Fictional Character Competition Entry (629 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.65 on 56 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Brad Gordon Something-or-Other (View user info) at 2007-10-04 15:23:35 EDT
This is a worthy competition deserving an equally-worthy character.
In truth, there can be only one true answer.
Homer J. Simpson.
Why?
1. He succeeds, despite his intellectual shortcomings and bouts of selfishness, out of sheer and honest desire to make things better for his family. He lives in a universe in which some of us would kill to inhabit, one in which effort and drive wins the day.
2. Deep down, he's a good husband and a good father. Anyone who's either (or both) knows how hard that can be.
3. His capacity for injury sustained through pratfall outsides even those of iconic figures like Wile E. Coyote and Fred Flintstone.
Really, though, the man isn't too bright and his pursuits waver between complete lethargy and get-rich-quick schemes. He shirks responsibility. He's a screw up. We love 'im, though. Why?
Because he's a decent guy. He knows when he fucks up, is genuinely sorry when he does, and tries to fix things as best he can. He's never cheated on his wife, beaten or emotionally abused his kids, or hurt someone for selfish means. He's someone who can go either way on the moral see-saw, so we root for him.
Good for you, Homer. *salutes*
User Reviews
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2007-12-16 19:25:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by beat_raven (user info) at 2007-12-16 19:23:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
beat_ravowned
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-12-16 19:14:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I only apply one rule to myself:
"I am better than everyone else, at everything, ever."
You can fuck right off now.
Submitted by beat_raven (user info) at 2007-12-16 19:09:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-10-04 18:10:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Orphelia,
Sorry, I have a personal rule that I don't respond to anyone over the internet that uses improper grammar or spelling. You just tripped that rule, so it looks like I don't need to acknowledge anything you say from now on.
-------
"...anyone over the internet *WHO* uses improper grammar or spelling."
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-12-16 19:09:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Genko, rather.
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-12-16 19:08:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Y HALO THAR beat raven, TJ or rockdock.
You suck.
Submitted by beat_raven (user info) at 2007-12-16 19:01:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
douche
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-05 11:48:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ooooh Captain Thorns!
You put nature of the 'best' and not nature of the 'beast'. Didn't you read this guys views on spelling and grammer? That is it, from now on he will completely ignore all your reviews on his posts!
There there, don't cry. Come and stand in the naughty corner with me.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-10-05 09:01:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh good it was already up there
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-10-05 08:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
not that i want to bring this to most recently reviewd, but:
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:10:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:03:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
...aaand you continue to tweak the fuck out. You made an error, I felt that your post fit the "I've seen better" criteria very well, and thus I rated it a -1.
----------------
*ahem*
I DO NOT CARE ABOUT THE RATING.
------------------------------
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-10-04 17:00:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you feel compelled to tell everyone that you don't care, all you're accomplishing is proving to us all that you do.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-05 08:49:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:40:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope I am not included in 'the pissy' CT - I am just trying to point out it is no good getting so worked up
--------------------
No, orphelia - mainly when I wrote that I was looking at ConorJS's bitchfest about why he disagreed with soo's reasoning behind nominating Homer.
Everyone on here gets pissy from time to time, though. It's the nature of the best, and I don't think that anyone who is being honest with themselves can deny it. I know I've had my moments.
Que sera, sera.
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-10-05 02:32:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-10-05 07:33:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Know why your first post got a good rating?
You kept your whiny mouth shut.
---
He got a good rating because you got to admit that it was genuinely good.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-04 18:46:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Tom Waits is a god, and I'll hear no ill spoken of him.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-04 18:32:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't fuck TheUniter! He is crap!!!
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-04 18:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck the Uniter.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-04 18:29:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-10-04 18:28:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Quick, call Whine-One-One! This guy needs a waaaahbulance. STAT!
There's the door, pal. Don't let it hit ya where the good lord split ya!
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-10-04 18:10:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Orphelia,
Sorry, I have a personal rule that I don't respond to anyone over the internet that uses improper grammar or spelling. You just tripped that rule, so it looks like I don't need to acknowledge anything you say from now on.
This day is looking up.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-04 18:08:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Your name is Pathetic? Your parents can't have liked you very much as a baby.
I am glad your sticking around.
And sweetpea, I don't think I am better than anyone. And the only good reviews I crave are those of the writers I admire.
It is not too late to stop being a 'tard and all this will be forgotten.
OH, and did it ever occur to you I am just me when I write my reviews. If I were trying to be liked, I wouldn't be doing this, I'd be -2DIE ing you.
That reminds me, thats what you said to me.
Can't you just sit back and enjoy Uber for what it is?
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-10-04 17:59:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just goes to show you:
None of you, not a one, are better than me. You're all just as petty as the people you accuse. You're just as willing to act like children and just as rabid over ratings and opinions. You that say, "Hey, it's just a website, what's the big deal?" are hypocritical beyond all comprehension. If it were just a website to you, and nothing more, you wouldn't have dozens and dozens of posts here, minutes and hours you claim to have spent on something so "frivolous".
I call bullshit. You care. You know you do, and you may be able to pull the wool over some eyes, but not mine. If this meant nothing to you all, you could leave and never come back as so many of you have screamed you would, but you always come crawling back. Because you can't fucking help it. It is more than a website to you all, and to get worked up yourselves and then turn around and tell others not to do so is utter bullshit.
So, you know what? I think I will stick around, after all, if only to continually prove to myself how so many of you are hopelessly addicted to the fleeting moment of self-satisfaction you get when someone you know strokes your ego with a +2. And I'll keep posting what I want. And you'll keep reading it.
Because you can't fucking help it.
Pathetic.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2007-10-04 17:56:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-10-04 17:45:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha, nice job.
All of you just proved my point. You negatively rated this post not on its merit, but on the comments. You rated negatively because of my responses, and because others were rating negatively.
You shitheels can't even waste time on the internet correctly.
_____________
I honestly thought "Meh" when I opened this post and saw that you nominated Homer Simpson for this contest. He just doesn't fit the bill.
And then I read your REASONS for nominating him, and you lost a point. -1
THEN I read the reviews, which should've made you lose another point. But I'll keep it where it belongs, you whiny, smug cunt.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-04 17:50:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My my,
How the Uber-users at large have been owned.
You, sir, are my hero.
P.S. I hope your colon spontaneously combusts.
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-10-04 17:45:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha, nice job.
All of you just proved my point. You negatively rated this post not on its merit, but on the comments. You rated negatively because of my responses, and because others were rating negatively.
You shitheels can't even waste time on the internet correctly.
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-10-04 17:33:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Know why your first post got a good rating?
You kept your whiny mouth shut.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-10-04 17:32:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ya
upon further analysis, you whine too much
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-04 17:31:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is the first, last and ONLY time I will ever agree with the alter known as empathetic.
...
EVAR!
-2 DIE.
Go away if you don't like it here.
Beyotch.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-04 17:28:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
(RE the link you posted) That response was to an alter, I thought it was funny. Thanks for the link to my ugly mug. I think, sir, you are nothing but a bully. Good day.
Submitted by Empathetic (user info) at 2007-10-04 17:27:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This -2 is based solely on the observation that you are, in fact, a big, sopping, dripping vagina.
Toughen up, Nancy.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111370
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-10-04 17:20:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-10-04 17:00:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you feel compelled to tell everyone that you don't care, all you're accomplishing is proving to us all that you do.
Die. Seriously. Tonight. Die.
==============
Grade A fucking tweaker right there.
I gave you a +2. Feel better now, big guy? Maybe if we go and get some ice cream?
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-10-04 17:00:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you feel compelled to tell everyone that you don't care, all you're accomplishing is proving to us all that you do.
Die. Seriously. Tonight. Die.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:56:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Peacemaker? I thought we were 'debating'. Go get some anti depressants and chill out. You take life waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too seriously. And like I give two hoots what anyone on here thinks about me. It is the internet, it's not real.
Ta-ra.
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:50:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Orphelia, for fuck's sake, stop trying to be a peacemaker. It's not cute, it's not endearing, and you're only doing it to make yourself look better. Shut the fuck up.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:48:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what the dude?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:47:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That is not very nice. And I am a noob, I am in no gang, I am a nobody. And a few of these elite you go on about, well I think they are crap and I rate accordingly. You should not tarnish everyone with the same brush. Do you ever lighten up? And while I am here, I agreed with your thoughts on Homer, I just thought Darth was a better choice.
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:43:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whatever. Doesn't everyone have some elite UberUser to run off and fellate for another coveted +2?
I hope you all get hit by a bus tomorrow.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:40:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope I am not included in 'the pissy' CT - I am just trying to point out it is no good getting so worked up.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:38:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is that a 'no' to angry sex then...?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:37:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't let the pissy get you down, man. It's just an internet site.
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:30:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tch. Just goes to show, Uber's just another cliqued-out pissing contest, full of xenophobic shitheads who'll rave mindlessly about the people they already know just so they can expect a positive rating the next time they post some steaming pile. It gives me a cold chill to know that so many rely on the internet as a salve for their fragile ego.
Jesus Christ, why'd I come back?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:24:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was not particularly talking about you. Debating is good, however I do not feel telling someone to take a long walk off a short pier is either constructive or debating. If you get a retarded remark ignore it.
Now, lets go to bed and have angry sex. You are a guy, right? No matter either way...
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:24:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:12:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i would probably have given this a +2 but your whiney bitch seems to be showing and I cannot deal with that today.
**********************
...And Conner made me laugh.
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:20:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and orphelia?
Given your highbrow, mature responses on here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/111836
you have precisely zero room to talk.
Also, as a postscript, I wouldn't fuck you with Charles Manson's dick.
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:16:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you people equate debate and whining, you're in for some rough times.
As in, for the rest of your fucking lives.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:15:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I simply do not understand.
Uber is a site where you can post stuff for folk to read and pass opinion on if they so wish.
So how come, when some posters do not get the response they expected do they either - whine like a spoilt 5 year old child or get bitter and spit out attitude, literally picking for a fight?
Hey, News Flash! It is a big old world we live in and not everyone is gonna agree with what you post. Yeah, readers comments are not always constructive but so what?
Basically, if you can't handle the heat (and lets face it, this post is not getting any of that) don't bloody post!!!
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:13:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:12:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i would probably have given this a +2 but your whiney bitch seems to be showing and I cannot deal with that today.
----------------------------------
Well, if that isn't ever the pot calling the kettle a nigger.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:12:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i would probably have given this a +2 but your whiney bitch seems to be showing and I cannot deal with that today.
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:10:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:03:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
...aaand you continue to tweak the fuck out. You made an error, I felt that your post fit the "I've seen better" criteria very well, and thus I rated it a -1.
----------------
*ahem*
I DO NOT CARE ABOUT THE RATING.
I really can't make it any clearer than that. Honestly, if you wanted to be more foolish, I believe you'd have to work at it.
I was defending my choice. That is the purpose of a "competition", correct? Did any real harm come from Homer choking Bart? Well, apart from the fact that his voice never changed after 15+ years, no. Has harm come from other sitcom dads when they assaulted their children? And fucking how. Elementary conclusion? Cartoon injury does not operate under the same rules as real-life injury. Corollary? Not fucking child abuse/beating.
If Homer choking Bart was even REMOTELY held as such, a hundred thousand interest groups would've descended upon the show like a plague of locusts from On High and we never would've seen anything beyond season two.
Thanks for playing; you've lost. Take care, now.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:03:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
...aaand you continue to tweak the fuck out. You made an error, I felt that your post fit the "I've seen better" criteria very well, and thus I rated it a -1.
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-10-04 16:00:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ehm, no. If I'd "tweaked out" over the rating, I'd have -2 bombed you. Like begets like.
I responded to your COMMENT and it's inherent stupidity.
Oh, goodness, I'm sorry. Are you one of those people who completely misses context? They have a pill for that now.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-10-04 15:58:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-10-04 15:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-10-04 15:41:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"He's never cheated on his wife, beaten or emotionally abused his kids, or hurt someone for selfish means."
There was that one episode where he choked Bart...
And by one episode I mean most of them. Dumbass.
-----------------------------------------
Right. Would a stern talking-to have been more to your comedic tastes?
Ding-dong. Oh, look, one of those "Free Advice!" pamphlets. Let's see what it says.
1. Find short pier.
2. Take long walk off of above.
3. Forget to breathe.
4. Thank you!
=======
Way to tweak right the fuck out over a -1.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-04 15:49:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WINNER
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-10-04 15:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-10-04 15:41:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"He's never cheated on his wife, beaten or emotionally abused his kids, or hurt someone for selfish means."
There was that one episode where he choked Bart...
And by one episode I mean most of them. Dumbass.
-----------------------------------------
Right. Would a stern talking-to have been more to your comedic tastes?
Ding-dong. Oh, look, one of those "Free Advice!" pamphlets. Let's see what it says.
1. Find short pier.
2. Take long walk off of above.
3. Forget to breathe.
4. Thank you!
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-10-04 15:41:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"He's never cheated on his wife, beaten or emotionally abused his kids, or hurt someone for selfish means."
There was that one episode where he choked Bart...
And by one episode I mean most of them. Dumbass.
Submitted by something_or_other (user info) at 2007-10-04 15:40:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, Steak.
Does proclaiming your eternal man-love for Tom Waits make you feel all indie and super-hip, like the rich emo kids you see every day? Or is it merely the only way you can adequately express your neverending desire to have every orifice in your body filled to capacity with throbbing, steel-hard, white-hot boyflesh?
Tosser.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-04 15:33:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope your mom gets raped by a blender.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-04 15:28:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good nomination.