Untamed (repost) (539 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.62 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by shadow (View user info) at 2007-10-10 11:31:12 EDT
I crouch. I wait. I watch.
I am the ninja of suburbia, I am the ghost of Maple Street. I am a hunter. I am wild. I am without a master, I answer to no man.
I stalk my prey like a tiger on the trial of a stag, watching... waiting. Like a leopard winding my way down from the treetops I slink along the stairs, the carpet muffling each step like tall grass beneath my muscled form. I spy the home of my victim through the banister. The target rests motionless on the chair. Unaware. Unprepared. The set-up is perfect. My plan is working. I shall not be denied my prey.
I have thought about this moment endlessly, I am ready to strike. No! Too soon! I must be patient, I must not be rash. I have waited so long, a few more moments will not deter me. As a lion surveys the wide plains of untamed Africa, I watch the doors, the windows, the fireplace, all exits. It is quiet. It is as though the world outside holds its breath with me, waiting with me, knowing as I know that the moment has almost arrived. I feel the desire well up in me, my mouth waters. Every inch of my body is poised, tense and ready.
I will attack my prey. I will take my prey to the ground. I will rend the form of my prey. I will consume my prey, and when I have had my fill of the body of my prey I will spread the remains in all directions; a testament to my prowess, my cunning and my unending hunger... a warning to all who come after that I am a hunter, a beast, a creature that does not honor the conventions of man.
I am wild...
User Reviews
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-10-18 10:34:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just now found this.
Ninja-kitty made me laugh.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-18 10:13:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/110566#2556991
but see, that's the point of that whole post! (you must not have read it. just like i didn't read this one.) i'm trying to save these people their hard earned money and allow them the freedom to continue to semi-anonymously express themselves at the same time! i'm a man who cares about the people.
it's no surprise who put that up there anyway. it's Bret. he's spent about $25 on me through the uberboard now. slight obsession problem, ya see.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-11 03:22:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
har har
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-10-11 02:07:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-10 15:01:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
two dozen horse-pills of antibiotics and as many painkillers later, the swelling had gone down and the bloody-pussy-heniousness of it had disappeared.
BLAAAAARFFFFF
Submitted by The_Other_Tom (user info) at 2007-10-10 14:19:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ah, cats. Gotta love 'em.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-10 13:38:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dermatomyositis left untreated for a year. My skin was grey and I was surviving on stubbornness alone. Good times.
Tonsilitis rocks, doesn't it? Just thank Christ you didn't have those buggers taken out. It took me over a month to jump back from that.
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-10-10 13:26:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
just no.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-10-10 13:23:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What put you in the hands of doctors?
For me the first one was http://www.ubersite.com/m/90808 where I had a wad of fluid down in the old breathe-bags. The second was an infection of the tonsils where they turned black (yes black, dead necrotic tissue black) and were covered in pus and so swollen that they were leaking blood. Oh that was a doozey. But I was swelling out instead of in, so instead of surgery they decided to "see what happens"
I was THRILLED.
two dozen horse-pills of antibiotics and as many painkillers later, the swelling had gone down and the bloody-pussy-heniousness of it had disappeared.
I am starting a collection of hospital bracelets.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-10 13:09:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, when I had to go to JHU, the doctor said 'Whoa, how are you still alive?!'.
When doctors say shit like that, it always makes you feel great.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-10-10 12:51:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-10 12:35:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I <3 that cat.
You're not in the hospital, are you? B/c that would suck....
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My office is attached to a hospital, and their cafeteria is the only place to get food and arrive back from your 30min lunch on time.
I was in the hospital twice in the last year though, which broke my 18-year "NO HOSPITAL FOR SHADOW" streak.
And both trips, two different doctors said "Whoa, I have never seen that before." True story, I was there.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2007-10-10 12:35:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking cats.
We had a feral cat we found in our garage and we gave him food and water. You could pick him up, and after a couple of months he could actually be trusted to come into the house, but every now and then he'd just randomly go apeshit and claw the fuck out of you for reaching toward him.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-10 12:35:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I <3 that cat.
You're not in the hospital, are you? B/c that would suck....
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-10-10 12:17:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2007-10-10 11:59:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn me for rushing to look at the picture first.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-10-10 11:47:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Ah yes, my ridiculously circuitous plan is one-quarter complete!"
-Robot Devil
YAY DO-OVERS!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-10 11:41:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's better!
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-10-10 11:38:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Paralyzed_By_Hope (user info) at 2007-10-10 11:38:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-10-10 11:36:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking awesome!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-10-10 11:32:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Much better!
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-10-10 11:32:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment