Curmudgeonly, or Precise? (634 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.37 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Cleave (View user info) at 2007-10-09 18:25:37 EDT
I was at the grocery store with my father-in-law the other day, just picking up some brats for a BBQ. My father-in-law is a well mannered Brit.
Behind us in the line was a couple whose child was repeatedly pushing the shopping cart into the my father-in-law's ankle, which was apparently very painful. He turned to the couple after a bit and asked (in his Manchester accent) "Excuse me but could you please ask your child to stop shoving the cart into me? It's quite painful."
"Oh... no," they replied, sounding important, "We can't tell our child what to do; we have raised him to learn the consequences of his actions on his own. It's very forward thinking."
"That's funny," he said - and without pausing he took the family-sized plain yogurt from their cart, opened it, and poured it onto the child's head. It was a very large container, and really more liquid than "yogurt."
"I was raised the same way."
He then turned back around; we paid for our stuff, and we left.
I had a smile on my face the entire way home.
User Reviews
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2007-10-11 10:59:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate other peoples children... MINE are perfect angels... I also have a bridge for sale if anybody is interested
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2007-10-10 14:59:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Forward think THAT bitch.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-10-10 14:53:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
so many kids... not enough yogurt...
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-10 12:10:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-10 11:18:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-10-09 23:39:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew this old Londoner who was walking through a particularly shady part of San Francisco (the Tenderloin) when he was approached by a skanky hooker who offered him her services. He politely said, "No, thank you," and went on his way. What class.
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Um...... as opposed to going hooligan on her and kicking her in the box? did you find five dollars after watching this happen?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-10 09:53:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh. Welcome.
Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-10-10 09:44:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
True or not, I have the image of a kid with gloopy liquid yogurt running down his head in my mind, his lip trembling with warning for the coming onslaught of a kid-sized grocery store tantrum, eyes wide with shock. It's our god-given right to terrorize them. Why else do people have kids?
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-10-10 09:25:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sounds like something my brother would have really done.
Bienvenue à Über
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-10 07:40:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-10-09 23:39:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew this old Londoner who was walking through a particularly shady part of San Francisco (the Tenderloin) when he was approached by a skanky hooker who offered him her services. He politely said, "No, thank you," and went on his way. What class.
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Why am I not surprised at all that there is a shady section of SF named 'The Tenderloin'?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-10 07:25:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2007-10-10 11:02:34 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-10-09 19:11:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Everyone knows that this didn't happen but the actual thought of it makes us happy.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2007-10-10 06:02:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-10-09 19:11:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Everyone knows that this didn't happen but the actual thought of it makes us happy.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-10 04:17:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I fuckin hate kids. 'Cept my own. Of course.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-10-10 04:00:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's a way to do it.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-10 03:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy would of shot the kid, put him over his shoulder, got home and had him mounted on his living room wall.
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2007-10-10 00:02:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well spaced, no glaring typos, coherent.
Although I am thinking this is a little unbelievable, you still get a plus 2.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-10-09 23:39:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew this old Londoner who was walking through a particularly shady part of San Francisco (the Tenderloin) when he was approached by a skanky hooker who offered him her services. He politely said, "No, thank you," and went on his way. What class.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-10-09 22:32:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 welcome.
Submitted by oapa (user info) at 2007-10-09 22:15:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol awesome
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-09 20:11:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
KICK THE KIDS' TEETH IN.
Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-10-09 19:11:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Everyone knows that this didn't happen but the actual thought of it makes us happy.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:52:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:45:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:36:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Things like this don't happen, us Brits are too closed off. We just glare then have a moan aboot it with a cup of tea later on.
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hahahaha
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:41:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, for the record, I don't believe you, either.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:37:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't believe you. But lishy gave you a +2 so who am I to argue?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:36:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Things like this don't happen, us Brits are too closed off. We just glare then have a moan aboot it with a cup of tea later on.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:34:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As it should be.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:33:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I like the idea of this, even if it's a bit fantastic. Bienvenido a Uber.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:31:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Serves you right for planning to BBQ CHILDREN in the first place, brats or not.
*rimshot*
Submitted by ParoxysmCleave (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:30:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This in fact actually happened to me.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:28:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh
not bad for a first post
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-10-09 18:28:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Which joke-a-day website did you rip this little fib from?