Grueberfest 07 - The Watcher (656 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: Grueberfest_07
Rating: 1.67 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hourman (View user info) at 2007-10-09 10:25:21 EDT
Autumn is one of those funny times of the year, when the breeze blows and people carry a jumper round with them, just in case you know? Sometimes I just like to sit, and watch what goes on around me. If you sit somewhere long enough, people treat you like part of the scenery, like you just belong there.
I don't judge what people do, it's not like I'm God, and I just like to watch. I've seen the same old man come and sit on a park bench for the past two years, no idea why... maybe he likes to watch too... but that isn't really my concern.
I've seen people get punched, slapped, screamed at, kissed, touched and betrayed without ever moving. My eyes sit behind my sunglasses, avoiding the gaze of others, as I look into their lives, even if just for a minute.
I don't deny that I watch people at less than appropriate times. I have seen women get undressed in the privacy and security of their own home, and I've watched them find another woman's underwear in their husbands drawers.
You know, it's not actually a sexual thing; I just like to watch life, chaos, death, destruction, fear, anger, happiness and many more human variables. It's just what I enjoy doing.
Every now and then I like to watch children. They run around so care free, no ties to the adult world. No power to disrupt it.
I can still see him playing army in the garden, shooting his toy gun at imaginary Germans.
"Goin' over the top sir!" He yells with a final salute, and a sprint to the tree. His mum comes to the window and asks him a question, he shoots her answers away, protesting that he 'don't get so long to play no more'. Youth, so black and white.
For no reason at all she suddenly leaves the house, and that's when I see the tiny little bump of youth protruding from her belly, causing her to waddle just a little bit more than someone her age should.
I haven't seen her since I saw her struggling to keep her purity, as I forced my unwatchful ways upon. I was young and foolish then, I didn't know the joys of simply observing life. I was shocked to find she'd even bothered to keep it.
Her son watches her walk off and sticks his tongue out, and autumn being the tricky season it is suddenly gets very cold, and he runs inside to grab a jumper.
For the first time in a while, I don't just watch.
I can see her, walking back, a tin in her hand, straight to the front door. No emotion on her face, just plain normality. I can hear her yell to her son that he's left his toys out in the hall again, and I can see it all too clear. He shoots her with his toy gun, only this time, it's not so toy like.
He drops the gun, which I purchased days before having observed his fascination previously with all things military, the look of chaos and clarity combined with the ignorance of youth is a look you don't get to watch all the time. It's very rare, and sometimes it needs a little push.
Her belly is red, and as she rolls onto her front, slipping in her and her unborn life, she'll never reach the phone. Her son doesn't even move... he just watches.
Now he knows what it's like, what it's like to be a watcher, just like daddy.
User Reviews
Submitted by bruzwuld (user info) at 2007-11-11 07:43:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2007-10-31 02:05:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
great stuff, nice little twist in the end
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-10-12 13:19:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Word Association Bitch!
I've had it completely with that dinosaur.
Great greubering, man.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-10-12 13:14:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-10-12 13:14:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's another.
Because it's better than the other.
Your mother.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:09:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-10-12 00:21:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here. I didn't read beeltea's either. It's only fair.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:23:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this and thought the twist was really well executed.
"You know, it's not actually a sexual thing; I just like to watch life, chaos, death, destruction, fear, anger, happiness and many more human variables. It's just what I enjoy doing."
Me too.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-10 05:52:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for all the reviews guys :)
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-10-09 21:09:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was strange.
For some reason, I read him as some type of demon-thing at the beginning. I thought you were going to go the route of "evil thing just sits back and watches humanity, since humanity generates the true horror in this world" kind of thing.
However, you then declare the watcher's humanity by alluding to his raping history.
So now he's just some creepy guy in the backgroud.
And how did he get the gun to the kid? That seemed strange/unlikely.
I'll spot you this last bit, since you seem British and my not know this one. Real pistols are primarily steel along with wood or plastic components (stocks, clips, etc.) A real pistol would weigh much more than it's plastic, toy counterpart. The kid would have to be some kind of tard not to notice the difference and just pull the trigger.
But, then again, growing up in the U.S., I had to field strip an M-16 as part of my Citizenship class when I was 10, so maybe it's just me.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:26:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-09 09:11:20 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...fair enough...
-----
Stoned haiku approved.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-10-09 15:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2007-10-09 15:02:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When I get a boner I faint from loss of blood.
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2007-10-09 14:57:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yesterday was my birthday.
I will assume this story was my present.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-09 14:48:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-10-09 14:45:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What I really liked about this was the kick-ass title
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-09 12:11:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
...fair enough...
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-10-09 12:04:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ah, perhaps a bit short for me to catch that, then.
Or some other justification that makes me better than you.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-09 11:58:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah I figured that might throw some people a little.
What I was trying to do, if you're interested (which i'm going to assume you are), was show how the Watcher feels like he has a connection to his child now. It was like his child actually became part of him. Maybe that helps explain my logic a little.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2007-10-09 11:53:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I was going to rate this a 1, but the "just like daddy" line at the end for some reason killed it for me.
Eh, fuck it.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-09 11:37:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
:)
It's funny how my other piece, which wasn;t as good, got reviewed shit loads more than this one a shit load quicker!! funny huh?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-09 11:30:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice, well not nice so much but, well, you know what I mean.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-10-09 10:54:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that's six kinds of fucked up.
Submitted by crosschris (user info) at 2007-10-09 10:44:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HOE LEE SHIT!
That was brilliant.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2007-10-09 10:44:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm manfat?
----
I actually spent a lot more time on this one than I did my first post. I'm really glad I got through the first round, even if just by default!!
I'm glad people liked this :)
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-09 10:43:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"as I forced my unwatchful ways upon. I was young and foolish then, I didn't know the joys of simply observing life. I was shocked to find she'd even bothered to keep it."
--------------------------------
Jimmy's Abortion Clinic- You rape em, we scrape em!
This was great. 50,000 lumens of awesome.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-09 10:43:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One cant hedge ones bets.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-09 10:42:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-09 15:41:52 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
If I ever need a sperm donor, you are my number one.
========
So not only do you lust after the uber wimminz, you're going after the manfat as well?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-09 10:41:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I ever need a sperm donor, you are my number one.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-09 10:41:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-09 10:34:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking hell, that was awesome.
Submitted by pshuu (user info) at 2007-10-09 10:34:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
How creepy. Good job.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-10-09 10:33:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I were writing this entry, I'd write it from the point of view of Eric Rice, and post pictures of girls that were taken without them knowing.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-09 10:32:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ummmm....damn.
Fine writing.