Pictures at an Exhibition (658 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.28 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by baron von munchausen (View user info) at 2007-10-03 00:40:44 EDT
A stately gentleman, walking purposefully. His feet have a slightly irregular beat pattern, yet in each step the foot is pressed into the ground with a feeling of full intent and afterwards, satisfaction. He is not heavy on his feet, nor light; there is a distinctive grace in his style, with enough weight to express masculinity. He passes the paintings with an appraising glance, until he sees one that arouses his interest, and he pauses.
The Gnome
A stunted, gnarled toy man is presented. There is anger in his eyes as he seemingly pursues an unseen enemy. His crooked, bristling brow droops heavily over his beady eyes, eyes which cross at bizarre angles. His face looks as if it is disfigured; it is an old face, but it is evident that its frozen, horrific glare has existed since early youth. His crooked legs awkwardly bend and push forward, delicately and precariously supporting their bulky and irregular load. In his face and actions, one sees a confusing mélange of that which is terrifying and that which is simply too small to be terrifying. Mysterious, marginally frightening mischief will be all our gnome will ever amount to, despite the aura of twisted fear he pathetically attempts to surround himself with.
The Old Castle
A lonely troubadour wanders outside a majestic castle, throwing his song to the fog that surrounds him. The castle projects an image that maybe at some point in its existence it was glorious to behold, but over time, weathering and erosion had dulled the sharp edges of the once brilliant effect. Adding to this feeling is the weather, the fog and mist that feels only blurry, not mysterious; the rain that wets and tarnishes the shining metal adorning the sentinels; the dreary and melancholy feeling that wanders in the purgatory that dwells between normalcy and intense, defined sorrow. The minstrel sings of the glory that was, that will never again be, of his failed adventures of courtly love. The sound is quickly swallowed by the hungry winds; he sings only for himself. He and the castle appear to be fading right before our eyes.
Ballet of the Unhatched
Scrambling about, chicks that have yet to be fully hatched blindly explore their new world. Bumbling, they crash into one another, fall down, as they try to free themselves of their former homes. Their light, high and yet untried voices make short, sharp squeaks in the silence; their newfound hearing takes the sound in with shock and surprise, prompting more squeaks of their own. Their frantic crash course in the use of their bodies eventually begins to take effect, and the pace slows, the legs, while still unstable, finally finding a shaky rhythm.
The Catacombs of Paris-(With the dead in a dead language)
A trio of men, by the light of a single lantern, examine the tombs of the catacombs of Paris. Their voices echo loudly, then softly, off the walls of the cavernous hall, the acoustics of the dead cave surprising the visitors with every word, warning them that they are not welcome. The light flickers against the numerous skulls set in the wall, creating eerie effects of vitality on the dead, grinning faces. The men step quickly, afraid, but not willing to admit their fear. The dull light of the lantern does not provide enough protection from the dark corners of the crypt for them to feel safe.
The Hut of the Baba-Yaga
A small hut springs forward out of the wall on a pair of skinny chicken's legs, dancing lightly and pricking the ground with sharp claws; the hut is terrifying to behold, with a keyhole replaced by an ancient, bloody mouth full of a motley arrangement of sharpened teeth, pulled from the young victims of the Baba-Yaga. It is surrounded by a fence made of human bones, each bone mounted with a clean, white skull. The mysterious and cruel hag herself rides through the air alongside her hut in her magical mortar, using the pestle as a rudder to steer herself through the air. Inside the hut dwell her invisible servants; she will kill you if you ask her about them. The terrifying hut moves closer and closer to you; the Baba-Yaga has never failed to catch her prey. Anxiety builds as your terrifying doom approaches you, until you know it is over when you hear her cackling in your ear.
The Great Gate of Kiev
A massive and majestic arching gateway opens right in front of you, in full daylight and glory. Gold, shining in the sun, sends rays of bright radiance into your eyes; you are in absolute awe, to behold this wondrous work of human creation in the flesh, in all its size, in its true scale, its true magnificence sending shockwaves down your spine to the end of each toe. A cloud passes over the sun, and suddenly the mood is dimmed; the gate appears to have shrunk in the reduced light; a slight of sorrow passes over you. When suddenly, the sun is once again dominant, and the great monument is trebly increased in size; the gate is finally revealed in its full splendour, and you are again content.
User Reviews
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-10-03 22:46:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Technically yes, but Ravel never wrote anything all by his ownself that amounted to as much as Pictures-his orchestration is virtuosic, but the material is the material.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-10-03 21:33:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:49:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-02 21:42:56 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're ruining Mussorgsky.
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This dipshit doesn't know what he's talking about.
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you are right. It's the Ravel arrangement thats really any good anyways; the Mussorgsky piano score is kinda lame.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-03 16:40:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
perhaps i just read this in the wrong frame of mind then.. I was reading it as though it should be some sort of story in and of itself. I am not familiar with the musical piece and so perhaps without that context i really can't get on it. the writing itself was not horrible, don't think I've minused it yet I just couldn't dig it as a piece that entertained me. ultimately uber as a venue may be hard on you if you can't turn it into a narrative of some sorts or something truly entertaining though it seems you didn't fare too horribly with this.
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-10-03 15:44:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Brdn: I much appreciate your criticism. I'm a current music major and although I am a performance student I have been composing since before I was a teenager; writing prose is a new enterprise for me, based on how much and how often I enjoy literature. I made an attempt to apply my knowledge of music to some prose writing to see how it would turn out; this wasn't exactly the right way to go about it...if I make similar attempts at such fusion in the future, they will be from a different angle and better-I came here to practice/improve my writing, so again, your criticism is appreciated.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-10-03 12:49:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-02 21:42:56 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're ruining Mussorgsky.
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This dipshit doesn't know what he's talking about.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:43:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i think we may have to agree to disagree on the first point. I will however say that while music can enhance a story, a story can be powerful enough to move you just as much and sometimes more. I say that because music will never challenge your beliefs or opinion or really make you think whereas the written word can cause you to feel emotion, cause you to think, and can challenge you to consider a viewpoint you might not have or would not have considered before. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge music lover. I have played many instruments and two of the best years in my life were spent playing in a ska band, I don't disagree that music is powerful. it inspired you to take the time to try writing this didn't it?
As to knowing your audience, i understand where you're coming from but at the same time you're only addressing one small part of the point i was making. You immediately dismissed any of your audience who is unfamiliar with he musical piece. It's all in your atitude I guess. You posted this knowing it would be reviewed and rated by people who might not be familiar with it. Obviously this music has moved you in some way, at least enough for you to see potential in providing a sidecar of story, so why not teach others of the music? provide a context? instead you essentially said " if you are unfamiliar with the music you can fuck right off" that statement tells me that you ARE aware of your audience and instead of being confident that what you've written can carry itself or providing a context to your audience you'd almost rather they just not even spend the time to read t if they haven't heard the piece that inspired you to write this.
eh whatever.... the "story" itself did nothing for me and I was merely responding to your defense of said writing
and i may just be in an argumentative mood because I drank lots of beers after my soccer game last night and i fucked up my hip so I'm uncomfortable and, well, your attitude rubbed me wrong.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:40:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hello Sico.
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:19:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And Brdn: I have to wholly disagree with you on the front of written words being able to recreate the effect of music. They both can conjure up feelings and sensations in the listener/reader, but they appeal to almost entirely different senses. When music is applied to a program, such as in this case, it is used to provide another sensual experience to accompany what you know to be happening, not to create a story-if you listened to the first movement with no prior knowledge of the program, you would not think "Oh, that's a twisted, fucked-up gnome." But once you know what the piece is describing, the music gives infinite layers of texture and colour to help enhance the feeling occurring in your mind. Also: fuck knowing my audience. If everyone in the world who wrote anything was trying to pander to the needs of whoever was going to see it, there would never be any originality or innovation. Not that I'm claiming that this work is a brilliantly original masterpiece, but that I don't think it's fair to criticize me for doing something a smaller group of people would appreciate and enjoy.
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:16:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
There are zero pictures here.
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-10-03 11:10:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-10-03 09:23:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
somehow you've recreated in words what my middle school orchestra performed all those years ago.
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My high school band put in a hideous effort on the final two movements. It was scarring. I can certainly understand your sentiment.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-10-03 10:47:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Bloody ambitious post, certainly not Uberesque.....although it is shit, so I guess it fits in quite well afterall.
+1 for trying, -2 for failing.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-03 10:23:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this was MEH at best....
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Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-10-03 01:25:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If I wanted to give the impression of an orchestra, I could post "go listen to this piece." The idea was to approach the same material from a different medium. Obviously no one could approach the feeling created by the music using mere words; that was not my intention.
WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG, WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG, YOU'RE WRONG, YOU'RE WRONG, YOU'RE WRONG
What i'm trying to say is that words can be musical in and of themselves and if done correctly can certainly carry the power that music carries. Music requires less effort on the part of the consumer but that extra effort put forth to read a piece wants to be rewarded and this did not do it.
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Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:41:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you have never heard or heard of this musical work, it's not my fault that you don't understand.
way to immediately dismiss your audience right out of the gate. And yes, yes it IS your fault. It's your fault for not knowing your audience, It's your fault for not providing a context, it's your fault for not illustrating this well enough to carry the piece by itself without leaning on the original musical work.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-03 09:54:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-10-03 09:23:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
somehow you've recreated in words what my middle school orchestra performed all those years ago.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-10-03 06:00:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
How old are you?
note: this should not be in anyway construed as any sort of come on...
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-03 04:49:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Gnomes
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-03 04:47:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good visual imagery, but steak has several valid points.
This wasn't bad, but you failed to contribute something substantial to the work you were attempting to pay homage to.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-03 04:19:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by pshuu (user info) at 2007-10-03 01:54:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like your interpretation of the music.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-10-03 01:40:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For use of my bandname: The Gnome
I couldn't read past that.
I didn't read this post.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-03 01:32:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
See, your logic is flawed. You are supposed to write well enough to have your reader imagine what is being read. If you're good enough at it, you're able to easily encompass every sense available. The only thing you don't have full control over is tempo, and you can usually steer it in the right direction too.
You didn't approach it right.
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-10-03 01:25:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If I wanted to give the impression of an orchestra, I could post "go listen to this piece." The idea was to approach the same material from a different medium. Obviously no one could approach the feeling created by the music using mere words; that was not my intention.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-03 01:10:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:53:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
who? me or that faggot steak?
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Of course not you. NOBODY values your opinion.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-03 01:06:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A solid reason for my being the first or second person to rate this is that you tend to post these around the same time, every time.
I just so happen to be awake during this time, because I prefer the later hours, and since I despise television, and detest people, I spend a good portion of my time reading, usually online.
As to why this particular post deserves the lowest possible score, it was dull in comparison to Mussorgsky's actual piece. It did not evoke anything close to the thought or feeling that an orchestra has.
And the other side to my thought process.
Of course I'm an ass. My rating for this was actually determined by me picturing this as a ball of clay, against some old guy playing the fiddle. The crazy old guy totally rocked the face off your gay ass ball of clay. -2 die.
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:57:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not you.
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:53:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
who? me or that faggot steak?
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:50:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would love it if on maybe one of my posts you took the time to come up with a reason for being consistently the first or second person to -2 it. I'm not saying that you're and ass and you're wrong; I'm wondering why you think this really deserves a very low negative rating. I'm suggesting, however, that there is a possibility that there is little to no reasoning behind your ratings; then you would be an ass. Please prove me wrong.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:44:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You'd be suprised at what advanced thought can do.
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:43:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You must have speedy reading powers.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:42:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're ruining Mussorgsky.
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:42:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i didn't see any picute.srs
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-10-03 00:41:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you have never heard or heard of this musical work, it's not my fault that you don't understand.