Stick up for your Brother (545 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.33 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dirk Slax <lostnphound.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2007-10-09 17:08:42 EDT
When I was in 8th grade my brother was a freshman in high school. Somewhere between the time I crapped my pants in 2nd grade (http://www.ubersite.com/m/111967)to this point in time, I had grown enough to be able to stand up for myself, even against my older brother. This was a plus since he was always beating the shit out of me when we were growing up for going through his things, breaking his toys, etc. I think somewhere around 6th or 7th grade I lost whatever fear I had about hitting my brother back and knocked his ass out. I got in big trouble for it, but I couldn't help but feel proud of my accomplishment. Somehow after that we became closer as brothers and would stick up for each other no matter what stood in the way. Unfortunately, for Robert, we'll call him fuckstain, decided to be the first to fuck with our completely heterosexual brotherly love.
My brother had been complaining to mom about some kid at school who had been picking on him at the basketball games during the intermissions. He often came home with a cut lip, black eyes, and other randomly placed bruises. My parents had talked with the school about this it seemed to only provoke this bully further. Up to this point, I had never been given permission to fight with another kid, much less on school property. My mother took me aside one evening before driving my brother to a basketball game and said exactly these words to me, "Dirk, I want you to watch out for your brother tonight. If you see anybody wailing on him, I want you to bring them pain of such magnitude that they will never touch your brother again!" Maybe alittle over-exaggerated, but she did grant me permission to defend my brother if he was being bullied.
We arrive at the ball game and everything was going well for the entire first half. Knowing that the intermissions was the time frame that these unjust activities were happening to my brother I kept a close eye on him when the horn signaled the end of the 2nd quarter.
I followed 50 ft behind him as he walked to the vending machine to retrieve a refreshing coke.
Cue fuckstain's entrance. I laughed. This can't be the kid. He's 5 foot nothing, 100 and nothin pounds and skinnier than a rake. A strong breeze would blow his ass to CA. Nevertheless, he targeted my brother and moved in for the "kill". I didn't hear any of the transaction between them. I can only assume that fuckstain wanted my brother's money and was preparing to take it by force. He pushed my brother against the vending machine. I could hear the the plastic front groan under the pressure. I moved in so quickly I was sure I had superpowers. I proceeded to grab fuckstain by the hood of his fagjacket using it like a leash leading his face to wall. The connection of his face to the wall sounded something like dropping a melon onto a concrete floor. I was pleased. He stumbled to his feet like a drunken bum, dazed from his kiss with the wall. I took final measure by punching him square in the mouth bringing him to a pile on the floor. He was done. My brother, relieved, slurped his coke, basking in his freedom. Or maybe the coke was just that good.
Typical of most happy endings, my brother was not picked on again by that particular fuckstain. But we both knew there would be more to follow. And would take action as it was deemed necessary.
I recall a time when I beat a kid in the head with his own shoe whilst protecting my brother. I may save those details for a later post pending everyone enjoyed this one.
Take it light, all.
User Reviews
Submitted by greeneyedgrl (user info) at 2008-03-24 23:27:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SGRPUSS (user info) at 2007-10-10 10:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-10 08:19:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-10-09 17:41:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
alright... so, your OLDER brother, whom you were afraid of growing up, got beat up repeatedly by a kid smaller than him.
You realize, don't you, that this makes you the King of Pussies.
Also, you should learn how to write coherently. It helps us hate you slightly less, pants-crapper.
------------
That's the funniest review of October.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-10 08:08:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-10-09 22:41:59 BST (#)
Ranking: -1
alright... so, your OLDER brother, whom you were afraid of growing up, got beat up repeatedly by a kid smaller than him.
You realize, don't you, that this makes you the King of Pussies.
Also, you should learn how to write coherently. It helps us hate you slightly less, pants-crapper.
Submitted by Mrs.Somebody (user info) at 2007-10-10 01:08:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your mom is cool.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:53:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:53:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:42:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i've never been bullied, don't think my sisters have either.....I feel like i've missed out by not defending my families honour....
damn it.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:35:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hmmm...
Good point.
'gloid?
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:29:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think the thing that makes windbag and pants-crapper so nice to say is the fact that you can say them in front of your grandmother and technically, she can't smack you for it because they aren't curse words. Just name-calling.
I feel the Holy Ghost should follow the same theme.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:24:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My sister wouldnt have let me stand up for her, even if I was inclined to. Shes a daft cunt.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:15:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:12:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, but my 1st grade teacher told me that when I come across a new vocabulary word and use it three times in three sentences, it becomes my own.
So far, I have called the FedEx man, my dog, and SG's dog windbags. Therefore, it is my own.
If Windbag is the Jesus, and Pants-Crapper is the God, then what should be the Holy Ghost in my insult trinity?
---
I'd totally go with beef-mitten.
Of all the nonsense combo words out there, that one makes me smile on a pretty regular basis.
I've always found 'shit-stain' to be rather satisfying as well.
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:12:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, but my 1st grade teacher told me that when I come across a new vocabulary word and use it three times in three sentences, it becomes my own.
So far, I have called the FedEx man, my dog, and SG's dog windbags. Therefore, it is my own.
If Windbag is the Jesus, and Pants-Crapper is the God, then what should be the Holy Ghost in my insult trinity?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:07:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-10-09 17:55:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Look here, berg, between windbag and pants-crapper, I'm very close to the Holy Insult Trinity.
---
Well in all fairness you only APPRECIATED 'windbag'.
It was that crazy old cooter HotWillie that threw it out there.
'pants-crapper' was gold though. Maybe you ain't so bad after all.
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-10-09 17:55:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Look here, berg, between windbag and pants-crapper, I'm very close to the Holy Insult Trinity.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-10-09 17:48:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-10-09 17:41:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
It helps us hate you slightly less, pants-crapper.
---
That is some quality insulting right there.
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-10-09 17:41:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
alright... so, your OLDER brother, whom you were afraid of growing up, got beat up repeatedly by a kid smaller than him.
You realize, don't you, that this makes you the King of Pussies.
Also, you should learn how to write coherently. It helps us hate you slightly less, pants-crapper.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-09 17:36:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
In 8th grade I got sent home from school for three days for breaking another 8th-grader's nose after he pushed my 6th grade sister into a mud puddle and laughed. He tried something again a few weeks later and my sister kicked him in the sack. Hard. Lesson learned.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-09 17:19:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I beat a guy with a shoe for chewing too loud and sitting too close to me.
His wife later beat him with a frying pan.
I've never told my brother.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-09 17:17:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-10-09 17:12:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
is this before or after you became spiderman?