A Vision of Armageddon and Survival (1151 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: 1.72 on 38 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SilvrWolf (View user info) at 2007-10-11 11:10:29 EDT
Below is a scenario I came up with about two years ago. If you suffer from a short attention span like me or don't feel like reading serious crap on a Thursday, you can skim it and go to the meat of this subject following the asterisks. What you take from this is up to you.
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It's been fourteen years since the end of the Apocalypse. The human race, struggling to comprehend the events that devastated their world, could only use that word to describe what had happened. The truth was actually much worse than that.
It started with the fallout of what they once referred to as "global warming". Human pollution and activity coupled with the natural heating of the planet had elevated the average global temperature to unprecedented levels. The polar icecaps were retreating and the subsequent additional warming caused what was then known as the "Dry Decade". For nearly ten years, rainfall fell only along the equator of the planet. 60% of the landmass in the northern hemisphere became arid deserts. The breadbaskets of North America and Asia became sandy wastelands. The entire southern hemisphere went without significant precipitation for five years. The Sahara Desert extended to the border of South Africa, consuming over 90% of the African continent. Arid sands completely surrounded the Mediterranean Sea and the Gobi desert swallowed China whole.
Within the first five years of the Dry Decade, 850 million people perished from famine and the resulting wars. China was hardest hit and its economy completely collapsed. They invaded all of Southeast Asia and launched campaigns into India in an effort to support and supply its 2 billion people. Without resources to reinforce them, the Chinese armies were utterly decimated. Wars over fresh water ravaged Africa and South America. The mighty Amazon and Nile rivers were reduced to mere trickles. Nearly 100 million people expired in North America alone. By the end of the decade, over 1.7 billion humans had died. In ten years, one superpower and 47 other countries ceased to exist.
New and old diseases spread unchecked as humans gathered and concentrated around fresh water sources. An extraordinarily virulent and contagious strain of dengue fever exploded out of Laos and spanned the globe within months. With an unprecedented mortality rate of nearly 60%, that disease alone claimed 30 million lives.
Because of the massive influx of fresh water into the oceans, both the Pacific and Atlantic thermo-haline conveyors shut down, launching a new set of natural disasters. For the first time in ten years and in all but the most ancient deserts, the rains returned. And it kept raining for three years. Mexico City, Rio de Janeiro, Bombay and the entire Mississippi River watershed were inundated with over thirty feet of water and abandoned. 400 million people worldwide died in the flooding.
As if the human race needed to be kicked while they were down, the Toba caldera awoke with a fury. The massive eruption launched 650 million tons of ash and debris into the stratosphere. The ash, carried by the newly awaked jet streams, covered the globe in eight months. Average global temperatures began to plummet and a new ice age began. Greenland, completely free of ice for eleven years, was covered in over twelve feet of snow in less than two weeks. The polar ice caps began advancing at a rate of more than fifty miles per year and were accelerating.
Within nine years of the Toba eruption and aided by the climatological rebound effect from the Dry Decade, New York and St. Louis lay under a half-mile of ice. All of Europe and Northern Asia were completely glaciated. The ice sheets in the southern hemisphere consumed two-thirds of South America and Africa. Nearly half of Australia was under a dense snow-pack and icebergs the size of Delaware drifted in the oceans northeast of Sydney.
When the ice sheets began to retreat and the planet started heating and healing again, the frayed ends of humanity breathed somewhat easier as crops once again began to grow. The Apocalypse had lasted nearly 25 years and claimed over 5.2 billion souls. The human race had barely survived.
That was fourteen years ago and the struggle continues today. The concept of countries or nations is gone. There are a few cities left and all of them are segregated into tribal districts. Because of the devastation to the planet's fauna, humans are still largely agrarian and subsistent. Nearly everything that had taken them 10,000 years to create and achieve is gone.
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Are you tired of all the environmental paranoia and doomsayers? Good. The above scenario was one of the worst cases I could think of. The truly scary thing is that it's not really paranoia. There is scientific evidence to support each of the events described. But this post isn't about the events; it's about surviving them.
So if you're thinking about trying out for Survivor: Earth, here's all you need to know in a nutshell:
The global climate is undeniably changing. Whether or not the globe is warming because of humans is purely academic, if not moot. The climate has been continually changing for millennia. What those future changes will ultimately lead up to is and will continue to be unknown, yet heatedly debated and speculated upon. What does global warming really mean to you as an individual? You and/or your descendents will adapt or you will die.
Here's what you need to know to survive: Don't expect your governments to shelter and protect you. No one knows how quickly and how severely the climate can/will change in any given area. Learn how to find and store fresh water from your environment. Learn how to slaughter your own meat, grow/gather your own food and how to preserve it. Learn how to provide shelter for yourself and loved ones. These are skills that are useful and necessary even if nothing drastic or catastrophic happens in our lifetimes. It doesn't get any simpler than that.
You or I may live our full lives without seeing the worst that this world can unleash on us climate-wise. But our children and/or their children may have a world that is completely different from what we know today. And of course, what they make of their world is up to them. However, it's up to us to plant the seeds of self-sufficiency now that they may need then.
Contrary to what many of us have been told, no one knows what tomorrow will bring, not even our governments. If civilization collapses tomorrow, do you think that the tattered remnants of our world leaders will take care of you and your loved ones? I highly doubt it. I contend that they'll be scrambling to save their own asses. The fact is that we just don't know what will happen.
I don't have grandiose desires to change the world and given our excessive polarity on seemingly every subject, I don't think any one person can. Yet you can learn and do what you need to survive with relative ease. We are given this life and intelligence specifically to learn, so fulfill your biological imperative of self-preservation and educate yourself. It may merely be a small step, but a small step forward is still a step forward.
User Reviews
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-07-13 18:19:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aw, I'd share my candy with you anytime, babycakes. Miss YOU. How are you?!
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2007-10-17 18:33:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by pshuu (user info) at 2007-10-11 12:36:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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1) I didn't even read the whole thing. I just think the idea of global warming is ridiculous and I made that point here.
2) Yes the *whole* post isn't about global warming, but I didn't like the post because it had anything to do with global warming; hence the -2.
3) Ass basket?... *Opens up SilvrWolfs Name-calling Generator and clicks 'generate'* Colonel Asslancer!
4) Okay Mr. Nugent, I don't recall ever living in Africa. I also have no doubts that my kids will be hellspawn. But I'm sure they'll be able to feed and shelter themselves, while your kids are out setting those booby traps. I'm sure your kids will wait in the trees for them to come through... but mine will be too busy flipping burgers and hanging out with their friends.
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Judging from the above, it's a good thing for you that breathing is involuntary. You're still missing the point, palooka: In the above HYPOTHETICAL scenario, your kids' friends would very likely be dead, and just who is going to work up that cow into burgers for you?
Nevermind.
Blissful ignorance seems to be working for you.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:59:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry, we already have a rob_berg on this website
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2007-10-11 12:42:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The scenario you've laid out here is both my dream, and my nightmare. I dream of surviving it and being truly free.
I fear that I won't survive.
Which is why I plan and prepare.
Submitted by pshuu (user info) at 2007-10-11 12:36:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2007-10-11 12:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow. Your reading comprehension skills are stellar, Roo. The post isn't about environmental warming, assbasket; it's about learning to survive. It's not about trying to fix anything, either. At least I can sleep easy knowing that my children will be able to set booby traps for your mongo hellspawn just so my legacy won't have to feed and shelter them. Thanks for shallowing out the gene pool.
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1) I didn't even read the whole thing. I just think the idea of global warming is ridiculous and I made that point here.
2) Yes the *whole* post isn't about global warming, but I didn't like the post because it had anything to do with global warming; hence the -2.
3) Ass basket?... *Opens up SilvrWolfs Name-calling Generator and clicks 'generate'* Colonel Asslancer!
4) Okay Mr. Nugent, I don't recall ever living in Africa. I also have no doubts that my kids will be hellspawn. But I'm sure they'll be able to feed and shelter themselves, while your kids are out setting those booby traps. I'm sure your kids will wait in the trees for them to come through... but mine will be too busy flipping burgers and hanging out with their friends.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-10-11 12:25:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
assbasket
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2007-10-11 12:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow. Your reading comprehension skills are stellar, Roo. The post isn't about environmental warming, assbasket; it's about learning to survive. It's not about trying to fix anything, either. At least I can sleep easy knowing that my children will be able to set booby traps for your mongo hellspawn just so my legacy won't have to feed and shelter them. Thanks for shallowing out the gene pool.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2007-10-11 12:13:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:39:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha, and this is why Uber is my secret. I refuse to show it to friends/loved ones/sig. others. IT'S MINE, AND Y'ALL CAN'T HAVE IT.
I do this also.
Submitted by pshuu (user info) at 2007-10-11 12:07:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.heartland.org/Article.cfm?artId=13860
Submitted by pshuu (user info) at 2007-10-11 12:07:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Woooooooo, gloooobal waaarmiiiiinnnnng! It will abduct your children while they sleeeeep! And it will cause an economic boom by raising the temperature 3.6o Fahrenheit... that's if you even believe all that hooey.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2007-10-11 12:04:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, it's the same. I check it about once a week.
I'm outta here, kids. Have fun and don't forget to support your local paedophiles.
Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:59:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you should hook a funnel up to her ear socket and shit in it. You still have the same email address?
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:58:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, after an irate phone call and some mildly vulgar chiding, I think I've convinced her to get back to work. I'm not really mad at her, but I'll act like it to get what I want.
Does that make me an evil person? I certainly hope so.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:43:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:41:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Polite? Oh, hell no. There's no place for politeness when it comes to girlfriends.
Wait, this is Uber. I should just threaten to reveal all of her personal info.
That'll learn her, dern her.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:39:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha, and this is why Uber is my secret. I refuse to show it to friends/loved ones/sig. others. IT'S MINE, AND Y'ALL CAN'T HAVE IT.
Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:37:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can just imagine the real SilvrWolf figuring out a polite way to tell you to get the fuck off his e-nuts. I'll do it for him, ok?
Just because he fucks your cunt silly doesn't mean that he wants you to chase after him like a lost puppy especially into his internet fantasy world. So, on his behalf and OSHA, we're going to kindly ask you to step off his dick unless you install handrails and seatbelts.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:35:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Goddamnit, B! I'm serious now. GET OUT!
Submitted by SGRPUSS (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:34:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:32:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SGRPUSS = SilvrWolf's alter.
**************************************
No I'm his sex slave
Submitted by SGRPUSS (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:33:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes i know, i was there.
Submitted by nicballs (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:32:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SGRPUSS = SilvrWolf's alter.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:32:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
he beat the game.
Submitted by SGRPUSS (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:30:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes, the master of all things sexual fucked me so hard i shit myself.
and baby you are my god.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:26:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
INCREDIBLY attached, scourge. She's given me autonomous control over her finances, her children and any decisions she makes. It's kinda like being a god, but without all that pesky omnipotence crap.
By the way, that very same girl is the Uber-user known as SGRPUSS.
Please keep the gasping to a minimum.
Submitted by SGRPUSS (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:24:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
yes master
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:24:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:23:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:23:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
THAT's the post!
Holy fuck. I laughed all over again reading that. So...the shitting woman?...she is insanely attached to you now, yes?
Sorry to belabour this, but that review is what I will forever remember you for now. Your Uber legacy, as it were.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:23:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
See, the thing is that it's only a matter of time before someone accuses you of being my alter. Then I'm just going to look like I'm stalking myself and even though that's an extraordinarily appealing idea, I'm not ready to cross that line yet. I just don't love myself that much.
Now, leave this place before I call Tracy and have her fire your sorry ass.
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:23:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:21:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Personally, I think we're living in the end of times, but that's just me.
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The cockroaches would disagree
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:21:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Personally, I think we're living in the end of times, but that's just me.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:20:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SGRPUSS (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:19:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you'll do that anyway
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:18:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Get off my website, you contemptible harpy!
You've been warned.
If you leave quietly, I'll put it in your butt tonight.
Submitted by SGRPUSS (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:15:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
kinda???????????????
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:14:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96832
I still kinda dig that chick.
Submitted by SGRPUSS (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:14:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome as always.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-11 11:13:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i have been trying to find that string of reviews wherein you revealed that you fucked a woman until she shit herself.
any idea where you left that?
i obviously didn't read this, but +2 for allowing me to make the request.