The Mack Daddy of all fictional characters period, end of story, nuff said. (658 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.75 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Darth Famine <Dork Lord of the Uber> (View user info) at 2007-10-07 09:39:22 EDT
Kratos bitches
Reasons
1) He was killed by the old god of war Ares, and fought his way out of Hades because everything in there was a pussy compared to him.
2) He then went on to Kill Ares in single combat.
3) He IS the god of war.
4) If something pisses him off, he doesn't just kill it, he rips its fucking head off with his bare hands!
5) He has threesomes all the fucking time because one woman just isn't enough to sate his massive appetite.
6) He pissed of Zeus, who managed to steal his power and send him to hades.
7) Apparently Zeus didn't learn from the past cause this badassmofo fought his way out of Hades.... AGAIN!
8) Zeus is now scared of Kratos.
9) When he met Persues, he called him a pussy and killed him.
10) He spends his spare time ripping the eyes out of giant cyclops.
11) He killed the fucking Kraken.
12) He killed all three of the fates and took thier powers so he could better stomp on that bitch Zeus
13)He is covered in the ashes of his wife and kid.
14)Even the other spartans are afraid of him
15)Unlike master chief, his girlfriend is not a voice in his helmet
16)His swords are CHAINED to him, he can't stop being a killing machine.
just a few quotes from this uber badass
"AREEEEEEESSSSS!"
"I am the God of War!"
"I will kill Zeus!"
"I owe you nothing!"
User Reviews
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:21:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah he does kill him, and a few other greek heros. after the pandoras maze it gets real good again story wise. you should finish 1.
great game, cant wait for the third one to come out
Submitted by Leonore (user info) at 2007-10-08 08:20:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I only played the first one up to that Pandora Maze. At that point the game really ground to a halt for me, and the killing got boring.
Does he really kill Perseus in the second one? If so, that's kinda pwnsome.
I think Lobo would still anally rape his mother whilst pouring sugar in his gas tank.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2007-10-07 21:09:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/100122
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-10-07 20:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh. There were worse. Even in REAL history.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-07 20:22:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, it's another one.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-07 16:45:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2007-10-07 13:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*nods in agreement*
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-10-07 11:44:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck. Yes.
Submitted by pshuu (user info) at 2007-10-07 11:23:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
He *was* pretty bad ass.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2007-10-07 09:43:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Homer: Ooh, look at this one! The Hammer of Thor! (Reading) "It
will send your pins to ... Valhalla?" Lisa?
Lisa: Valhalla is where vikings go when they die.
Homer: Ooh, that's some ball.
The Telltale Head