GRUEBERFEST '07 - 2nd Round Matches (1728 hits)
Category: Computers & InternetLabels: GFest07-2
Rating: 0.81 on 120 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kaos-king (antius777) (View user info) at 2007-10-08 03:56:30 EDT
The devil's voice is sweet to hear. - Stephen King
And on to the 2nd ROUND of GRUEBERFEST '07!!! We had some amazing tales posted in the first round, a few forfeits and just a lil' bit of controversy. For those of you following along, Skrapmetal has bailed out and requested that his opponent TTOM take his place in the competition. This is fine, especially since I was going to advance the highest ranked 2 losers anyhow. This means both Whiskey_Jack & Ballare move on.
It's Monday the 8th. All contestants have until 11:59pm ESTtonight to give their opponent a title. If you haven't received your title by then, you can either create your own, or come to me to get one.
2nd ROUND stories are DUE by THURSDAY the 11th at 11:59pm EST
On Friday the 12th, an organization post will go up, verifying those who have posted and those who might have forfeited. READ, RATE & REVIEW!!! Voting ends on Sunday the 14th and 11:59pm EST, with the wrap up/3rd ROUND post Monday morning the 15th.
HERE ARE YOUR 2nd ROUND MATCHES!!!
1 - Beeltea VS Hourman
2 - Big Mike VS Fungah
3 - Ballare VS NintendoCzar
4 - Whiskey_Jack VS Beer-Turtle
5 - Forensic Girl VS Mockidol
6 - Write-Of-Way VS TechnoRatty
7 - TTOM VS Captain Thorns
8 - HurtByTheSun VS Orgasmatron
9 - Sir Cowman VS Lungfish
User Reviews
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-15 00:07:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GODDAMNIT I was too busy having fun to remember to rate on time.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-10-13 13:44:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112425
that was my real entry, KK. The other thing was what I had been working on before I realized I had no where for it to go and not enough time to finish. I just posted it as a joke.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:04:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-11 09:18:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As per the suggestion of that dastardly Scourge, who reminded me that all I had to do was put up a link to the label that I was using to organize all the posts...
http://www.ubersite.com/u/kaos-king/l/gfest07-2
So yeah, all entries will be cataloged here for those that need to go back and READ, RATE & REVIEW!!!
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-12 04:55:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good luck Beeltea. Can't believe you got yours in that close, you're 0.05 ahead at the moment!!
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-10-12 01:30:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i think you two should try setting fire to your own hair. That would liven things up.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-12 01:08:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-12 00:30:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So apparently the best way to get me to not care about posting is to set me up in a competition against someone who's unable to write a story. I'm beginning to think that my interest in writing for something like this is directly related to the ability and performance of my challenger.
That postcard deal had, what, 200 words? It was put together in the off chance that scourge would make an appearance and offer something to beat, but sort of knowing that he wouldn't post. HTBS said he'd pretty much be a no-show earlier today, which left me with precisely zero motivation to do anything that involved effort.
Seriously, whatever the fuck keeps making vibrating noises outside can knock it off any time now.
I'm beginning to wonder if I'm suffering from a lack of interest, a general boredom, writer's block or the need to have first blood drawn before composing a response. I really hope it's not the latter - it'd be lame to be the asshole that never wants to throw the first punch.
If I see another Frank TV commercial on tv I'm shitting in a box and sending it to TBS's home office.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'll compete against you. I'm all for competing, as the end result gives me another meaningless title to add if I win.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-10-12 01:00:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This contest sure turned to shit quick.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-12 00:30:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So apparently the best way to get me to not care about posting is to set me up in a competition against someone who's unable to write a story. I'm beginning to think that my interest in writing for something like this is directly related to the ability and performance of my challenger.
That postcard deal had, what, 200 words? It was put together in the off chance that scourge would make an appearance and offer something to beat, but sort of knowing that he wouldn't post. HTBS said he'd pretty much be a no-show earlier today, which left me with precisely zero motivation to do anything that involved effort.
Seriously, whatever the fuck keeps making vibrating noises outside can knock it off any time now.
I'm beginning to wonder if I'm suffering from a lack of interest, a general boredom, writer's block or the need to have first blood drawn before composing a response. I really hope it's not the latter - it'd be lame to be the asshole that never wants to throw the first punch.
If I see another Frank TV commercial on tv I'm shitting in a box and sending it to TBS's home office.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-10-12 00:09:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112425
this is my entry, slid under just at the deadline. It wasn't my original idea, but my original idea didn't go anywhere so I scrapped it. Oh well.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-11 20:07:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Folie à Deux by Mockidol = 1.61, 16 reviews
Mine = 1.5, 19 reviews
Mockidol FTW!!!!
<whew!> Thank Gawwwd I'm out!
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-10-11 17:18:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112418
I hope it's better than the previous.
I hope the picture doesn't fuck me over.
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-10-11 17:07:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112414
My entry.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-11 09:18:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
As per the suggestion of that dastardly Scourge, who reminded me that all I had to do was put up a link to the label that I was using to organize all the posts...
http://www.ubersite.com/u/kaos-king/l/gfest07-2
So yeah, all entries will be cataloged here for those that need to go back and READ, RATE & REVIEW!!!
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-11 03:05:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's mine for anybody who cares:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112403
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-10-11 02:49:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My lame attempt:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112402
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-10 20:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Iddqd writes the finest replies of anyone in the univ...<HURL!!!>
Sorry, Id, I just had to give you shit.You are actually a smar. . .
HURLHURLHURL....
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-10-10 16:13:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi,
12 Inches of Heaven
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112397
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-10-10 14:36:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hourman I'm really not that popular... I wouldn't worry.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-10 10:49:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what they say....fight fire with fire. :)
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-10 10:46:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-10 09:44:28 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thorny...
That coffee tasted better going DOWN.
----------------------------------------
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Dude...my stomach churned the whole time I was MAKING the damn thing.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-10 10:44:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm gonna lose this on a popularity technacality ain't I?
Gosh dag nabbit
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-10 10:44:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thorny...
That coffee tasted better going DOWN.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-10 10:34:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
R2 entry - "The Giant Gaping Betentacled Horse's Vagina o' Doom from the Tenth Level of Hell": http://www.ubersite.com/m/112385
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-10 09:25:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-09 17:15:28 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112373
-------------------------------------
FUCK ME RUNNING
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-10-10 02:06:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah, i'm a little slow....
but I'm here an plan on posting.
w00t.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:53:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My bet is on the following people to win this round;
Beeltea
Fungah
Nintendo
Whiskey_Jack
Forensic Girl
TTOM
Hurtbythesun
lungfish
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:15:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112373
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-09 14:39:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Stock Iddqd response: "Whah whah whah, whah whah thats what I said whah whah whah whah. Whah whah Im such a brilliant writer whah whah im too good for this place whah whah whah whah conjecture based personal insult whah whah whah"
If you WANT to sleep with me just say so, ya 'mo.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-09 11:55:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-09 11:46:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lemme cook this for a few hours, Kaos. I dunno.
________________________
What the fuck is there to cook, you hot lil' scientist?
You'll write a god damn story with that beautiful brain of yours or you fucking forfeit.
You dunno? YOU DUNNO??? Well, I know that I would do terrible, nasty, erotic things to you, but I'm going to talk about that here.
Now stop your adorable bitching and just look over the titles I've provided you...
hehehe...
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-09 11:46:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lemme cook this for a few hours, Kaos. I dunno.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-09 11:37:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-09 08:52:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If he doesn't show up by this afternoon, I think I'll just take a pass.
________________________________
You gotta write SOMETHING Forensic...
Here are your titles -
"Kathy's Teeth"
"Beautiful Mourning" <---notice spelling
"One Too Many Spikes"
"The Last Burning Tree"
IF ANYONE ELSE NEEDS TITLES, LET ME KNOW!!!
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-09 10:25:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112357
The Watcher
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-09 08:52:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If he doesn't show up by this afternoon, I think I'll just take a pass.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-10-09 01:19:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ill take a blowjob and a line instead thanks.
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-10-09 01:14:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it doesnt matter (and its pretty funny), but thats what its about: a popularity contest.
-----------------
Shit, then I hope all my opponents drop out, because if not I'm totally fucked.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-10-09 01:09:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
iddqd needs a hug and a cup of cocoa .
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-10-09 01:02:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
havent had you address me for a while mike. yeah, its going fine. i managed to drop that brief annoying habit i picked up for a bit of capitalising and actually trying to type in a legible fashion.
however, i have managed to secure myself a job writing, as well as picking up some crappy freelance jobs writing corporate jargon-ese. so im doing okay, despite the polio.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-09 00:49:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey iddqd, I see you haven't done anything about the polio. :)
Get it? Polio, bad typing?
Har har, I crack myself up.
Seriously though, I get your point and I feel similarly.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-10-09 00:39:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Also, iddqd, you can fuck off. Its not some earth shattering matter, theres no prize, its just a stupid competition on a stupid website. Crawl out of your own arse for five seconds and get a fucking grip."
no shit its just for fun. i said that in my response. im more than aware its just a stupid contest on a stupid website. doesnt stop me from being right in what i said. youre a fucking shithouse writer and its likely you always will be, but maybe if you got someone giving you something other than a virtual blowjob for very piece of shit you post (and contrary to what im sure many think [though probably not you] you post your fair share) then you might actually do something genuinely interesting besides draw now-overused and very limited little pictures, and tell the same joke over and again with them. that was the point of what i was saying, not about this competition. it was a comment about the website and its users in general. id like to see someone talented like yourself take something from the people in this particular community and do something terrific. aside from cataloging extraneous subspecies of west african beetles or whatever.
but whatever, im certain youll win this round, regardless of whatever piece of shit youll write. like the uberboard says right now, as i type: "ROUND ONE JACK! BY A ZIT FACED TEENAGER JACK! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA" - jack lost cos people dont like him. it doesnt matter (and its pretty funny), but thats what its about: a popularity contest.
wow, sounds like lots of fun. way to relive high school, though this time you get to be the cool one.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-09 00:03:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok Fungah, I think I might be able to work with those. Thanks.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2007-10-08 23:07:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-08 18:39:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2007-10-08 12:37:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey - Big Mike:
Suggestions for your title are as follows:
A) The out-house poltergeist
B) Dante (from Grandma's Boy)'s inferno
C) The
D) Fish Cemetary
E) The call of C'hristopher Walken F'taghn
Can I pick my own title? These are kind of weak.
----------
Err..... How about......
Circular
Back for first time
and.....
The doorway
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-08 22:20:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Would someone chase down Mockidol for me?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-08 20:21:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-08 09:55:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel like a total douchehat. I thought voting ended tonight, and I've rated precisely 0 entries to date. I must make it a point to accomplish this by Thursday or Friday of this week to avoid being a cockmaster two rounds in a row.
*waits for someone to mention that I'm a cockmaster every week*
HBTS, I will give you options:
- Never Enough Rope
- Consumption
- That Time of the Month
- Wayfaring Stranger
Choose whichever you like.
*****
Le bathroom wall says you're a cockmaster every day, but what do I know?
I know I wanted to see the end of The Uberbury Tales, but, again, I got fucked.
Notice the proper grammar and punctuation above? Degrees in English are not a dime a dozen, and mine still works. Too bad all of our time is spent on drivel and not on the Uberbury tales. Or should I say tails? Young man, write thee the proper tales, and the Shlongys of the planet will give forth with a resounding, "HUH???"
'nuff said. . .
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-08 18:58:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
forensic- you should get kk or one of the pulsers to hunt him down. He's too cool for uber about 89% of the time.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-08 18:44:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where the hell is Mockidol?!
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-08 18:39:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2007-10-08 12:37:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey - Big Mike:
Suggestions for your title are as follows:
A) The out-house poltergeist
B) Dante (from Grandma's Boy)'s inferno
C) The
D) Fish Cemetary
E) The call of C'hristopher Walken F'taghn
Can I pick my own title? These are kind of weak.
Submitted by write-of-way (user info) at 2007-10-08 17:55:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
TechnoRatty:
Alter Ego
Open Secret
Old News
or
The Well
Or you can pick your own.
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-10-08 17:12:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi Write-Of-Way,
Hope these are okay
- The Stone Coffin
- In the Slaughteryard,
- Eight Omens of a Death
- When Man Falls, a Crowd Gathers
Or
- The Man Without a Shadow
If not, go nuts and choose one that suits you.
XXX
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-10-08 17:04:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, Lungfish. Here are more titles that may or may not be better now that I'm sober.
"Toilet Paper Mummy"
"Beware or Dog"
"Even as I Write This"
I''m so excited.
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-10-08 16:56:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright, sounds good Ballare. Yours is
"My Brother's Mansion"
edit*
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2007-10-08 16:56:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright, yours is
"My Brother's Mansion"
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-10-08 16:32:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
NintendoCzar:
your title is 'Skeleton Grin And Bare It'
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Actually: The Hanging Tree has already written itself in my head a short prose piece. I probably tack it on to the end of the other one I started already as "bonus" material.
Escpcially since I have alot of homework I have to do and I am trying to dodge it.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:51:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
really? I got tortue in french and tortuga in spanish.
weird...I didn't think I had ever like done anything to shit on ya in the past to earn the douche title anyways.
Thanks for clarifying bro.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:19:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's French and I just woke up
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:13:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
docuhe?
Were you trying to be insulting and failed by mispelling douche?
Unless docuhe is like Hmong for turtle or something?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:08:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Hanging Tree is a good luck title.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-10-08 14:43:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Beerdocuhe(damnit I'm so funny I wanna clone myself so I can High 5 myself!) your titles sir:
The Hanging Tree
Tickle my pickle for a nickle?
Hemorrhage
Time's up
Ron Von John vs The Community of Men with Unpleasant Ideas About You
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2007-10-08 14:08:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My second round entry: Infinite Horizon
http://www.ubersite.com/m/112329
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-10-08 13:58:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
good lord, fungah... you know you have four days, not four hours, right?
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-10-08 13:32:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hourman
"The Watcher"
"Frozen"
"Virtually Clean"
"These Days are Precious"
or....
"The Life and Times of Ann Coulter... Special Nude Illustrated Edition."
have fun!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-08 13:04:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shlongy has the kavorka...Nothing that any of us can do about it.
PS. Fuck right on off.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-08 12:48:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98379
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-08 12:46:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-08 12:29:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-08 12:07:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jesus...you're fucking pathetic, ghola. man buys you a few drinks and you're absolutely obsessed with him. i bet you talk about him at home, don't you? just go on and on about what a fantastic guy he is, how you can't wait to see him again...how does your boyfriend feel about this? a little insecure, i bet.
---
seems you're a bit turned around. blows is blows though.
yo momma is ugly. (this is a great insult if someone's mother is dead. otherwise, not so much. so if your mother is alive, pretend she is dead)
---
you smell like pee.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-08 12:41:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Gholatime!
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2007-10-08 12:37:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey - Big Mike:
Suggestions for your title are as follows:
A) The out-house poltergeist
B) Dante (from Grandma's Boy)'s inferno
C) The
D) Fish Cemetary
E) The call of C'hristopher Walken F'taghn
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-08 12:29:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-08 12:07:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jesus...you're fucking pathetic, ghola. man buys you a few drinks and you're absolutely obsessed with him. i bet you talk about him at home, don't you? just go on and on about what a fantastic guy he is, how you can't wait to see him again...how does your boyfriend feel about this? a little insecure, i bet.
---
seems you're a bit turned around. blows is blows though.
yo momma is ugly. (this is a great insult if someone's mother is dead. otherwise, not so much. so if your mother is alive, pretend she is dead)
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-08 12:26:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I completely should still be in this.
I demand a recount in my favor!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-08 12:21:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-08 11:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ps, those attempts at hitwhoring, aka "organizational posts", are shameless, chaos_king. you can accomplish the same thing with a label. does your quest for internet glory have ANY bounds? if you are going to shamelessly hit whore, at least be HONEST about it. like i was here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/97599
___________________________
HAHAHA!!! That never even occurred to me.
Yeah, that would be a LOT easier...
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-10-08 12:20:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ghola also likes dandilions gone to seed. You can see why. Like shlongy they are small, slender, and with one big gust of wind their tiny heads are left completely bare.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-08 12:07:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jesus...you're fucking pathetic, ghola. man buys you a few drinks and you're absolutely obsessed with him. i bet you talk about him at home, don't you? just go on and on about what a fantastic guy he is, how you can't wait to see him again...how does your boyfriend feel about this? a little insecure, i bet.
(i'm trying to pick a fight here, btw.)
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-08 11:59:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-08 11:22:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Where's the ghola-Shlongy 2nd round match-up?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-08 11:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:43:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Real men offer up their byes to give other people a chance to compete.
Then they post late after their competitors forfeit.
Way of the world.
---
Whatever, Cockmaster.
I'm trying to set a record here for most Uber Competition forfeits. Besides, my forfeit helped to get your creative juices flowing for when you had to face...who do you have to face?...
Oh.
Well you didn't need any help facing that slackjawed, mutant eyebrowed homo. I mean, seriously, just post any old horseshit and you'll be doing okay this round.
ps, those attempts at hitwhoring, aka "organizational posts", are shameless, chaos_king. you can accomplish the same thing with a label. does your quest for internet glory have ANY bounds? if you are going to shamelessly hit whore, at least be HONEST about it. like i was here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/97599
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-10-08 11:24:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:43:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:34:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MWG IS SCURRED!! YOU CAN SEE IT BELOW!!! damnit.
------------------------------
It's true, I'm absolutely petrified.
Which is why I"m so happy to have the 12 hour/day workweek ahead of me, so that I can have a decent excuse not to face my fears.
--
Har-har mwg, congrats on the win, and I'm glad I'm not you because I have a towering mountain of shitwork on my desk this morning as well. Good luck.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-08 11:22:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Where's the ghola-Shlongy 2nd round match-up?
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-10-08 11:00:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WhiskeyJack
3 tits er titles for ya
Gears
Undone
Edge of Sight
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:43:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:34:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MWG IS SCURRED!! YOU CAN SEE IT BELOW!!! damnit.
------------------------------
It's true, I'm absolutely petrified.
Which is why I"m so happy to have the 12 hour/day workweek ahead of me, so that I can have a decent excuse not to face my fears.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:43:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Real men offer up their byes to give other people a chance to compete.
Then they post late after their competitors forfeit.
Way of the world.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:35:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:32:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:12:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:06:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did I miss something? How am I not in the second round? Nor Jack McCallum?
_________________________________
Fuck.
________________________________
I'll just take a bye in the 3rd round. I have a pretty hectic schedule this week, so I'm in no rush.
_________________________________
Sounds good to me...
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:34:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MWG IS SCURRED!! YOU CAN SEE IT BELOW!!! damnit.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:32:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:12:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:06:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did I miss something? How am I not in the second round? Nor Jack McCallum?
_________________________________
Fuck.
FUCKITY FUCKFUCK Fuckeroo FUCK.
---------------------------------
I'll just take a bye in the 3rd round. I have a pretty hectic schedule this week, so I'm in no rush.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:28:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this isn't about me, sniffles, its about you and your inability to disconnect the internet from your drug induced reality.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:25:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've done NO wrong.
Fuck Hadley. Fuck Hadley and all those that surround him.
I want nothing to do with that individual in anyway ever again, if I can help it.
You, however, are proving yourself in being little more than a sanctimonous and judgmental prick.
Maybe the reason YOU got all rilled up about this is something deeper, more personal.
Perhaps you should look closer at why you quite honestly give a damn about this so much...
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:19:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
what i say shouldn't bother you...unless you feel you 've done wrong.
and its not a high horse, more of a middle horse really.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:15:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:13:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
maybe it you weren't so busy hatin on other people's families you could run a contest that was slightly less of a clusterfuck
______________________________
Oh, get off your moral high horse...
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:13:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
maybe it you weren't so busy hatin on other people's families you could run a contest that was slightly less of a clusterfuck
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:12:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:06:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did I miss something? How am I not in the second round? Nor Jack McCallum?
_________________________________
Fuck.
FUCKITY FUCKFUCK Fuckeroo FUCK.
I am SO sorry. MonkeysWithGuns, you DID beat Jack in the 1st ROUND.
I swear all the numbes worked out before! Fuck. *sigh* How do you wanna work this? Do you simply want a bye into the 3rd round? You can just do an "Exhibition Match" this round against BRDN NKD so you have something to write if you'd like...
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:08:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:05:19 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-08 09:58:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
KK loves a bit of cock, master.
___________________
Stop thrusting your assumptions back onto delicately worded diction...
-------------------
You stop using stupid clever sentences where STFU would suffice.
Hah you said thrusting, you are teh ghey.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:06:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have reflected this weekly cockmasterhood in my MVA display name.
Thanks for playing.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:06:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did I miss something? How am I not in the second round? Nor Jack McCallum?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-08 10:05:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-08 09:58:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
KK loves a bit of cock, master.
___________________
Stop thrusting your assumptions back onto delicately worded diction...
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-08 09:59:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OTRON = Cockmaster Every Week.
Since you gave me options, here's yours:
- A Cold Slice
- Do Not Disturb
- Made
- Flickering Bulb (inspired by the incredibly annoying, broken bulb in my office)
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-08 09:58:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
KK loves a bit of cock, master.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-08 09:57:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
O-Tron, you're a Cockmaster every week...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-08 09:55:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel like a total douchehat. I thought voting ended tonight, and I've rated precisely 0 entries to date. I must make it a point to accomplish this by Thursday or Friday of this week to avoid being a cockmaster two rounds in a row.
*waits for someone to mention that I'm a cockmaster every week*
HBTS, I will give you options:
- Never Enough Rope
- Consumption
- That Time of the Month
- Wayfaring Stranger
Choose whichever you like.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-08 09:17:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
<Forensic starts sweating bullets>
Mockidol-
Here are three choices
1) Darken Your Door
2) The Scar Remains
or something from my field. A little diddy we like to call....
3) Folie à Deux
If you want a brief explanation, the little article on Wiki is actually pretty good.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Folie_%C3%A0_deux
Now whether or not you want to base the story on the actual phenomena is entirely up to you. I just think the subject matter might make an excellent story.
Good luck
and if you don't like any of those, I can throw some more at you.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-08 09:14:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sac - IGTKTW
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-08 09:14:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK CT, I've come up with some titles for thee
Flesh and Bone
The Giant Gaping Betentacled Horse's Vagina o' Doom from the Tenth Level of Hell
Forewarned
The Bridge Troll
The Chinese People Follow Me in the Street and Watch Me on Tiny TV Cameras When I'm Asleep
That last one isn't so much a title as a suspicion on my part.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-08 09:12:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My proposed show me your hole competition, cant fail!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-08 09:11:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...or Ubertines, Ubermas, Shamrock Open, UGR..am I missing any?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-08 09:05:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-10-08 14:00:40 BST (#)
Ranking: -1
This has got to be the worst contest on here in a while as far as format. Sure, the writing is awesome, but when people lose, still continue, are given a title, don't follow it, etc. this is hardly worth it. Meh, who am I to say how it should be run?
Good luck!
=============
You missed the Epistolary Writing Contest then, I take it?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-08 09:05:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
or the episolatory contest
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-08 09:04:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You obviously weren't here during Ubermadness.
Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-10-08 09:00:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
This has got to be the worst contest on here in a while as far as format. Sure, the writing is awesome, but when people lose, still continue, are given a title, don't follow it, etc. this is hardly worth it. Meh, who am I to say how it should be run?
Good luck!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-08 08:55:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
KK you forgot to mention the PRIZE AGAIN!
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-08 08:53:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OK Ill play even though Im fairly sure I lost that one. Why is Skrap pulling out (har har)exactly?
Ill try and think of something before tonight.
Also, iddqd, you can fuck off. Its not some earth shattering matter, theres no prize, its just a stupid competition on a stupid website. Crawl out of your own arse for five seconds and get a fucking grip.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-08 08:50:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
TTOM, your title choices:
Holocaust
Epidural Armageddon
Revenge of the Tsetse
Searchin'
Grease
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-08 08:43:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats Forensic!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-08 08:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
anyone down for an exhibition round? let me know. B
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-08 08:35:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Quinn/Cowman:
"Hunter's Moon"
"The Watcher in the Window"
"Poor Tom's a-Cold"
"The False Door of Mehu"
"A Little Less Conversation"
Or, whatever you want. I'm waiting for my coffee, and don't think so well this early.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-08 07:49:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-08 07:41:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-08 07:41:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-08 07:05:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fungah:
The Body Lies
Full of Soul
Infinite Horizon
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-08 05:04:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, I'm lame. I'd have like to continued on in this contest, but I have to travel a lot this week and just won't have time to write. I would have hated to be advanced and then forfeit, so why not leave the door open? I thought TTOM's effort last round really was better than mine. Poe-esque, yes, but commendably so. Mine was just bloody, although I admit that I liked it better when it was three times as long.
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-10-08 04:35:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck yeah! I'll give you a title now, and if i remember two that might be better when i sober up this afternoon.
"Coffin Nails"
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-08 04:17:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-08 04:13:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
/agree to a degree
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-10-08 04:11:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the names on posts affect the outcomes so much, rendering this sort of competition of little use, almost even in the sense of people just writing for the fun of it. to be perfectly honest, there is no way TTOM should be in any 2nd round of any writing competition anywhere. hes a very funny guy who has some brilliant, and i mean brilliant, ideas and manners of expression, but hes at this point in his life a fucking TERRIBLE writer, and the circlejerkery that goes on will not help him learn to express himself in the way his ideas deserve, as every ball licker jumps in to see who can taste his taint first.
which, to my mind, is just really really unfortunate.
yeah yeah yeah im a sad sack piece of shit that only ever whines (cut and paste to your hearts content). id just like to see some people give TTOM and others like him some assistance in becoming better at the things they do for fun so that one day we might get to see someone from this site do something awesome and feel like we (and by 'we' i dont mean me. i hate you cunts.) had a part in that. rather than the self-perpetuating asskissery that plagues all communities like this, especially ones that are more specifically 'artistic'. fuck propping up anothers mediocrity to justify our own.
end rant.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-08 04:07:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beeltea:
'Restless, No Time for Sleep'
'Behind these Bars'
'Loud Blood'
'Sickly Sweet'
Any of thsoe mate and good luck :)
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-08 04:06:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool.