GRUEBERFEST '07- Don't Move, Don't Breathe (421 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.6 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by whiskeyjack (View user info) at 2007-10-04 04:39:03 EDT
"Hey!" her smile adds a warmth to the words I can't helping smiling back at.
"Hello. You looking amazing" Her blushing cheeks keeps me smiling.
I wasn't flattering her. I detest lies, and avoid them unless for survival; not all things are meant to be told after all. She did look amazing. 5'11" 125 lb, in a silky, long red dress that beautifully showed off her flat stomach, long dancer legs, and complimented her autumn brown hair. Her emerald eyes and full lips added to her delicate face and frame. It was all almost enough to make a person forget that under that clingy, sexy dress was a fucking cock.
"You don't look too bad yourself. Hehehe"
"Ha, you're too kind. Well...shall we?"
She doesn't answer, just takes my arm and we walk into the restaurant. I feel her hand tense on my arm as we approach the cute, bubbly, blonde, dead eyed, hostess. She hasn't really been out in public other than a few night clubs so I understand. Of course it doesn't help much the she hides a look of discomfort a bit too slow before she put on the same empty smile you see on most the people you pass everyday. I decide I'd better take charge quick, and interrupt her before she can spout out some rehearsed greeting.
"Evening. Reservation for two under Shaw please."
"...ah, yeah. Follow me please." A nod of the head sends her on her way. Nice ass.
She's still gripping my arm tight as we wind our way through the numerous tables and chairs. It tightens even more when we squeeze by an obese man with enough on his plate to feed a poor family. I only caught "king faggot" out of his mumbling. I wonder how'd he take it if I reminded him gluttony was a sin? But no matter cause we've made it to our table and now I'm sitting across from this beautiful creature before me. I want to just look at her for eternity. See her great beauty, and her flaw. Its the flaws that make the individual isn't it? I'm about to assure her how good she looks again when she starts talking before I can.
"Wow, this place is really nice. I'm so glad you called me for another date. I had a great time last night. You're just so easy to talk, and I'm just glad you called back. Hahaha." There's a nervousness in her laughter. I can tell she's still not used to going on dates, at least not as a she.
"Ha, yeah I like this place. Good Italian. And no thank you for coming to meet me again. I had a wonderful time going for drinks last time. I enjoy your company a great deal Samantha." A soft tone, and a equally soft smile placate her nerves. She smiles back but doesn't meet my eyes. That's alright though, most people can't.
Our waiter arrives and I order a bottle of wine. After taking our dinner orders he promptly turns and leaves. Nice ass. I turn back to my date. I think its her eyes. Yes, her eyes are my favourite thing about her. I wonder if I'd like her eyes as much if she was dressed in nice button up shirt and dress pants like me? Would I still see Samantha if she dressed as a he? As Sam? But right now I know I like her eyes and the hint of a smile teasing her inviting lips.
We make polite chit chat. Work, favourites, hobbies, never her past, and little about me. All very polite, pleasant, and nice. She's very talkative, but I enjoy listening and answering her questions. When our food and drink arrive we both only much pick at our food at first, still talking. I made a good choice on the wine as it goes quick, and with it go some of the politeness in our conversation. Now we're having fun. Eating off each other's plate, drinking more, teasing, laughing.
There's also looks going back and forth now. A flicker of the eyelash her, and a half-hidden smirk there. Her eyes are telling me something that's not polite at all. Those eyes again. I can't look away from those eyes. Just who's are they? That's why I've asked her out again isn't it? To find out. Are they Samantha's? Or am is it Sam giving me those fuck-me looks? I hear people say eyes don't lie. Eyes are the windows into the soul. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But what about these emerald eyes? What does IT see when it looks in a mirror? A woman or a lie in a pretty dress. I detest lies.
Back to the real world. The waiter's brought the check and Samantha looks a little unsure of herself. Was I staring long? Too many fucking questions in my head, and too much wine make a dull boy. I slip a credit card and the waiter leaves.
"I'm sorry. I got distracted. By the way you have pretty green eyes." A quick look down, a blush and we're back to smiling and laughing.
We talk more on the cab ride to my house, only this time there's another subtle conversation taking place with our hands. Testing the waters as they say. She asks more questions about my past and about myself. I answer the past ones simply, but its the ones about myself I have trouble with. I've never been that sure really. To define myself has always been my Achilles heel. I'm just not too sure. It doesn't take much to distract her. A deep look into those damn eyes of her's and a kiss and she stops asking questions. Even as we kiss in my apartment doorway my eyes are open and looking at her closed emerald eyes. I can't help it and it happens again. Who's eyes do you fucking belong to? Am I kissing a Samantha or a Sam? Why can't I tell? Why did she keep asking about me?
We've made it in the living room and our hands and lips are everywhere. She gasps when I kiss her neck and nuzzle her ear. I reach around and place my hand on her back and pull her close. I look into those fucking mysterious eyes of her's. She's so beautiful. I want to just look at her for eternity. See her great beauty, and her flaw.
Something's different now,she looks troubled again. No, not troubled, she's scared. She's pushing against me and saying something about "holding too tight". I don't really hear it anymore. All I want is to be able to study her. Find out the answer in her eyes. She's moving too much. I mumble her to calm down, too stop moving and breathing so much. I can't see her eyes even she keeps struggling and panting. "Don't move, don't breathe." I can see the fear in her eyes. Those fucking God damn lying eyes!
She gasps as the knife slips between her ribs and into her heart. She stopped struggling. She isn't moving or breathing anymore. I watch the light leave those fucking emerald eyes. Maybe now I'll find the answer. Who she really is. Will that finally help me find who I really am? The last six didn't much help.
User Reviews
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-07 13:19:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And that eye is mesmerizing.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-07 13:19:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good story, yes.
Submitted by ColchesterDr (user info) at 2007-10-07 12:28:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh.
What did the dick gave to do with anything?
Worth reading, but could have been a lot better.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-06 11:36:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-10-05 17:54:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was great, typos, dropped words and all. I like the way you told this. The telling made the material more than it was.
Or maybe I'm just partial to chicks mit dicks after being in San Francisco for so long.
Either way, I'll give the full +2 and not nail you on the boo-boos.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-05 16:18:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-10-05 04:44:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-10-04 22:56:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GnarlsBarkley (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
didn't read it, but I love you.
---
the reverse for me, thanks.
(and if you love him so much, why didn't you read it?)
**********************
It's mostly a physical love.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-10-04 22:56:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GnarlsBarkley (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
didn't read it, but I love you.
---
the reverse for me, thanks.
(and if you love him so much, why didn't you read it?)
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-04 18:43:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by GnarlsBarkley (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
didn't read it, but I love you.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-04 13:59:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
redrum
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-04 12:36:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Serial killers don't make good dates.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-04 10:35:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Definitely one of the least predictable storylines yet out of all the entries.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-04 08:53:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Few grammatical/spelling errors, but otherwise great!
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-04 04:52:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-04 04:52:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1.5 from me.
The reason being, you had the this really interesting and enjoyable middle, but the ending just felt like a half assed attempt. A sort of anti climax.
Very American Psycho too.
Still, good job.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-04 04:49:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Chilling without the gore.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-04 04:44:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack, Jack, WhiskeyJack
Jack, Jack, WhiskeyJack
Super WhiskeyJack!