Cohesion (655 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.16 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by nicballs (View user info) at 2007-10-09 11:37:58 EDT
Gary swilled himself full of hot bourbon, taking in the last remnants of the half-gallon novelty bottle that his grandfather had brought back from Bermuda. Tax free, "ahhhh," duty free as the warmth spread through his body. His liver which was petrified was turning into a waxy glue, all but floating on it's own life jacket. "Hell," he though aloud, "where's the other bottle?"
And as Gary stumbled from his living room, to his dining room, and finally to the kitchen he caught the icy glare from his leering wife, Bethany. Bethany was a forgiving wife and would probably let this go--this time at least--if it weren't for him falling over her ruby glassware. He cut himself on his chin, which along with the white unshaven beard turned into a ruby highlight in of itself.
She panicked, called the cops and waited in silence as Gary clumsily fumbled around the house. Blood was dripping everywhere and finally he collapsed on the ecru carpet from blood loss. She was pacing back and forth on the same path that he used to come find the other bottle except she walked more straightly. Bethany's sobs came to a halt.
A strange gurgling noise escaped Gary's body, but wasn't from his lungs or stomach so far as Bethany could tell. She knelt over top of him, tucking her dress behind the backs of her knees placing her ear to his chest. As she got closer she noticed the heat.
In another bout of panic induced hysteria she raced to the freezer and grabbed the first thing she saw, a pack of frozen pork chops. When she returned his skin was effervescing, bubbling up, and melting the flannel shirt.
She put the pack of pork chops on his chest and that caused a moan, yet he continued to bubble and fizz, his body diminishing literally by the minute.
Bethany had never seen anything like this. Not knowing what to do, she got a towel and started wiping her husband up, globs of him now starting to settle in their reaction. A few of the pieces of Gary had burned through the towel, some through the floor, and it left Bethany dumbfounded.
By the time the police arrived Gary had completely disappeared and all that was left was a sobbing woman holding a towel.
"What took you so long?" Bethany demanded an answer.
"You think you are the only one on Grace St. with an emergency lady?"
"---" A bit of air escaped her mouth in a gasp.
She went to the door and looked out. Mr. Pomarskey was holding a dress with holes on it, beating it against the ground and muttering something incoherent in his front lawn. Doors were wide open up and down the street. An overwhelming feeling came over her when the medics asked what had happened.
"I, I don't know. One minute he was drinking, the next thing you know..."
"Yeah, we've gotten that variation today already." The paramedic retorted sullenly.
Panic caused her to black out.
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-01-15 14:55:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Well - I dunno about that Simo.
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-01-15 14:54:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-01-15 14:53:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha @ the downy below.
Your e-boner for me is growing, Jakey Poo.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-01-15 14:33:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
meh
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:33:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you like handing out -2s so much, so here's one for you.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-10-10 11:25:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-09 14:47:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-09 14:46:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-09 13:42:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Damnit. Rob got in there before I could insult your arms or whatever Oathy.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-10-09 13:35:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-10-09 06:30:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I didn't bother reading this as I could only get through the first sentence of pretentious, "OOOH, LOOK AT ME!," sophomoric euphemisms and subsequently wanted to shoot myself. Save this for a nice homosexual based email thread where you can CC and even BCC (top secret so he/she doesn't know you are reading) each other into your mind's happy oblivion.
You are a plague.
---
No I'm not.
You ARE a giant poo head though.
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-10-09 13:32:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fag below.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-09 13:30:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Proof read.
Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-10-09 13:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Part Deux? Perhaps???? Another series, more than likely?
Any feedback on the piece and whether or not I should continue would be nice.
I do realize that I had one typo in thought/though but structure, etc.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-09 13:16:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So what was the offending agent?
Submitted by jamowilly40 (user info) at 2007-10-09 12:22:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like turtles.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-10-09 12:06:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know for a grumpy wee dick-head you sure right gud.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-09 12:00:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cleanup on aisle four please.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-09 11:59:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
is it warm in here?
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-09 11:44:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
jeasus
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-09 11:41:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF?