Fun With The Nazi Non-Smoker (1461 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.57 on 67 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <diem_perdidi_001.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2007-10-08 14:52:35 EDT
I would like to believe I'm generally a courteous smoker. Normally, I don't sidle up with a lit cigarette dangling from my mouth and pour my cancer smoke into other peoples' lungs. I do consider that rude.
The only exception to my sincere efforts of being a courteous smoker is when I'm at the club, drink in hand - which, fyi, is always a jack and coke. If some drunken idiots want to flip their hair into the burning embers of my cigarette while they teeter by with their fuck-me pumps and apple-tinis, you know, that's fine. No sweat off my back. Or if I "accidentally" miss the ashtray and put my cigarette out on the pants leg of the roid-rage wannabe who has been leaning across the bar with jarringly close proximity to my breasts and has now begun to move his arm back and forth, well, that doesn't bother me too much.
I go to school at night, in a half-hearted attempt to finish my english degree. Okay, I've been attempting harder lately. But that's besides the point. Before class, I like to enjoy a five minute suck and blow before the three hours we'll be spending pouring ourselves - geniuslike - into 19th century black literature, most of the time during which I will be wanting to bore my eyes out. There's a particular, vocal, member of the class who annoys me and who, from this point on, I will refer to as "saggy bitch". She always comes in sweats tight enough to see the cellulite on her thighs and has her ratty mousy-brown hair pulled back.
The other day, I stroll out into the courtyard to enjoy my pre-class cigarette. I walk my usual five to six feet distance from other people, find the flow of the wind, and pull my pack of cigarettes out. I see Saggy Bitch glance up from the chair that sits next to the door of the lobby and scowl at my intention. While my unlit cigarette is in one hand and my lighter is in the other, I hear her start coughing and I look up to see if some asshole has ignored the unspoken rules of smoking conduct. No. There's just me. With my unlit cigarette.
Saggy Bitch is waving her hands in front of her face and coughing like she was just infected with the plague. Her eyes, however, are staring down at the book in her lap. This is when I realize she hasn't noticed that I have yet to light my cigarette. As her coughs grow louder and her waving arm antics increase, a few people begin to watch her and then glance at me. We all smile at each other. Some start silently laughing, shaking their heads. I shake my own head as I watch her with a look that says "Holy shit, you dumb cow".
With the grace of a clydesdale, Saggy Bitch erupts from her seat amidst her coughing spasm and yanks open the door to the lobby. When she turns to throw a contemptous look at me, for invading her air with my supposed pollutants, her face drops as her eyes fall on my unlit cigarette in my hand. She blushes, turns away quickly, and hides herself from view.
Unceremoniously, I drop into the chair she forfeited and light my cigarette. I close my eyes, lean my head back, and suck in. As I lift my head up, I saw that she is watching me from inside the lobby, her full face glowing red - which I'd like to think is a combination of frustration and humiliation. Blowing out a cloud of smoke, I catch her eye and wink.
And I didn't move. All my courtesy had fled and I was in full-bitch mode. When I watched her walk out the other entrance of the lobby, forced to walk around the entire building to be able to get to our classroom, so not to walk past me, I felt warm in all the right places.
Saggy Bitch. I know your weakness now.
User Reviews
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2007-10-11 20:17:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ahh good job !
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:33:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet, glorious nicotine...
Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:25:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:15:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Had some dumb bitch start that coughing thing with me one day... IN THE SMOKING AREA... I just offered her a cough drop and lit up
Hahahaha. I'll have to make sure I have a bag of cough drops with me next time.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:15:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Had some dumb bitch start that coughing thing with me one day... IN THE SMOKING AREA... I just offered her a cough drop and lit up
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-10-10 00:10:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-10-10 06:26:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-10-09 16:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a firm believer that women are responsible for their own orgasms.
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Hellll Yeah, as long as I get my rocks off - That's all that matters. If they cum too, well I guess that's a bonus for them.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:45:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-10-09 16:26:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-10-09 16:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a firm believer that women are responsible for their own orgasms.
It's the goddamn 21st century. So, yes, of course we are.
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You wouldn't know it to listen to all these women who bitch about their man not being able to give them an orgasm. It's their own fault for wondering if the goddamn oven is on, or "does he think I'm fat," or "that bitch stacy shouldn't have said that, omg, I can't believe she said that, and then I said this, blah, blah, blah" when they should be concentrating on the task at hand.
Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-10-09 16:26:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-10-09 16:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a firm believer that women are responsible for their own orgasms.
It's the goddamn 21st century. So, yes, of course we are.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-10-09 16:24:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a firm believer that women are responsible for their own orgasms.
Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-10-09 16:07:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-09 09:47:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Drop the attitude lady, and take a look at your own mess."
Of course she whips around and asks "excuse me?"
"Your kids, lady. What you're doing is terrible. You're setting them up for a ton of problems later. So shame on you! So what if she smokes once in a while? We're outside dammit. I guarante you that she's in better health and will outlive you. Now fuck off and have a nice day."
Awesome. I would have turned around and jumped him. The guys who have the balls to say that are few and far between.
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Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-10-09 01:49:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
+2 for story and values. -3 Because you made it hard to follow your thought with the lack of grammar and un-neccesary fullstops.
Thanks for the honesty. Will try better.
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Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-10-08 22:20:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think we would get along well.
Hmm. It's a rare thing.
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Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-08 20:47:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, so, I can't think of anything charming and witty to say in order to grab your attention.
Better luck next time.
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Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-10-08 18:15:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
self righteous saggy bitches suck
Don't they? And usually they are the most prevalent.
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Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:46:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*lights a cigarette and nods in agreement*
P.S. show shlongy your slot.
I don't quite get the "slot" references. Sorry guys.
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Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Indeed this was fantastic.
It's because I'm fucking fantastically witty.
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Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:26:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmmm have a strange desire to bang you know...and share a smoke after!
Ah, yes, it's common. They say it passes after awhile.
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Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:25:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AND WOMEN THINK MEN ARE STUPID FOR NOT PICKING UP ON THEIR FAKE GYRATING, ROLLING OF THE EYES AND MOANS. WELL THE JOKE'S ON YOU TOO BITCHES!!
The women (and men apparently) who fake it are simply just cunts. If the other person's not good, don't waste your energy faking, spend it teaching. Jesus.
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Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:22:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Eh - whatever floats your boat. I think there is plenty of fun to be had here, however you define it.
I'm noticing.
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You're a fun bunch.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-09 10:09:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/83672
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-09 09:56:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good call FG. Obesity is far more harmful than light smoking to one's health as far as I am concerned, and the mortality stats prove it.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-09 09:47:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm an on/off smoker. I'll smoke for 3 months and then stop for a year. Anyway, the brief times that I do smoke, I try to be very courteous about it.
Once however when I was at a Renaissance Festival I decided to stop and have a diet coke and a smoke. I found a nice hay bale near the blacksmith's and lit up, thinking that the smoke from the blacksmith's fire would eat my cig smoke. Also because I wanted to watch them pound on a sword.
So as The Man and I are sitting there, me smoking and him eating a turkey leg, some cow walks past with her brood, stops, and proceeds to cough like she's about ready to spew out a lung.
Now mind you, the smoke and steam from the blacksmith's is all around us, and we're OUTDOORS!
She then stops coughing and tells her children about how rude people who don't care for anyone but themselves are all around and starts to waddle off.
Also mind you that although smoking is a terrible thing to do (I know that), OBESITY is almost, if not just as bad, as smoking. She was very obese and her small children were obese as well (which I consider child abuse).
I wanted to get pissy and say something but I figured it wasn't worth it. The Man, however, took exception to what happened and spoke up....
"Drop the attitude lady, and take a look at your own mess."
Of course she whips around and asks "excuse me?"
"Your kids, lady. What you're doing is terrible. You're setting them up for a ton of problems later. So shame on you! So what if she smokes once in a while? We're outside dammit. I guarante you that she's in better health and will outlive you. Now fuck off and have a nice day."
She looked like he just slapped her.
I can understand if a smoker blows smoke in someone's face or smokes where there are non-smokers around, but some non-smokers aren't angels either. Just because they don't smoke doesn't mean they don't have their own deadly habits.
Oh, welcome to Uber.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-09 09:14:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Danke for being a courteous smoker. The normal nonsmokers among us appreciate it. :)
+1 only because the grammar was off in spots.
Submitted by Spuzzum (user info) at 2007-10-09 02:40:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just quit smoking 3 weeks ago and I need some inconsiderate smokers blowing smoke into my face. It just smells so good.
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-10-09 01:49:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
+2 for story and values. -3 Because you made it hard to follow your thought with the lack of grammar and un-neccesary fullstops.
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2007-10-08 22:20:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think we would get along well.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-10-08 21:24:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Funny how certain people, who claim to have no affiliation with those of the more Chips Ahoy variety among us, feel the need to rate women who post here negatively...
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:29:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't see why this is rated so highly... yeah, it didn't suck, but it wasn't very good, either.
Strictly ho-hum.
Funnier still how when I noticed how well they seem to know each other *ahem*...certain myspace profiles went "Friends only" to prevent other from making the connection.
Even funnier still how screenshots work.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-08 20:47:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, so, I can't think of anything charming and witty to say in order to grab your attention.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-10-08 18:57:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HA!
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-10-08 18:51:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I just find it to be oversimplified as "one post per day" and quite deceptive when told to new folk skill. The average online idiot who posts pure crap...sure.
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-10-08 18:17:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Amen. Smoker's unite.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-10-08 18:15:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
self righteous saggy bitches suck
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-08 18:08:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm smoking right now... again.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-08 17:05:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and sometimes i get really sick from other people's smoke, but this was great. although she's got balls., i try and stifle the coughing.
Submitted by platonicchic (user info) at 2007-10-08 16:49:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As a fellow considerate smoker, I applaude you.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-08 16:39:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-08 16:39:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:53:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
beer turtle is right to a degree.... the one post per day is more to your advantadge as your post doesn't then get knocked off the front page but beer-turtle don't tell me you haven't been annoyed by the dumb ass who posts four times in one day. I did that when I started here cause I didn't realize what was happening.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:48:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Kind of funny story.
But I didn't crack a smile, not even a little one. I doubt there was even much of a change at all in my facial expression while reading this.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:47:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Smoking is cool.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:46:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*lights a cigarette and nods in agreement*
P.S. show shlongy your slot.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:45:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Jebus...there is no one post per day rule.
The front page, meaning the first page you see at www.ubersite.com and before you hit the NEXT option to advance you to the next page, is where any given author may only have one post VISIBLE at any given moment no matter what day it was posted.
I'll explain for you and for the masses who are fucking ignorant:
Example: I post on a Saturday night at 8, due to low traffic, only a few posts go up before I have another submission ready for Sunday night at 9. Now 25 hours have passed but only 3 entries since my last post are showing. When I make my new submission, my other one will HIDE, but is still available to read and rate, just not on the front page as referenced to earlier.
There is no one post per day rule, I'm so sick and so tired of the ignorant that spread this lie to new folk. If it were a funny lie... maybe, but all out inconsistency with the true manner in which the page functions, fuck no that shit pisses me off.
In order to stay sane I must chant my mantra:
It is not my job to correct people or content on the internet
It is not my job to correct people or content on the internet
It is not my job to correct people or content on the internet
It is not my job to correct people or content on the internet
It is not my job to correct people or content on the internet
It is not my job to correct people or content on the internet
But it is my duty as a sentient to enlighten the ignorant...but there are just so many.
I think I'll go buy Sisyphus a beer.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Indeed this was fantastic.
Submitted by dronebee (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:39:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:34:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
At $1.13/minute that's a pretty penny for reasons detailed a few reviews below.
I'm offering hourly packages now, btw.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:34:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:33:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:28:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey hey, what's with all the "you" references.
Let's keep this all nice and general-like. Say what you want about Men in General but leave me the fuck out of it. Ric Flair might have been big on taking the ladies to Space Mountain but let me tell you something. I AM Space Mountain.
===
Well not YOU in particular. MENZ.
Hell, I've been paying you for phone sex all this time, I can only imagine what you're capable of when you're actually in the room. F YOU TOLD ME NEVER TO TELL.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:31:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YES "SOMEONE" OF YOU NOT "SOME" I'M AN IDIOT TODAY OK
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:30:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:29:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And maybe if someone of you weren't harder to get off than a leech stuck to a strip of double sided tape we wouldn't appear to "fail" when in fact we've just "given up."
haha
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:29:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And maybe if someone of you weren't harder to get off than a leech stuck to a strip of double sided tape we wouldn't appear to "fail" when in fact we've just "given up."
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:29:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't see why this is rated so highly... yeah, it didn't suck, but it wasn't very good, either.
Strictly ho-hum.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:29:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
but why do it at all? I mean, yeah this guy's trying to keep his baby batter out of the oven but why would a women want to do it. Wouldn't it be better to figure out how to make sure you get there too? Or are you just a little too self concious to talk about such things? just asking. I'd rather know I still have work to do than have you be unsatisfied
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:28:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey hey, what's with all the "you" references.
Let's keep this all nice and general-like. Say what you want about Men in General but leave me the fuck out of it. Ric Flair might have been big on taking the ladies to Space Mountain but let me tell you something. I AM Space Mountain.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:27:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:25:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AND WOMEN THINK MEN ARE STUPID FOR NOT PICKING UP ON THEIR FAKE GYRATING, ROLLING OF THE EYES AND MOANS. WELL THE JOKE'S ON YOU TOO BITCHES!!
===
Yeah...because doing something solely to appease your ego and/or our boredom caused by your lack of skill is equivalent to secretly refusing to knock your wife up, probably making her worry she's infertile all the while. *glares*
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:26:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmmm have a strange desire to bang you know...and share a smoke after!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:25:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AND WOMEN THINK MEN ARE STUPID FOR NOT PICKING UP ON THEIR FAKE GYRATING, ROLLING OF THE EYES AND MOANS. WELL THE JOKE'S ON YOU TOO BITCHES!!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:23:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:22:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok that's not true at all.
But it does remind me that I was at a party a little over a year ago and this guy was telling me how he didn't want to get his wife pregnant and had taken to 'faking it' while they had sex. How she could buy, consistently, that he tapped his milk keg inside of her absolutely, positively astounds me. Unless the guy only fires off three, maybe four eels during a sex-go-round. And maybe he did, who knows. Besides her I mean. Idiots, both of them - him for the idea and her for buying it.
um.... wow.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:22:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Eh - whatever floats your boat. I think there is plenty of fun to be had here, however you define it.
Camwhore = whoring it up for the camera and then posting the picture.
and alter is a second or third or twelth account created by an established, known user in order to carry out shenanigans or other mischief. They seem to pride themselves on "tricking" other ubers' into "believing" they're real.
So you have to prove you are real, and until then endure taunts of "alter." Though usually the alters can't write so coherently.
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Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-10-08 12:18:41 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't offer bribes. And always thought meaner is usually funner.
And more sincere. No?
Also, no clue what an alter is. Or really a camwhore, for that matter.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:22:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok that's not true at all.
But it does remind me that I was at a party a little over a year ago and this guy was telling me how he didn't want to get his wife pregnant and had taken to 'faking it' while they had sex. How she could buy, consistently, that he tapped his milk keg inside of her absolutely, positively astounds me. Unless the guy only fires off three, maybe four eels during a sex-go-round. And maybe he did, who knows. Besides her I mean. Idiots, both of them - him for the idea and her for buying it.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:20:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I camwhored today, this is called a linkwhore to my camwhore: http://www.ubersite.com/m/112327
the only other real rule is one post per day noob. keep writing and not sucking like this and you'll fit right in.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:19:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rules??
Smokem if you got em
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and.... being that you're female. well, fallen beat me to the first comment you will no doubtedly get which is show your breasts but soon someone, and almost always shlongy, will say "show us your hole.
Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:18:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:12:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Welcome to uber - you seem semi-literate. Stick around
I know it may seem like uber is a free for all, but there ARE rules, as eluded to by Brdn_Nkd.
the first being +2 all the post of your uber elders so that they are nice to you.
you can start with mine, then move on to Brdn_Nkd, Merlina, and scourge.
Don't forget to prove you aren't an alter by posting a camwhore.
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I don't offer bribes. And always thought meaner is usually funner.
And more sincere. No?
Also, no clue what an alter is. Or really a camwhore, for that matter.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:18:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I like to enjoy a five minute suck and blow."
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Despite the context, this is just opening you up to all sorts of propositions, which you should already be recieving.
also,
This wasn't bad.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:17:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Replace "cigarette smoke" with "money shot" and "unlit cigarette" with "totally faked an O face and sounds" and you've got the story about the time I hoodwinked this dumb bitch I knew in college who totally felt she was too good to take a load on her face.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:16:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
welcome,
Crystal forgot to mention the cam-whore should include the afore mentioned breasts.
you should also +2 my posts as well, it's a good way to make friends fast. I have one on the front page now. it has a band wagon that NO ONE IS BANDWAGONING ON!!!
sorry..
welcome to Ubersite.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:16:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I like you...have my babies?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:13:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:12:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Welcome to uber - you seem semi-literate. Stick around
I know it may seem like uber is a free for all, but there ARE rules, as eluded to by Brdn_Nkd.
the first being +2 all the post of your uber elders so that they are nice to you.
you can start with mine, then move on to Brdn_Nkd, Merlina, and scourge.
Don't forget to prove you aren't an alter by posting a camwhore.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:12:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would like to believe I'm generally a courteous smoker. Normally, I don't sidle up with a lit cigarette dangling from my mouth and pour my cancer smoke into other peoples' lungs. I do consider that rude.
The only exception to my sincere efforts of being a courteous smoker is when I'm at the club, drink in hand - which, fyi, is always a jack and coke. If some drunken idiots want to flip their hair into the burning embers of my cigarette while they teeter by with their fuck-me pumps and apple-tinis, you know, that's fine. No sweat off my back. Or if I "accidentally" miss the ashtray and put my cigarette out on the pants leg of the roid-rage wannabe who has been leaning across the bar with jarringly close proximity to my breasts..."
Hell, I was thinking this could be me until I got to the breasts part.
Agreed. I'm polite as I can be, I even wash my hands after a smoke to kill any lingering odor, and then I step into the office and damn near choke on cheap perfume, against which I have no legal recourse.
Oh, and bourbon kicks ass. All other excuse for booze pale in comparison.
Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:07:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:04:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoah, good early post noob.
has anyone informed you of the rules?
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Um no.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:06:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
decent first post
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-08 15:04:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoah, good early post noob.
has anyone informed you of the rules?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-10-08 14:59:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-10-08 14:58:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
have another this is hysterical!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-10-08 14:57:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The title looks like a -2, but the story was great.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-10-08 14:54:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ha ha!