no comment, btw. I really don't think anyone should be all that interested.
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Given that you have nothing to say, I doubt anyone really is.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:44:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
After I read some other entries, I gave this a second read, and decided since this is a competition, it did not quite deserve a +2 in that context.
This was good, but a couple of others were much better.
This had nice detail, and the writer is to be applauded for taking the time to actually develop the story.
But it didn't quite measure up after a second read, so I changed my rating to a +1, which is not bad.
Why anyone cares how I rate or feels the need to question it I don't understand, but I hope this explanation eases your mind.
This is why I usually leave no comment, btw. I really don't think anyone should be all that interested.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:40:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Solid +2. The writing was rock-solid, the details were crisp, the characters were believable, the plot was just whimsical enough to keep things fun, and you didn't feel the need to heap on the gore factor.
Submitted by ArnieGeddon (user info) at 2007-10-03 10:28:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-10-03 09:58:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-03 04:25:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-02 20:24:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
----------------------------------------------------
Huh? Can you explain this logic to me? Are you bipolar or something. First a 0 rating, then a +2...
-------------
it's *art* katie - jesus.
great post enormo-butt.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-03 10:06:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And THAT is how it's done...
Made me shudder. Bonnie, if I start having nightmares about this, I'm-a gonna hunt you down. :p
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2007-10-03 09:58:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-03 04:25:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-02 20:24:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
----------------------------------------------------
Huh? Can you explain this logic to me? Are you bipolar or something. First a 0 rating, then a +2...
Great post!!!!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-03 09:24:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:50:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty formulaic, but cool.
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-10-03 09:06:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
excellent
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-10-03 08:41:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Verrrry nice
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-10-03 08:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very good
Submitted by ArnieGeddon (user info) at 2007-10-03 08:26:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Reeeeeeally good. Long, like your fat-arsed brunch order, but fantastic. Well done fatso, like the 4000 gram steak you had for dinner.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-03 07:57:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-03 04:27:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:05:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:D Kicker of ass, indeed!
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-03 04:25:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-03 03:46:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Reminded me of that Kate Hudson film The Skeleton Key. Well written though.
Submitted by pshuu (user info) at 2007-10-03 03:21:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think it was very brilliant. Good solid writing. Good job!
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-02 23:16:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-02 23:16:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Something about this, maybe the way it opened, just rubbed me the wrong way. It seemed so predictable to me, almost like I had read it somewhere before. I know this is not the case, but it really felt like it to me.
I give this a solid 1.5 because the story is good. I had a hard time getting to the end though.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-10-02 21:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yah that's it bro... get your good one out early...
Fuck if I wanna face ya with this quality of stuff.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-02 20:51:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i don't mind being eliminated by this at all I just hope you keep it up cause this was pretty fucking good. good luck. B
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2007-10-02 20:50:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-10-02 20:49:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Spank me Skeletor.
O yeah,
Spank me good.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-02 20:24:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-10-02 20:08:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Strangefolk - Furnace = smiles
Submitted by vexx (user info) at 2007-10-02 20:04:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B's idea was more interesting but you rocked the execution.
You got my vote.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-02 20:00:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-10-19 21:56:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've enjoyed a lot of your posts, but I never realized you could write fiction like this until this comp. You've impressed the hell out me each time; you have a real talent for this gory shit.
---
It's been a year already? Yours was one of the first names I looked for, hoping you got in before deadline.
This is a wonderful start to G-fest. You could expand this story into Something Bigger, I'd read it.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks everyone! I'm grateful that this contest has given me a mental laxative. I've had a considerable writer's block lately.
Kaelic-yeah it's formulaic. Of course, most everything is.
This is a reverse Portrait of Dorian Grey + The Shining + The Amityville Horror.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:50:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit. you will writefully win this round. Nice work.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:50:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty formulaic, but cool.
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:36:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YES! Gruberfest is on. This is what I am talking about. Fleshed out, nice build up, fantastic payoff! Well written, dialogue flowed. Ah...Halloween is in the air!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:31:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and given the context, that photo is eerie...
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:30:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:29:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh crap. I actually read both entries in this tete-a-tete..
(*&$%(*&]
Ok yours is more polished and should win, but I'm too lazy to go back to Brdn's and lower my rating. Beside from the look of it the general pop. has already taken care of it. If it's close near the end of the vote time, let me know and I'll do the right thing. Sigh.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:23:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
one mo time!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:22:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
again.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:22:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking winner I declare!
This is going to take immense work to beat.
Great fucking read.
"It was on" was a good line!
Did I mention I think this is super-awesome?
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:22:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was fantastic!
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:07:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:05:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:D Kicker of ass, indeed!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:01:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFffffffffffff
I assume. I hate gruberfest. Too gory!
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-10-02 19:01:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment