The Life of an Uber Succubus or Holy Fucking Christ Am I an Asshole Round 2 (1861 hits)
Category: Politics -> IraqRating: 0.5 on 96 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Twin Assholes (View user info) at 2007-10-11 15:13:15 EDT
Now most of you know that I'm not really an asshole...
Haha I can't even say it with a straight face...of course I'm an asshole, I did a fucking TMI and told you all that I have 2 assholes don't you see my ever present need to assert my asshole-ness upon the world. I can't fucking help myself and ubersite is always in dire need of some assholes to keep reality within sight.
That said, I want to get somewhat serious for a moment because you see I'm really and truly all about the general betterment of mankind, I like the idea of looking out for one another. Let it not be said that 'he's not heavy he's my brother' was saying that I took lightly because goddamn it...I care.
And right now I want to reach out to one uberrite in particular; the most recent man that has unknowingly and possibly unwillingly fallen victim to a Succubus of amazing power. Well at least she will tell you she has these powers, she will tell you things that upon first hearing might sound convincingly attractive such as:
"has an ass that was apparently made from a mold of perfect"
"medicated nymphomaniac"
"exceptionally bright, witty, and funny"
But upon further review she has been found to a liar, a manipulator, and overall a complete and utter bitch.
AND GODDAMNIT DANGER_PANTS I JUST DON'T THINK THAT YOU KNOW THAT YOU'VE BEEN DUPED AND I'M HERE TO HELP!!
That's right folks, our resident whorebeast CookieLass has sunk her talons into yet another poor sap and intends to feast on this poor guy much like a Black Widow Spider. The mere thought of anyone getting into any sort of relationship with this woman strikes dread deep within my soul.
Danger_Pants...bro...get out while you can...before you know it she'll be rifling through your computers and personal affects, going apeshit because you look at porn, like any other man and in short order most likely eating you out of house and home and generally turning you into something less than a man.
As her last man...or one of the last because frankly I'm not sure how long the list is nor do I know if he is even available for comment. For all I know that man may be laid up in and institution somewhere suffering from some psychotic condition brought on by this Maven of Female Manipulation.
But Perhaps I'm going too far...perhaps you have entered into this relationship knowing full well what you were getting into. You do seem to want to deny your relationship with her at every turn and that begs the question...are you ashamed...is perhaps 'Supergirlfriend' not as super as you once thought? Could it be that you are already uncovering the truth and now you know not what to do?
Sure you could argue this point ...you could continue to say that this relationship does not exist but sir, I have all the proof that I need. Aside from being able to read through your reviews towards other women on this site that are so Rowan-esque that it's frightening. Surely as a hetero male you don't really have all that venom towards the smaller, skinnier, prettier version of the species that you show here? Oh but she does, it comes from an underlying Troll mentality of resentment towards even the slightly pleasant to look at females...she can't help it...have you seen her? Of course you have I mean you two are like peas in a pod are you not?
Then of course there is the Myspace fiasco...you two...you little cheeky two...ever so cautious but not nearly cautious enough. I ask you, is it coincidence that she refers to herself on her myspace as 'SuperGirl'? Is it coincidence that you are her top friend? Is it even further coincidence that once this was made public that her myspace all of a sudden became private?
No Danger_Pants...I don't think it is. Rather I think you and this despicable human are in fact an item...and frankly man...RUN...RUN LIKE THE WIND MOTHERFUCKER.
User Reviews
Submitted by iseethrewu (user info) at 2007-11-23 20:54:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Youpoorsoul, sounds like you were hiding, and got caught! True mates don't need to worry about whats in their computer or cell phones. I bet she didn't worry about her computer or phone and you probably told her you didn't watch porn. And maybe in your world of lies and deception all men do watch porn. But in the world of Superwomen, men are happy enough with just her. You call her a black widow? Black widows stay close to their home and only attack when threatened, her venum will not kill because it is a small bite, but does need to be taken care of. So did she bite and you didn't have the courage to take care of yourself? So did she catch you? were you someone you said you were, and are just a fake poor anger creature? It only makes sense that any women would prefer Spider man, if you knew anything about him, especially Superwomen! Sounds like you were jelious of her, maybe you are really Catwomen, dark and dangerous. as you say the attraction was danger in your pants.So lookingthrewtheeyesoflove...Key Was two peasnapod...Superwomen found out twinasswholes secret... He's a man by day and a women by night.. You can judge anyone's truth from within, Exposure comes when they speak or write everything you write is you.. a broken, exposed, deceptive, angry, abusesive,vengifule, jelious man who wishes he was everything SUPERWOMEN IS. <TRUTH and LIGHT>. so some devil met white lite out to seek and destroy.... So there forth DECEPTION and DARKNESS may not regien in her exsistance. The devil who showed up in sheeps clothing was cast away.
All your lies twinasswhole,barry,whomever...will and are going to come down on you...
sounds like you stold 5,000. from her, cops being called for singing and playing gauitar, this too does not make any sense.. So for all my fellow UBERlights,, lets join together and enjoy, SEX, DRUGS, ROCK N ROLL.. and not hurt anyone else in the process, take responsibilty for our actions and NOT be a shamed of our jerney to careFOR All OF MANKIND. You laugh on the outside and You cry on the onthe inside. POWERFULLOVEONLYCOMESONCENALIFEULOSTHER,SUPERWOMEN omni love...
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2007-10-15 11:14:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2007-10-14 14:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-10-12 21:23:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My rape slave brings all the rapes to the yard,
And they're like: "Rape rape-rape-rape rape!"
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AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!
I FORGOT ABOUT THAT!
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hahahahahaha
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2007-10-14 20:42:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I should be giving this a wide berth... dig the melodrama though.
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2007-10-14 16:04:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
another post about our very own delusional, pathological lying lardass, urba... i mean cookielass(easy mistake to make). http://www.ubersite.com/m/78003#1667544
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2007-10-14 14:53:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-10-12 21:23:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My rape slave brings all the rapes to the yard,
And they're like: "Rape rape-rape-rape rape!"
------------------------------------------------
AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!
I FORGOT ABOUT THAT!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-10-12 21:23:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My rape slave brings all the rapes to the yard,
And they're like: "Rape rape-rape-rape rape!"
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-10-12 17:56:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for linking to this http://www.ubersite.com/m/110854#2495415
Oh, and AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-10-12 17:03:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JulsInsane (user info) at 2007-10-12 16:00:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-12 14:20:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<old man voice> In the old days this would have had hundreds of heat and been #1 most heated in short order. <end old man voice>
this kind of fizzeled though the post <i> was </i> well done.
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What can you say about her that hasn't really already been said.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-12 14:20:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<old man voice> In the old days this would have had hundreds of heat and been #1 most heated in short order. <end old man voice>
this kind of fizzeled though the post <i> was </i> well done.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-10-12 11:13:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and frankly man...RUN...RUN LIKE THE WIND MOTHERFUCKER.
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Gold.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:34:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i guess that would explain my face and all. putting random bits of stainless steel through it has really taken its toll.
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Yes, well, I'm certainly regret getting that prince albert made out of tin.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-12 08:57:50 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am joking Thorny. Everyone knows that all the Uber ladies are so classy that they explode on contact with non precious metals.
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MY PRECIOUSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-12 10:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i guess that would explain my face and all. putting random bits of stainless steel through it has really taken its toll.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:57:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am joking Thorny. Everyone knows that all the Uber ladies are so classy that they explode on contact with non precious metals.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:50:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-12 08:26:47 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know, an uber lady mightn't be too bad. Afterall there is a greatly enhanced probability that they will take it up the shitter with gusto.
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Hahahahahaha Berty...although I am not one for back door games myself, you raise a good point.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:45:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:26:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know, an uber lady mightn't be too bad. Afterall there is a greatly enhanced probability that they will take it up the shitter with gusto.
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i thought that was our little secret :(
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I said "with gusto" not "with a kitchen appliance". Our secret is as safe as a bakery in Brazil.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:26:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know, an uber lady mightn't be too bad. Afterall there is a greatly enhanced probability that they will take it up the shitter with gusto.
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i thought that was our little secret :(
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:36:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jeaneeee licks it clean afterwards. She is an angel.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:29:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uber chicks are raving sluts.
I mean this as the highest of compliments.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:26:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know, an uber lady mightn't be too bad. Afterall there is a greatly enhanced probability that they will take it up the shitter with gusto.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-12 09:03:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:29:25 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jebus, who in their right mind makes "friends" on teh intarweb? SRSLY?
Or online dating? WTF?
And GOOD LORD why would you ever combine the two with UBERSITE???
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Re #1: it's only a small step of faith and courage to take the leap from online to real life. I met several of the UK Uber faction almost two years ago now and everyone was incredibly nice and normal. As are the handful of fellow USA Uberites that I communicate with outside of Uber.
Re #2: don't knock it until you've tried it. 'Tis how I met my wife of now 6+ years, and we're happy as clams. We've had our ups and downs, but none of the downs had anything to do with the online thing...just normal issues that every couple works through at some point, regardless of how they meet.
Re #3: no experience here, but I wouldn't recommend it, either. :p
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-10-12 04:13:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the last sentence did it for me.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-10-12 03:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who is this cookie guy?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-10-11 21:19:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-11 17:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I can honestly say that I don't remember ever having an actual conversation of any type with Cookie.
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She has boobs. You'd love her.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-10-11 18:27:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have no idea what this is about but I'll be fucked if I don't rate after reading all that.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-10-11 17:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I can honestly say that I don't remember ever having an actual conversation of any type with Cookie.
Such blatant & wonderful hate makes me smile, however.
Almost enough so to wish death upon someone's family.
**looks around**
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-10-11 17:32:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ubersecret Uberalles
Also, I never let anyone know about this site
groups.yahoo.com/group/sisdecadence
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-10-11 17:29:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
jebus, who in their right mind makes "friends" on teh intarweb? SRSLY?
Or online dating? WTF?
And GOOD LORD why would you ever combine the two with UBERSITE???
No good can come of this. *tosses two cents into the hat at Bart's feet, walks away*
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-11 17:06:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ahahahaha
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Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:02:45 PST (#)
Ranking: -2
COME HERE MY LITTLE FRAULEIN
LET ME STROKE YOUR....HOW DO YOU SAY.....PENIS?
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Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:02:17 PST (#)
Ranking: -2
I feel all weird not be involved in this UberDrama.
Method...hold me!
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-11 17:05:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
be honest about uber or you will regret it
believe me
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-11 17:03:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
MW- It was pouring here earlier, and it's very overcast, but the ground I can see seems to have dried up- might start again at anytime though.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-11 17:01:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FG- I flirt with letting certain friends (one or two, max) see Uber, then always wonder later what I've done. I think it's more about enjoying the freedom I have to come here and say/write about anything, which also has the potential to hurt feelings if read by the wrong person or in the wrong context.
If I were in a serious relationship, I'd have to come clean, I'm too honest that way..but I think I might need a fairly solid foundation before I'd go linking anyone to my user info!
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:59:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sacy...is it raining down your way?
i'm at work late today....pft who would ask me to stay past 3...and its raining up here in North Jersey
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:57:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:42:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if she was on uber, and isn't any more.. but isn't cookielass - who is this SUPERGIRLFRIEND??
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111458#2515831
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:55:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:34:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:03:49 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:39:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, dear.
Things I can never do, thanks to ubersite:
-Ever let a significant other within a mile of ubersite
----
Heh. The Man recently asked what I was writing (first Gruberfest enteries). I explained it was a short horror story for Uber. He wanted to know all about it so I pulled up my user info and let him browse through my stuff. This of course got him curious about what goes on here in general. After about an hour of snooping around, he turned in the computer chair to face me and said,
"I knew you were a little off center. This just proves it."
==========================
Ha. At least you didn't get the cops called on you for creating a public disturbance from within your own house playing guitar and singing "SOUPS ON, BITCH! NO! HE WILL NOT SKATE IT OFF" at the top of your lungs. :(
~~~~~~~~~~
No, but he saw my Necrophilia post, http://www.ubersite.com/m/78071
and has been warily watching me out of the corner of his eye ever since.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:53:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
SEVEN DAYS!!!
btw now my hair looks even more long and ratty. but it's half blondishbrownish crap and half black.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:49:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:42:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if she was on uber, and isn't any more.. but isn't cookielass - who is this SUPERGIRLFRIEND??
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111458#2515831
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ok well that just nails it down then.
cuz if you go to the link caul posted there's a picture or whatever of the dog in those pics named shadow.
HOW DO YOU GUYS KEEP THIS ALL STRAIGHT?!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:47:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well it's on there mostly because of the reviews, especially caul's
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88037#1979452
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:47:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I did once, for about two weeks.
Vacation.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:46:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:36:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Method/l/pwned
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haha i like how one of my camwhores is there.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:43:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
not to mention, no one ever really leaves uber...
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:42:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if she was on uber, and isn't any more.. but isn't cookielass - who is this SUPERGIRLFRIEND??
http://www.ubersite.com/m/111458#2515831
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:36:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/u/Method/l/pwned
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:34:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:03:49 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:39:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, dear.
Things I can never do, thanks to ubersite:
-Ever let a significant other within a mile of ubersite
----
Heh. The Man recently asked what I was writing (first Gruberfest enteries). I explained it was a short horror story for Uber. He wanted to know all about it so I pulled up my user info and let him browse through my stuff. This of course got him curious about what goes on here in general. After about an hour of snooping around, he turned in the computer chair to face me and said,
"I knew you were a little off center. This just proves it."
==========================
Ha. At least you didn't get the cops called on you for creating a public disturbance from within your own house playing guitar and singing "SOUPS ON, BITCH! NO! HE WILL NOT SKATE IT OFF" at the top of your lungs. :(
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:34:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well his comments certainly do sound a lot like her.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:32:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
oh man - can you imagine finding YOURSELF as an uber account?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:31:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No. She probably is dating that guy for all I know, but I think the Ubersite account belongs to her and not him.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:29:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wait, Jeanneee are you saying that this beau is completely made up...that Rowan's madness has stooped to the level of fabricating a man in lieu of actually getting one?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:25:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Danger_Pants isn't that girl's boyfriend, it's her alter. Duh.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:25:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
seriously though...someone really needs a life for going through the effort of putting this post together...sure cookies a bitch and still owes me 50 dollars but this...this is just over the line.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:21:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-11 13:03:49 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:39:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, dear.
Things I can never do, thanks to ubersite:
-Ever let a significant other within a mile of ubersite
----
Heh. The Man recently asked what I was writing (first Gruberfest enteries). I explained it was a short horror story for Uber. He wanted to know all about it so I pulled up my user info and let him browse through my stuff. This of course got him curious about what goes on here in general. After about an hour of snooping around, he turned in the computer chair to face me and said,
"I knew you were a little off center. This just proves it."
---------
MLW found my stuff here too, via a chance google search wherein she recognized my username. She read it. She now thinks my strangeness is no deeper, but just a bit wider than she used to do. Yay Uber.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:21:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/110854#2495359
old links lead back to such great nuggets of awesome.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:15:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:10:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-11 21:08:34 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:06:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-11 21:03:49 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Heh. The Man recently asked what I was writing (first Gruberfest enteries). I explained it was a short horror story for Uber. He wanted to know all about it so I pulled up my user info and let him browse through my stuff. This of course got him curious about what goes on here in general. After about an hour of snooping around, he turned in the computer chair to face me and said,
"I knew you were a little off center. This just proves it."
------------
Whilst making this masterpiece: http://www.ubersite.com/m/98734 my ex-girlfriend asked me "Who is this Shlongy guy and why are you pasting his head onto Arnold Schwarzanegger's body?!"
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so what does the new one say about jungle exploration in your garden?
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She thought it was hilarious but then she's even more mentally damaged than I am. Shes a pretty weird chick sometimes.
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next expedition to my backyard!!
i've caught two toads and a frog in the past couple weeks. as well as saved one poor frog from death by cat.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:14:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
heh - I think I'd rather be on YOUR side of that...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:10:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Isn't it though?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:10:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-11 21:08:34 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:06:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-11 21:03:49 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Heh. The Man recently asked what I was writing (first Gruberfest enteries). I explained it was a short horror story for Uber. He wanted to know all about it so I pulled up my user info and let him browse through my stuff. This of course got him curious about what goes on here in general. After about an hour of snooping around, he turned in the computer chair to face me and said,
"I knew you were a little off center. This just proves it."
------------
Whilst making this masterpiece: http://www.ubersite.com/m/98734 my ex-girlfriend asked me "Who is this Shlongy guy and why are you pasting his head onto Arnold Schwarzanegger's body?!"
----
so what does the new one say about jungle exploration in your garden?
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She thought it was hilarious but then she's even more mentally damaged than I am. Shes a pretty weird chick sometimes.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:10:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh hell girl, I'll e-mail you his phone number!
It'll be great fun. You can obscene-prank-call him! I can hear it now,
Me: How was your day today?
The Man: Fine except that I got some prank calls.
Me: Oh?
The Man: Some woman. Kept talking weird. Said things like "Y Halo Thar Buttsecks?" Then she started heavy breathing and saying the words "squick squick squick." Next thing I know, I get a picture message of some red headed woman sucking on a banana. People are crazy.
Me: Gee, how odd. <stifles laughter>
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:08:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:02:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THIS is the post that broke the whole story wide open:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88685
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that is a godamn shame.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:08:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:06:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-11 21:03:49 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Heh. The Man recently asked what I was writing (first Gruberfest enteries). I explained it was a short horror story for Uber. He wanted to know all about it so I pulled up my user info and let him browse through my stuff. This of course got him curious about what goes on here in general. After about an hour of snooping around, he turned in the computer chair to face me and said,
"I knew you were a little off center. This just proves it."
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Whilst making this masterpiece: http://www.ubersite.com/m/98734 my ex-girlfriend asked me "Who is this Shlongy guy and why are you pasting his head onto Arnold Schwarzanegger's body?!"
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so what does the new one say about jungle exploration in your garden?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:06:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-11 21:03:49 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Heh. The Man recently asked what I was writing (first Gruberfest enteries). I explained it was a short horror story for Uber. He wanted to know all about it so I pulled up my user info and let him browse through my stuff. This of course got him curious about what goes on here in general. After about an hour of snooping around, he turned in the computer chair to face me and said,
"I knew you were a little off center. This just proves it."
------------
Whilst making this masterpiece: http://www.ubersite.com/m/98734 my ex-girlfriend asked me "Who is this Shlongy guy and why are you pasting his head onto Arnold Schwarzanegger's body?!"
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:06:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmmmm... send me his email? I have an ubermadness post to live up to...
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Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-11 13:03:49 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:39:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, dear.
Things I can never do, thanks to ubersite:
-Ever let a significant other within a mile of ubersite
----
Heh. The Man recently asked what I was writing (first Gruberfest enteries). I explained it was a short horror story for Uber. He wanted to know all about it so I pulled up my user info and let him browse through my stuff. This of course got him curious about what goes on here in general. After about an hour of snooping around, he turned in the computer chair to face me and said,
"I knew you were a little off center. This just proves it."
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:04:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
D'oh!
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Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-11 12:57:37 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
whoah...click on the link that Caul just provided....look at the picture of Rowan and then look at the picture of....DANGER PANTS right next to her!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:03:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:39:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, dear.
Things I can never do, thanks to ubersite:
-Ever let a significant other within a mile of ubersite
----
Heh. The Man recently asked what I was writing (first Gruberfest enteries). I explained it was a short horror story for Uber. He wanted to know all about it so I pulled up my user info and let him browse through my stuff. This of course got him curious about what goes on here in general. After about an hour of snooping around, he turned in the computer chair to face me and said,
"I knew you were a little off center. This just proves it."
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:02:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-08-09 17:34:04 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good lord, that last picture of her looks like Vigo the Carpathian from Ghostbusters 2.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:02:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THIS is the post that broke the whole story wide open:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88685
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:01:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I heard that their periods attract bears. They can smell the menstruation.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:00:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What does it all mean?!?
I like it when posts like this happen at the end of my work day...
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-11 16:00:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not really below
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:59:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Top this... When he replied here (denying that she was his girlfriend), myspace listed him as offline but Rowan as online....
This is truly fascinating.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:59:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This feels like a "Uber spiralling out of control into a real-name dropping circle of hatred which causes at least one Ubernaut to log out and never log back in again" style of post.
I like them.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:57:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
whoah...click on the link that Caul just provided....look at the picture of Rowan and then look at the picture of....DANGER PANTS right next to her!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:55:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like things that are done well, and this was done well.
Good job, Mr. Twin Assholes.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:51:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:48:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:19:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I missed why everyone thinks Cookielass is an Alpha-level fuck-knuckle. Anyone care to enlighten me?
===
this posts and the comments explains a bit: http://www.ubersite.com/m/110854
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:51:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:48:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:19:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I missed why everyone thinks Cookielass is an Alpha-level fuck-knuckle. Anyone care to enlighten me?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:49:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm not sure i understand all of this but i know cookielass is a fucking nutjob.
a pretty ugly one too.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:48:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know what we're YELLING ABOUT!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:48:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i've STILL never even heard of this pansyass.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:48:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:19:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I missed why everyone thinks Cookielass is an Alpha-level fuck-knuckle. Anyone care to enlighten me?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:47:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:34:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So it's pure coincidence that you hate who she hates and that you type like her half the time? It's coincidence that you blindly denounce random women here? It's coincidence that within half an hour of me saying this originally she shut off access to her myspace to any non-friends? It's coincidence that within 5 minutes of this fine fella telling someone to get a message to me, she deleted that person as a friend on myspace?
No, my friend. You are denying for all you are worth because you don't want it out that she has a new puppet to speak loudly for her because she can't hang. After all, you're bad in bed and finally found someone to stick around in spite of that.
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ooooooh NOW i get it.
i can't keep all that drama shit. at least i know he hates me cuz he's a pussy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We already KNOW Cookielass is a five star nutcase - and not a slim one at that- but...
who the fuck is Danger Pants and how did he get caught in her web?
I don't think I ever heard of this dork.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:39:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, dear.
Things I can never do, thanks to ubersite:
-Run for public office
-internet dating
-Ever let a significant other within a mile of ubersite
All I know is, if I ever had a boyfriend who felt the need to lie for any reason about the fact that he was my boyfriend, I should no longer have a boyfriend. Not saying that this is the case here, of course.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:37:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
LOUD NOISES
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:34:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i love me some cookie hate
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:34:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So it's pure coincidence that you hate who she hates and that you type like her half the time? It's coincidence that you blindly denounce random women here? It's coincidence that within half an hour of me saying this originally she shut off access to her myspace to any non-friends? It's coincidence that within 5 minutes of this fine fella telling someone to get a message to me, she deleted that person as a friend on myspace?
No, my friend. You are denying for all you are worth because you don't want it out that she has a new puppet to speak loudly for her because she can't hang. After all, you're bad in bed and finally found someone to stick around in spite of that.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:34:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-07-03 01:32:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tell her that if she isnt careful, Im gonna come to the house and break more of her picture frames.
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Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-07-03 01:29:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
She says STFU then. And called you some name in another language that she uses sometimes that I don't understand.
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Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-07-03 01:27:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Tell her no can do. Im at work and IM is not allowed.
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Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-07-03 01:17:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
She says to tell you to shut up fast and log onto your messenger.
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Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-07-03 01:08:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thats what Rowan said.
How do you know me?!?!?!!?!?
Were you in 1/8 CAV?
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Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-07-03 01:01:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
For 7 years.
I "know" you.
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Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2007-07-03 00:47:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a soldier, aren't you?
Submitted by DangerPants (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:28:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice with the photoshopping. It's always interesting to see what depths people will sink for their own entertainment. Not to mention dredging up old non-drama to perpetuate it.
I stand by what I said originally. That isn't my girlfriend, and I don't have permission from said girlfriend to post a picture of her. And this is exactly why she won't give it. Because you people have far too much time on your hands to be trusted with anything.
That being said, I have addressed the subject as much as I'm going to, and more than it deserves. Make your own call.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:27:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Iraq
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:26:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Who was the last guy? I've totally forgotten..
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:25:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
CATEGORY - POLITICS - IRAQ
?!?!?!?! hahahaha...
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:23:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
drama drama
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:23:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lmao this sort of shit is why I come to ubersite
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:22:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good hate, here
oh, and I think Cookielass is totally hott - haven't you seen the skycam shots?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:20:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Danger_Pants...bro...get out while you can...before you know it she'll be rifling through your computers and personal affects, going apeshit because you look at porn,"
********
Those would be "personal effects." you fucking retard. Are you Shlongy in disguise?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:19:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I missed why everyone thinks Cookielass is an Alpha-level fuck-knuckle. Anyone care to enlighten me?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-10-11 15:17:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This has so much potential.