"Where was THAT yesterday?" (928 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.44 on 42 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by NintendoCzar the Dumbass (View user info) at 2007-10-07 18:16:47 EDT
I am an uber post waiting to happen. I don't usually like posting stories like this, because I personally hate reading sex stories. I question how truthful they are, and if the author is merely imagining something as he wanted it to happen. I know that this doubt will fill many of you (especially those that believe I'm a FAT version of Mario from my camwhores) but know that this story is truthful in it's entirety. If you still doubt me, I hope it at least kills some time between porn/work sessions.
I'm going to make one more thing clear before we start: I've had sex before (OMG! TEH NERDZ HAD SECHS LOL!!11ONE!), many times (I mean, I DO have a kid). Ever since July 3rd, 2004, it's been on a daily basis...Until the end of August. Now, for a good month, I've been on this dry spell because my wife left me, and because she left me with a baby, meaning I've had zero time to go out.
But tonight was different. Tonight, it was time to move on, and get over everything. Fuck that girl, and literally fuck another one. I called the perfect one: An ex of mine from 2 years ago. Of course, if everything had gone perfectly, I wouldn't be on ubersite posting this, would I? No No No. Before I delve into my story, let me make something else clear: The girl I was meeting with is about on par with my ex according to hotness (and the NintendoCzar scale is pretty strict (don't believe me? Don't care)), so just know this. Alright, here we go.
The night began innocently enough. My friend, we'll call her Lauren, called me up to see what I was doing tonight. It was the usual: Watching some crappy new TV show, the baby, and sitting around in my underwear. I told her I was busy painting a picture, but she could come over if she'd like. She decided to, so I quickly put the baby to bed and jumped in the shower for a quick clean. I got out, threw on some clothes, and she showed up 10 minutes later. I had my mom watch the baby and then Lauren and I swung by to the local Wal-Mart. I needed some Thai iced tea for a date I have tomorrow (with a 3rd girl, we'll call her Connie) and also...Some condoms.
Now dear Uber-ers, you can just minus two this story right there because if you continue to read you're going to hate yourself unless you're feeling kind. The reason I say that is because I've never USED a condom before. Yes, all those times I've had sex? They were with the same girl, my (ex)wife, and we never used one. The first time we were going to have sex we tried, but that didn't work and the condom broke or flew off like 3 times. Needless to say, I have a bad track record with these stupid things. However, I realize now that I have a kid that I never really wanted one (but I do love the one I have) so having another one or contacting an STD isn't number 1 on my list of things to get out of sex.
So Lauren and I headed down to the Wal-Mart, but she had no clue of the second item I was buying. I only told her tea and something else. She wasn't suspicious until after I snagged the tea and preceded to the Pharmacy side of the store. She began questioning just what I was buying...
Lauren: So what are you buying?
Me: Uh, something, you'll see, don't worry...
Lauren: Is it clothes? Are you buying a nice new shirt for tomorrow???
Me: Well, you could say it's something I wear, yes. And it might be used tomorrow.
Lauren: Oh, is it underwear? Ew, are you buying underwear with me?
Me: *Thinking: You wish* No, but you're getting closer...
Lauren: Close....Oh god, no no no, you aren't buying what I think you're buying, are you?
Me: What do you think I'm buying?
At this point, she pulls my arm with more force than I thought a girl like her could and shoved me aside. She looked in my eyes with the fury of hell and asked me one more time:
Are you buying condoms? In a hushed but raised voice.
One of those devious little kid smiles crept up on my face. I sputtered out "I don't know, maybe" and winked. She proceeded to pull me towards the nearest check out, seemingly mad at the fact that I would drag her to the store to buy condoms (and thai iced tea).
Me: What are you doing?! I need them! C'mon!
Lauren: No you don't, you don't need them, let's go, NOW.
Me: What do you mean I don't need them? (At this point, I pull away from her grasp) You saying that I won't ever have sex again? Are you saying I'm so completely disgusting that I will not be another girl ever again?? That's just wrong (and I know all the uber readers are smirking "But she's being honest LOL")..
Lauren: No, you're taking that wrong, look, you don't "need" them, let's just go, get the iced tea and I'll explain in your truck....Okay?
Now the way she said that sentence I thought two things: Either she really is disgusted that I thought she cool enough to buy condoms with me, or.... She bought me condoms already! I was hoping for the latter, especially since I don't have a job and buying condoms would sorta put a bind with my funds (Because I had just bought a pair of 120.00 dollar Mario shoes). Either way, I figured it was a good reason, and we went to check out. Everyone in line was starring as us because we continued to argue about it, and had an idea of what we were talking about. After check out, we get into my truck and she explains just what is going on...
Lauren: What the fuck is your problem? Taking me with you to buy condoms?!
Me: *sighs* You are the one that wanted to come with me to the store! What I buy from therein is my prerogative. You give away all rights to backing out, or pulling me out of the store.
Lauren: Whatever, why do you need them anyway?
Me: I don't know, I just do, alright?
This is finally when I decided to spill my guts, tell the truth to her, and be done with it.
Me: Look, the reason I want the condom is so I don't psyche myself out when I'm with a girl. I'm tired of being in that relationship I was in, and I want to break free. Buying this condom isn't about buying condoms for buying condom's sake, it's a symbol of my newfound freedom to fuck whomever I please, to my heart's delight. I want to have sex again, with another girl, and because I don't who that girl will be, I gotta be prepared for it at all times, be it tonight, tomorrow, or a month from now.
You know how they say honesty is the best policy? They are totally right.
Lauren: Well, fine, then go back in there and do what you have to do.
Me: Are you crazy?! I can't go back in there just for condoms, it'll look weird. All the people in there already saw me, and saw the big deal YOU made about it, so now I definitely can't go buy them here. There's another Wal-Mart by my house, I'll just go there.
Lauren: No, don't get them at Wal-Mart.
Me: What?! Why not? You were just fine with me going back in there
Lauren: Just drive, somewhere else, maybe closer to your house than that Wal-Mart.
Me: There's this H-E-B (That's a South Texas grocery store for you non-South Texans) we could go to?
Lauren: No, you know people from school there!
Me: So? I don't want them to know I'm going to have sex, or am planning on it? That's actually a good thing. Maybe I want to run into someone I know, just so I can tell them all about my sexual expections!
Lauren: ....No. (By this time we've been driving down towards my house) Look, pull into here, this Walgreens (I'm sure some of you know what this is). Buy them here, and buy the ones in the light blue box, okay?
Me: Er, okay.....I'll be back soon.
As I jump off my truck, a girl in a big red truck is pulling away. She stares me down the whole time I'm walking into the store, for some reason. I never quite figure it out, but maybe she was at Wal-Mart, and knows what I'm here to do. Still, pretty freaky if you ask me. I walk into the store and observe who is at the counter. I'm hoping it's not a young girl, because I'd be a bit embarrassed to buy such a thing from one (though maybe a good pickup line would go "So would you like to help me test these out?"). Fortunately for me, it's an older, bigger woman, and I feel a bit less stressed out about the whole thing. Looking back, I should have been a bit more worried that she'd offer to show me how they work....
*Ring* INCOMING CALL *Ring*
Me: Hello?
Lauren: In case you forget what kind to buy
Me: Okay, fine, stay on the line...I'm walking back there now. Jesus, I don't know where the hell they are. Fuck, this is why I wanted to buy them at Wal-Mart, because here I'm aimlessly looking around for condoms....Oh I know I'll ask this little old lady where they are.
Lauren: What?!
Me: Nothing, nevermind...Here we go. Alright...Light..Blue...Box......12.96?! For 12?! What the fuck?! That's damn expensive. Hm, they have 36 for 20.00 bucks, but I don't forsee me using 36. Unless, of course, I mess up putting them on a lot of times. Hmmm
Lauren: Just buy one of them!
Me: Alright alright. I suppose the 12. Start off light. They do have 3 for 4.00 bucks...No, I'll definitely need more than three. Okay, I'm going back to the front. I hope there isn't some couple at the front with a kid or something.
Lauren: Why not?
Me: Because, it'd be a little weird to be in line and the kid is staring at me the whole time wondering what the man is doing with the box with the man and the lady kissing on it.
Lauren: You're such a nerd. Just buy the things and go.
Me: I'm in line right now. *Whispers* There is a couple in front of me, I'm hiding the box under my arm. This little girl keeps staring at me. Dammit....Okay they left.
The check out lady doesn't even look up at me. She rings up the box, takes my money, gives me my change, and I walk out as fast as I can. Once in the car, I begin to wonder how long they are good for, and why they expire. I figure it has to do with something they put in them, but soon my mind wanders around long enough for me to forget the ride home. Once we get back to my house, Lauren and I conspire on a good place to hide them.
Let me explain another thing about me (I have to do a lot of explaining, I guess this means I suck at life/story-telling). See, even though I have a kid, and I had a wife, I did not have a house of my own. Instead, we lived with my mom. So, my house is actually my mom's house, and while she's a very cool mom, I don't want her knowing my sex life just like I don't want to know about hers. From time to time, she comes to my room to grab some toilet paper, or a cleaning product I didn't put back, meaning that if I hide my little pretties in the medicine cabinet or anywhere in the restroom, there's a 77% chance of discovery.
With the restroom out of the picture, I had to think of the least obvious spot that was accessible, but only if you were purposely looking for them. I looked around my room. Man, I sure do have a lot of Mario shit...Mario plushes, action figures, lunch boxes....AH HA!
Me: I'll hide in the Mario lunch box. It's visible, but it's behind so much other Mario stuff that my mom or anyone else but me won't think to look inside there for anything.
Lauren: Why did I have a feeling Mario would be involved in this somehow?
Me: Oh shut up. Alright, let me put these babies away....
That's when I stopped for a second to think. Before I put them back, should I tear one off in case something happens tonight? Should I somehow secretly slip one in my pants in case we are in the heat of the moment, and I don't want to bother walking back over to a shrine of a pudgy plumber that might possibly kill a boner? No, I won't do that. I'll just put them away...But I do decide to leave the lunchbox slightly more out than usual, just in case...
Me: Okay, so that's done with. Thanks for uh, helping me out...I guess...Want to watch some TV?
Lauren: Sure
THE END! No, just kidding. Of course, like I stated at the beginning, I am an uber post waiting to happen, so something had to happen that would constitute such a bold claim, amirite?
As we're watching The Wonder Years, Lauren decides to lay on my chest. Nothing out of the ordinary, we usually sit and watch TV in such a manner even though we are just friends. She then begins to unbutton my button down shirt, and slides her fingers around my chest. It tickles a bit, but I don't think anything else of it. She then turns to look at me, during a commercial, and that leads to hardcore making out. Soon my shirt is off and her bra is on the floor, and we're going at it. All that we needed to do was take off the pants, and that's when it becomes clear I'll need the condom.
Lauren: I don't want to do this.
Me: Then don't. Just stop.
Lauren: But I do want to do this.
Me: Then don't stop, just keep going.
Lauren: Oh fuck it get the condom.
Lauren eloquent request was fulfilled, and I spring up to grab the condom. For never using one before, I was afraid to put it on wrong or to tear it, but the package came right off and the condom went right on. Everything was fine, and as I laid her back to begin my conquest, something very homosexual happened.Thoughts of me and my ex began to swirl in my head, and I couldn't focus. It had been awhile, so I nervous that this girl wouldn't like what I did, especially if whatever my ex liked this one didn't. As the doubt began to mix, it led to the deadly con-cock-tion of "Boner Loseress" or
Me: Shit, it went down
Lauren: WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WENT DOWN?! GET IT BACK UP!
Me: It's not a switch I can flip, ok? Let's make out some more, that should do the trick.
It did the trick, but as soon as we begun again...
Me: Shit, not again! Dammit, I don't know what's going on! This never happens, I know what I'm doing. Shit shit shit...
Lauren: Alright, let me try something...Take the condom off.
Me: Okay.....
Lauren proceeds to suck on my switch-less, non-cooperative dick. My ex had only once given my a blowjob (she said that it made her gag too much), so this was a welcomed surprise. I got excited again, and all of a sudden those thoughts stopped. For now. Lauren stopped as soon as it was fully erect, and I got another condom and hopped on top again. However, I wasn't comfortable with being on top. I was used to being on bottom, I operated better that way.
Me: Oh fuck this- Look, get on top of me.
Lauren: What?
Me: Just do it.
She hopped on top of me, and I laid back and close my eyes. I had enough of my dick, I had a brain talk with it. I told it that we're going to show this girl what that other bitch is missing. I told him that it wasn't going to end like this, and we were on a mission to rock the socks off this little prize. No more bullshit, do your thing. I focused harder than I had ever focused before. I decided this was the best revenge to get at my ex. I will be having sex with someone else, someone she hates, before she had sex after the relationship. I didn't hold back, and worked it as hard as I could.
Lauren: *Moan* Oh shit, I've never had it done like this before...Oh shit this is...Oh wow...OH FUCK.....Damn yes yes yesssss YES! (At this point, she sinks her claws into my chest, and I know that I'm finally in the zone) No guy has ever....OHHhhhHHhhhhhhhhh
After about 10 minutes, Lauren was done. As she began to slow down, I realized something. I couldn't finish. The thoughts came back, and I just gave up trying to come. It wasn't worth it anymore. She was satisfied, and that was the deal I had with my penis. I settled for now.
Lauren: *gets off of me* Did you finish?
Me: No...I don't know what the hell is wrong with me tonight..
Lauren: You didn't finish?
Me: No, did you?
Lauren: Uh, yeah, *chuckles*...But I feel bad, you didn't finish.
Me: Well, don't, it's my own fault..
Lauren: Wait, I know...
Lauren gets down again and decides she is going to finish what she started moments ago.
Lauren: *Slurp*...*COUGH* Ugh, ew, for some reason your dick tastes nasty now..Oh, it's from the condom...Shit, I can't do this now.
Me: ...Oh fuck you! Now I'm all...Shit.
Lauren and I laugh it off (Yeah, I was laughing REAL hard) and about 5 minutes later we decide she should head on home. Outside of my house, we talk some more.
Me: So was it okay at least?
Lauren: Okay? Are you kidding me? I've never had a guy get me like that before...It was...Wow.
Me: Well, on a scale of 1-10, where would I rank?
Lauren: (in a sing-song tone) I'm not telling..
Me: Fine. I promise you, next time, it'll be better. Trust me.
Lauren: We'll see....
As she drives off, I walk inside, dejected, and pull up some porn. I jack off to my little heart's content, and finally finish the job. When I'm done, I walk to my restroom, flap my penis on the sink, and stare at it in the mirror.
Why the fuck couldn't you do that 15 MINUTES AGO you dumb fuck?!
Follow-up: The next day, Connie and I call it an early night (I wasn't into her as much as I had hoped), and I call Lauren. She comes over, We watch Survivor and CSI:, and then around 9:30 begin another sexual escapade. This time, she finished, I finished, and it was spectacular. When we were done....
Lauren: Where was that yesterday?
Me: See, told ya.
Lauren: Fuck....
Fuck indeed Lauren, better than any boy you'll ever meet.
To end, I took a picture of the shelf I'm hiding them on. I realize my face leaves me open to photoshopping, but fuck it, I'll take the attention.
User Reviews
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-09 14:17:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
christ that was long...
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-09 13:41:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Bwahahahaha. Funny shit dude.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2007-10-09 13:18:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you look like me. it's freakish, actually
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2007-10-09 06:18:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
tl;dr
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-10-09 02:45:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
actually i was taking the piss a bit with that. i dont think its appropriate at all, especially if its a 'best mate'.
theres plenty of chicks out there without having to sniff after your mates leftovers.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-10-09 02:30:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Even 3 months seems lenient to me. More like a year at least.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-10-09 01:50:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
he gives a shit, i guarantee it.
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-10-09 01:39:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh I know how bad it was...Thus the disturbing imaginations during the time I spent with her... I had nightmares that night where my best mate actually stabbed me...Similar dream the next night pre-luding the following day when I told my best mate, He took it better then you would think. "I dont give a fuck dude, I just feel sorry for you", those words in a way are little bit worse then the expected raw anger.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-10-09 01:26:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-10-08 20:42:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lol, Limp Dick syndrome...
No imagination can get rid of it if there is something wrong with what your doing.
I Fucked (well tryed) my best mates ex-girlfriend 3 weeks after they broke up, nothing on gods green earth could help me get it up, especially when her head kept turning into my best mates head... Quite disturbing really.
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youre a shitty friend. you dont deserve to have any mates if you do shit like that. i dont care how hot she is you dont fuck her until at LEAST 3 months has passed AND hes shagged a minimum of two chicks since.
its a fucking simple rule of thumb
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-10-08 21:25:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/41996
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-10-08 20:42:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lol, Limp Dick syndrome...
No imagination can get rid of it if there is something wrong with what your doing.
I Fucked (well tryed) my best mates ex-girlfriend 3 weeks after they broke up, nothing on gods green earth could help me get it up, especially when her head kept turning into my best mates head... Quite disturbing really.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2007-10-08 19:26:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-08 14:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Fuck man, if you were making out while watching "The WOnder Years", why not just imagine Lauren as Winnie? That should've taken care of your limp-dick syndrome.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-10-08 13:46:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus Christ both of you need to grow up. What's with all the hangups about sex and condoms? You sound like teenagers.
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-10-08 13:17:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-08 11:35:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1. Get some pictures of a naked guy, or maybe a llama.
2. get your rocks off
3. Keep it to yourself
--------------------------
Actually, i'll write an extravagant story about it and end with no point and post it here. That's my style. Oh yeah, and I'll forget words and put typos, just so everyone knows I wrote it.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-08 11:35:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
1. Get some pictures of a naked guy, or maybe a llama.
2. get your rocks off
3. Keep it to yourself
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-08 11:06:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THAT WAS A LOT OF WORDS TO READ WHEN THERE WAS NO PUNCHLINE
Submitted by dronebee (user info) at 2007-10-08 11:05:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:53:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-10-07 22:44:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Come on guys.
This motherfucker has no job, lives with his mother, his wife left him with a kid, and he's been on the receiving end of two, MAYBE three blow jobs his whole life. (not sure how many he's given)
Cut him a +2.
haha
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:46:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Living with your mom, having a baby, having only fucked one girl, then having that girl stick you with a kid, equals two things in my mind:
1 - Teenage pregnancy.
2 - Your ex has a rampant drug problem and/or is a slut.
By the by, wtf is Lauren's problem? Why the fuck does she have so many naggy, high school hang-ups? I would've hit her in the head with the box of condoms and told her to walk the fuck home.
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Hm, well, maybe you should make a 3rd choice:
3- You're (in this case, me) a fucking loser and settled too quickly like a dumbfuck.
Oh, and sometime I'll be posting my mini-drama about that relationship, so it might clear things up.
And I don't understand what all that was about, that's why I posted the story. She was just being a bitch about things. But hell, I still got me some, so to me that doesn't really matter anymore.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-08 09:21:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Living with your mom, having a baby, having only fucked one girl, then having that girl stick you with a kid, equals two things in my mind:
1 - Teenage pregnancy.
2 - Your ex has a rampant drug problem and/or is a slut.
By the by, wtf is Lauren's problem? Why the fuck does she have so many naggy, high school hang-ups? I would've hit her in the head with the box of condoms and told her to walk the fuck home.
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-10-08 09:10:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
iddqd + Phallic_Cymbals:
I gave plenty of warnings that it could be preceived as a crap post, so don't be mad just because you didn't listen and kept reading. Though, thank you for giving zeros instead of the minus 2's i usually expect from people.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-08 06:46:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-10-07 23:55:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-10-07 19:58:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It took you 3300 words to say "I couldn't cum because i have hangups about my ex".
You are a fucking shoddy storyteller and this piece of shit didn't even have a punchline.
---
pow.
gotta agree. this piece of shit is about 2000 words too long. OMG I BOUGHT CONDOMS TEE HEE
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-10-07 23:19:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-10-07 23:00:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
PS. You should have dumped your wife as soon as you figured out she didn't give blowjobs. Man, you are TERRIBLE with women!
----------------------------------------
Damn, I'll never make that mistake again :P
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-10-07 22:44:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Come on guys.
This motherfucker has no job, lives with his mother, his wife left him with a kid, and he's been on the receiving end of two, MAYBE three blow jobs his whole life. (not sure how many he's given)
Cut him a +2.
-------------------------------------------
Hey, if living with my mom means I don't have to pay bills or for a babysitter, then fuck yeah I'm doing it. Oh, and I've given none (that I know of)
Thanks for the two. I think?
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-10-07 23:00:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
PS. You should have dumped your wife as soon as you figured out she didn't give blowjobs. Man, you are TERRIBLE with women!
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-10-07 22:44:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Come on guys.
This motherfucker has no job, lives with his mother, his wife left him with a kid, and he's been on the receiving end of two, MAYBE three blow jobs his whole life. (not sure how many he's given)
Cut him a +2.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-07 22:26:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You went all the way around your ass just to find your elbow. . .
It really sucked.
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-10-07 22:19:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-07 19:27:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How old are you?
------------------
20. I turn 21 in December.
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2007-10-07 21:17:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wtf all that text and nothing funny?
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-10-07 20:41:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wouldn't come for that girl if I was a dude, either. "Don't buy condoms! Buy condoms! I don't want to do this! I do want to do this!" You should have punched her in the mouth and told her to GTFO.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-07 20:33:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was genuinely awful.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2007-10-07 20:15:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy shit, I read the whole thing. What ... what the fuck was the point of that? And what is your fanboy obsession with Super Mario?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-07 20:14:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2007-10-07 20:10:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is just.....
God....
I don't even have the words to describe this festering heap.
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-10-07 20:02:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I actually didn't read the ENTIRE thing before my last post, I just finished now - pretty damn funny. The photo is a classic, lol.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-10-07 19:58:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It took you 3300 words to say "I couldn't cum because i have hangups about my ex".
You are a fucking shoddy storyteller and this piece of shit didn't even have a punchline.
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-10-07 19:44:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"(OMG! TEH NERDZ HAD SECHS LOL!!11ONE!)"
You make me laugh - auto +2
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2007-10-07 19:39:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-07 19:27:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This went for ages - but not bad all the same.
In future stay away from 'My dear uberers' it just reeks of lame and that's chaosjesters turf.
How old are you?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-10-07 19:17:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Also - I'm pleased to see that more people of different ethnicities on Uber.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-10-07 19:13:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good story.
When did you first realise you were losing your hair?