Lab Creation - GRUEBERFEST '07 - Round One (609 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: -0.17 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by lodikcom | mockidol (View user info) at 2007-10-04 19:55:31 EDT
The morning was the same as any other morning for the Professor. He sat down at his kitchen table and took notes on the previous night's work while the steel French percolator bubbled away, gurgling the thick brew that would practically hang from the pot like tar. When it plopped into his cup he would take note of its similarity to the curdled blood he had separated in the basement the day before. The morning was just like any other.
Being a Tuesday he expected his son Jason's alarm to sound for school just before the pot finished its brew, but his first cup of coffee came and went without a single burst of cacophony from the alarm.
"Jay!" he yelled, the words echoing in the mug close to his face. "You awake yet?"
A dark ring of drips spread out across the napkin as he set his drink down and listened to the silence around him. "Damn teenagers." he thought.
Finishing the current sentence in his notebook "...autonomously created and self sustaining life appears imminent." he rose from his chair and prepared to wake the passed-out fruit of his loins.
As the Professor, Jason Senior if you wondered, approached the room he could hear a burping, almost vomit like retching noise coming from his son's open door. He'd told him to lay off the marzipans last night and all the sugar must have made him sick.
As he entered Jay's room he announced, "Hey, pukeface, I'm coming in."
When the door finally swung open he began to shutter at what he saw. The tremor of his hand threw a pen across the room and it rolled up against Jay, or what ever became of him. Wrapped in a skin tight cocoon-like material was his pale dead body. The semitransparent coating appeared slimy and it moved with life as tiny glaringly blue maggot, larvae thingies inside feasted upon him.
The room was filled with the blue-light aura of the creatures' glow and sounds of digestion echoed within the oceanic halo. Realizing what he'd done he slammed the door behind him, ran past the kitchen where the notes on his son's killer still sat on the table, and ignored the slamming noise of his feet when he vaulted down the basement stairs.
When he came to a halt at the concrete floor he immediately saw what had happened. A small window was left open, just enough space for a nighttime critter to slip in, and a broken beaker of genetically mutated blood laid shattered across the floor.
The same bulbous, cylindrical creatures from upstairs slithered around on the floor in dark blood, some of them in various stages of development. Sprouting legs and other appendages that resembled wings, or maybe tails, they gave off various hues of light that appeared to reflect their stages of life. The room was a glowing rainbow of death.
Jason Senior responded in the only way he knew how. Grabbing the welding torch off of the shelf he sparked it to life and walked around hunched over and listened to the high-pitched shrieks of the defenseless creatures being charred to death. Defenseless at the time but he knew by the scene upstairs that they wouldn't be that way for long.
Later upstairs in his son's room, he slowly circled the corpse of his soon. Burning holes in the cocoon-like material he killed the buggers knowing that it would leave his son's body dark and charred as well. With each bugs shriek the blue glow darkened to reveal the daylight filling the room.
The torch flared out half-way through and he relit it. A salty flavor dripped into his mouth and Jay Senior murmured as he went back to burning his son, "What the fuck have I done?"
...to be continued.
[Note of Explanation]
I hated the somewhat cliché title picked for me and struggled to become inspired. My idea here is that if I win, this and other subsequent rounds, I will continue the story based upon the titles selected for me.
Of course, you all may realize this story sucks, vote me to lose, and the whole lineage will appropriately die. Thanks for reading.
User Reviews
Submitted by ColchesterDr (user info) at 2007-10-07 12:38:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Man up and finish what you start.
It was going pretty decent before you pussed out.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-05 20:50:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Odd..this really doesn't read like one of yours to me. I really like those.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-05 16:23:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i didn't think this nearly so bad as others seem to have... but shutter did bug the fuck out of me.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-10-05 14:52:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nothing personal, but there isn't anything here worth recommending.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-05 09:11:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Needs lots of editing and development, but still worth reading.
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-10-04 23:45:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shutter... can't blame you on that one.
Submitted by baronMunchausen (user info) at 2007-10-04 23:21:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I stopped reading after "shutter".
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-10-04 22:34:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-10-04 21:12:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-05 10:55:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Should've ignored the title and just written what you wanted.
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-10-04 21:38:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, since I'll be sticking around... I am so going to make up for this the next round. Might even try harder then off the top of my head crap in 15 minutes the day it's due.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-10-04 21:34:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You could've picked something else! I didn't care! BTW you still technically win as I won't be making the deadline.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-10-04 21:12:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-05 10:55:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Should've ignored the title and just written what you wanted.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-04 20:55:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Should've ignored the title and just written what you wanted.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-04 20:31:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-04 20:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-04 20:26:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here, have a number "2".
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-10-04 20:18:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
at this rate i'll lose by forfeit, in which case I'm not continuing this crap.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-10-04 20:16:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
kinda suckie poo
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-10-04 20:05:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I sure thought it was.
I really hate creature stories so I just wrote whatever.
Submitted by wrinklebeast (user info) at 2007-10-04 20:03:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No, don't continue this please. This was just awful.
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-10-04 19:56:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, yeah.
Lot's of hyphens, spelling errors, and a general lack of originality.